Fear the Walking Dead: Redemption
by Crow Reaper
Summary: Mikhail Romanenko is a secret admirer of Alicia Clark and former best friend of Alicia's deceased boyfriend, Matt Sale. Before the outbreak, he slips into a coma after a failed suicide attempt. When Mikhail awakens from his coma and survives encounters with Walkers, he learns that Alicia is alive, and makes it his mission to find her and save her. This is non-canon btw.
1. Chapter 1: Awakening

**Chapter 1: Awakening**

Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.

 **\- Edgar Allan Poe**

* * *

 **02.08.2010**

Operator: 911 what is your emergency?

Caller: There's been a car accident, come quickly!

Operator: Calm down… please tell me, slowly… how many are injured.

Caller: Just one.

Operator: Is the subject conscious?

Caller: No, he's unconscious.

Operator: Is he still breathing?

* * *

Patient Name: Mikhail Romanenko

DOB: 25.12.1991

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Height: 6.3

Weight: 152 Ibs

Blood Type: AB

Sustained injuries:

...

...

...

State of condition:

In a coma

* * *

 **Anonymous Voice:** Aktivirovat' yevo... Activate him!

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 15.08.2010**

What is an afterlife? Is there a heaven and hell? What is the meaning of life? What is the meaning of death? Those are questions we would all at some point ask ourselves, despite what our beliefs are.

What is hell may I ask myself? Hell is anyone's perception or experience. Ideally a transmundane prison we cannot escape, where all hope is abandoned. Where we are constantly tortured or fated to meet a grisly unexpected outcome, repeating itself in an endless loop.

One time when my eyes closed, and reopened them again, I was convinced that I truly was in hell. The question I did ask myself and still do, am I dead or am I still alive, just living in a nightmare I can never wake up from?

* * *

In the abyss where everything was black and everything was silent, the sound of glass shattering and crashing to the floor and the thundering gunfire would break that silence. Then a bright shining white light blazed and saturated the entire area. Eventually the light started to change to a variety of colors, which subsequently formed into shapes, which bared its own color. Those shapes begun to form and become more identifiable to the human eye.

That human eye fixated on one image, which perceived and adapted to its surroundings, and determined where it was and why it was here.

Then there was heavy breathing and the glimpse of something moving according to the breathing pattern. The eyes could move side to side, then there was sudden movement, which could be done on command; my command.

I was able to move my head freely and view the room, which to my recollection looked like a hospital room. I don't remember how I got there, but I knew I was lying in a hospital bed with no one but me. The lights were still on, and the door on the other side was open, with lights in the corridor. How I got myself in hospital I could not remember at first, but I knew that I woke up from a coma. This was proven obvious when I realized that my other senses were coming back to me. First I regained my sense of hearing, then my sight and then my sense of smell. I could smell what I assumed to be chlorxylenol, or some other variation of chemicals, which I didn't know by name. I observed my surroundings, seeing that on each side hung a curtain, a bedside table and a life support machine. Unable to turn my head to half degree and use all the joints in my body, I was able to move my arms, I held my hands in front of my face. Unable to sit up, I remained in bed and waited for a nurse or a doctor to come to my aid.

I woke up to the sound of screaming and gunfire echoing in the hallway. In a fit of panic, I tried to sit up, but couldn't. I could only shake my body side by side. I couldn't feel my legs, so I knew I was stuck in bed with my arms being my only means of defense.

Then I heard the sound of footsteps echo in the hallway, but there was something strange about the rhythm of those footsteps. It didn't sound like the person was walking normally, it was if that person was limping. The footsteps got louder and louder, and I knew it was coming to my door. I lifted myself off my back (with my elbows), and got ready to call out to whoever would appear at the door.

A figure walked in sight, and it appeared to be a nurse in uniform. I was relieved to see someone who I could call out to for assistance.

„Hey nurse, can you help me?" I called out.

The nurse in response turned around, but the way she did it wasn't normal. She twisted her body towards me. Her breathing was abnormal. It was hoarse as if she was gasping for air. She advanced towards me, and I got the funny feeling she was drunk.

I was tempted to try and communicate with her, but that impulse was hindered when I got a view of her face, as she came out of the shadows and stepped into the light. She looked dead, her skin was white as chalk, she had patches of torn flesh and part of her lip was bitten off. Her eyes had diluted pupils and were cloudy. She opened her mouth with thick saliva dribbling out, and out of her gaping mouth emitted a gurgling roar.

This struck fear into the pit of my stomach, because I knew I was in danger. Her breathe was rancid, it was enough to make me throw up, but the adrenaline prevented me from doing so. She threw herself on me and attempted to bite my neck, but I used my only means of defense, my arms. I looked away and could hear her trying to chomp at my ear.

After many failed attempts to bite me, I used all the strength in my arms to push her away. She staggered back and fell against the curtain, breaking the curtain off the railing as she fell down on the floor.

Knowing that the reanimated (ridiculous I know) looking nurse was temporarily incapacitated, I knew I would have to act quickly if I wanted to survive this. I looked both sides for weapons, or anything I could use to defend myself with. The bedside table to my left had a metallic vase, which I could use to bludgeon the monstrosity, but the only problem was it was out of reach. The only other item that was in reach on table was a photograph.

As I lay my hand flat on the photo, the nurse emerged from the floor and grabbed me, dragging me down to the floor. I hit the hard floor, feeling the impact and the pain in my arm (that I used to break my fall), but there was no time for pain. I was fighting for my life against the nurse whose duty was to kill me. I successfully punched the nurse a couple of times in the face, but she was unresponsive to pain, and I knew that all I could do was stop her from biting me. Eventually I would get tired and the nurse would overpower and kill me, unless I could think of a solution to incapacitate her permanently. Looking down, I caught a glimpse of a red pen that was clipped to her front pocket. I grabbed the pen and with determination for survival, I rammed the pen into her temple. The nurse's mouth gaped open and her eyes rolled up, and I pushed her away.

Relieved that I had survived the encounter and I was safe for now, I was able to sit myself up and lean my back against the bedside table.

„Damn I need a cigarette," I cursed in my mother tongue. I looked to the incapacitated nurse lying on her back, pondered whether she was a smoker, and had any cigarettes on her. I leaned towards her and searched her pocket for cigarettes, and the only thing I found in her pockets was a pack of gum. Again I cursed in my mother tongue and sat against the bedside table. My mouth was dry and needed water, but I was craving more for a cigarette.

Looking at my feet, I could see that I could wiggle my toes and move my feet, but I was unable to bend my knees.

Deciding to relax and recover my strength, I looked to my side and found the photo on the floor, which was lying face down. On the back of the photo bared scribbled and untidy handwriting, 'Save her'. I turned the photo round and saw a reminiscent of my past life, it was an acquaintance, a beautiful young girl. I felt a heart beat in my chest again and I whispered her name as I recall, „Alicia."

 **To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2: Survival

**Chapter 2: Survival**

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

 **\- Friedrich Nietzsche**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 15.08.2010**

As I begun my escape from hospital by crawling on my naked belly, I had the determination and incentive to do so. After regaining one of my old memories, a happy one to say the least. I was compelled to get myself out in the open and find Alicia. It was now my duty to save this one girl, the girl who I love. I would do anything to save her.

* * *

Crawling on my belly after a while, caused me discomfort. I already felt bruised by the hardness of the floor, and putting a lot of pressure on my elbows. I was relieved to know I could arch my back, which was a sign I was regaining the use of my limbs. Only a matter of time would I be able to crawl on all fours, and eventually walk again.

When it seemed I was safe, my hopes were dashed when I saw another figure at the other end of the hallway. Being prepared for another hostile just like the nurse who attacked me, I was quick to judge that this was foe not friend. Just like the nurse, this figure staggered towards me. It glared and snarled, destining its way towards me at quite a fast pace.

I was unarmed and still unable to walk, so I had to improvise how I was going to overcome this encounter. I saw behind me there was a bloodied corpse, which was wearing a security guard uniform. Seeing this corpse as a means to survive this encounter, I hurriedly crawled towards it, hoping to find a weapon of some sort.

When reaching the corpse, I fumbled around the waist and felt something hard, round and metallic. I pulled it out, and to my delight, it was a pistol. Sensing the danger behind me, I flipped onto my back and without hesitation or time to wonder if the gun was loaded, I pulled the trigger. There was a loud bang and a jolt in my hands, then there was a red hole in the middle of my foe's head. A splatter of blood emitted from behind his head, and he fell onto the floor remaining motionless and unresponsive.

I allowed myself to relax and reflect over surviving my second encounter with these walking corpses, which I feared that there might be more of. Then without warning, I heard the sound of gurgling, growling and snarling, which made me turn my head in which direction it was coming from. There with my own eyes, I was beholden to a group of these walking corpses. As they advanced towards me with their evil eyes glued into mine, I drew the pistol, took aim and fired. Each shot I fired hit each target, sending them to the ground and putting them out of action. The last one still walking, advanced at a fast pace towards me. I pulled the trigger, but to my shock there was a click, which meant I was out of ammunition.

Feeling defenseless I saw the walking corpse leap towards me with a wide gaping mouth making a raspy tone. Assuming this was going to be the end for me, my death was delayed when I felt the bottom of my feet on his chest and saw that both my knees were bent. I kicked him off me and he flew backwards and crashed onto the floor.

Knowing I was out of bullets and had an empty pistol in my hand, I tried to stand up, and was relieved to know that I could sit on my knees. Seeing the corpse slowly get back up onto his feet, I quickly examined the dead security guard, and grabbed the tonfa from his belt. Again feeling armed and confident, I swung more than anything in my life at the monstrosity. With one hefty horizontal swing, the tonfa impact against the skull and sounding like hitting a tree with a thick branch. As the walking corpse fell on its side, I felt the tonfa vibrate in my hand and, I felt my arm shaking from the adrenaline.

I felt myself laughing with hysteria of having survived another attack, I saw the walking corpse was not dead, and tried crawling towards me. I saw a fire extinguisher beside me, which I grabbed and bludgeoned him to death. I didn't stop until his skull was nothing but broken bone and a pile of splat and mush. The sight of it caused me to hurl and collapse back down to the floor with fatigue.

„Hey it's time to get up," toned a distorted voice, and I responded by opening up heavy eyelids and saw a person looking down at me. I could tell by the tone of his voice he was a youth, around my age. He offered me his hand, and by looking at it, I could tell he was a black man. I took his hand and he pulled me up with incredible strength. I found my feet flat on the floor and that I could support my own weight. However, I could only barely stand up, which meant I had to lean against the wall just to walk down the hall.

While I brushed my shoulder against the wall, I could feel my knees wobble, and at times my knees wouldn't bend. I got the feeling that I could dislocate my knee when I almost fell to the ground, so I took each step cautiously, and made sure my knee was bent when my foot touched the ground.

„Come on," yelled a distorted voice that echoed in the hall, it made my ear ring. I looked up and there was that black man again, still a blur in the distance. I could only see him beckon with his hand. He suddenly ran to the left and disappeared from my sight.

„Wait," I called out, but he did not come back. I hustled myself down the hall, even hopping on the way. I reached the end of the hallway and looked to my left, only to see a door close, which was where I assumed that black guy ran into.

I opened the door and the room was dim, with only light shining from a wall of monitors, which helped me identify it as a security room. I could see a corpse in security uniform slumped on what looked like a control panel. He had a large hole in his head, I assumed he committed suicide via self inflicted gunshot.

To my astonishment, I saw an ashtray with cigarette butts. This hinted that the dead security guard smoked and might have a cigarette on him. I frisked his shirt pockets, and I felt something in his shirt pocket. It was a squashed cigarette packet, but the question I asked myself whether there was a cigarette in there. I opened the top and there in one corner was a cigarette. Feeling elated, I yanked out the cigarette and held it in front of my face. Not wanting to waste anymore time looking at the cigarette, I was determined to find a light and satisfy my urge to fill my lungs with smoke and taste nicotine once again.

I found a Bic lighter next to the ashtray. I snatched it and tried to light the cigarette. All what came out of the lighter was sparks. I knew that this lighter was empty and void of lighter fluid. I cursed in my native language, and threw the lighter against the wall.

I proceeded to read a list of patients who have not been discharged from hospital, and there I saw my name. There was my name and a number, which was the number of the locker where my belongings were stored ever since I was checked in. I took the keys from the security guard's belt, and recovered my belongings from the locker. I repossessed my house key and car key, touching my car key triggered a flashback where I turned the key to start my car. I don't know what was important about that flashback, but maybe it explains how I got there. I also recovered my zippo lighter and attempted to light the cigarette I had in my possession. I thumbed down the flint wheel, but all what appeared from the hood was a spurt of sparks, obviously dry of fuel. I cursed, and slammed the base lid shut.

The last thing that I found in the locker was a small piece of paper which read in my native language, „Иди домой." Could this be an order or a clue that something awaited for me back home? I doubt my dad left me this note, he would rather leave me a text message, but unfortunately my phone wasn't one of the items kept in storage. Luckily I could still remember my full address and decided to make my way there, but first I need to get changed into something more appropriate and practical.

I found a stretchy blue, cotton shirt, some dark jeans and a belt to keep them upright. I also found a small rucksack in one of the lockers, it probably belonged to one of the hospital staff, who more than likely became one of those things. Now that I was dressed and felt more equipped, I decided that it was time to escape the hospital and find what was left of my world.

Walking back out into the hallway, I saw a double door burst open and a bright light shone in my face. I covered my eyes with my arm and slowly moved my hand away to catch a glimpse what lay ahead of me. I saw there were a couple of men, unidentifiable and were armed with what looked like automatic rifles.

Then I heard a creak, which I knew was coming from the rifle pointed at me. Sensing danger, I dropped into a crouching position before a flash from the muzzle and ear piercing noise belched. I acrobatically evaded the gunfire and somersaulted to safety around the corner. While I was safe from being exposed to gunfire, I pondered where my acrobatic ability came from. I did recall in the days when I was a keen dancer. I accumulated energy and flexibility, but my dance style was never anything that gymnastic.

I even reflected back to when I picked up the gun, and took out each of those things with one successive shot. I don't even recall the last time I picked up a gun and shot it, in comprehension, this was the first time I picked up a gun and shot it. But the question is how? How could I simply just pick up a gun and expect to hit each target with such incredible accuracy?

When I realized that I just escaped from hostile fire, I focused on the thought that they would pursue and maybe they were here to not only kill those things, but also survivors. I still had that gun on me, but it was empty, which meant I could not use that to defend myself. All I had left to defend myself was the tonfa, but it was no match against those armed with assault rifles.

Before I had much time to hesitate and come up with a strategy how I can counterattack my pursuers, should they turn hostile, I was surprise-attacked by another one of those things. He dived on top of me and I used the tonfa to shield myself against his chomping teeth. Then the top of his head exploded and he became lifeless. I pushed him off of me and lay on my back, as a man with an assault rifle approached me and aimed at me. He hesitated while his comrade approached me from behind and placed his hands on me. He examined whether I have sustained any injuries.

„Is this one friendly or enemy?" echoed a voice from the gas mask.

Hearing this made my heart pound in a panic, hoping that his comrade wouldn't confirm me as enemy.

„Friendly, he's completely clean, no scratch or bite marks," said the comrade, letting out an exhale through mouthpiece of his mask. He sat me up against the wall, and looked me in the face with his gas mask still on.

„Can you hear me, do you speak English?" asked the masked man slowly and articulately.

„I do, I do speak English," I responded with a gentle nod.

The other masked man behind him tore off his mask. He was a young man in his mid 20s, he had thick wavy light brown hair and menacing blue eyes. He asked, „You're not from around here are you?"

„I lived here, but I'm not American if that's what you mean," I confirmed.

„Are you Greek?" asked the unmasked man frowning at me.

„Russian," I answered.

„Oh Russian, but you lived in LA for a long time, am I right?" asked the unmasked man.

„Yeah, but what the hell happened, what were those things?" I asked .

„LA and the whole country, if not the world has gone to hell. Those things are Walkers," answered the unmasked man, surveying his surroundings and keeping his guard up.

„Walkers?" I asked.

„Yeah Walkers, we don't know what else to call those things, they are the walking dead, which is why everyone calls them Walkers," affirmed the unmasked man, swerving his eyes around the area.

Not knowing how to respond or what question to ask, the masked man in front of me stood up, removed his mask and revealed his face. He looked much younger than his companion, he looked my age (maybe slightly older) with short trimmed dark hair and eyebrows and a small nose. It seemed to me this man routinely endeavored to maintain and cultivate his good looks, probably for the attention of flirting.

„The name is Otto, Jake Otto, and this is my brother Troy" introduced the man, pointing to the curly haired man behind him. Jake held out his hand with a smile.

I took his hand and he pulled me up, proving that he was also a strong man. Once I was on my feet, I introduced myself, „Mikhail, Mikhail Romanenko."

After Jake, his brother Troy and his small group of survivors raided the hospital for medical supplies, food and other useful items they could loot, they agreed to take me into town. They told me that I couldn't come with them, mainly because the majority of the group couldn't bear the burden of having another companion, let alone another mouth to feed.

I was sitting in the van with Jake going in my rucksack, which I didn't mind him doing so. He pulled out the photograph of Alicia, whistled and asked, „Who's this babe, someone you know?"

Uncomfortable to answer the question, I tried to be polite and answered, „She's a friend from school, we were really close and I'm trying to find her." Of course that wasn't completely true, not from my memories of Alicia that I regained ever since I came out of the coma.

Jake pulled out the empty gun out of the rucksack, inspected the empty weapon and identified, „SIG Sauer P226, nice gun."

„I took it from a dead security guard," confirmed I, and Jake looked at me suspiciously and curved a smile as if he was about to laugh.

„Got to do what you got to do to survive," bantered Jake.

„Pravda," I agreed.

The van stopped at the edge of town, which was where I would be dropped off. The van door roared as it slid open, and I hopped out with my rucksack and prepared to say farewell to my rescuers.

„Look, about not taking you with us…" sympathized Jake.

„Listen don't worry about it, there are things I need to take care of here in LA," demurred I with a smile.

„Well I hope you find your friend, she's a delicate looking flower," quipped Jake.

„She is, I just hope she's still alive and safe," said I.

„Take care of yourself," said Jake, offering me his hand.

„Hopefully we'll meet again someday," said I, taking Jake's hand and shaking it amicably.

Jake was about to slide the door closed, until I pulled out the cigarette from my pocket.

„Do you have a light?" I asked, Jake looked at me, went into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. A bright yellow flame shot out of the lighter, and I leant forward with the cigarette in my mouth. I inhaled through the filter hearing the tobacco and paper sizzling. I could feel the smoke go down into my lungs. I held it in, moved the cigarette from my lips and slowly exhaled the smoke. My whole body tingled with a pleasant relaxing sensation. All the bad things I could remember and the troubles and worries I was experiencing, were suppressed. I watched the cloud of smoke travel in the air and dissolved into the atmosphere. I started smiling again, I could feel my senses heighten and I appreciated the bright Californian sun that shone down on me.

„Enjoy that cigarette, it maybe your last," wisecracked Jake, closing the door.

I continued to smoke the cigarette as the engine in the van started and drove away. I was in too much of a stupor to wave goodbye to my rescuers, now that I was alone again. I was ready to proceed to find Alicia, and hopefully rescue her family too. I looked at the desolate and isolated looking city, seeing smoke rise up into the sky, obviously representing a city gone to hell.

As I gazed at the city where I once resided, I knew that my quest to find Alicia has only begun.„Hold on Alicia, I'm coming for you," said I, advancing towards the city while enjoying my cigarette.

 **To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3: The Clarks

**Chapter 3: Lost Memories Part 1 (The Clarks)**

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

 **\- Mark Twain**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 15.08.2010**

I made it out of the hospital and back to the city where my home is. Entering the city, I did have doubts that my home and local community was all in one piece, but I didn't care. All I cared was that Alicia and her family were safe, I disregarded all other matters and pressed onwards to Alicia's address.

* * *

After strolling through a derelict part of the city, I finally reached the suburban area where Alicia and I both lived. The suburban area looked just as pretty and green as it was the last time I was there. I couldn't see one resident in sight, maybe they abandoned their homes and fled because of the epidemic. I did see on the road that there was bits of debris, which evinces that there has been some sort of commotion in the area.

I walked down the road to Alicia's without seeing any walker in sight, it was so placid and warm, like a beautiful morning in suburban LA. The whole atmosphere reminded me after everyone was at work and students who lived in the area, returned home. Such a pleasant and nostalgic vibe I was feeling, as I would finally arrive at the road where Alicia's address was. I turned and saw the house, with no car on the driveway. Maybe the Clarks were out and maybe one of them was home. Either way, I had to pursue and find out, I neared the door and suddenly I received a memory when I was here last.

I remember ringing the doorbell and patiently waiting for a response. When the door finally opened, I saw a blonde lady who I recognized as the school counselor, Madison Clark. Of course I hinted that this was Alicia's mum, and by knowing she lives at the same address, she was definitely Alicia's mum.

„Hello," greeted Madison.

„Hi… erm, is Alicia here?" asked I, with my heart pounding in my chest and feeling nervous.

„No… she's out with her boyfriend," answered Madison with a frown on her face.

„Oh," I responded. The word „boyfriend" caused me to feel a pang stab me in the chest. A lump was in my throat, and I swallowed hard to get rid of that lump in my throat. I felt like I could cry, having my hopes dashed that I would have a chance with Alicia.

„Would you like to come in?" asked Madison, looking at me sympathetically.

„No thank you," I responded mournfully, as I turned around and walked away. I felt like I could collapse onto the floor, because my head was spinning. I tried to hide my tears from Madison, as I exerted the energy I could to get out as quickly as possible.

After having a moment of spacing out, I tried ringing the door, but after a while there was no response. I tried the door, and to my surprise, the door was unlocked and I let myself in.

The whole place looked homely and inviting, well furnished and very tidy. The interior appeared to be normal, it didn't seem there were any signs of disturbances and oddities. If the Clarks weren't here, they must have left calmly and in an orderly fashion.

The abandoned home where the Clarks resided, sunk in and calmed my nerves. I begun to dream had I accepted Madison's invitation to come into her home. I saw Madison close the door, while I took off my shoes, which was a Russian custom I always abided by.

Madison asked me to take a seat in the lounge and asked me if I wanted a drink. I was too shy to accept a drink, but I accepted and requested a black tea.

While Madison went into the kitchen, I took the time to look at family photos. I saw pictures of Alicia, looking young and beautiful, just like she was in everyday life. I saw photos of Alicia and her whole family, they looked happy together, unlike the family I wish I had.

Madison returned with a tray and we sat down together, and had a friendly cordial conversation. She asked me question about myself, and I asked questions about her and her family. I did ask questions about Alicia, and she would openly answer them without any qualms or doubts. She would praise Alicia for her achievements in school, and how she had been accepted into college. This made me smile and feel proud for Alicia, intensifying my romantic feelings for her, amazed me what a smart intelligent girl she is.

All of a sudden, the front door opened and I saw Alicia step into the lounge. My heart jumped and pumped hot blood all over my body, I could feel my insides melt like butter.

„Hi mum," greeted Alicia with a gleaming smile across her lips.

„Hi Alicia," greeted Madison.

Alicia just looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes, it took my breath away and I felt butterflies in my stomach.

My eyes were fixed into hers, she curved her impeccable smile and she greeted, „Hello Mikhail."

„Hi… Alicia," I greeted with a stutter in my raspy voice.

„You know each other?" asked Madison.

„We sure do, he's my Russian tutor," responded Alicia.

„Wow, you speak Spanish and are now learning Russian, soon you'll be speaking every language," joked Madison. Alicia's eyes sparkled into mine, and we both smiled, until Madison got onto her feet, „Well I'm going to put dinner on." Before Madison walked into the kitchen, she turned to look at me and offered, „You want to stay round for dinner Mikhail?"

„Sure, that would be nice… thank you," I beamed, showing my upmost appreciation for Madison's offer.

Madison smiled and went into the kitchen to prepare dinner, Alicia took my hand and said, „Come lets go and study."

Alicia led me to her room where we sat down on her bed together. Her room had a comforting aura, with everything in neat order, just what I expect from a good promising student like her. Together we faced each other crosslegged, as I proceeded to teach her my mother-tongue. I enjoyed watching her repeat the words after me, how her mouth made such exquisite shapes, I couldn't help but stare into her mouth. Those wondrous plump full-lips of hers, how I desired to kiss those alluring lips, especially when she squeezed them together. Whoever kissed them I undeniably envied, and wanted to have the same opportunity to have a taste.

The movement of her tongue, how I watched it form and flex into shapes. She would glide words from my language, right over her tongue and out of her mouth.

She eventually asked me what parts of the body were called in Russian, which I responded slowly and openly. Subsequently it got to the individual features on her face, which she wanted to know in my language. After it got to what „mouth" was in Russian, which I replied, „Rot" she then asked what „Kiss" in Russian was. This request to know such a provocative word, shocked me, but in a pleasant way. I responded slowly and articulately, „Potseluy", which she repeated with perfect pronunciation and a seductive smile.

Without any further communication with words, we both looked each other in the eyes, both hinting what was to follow. It became clear to me that Alicia wanted to kiss, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss the girl I love. The thought of kissing Alicia felt like a spider crawling down my throat, finally getting to taste those lips I've dreamed about kissing. How they would taste, and how I would respond during and after this exhilarating moment. This didn't matter, I was not going to waste the opportunity, as I drew my face closer to hers and begun to close my eyes and find her lips.

Of course I was aware the whole time that I was imagining things, and I was kissing thin air with my eyes closed. Still I was in Alicia's bedroom, which helped me construct the fantasy in my head, allowing me to dream and make it feel realistic.

Without thoroughly surveying Alicia's room, which I was tempted to do and feel guilty at the same time, I did so and looked at her dressing table. There stood a large mirror, which I imagine Alicia sits in front of often to apply cosmetics and inspect her looks. There were photos that were attached on the side of the mirror, which were of her and this black man. This black man somehow looked familiar to me, like the one back at the hospital who helped me on my feet and temporarily guided me. I was hit with a streak of jealously when I saw and hinted that this was her boyfriend, how they huddled up together in one of the photos. That moment of jealously was repelled when I saw a picture of him on the right side of the mirror, which I tore off and looked at it closely.

Immediately I identified him as someone I knew, someone whose name I recalled and someone who wronged me. All the hurt and misery this man caused me in past, filled me with inconsolable rage. My blood turned to acid, I clamped my teeth together as hard as I could, and my fist trembled with rage. I growled his name through my teeth, „Matt" then with impulse, I looked up at the ceiling, exploded and yelled, „MAAAAAAAAAAAATT"

 **To be continued...**


	4. Chapter 4: Bitter Sweet Revenge

**Chapter 4: Lost Memories Part 2 (Bitter Sweet Revenge)**

Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.

 **\- Arthur Miller**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 15.08.2010**

Although Alicia and her family weren't home, I haven't yet given up on the search. Despite that I was instructed to go home, I disobeyed and continued the search for Alicia. It didn't matter how long it took, I was prepared to turn the city upside down just to find her or any clues that could lead me to her.

* * *

My face was so close to Alicia's, I was just an inch away from her lips, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. „Alicia… Mikhail, dinner is ready," called a voice, which I identified it as Madison's.

„Guess that kiss is going to have to wait," smiled Alicia.

„Yeah I guess so," I sighed.

Before I got off the bed, I realized my eyes were moist and were stinging, it felt like I had chlorine in my eyes. My nose was stuffy and saliva in my mouth was so thick, I could blow bubbles with it. Then it occurred to me that I had been crying, but mollified it with a happy fantasy, having Alicia comfort me and sharing an intimate moment with her.

I looked at Alicia's dressing table and saw that the photo of Matt was missing, and it wasn't lying at my feet. I got off the bed and walked towards the door, and noticed something eye-catching on the right side of the door. It was a photo, which was stapled to the wall with a knife. This was the knife that Jake gave me before we parted ways, which was a Fairbairn-Sykes fighting knife. The knife was right in the centre of the photo, it was the photo of Matt and I had struck right in the middle of his face with the knife. I don't remember stapling the photo into the wall with a knife, but I sure did feel guilty about causing property damage in Alicia's bedroom. I pulled out the knife, and for some unknown reason, I pocketed the photo.

Why did I curse his name, and what is my connection with him? He was my friend, no… he was my best friend, who betrayed me. What was his betrayal if you may ask? I couldn't quite recoup the whole story, but I know the betrayal was something so callous and traumatic, I could not find it in my heart to forgive him.

I decided to move out, the Clarks weren't at home so it was best to try my luck elsewhere. Upon arriving at the door, I looked back to the dining room and imagined sitting there with the family having dinner with them. Before I sat down at the table I was greeted by my English teacher Travis, who was also going to be joining us for dinner. We shook hands before we sat down at the table and talked, while Alicia and Madison brought the food to the table. Nick would suddenly enter the room and greet me ardently and offered me his hand to do his secret handshake.

When we were all sat at the table before commencing eating, Madison preposed a toast to Alicia's success and to having me as a new friend to the family. This welcoming gesture warmed up my heart and made me smile, a feeling I haven't had in a while since my grandmother was still alive.

After the toast was concluded with the clanging of glasses, I turned my attention back to the door and let myself out.

* * *

Back out in the open I stopped by a river, which contained no water, but a tunnel where water had once flown through. There was also graffiti on the concrete river bank, signifying that gangs hung around there, but that was what aroused and awoke a memory of mine.

I remember Matt and I walking out of the tunnel and were ambushed by a gang of people who I knew from school. They were armed with blunt weapons and embellished a mean expression on their faces, obviously to show that they meant business. The next thing I remember was Matt standing outside the circle I was entrapped in, knowing I was the intended victim. I looked at Matt and he had an expressionless face, which didn't show like he had remorse or regret, but it could mean he was behind this set up. Then in a very calm voice my name was called, which prompted me to turn around and see who it was. Before I could see his face, my flashback ended and I was standing exactly where the event took place.

Before moving on, I tried to recover my memory of what happened exactly and how I survived the encounter. Did I sustain any injuries or was the whole thing called off before an attack could initiate?

The only thing I pondered more on was Matt's involvement and motivation for doing this to me. Was this his idea all along and did he really want to harm his former best friend? One thing I know for certain, he wasn't the one conducting this attack, the voice that called my name was. Who was he, who was this person? I will find out hopefully some day, but all I could think about was why Matt did this to me. The more and more I think about it, the more consumed with rage I became. I decided press further on to allay my rage and hopefully find out if Alicia and her family have retreated into downtown LA.

* * *

Reaching downtown LA, I saw the destruction and other devastation caused by the outbreak that occurred in my absence. I could see that cars were left on the road, completely immobile or even charred and wrecked. I kicked a couple of empty shell casings that lay on the road, as they rung while bouncing on the ground. There were corpses lying on the road, I paid attention and kept my eyes and ears open to ensure that none of them were going to come back to life and attack me.

I did encounter some walkers lurking in the corner, who spotted me and tried to attack me. Thanks to my new friend Jake, he supplied me with 9mm rounds for my Sig Sauer, which I used to put down the walkers with well precise headshots.

One place I stopped was a gas station, which was abandoned and partly looted with unwanted items littered on the floor. I rummaged through the gas station for supplies I might need. After thorough searching I found a pack of cigarettes, still sealed in cellophane. Not only that, but I found a small pocket-sized can of lighter fluid, which I used to refuel my Zippo lighter. Finding both an unopened back of cigarettes and lighter fluid was the sweetest victory I have ever achieved so far on this quest.

Back outside the gas station, I celebrated by lighting a cigarette in the cool fresh air and continuing my journey downtown, in the hopes of finding Alicia or any survivor who might have seen her.

Without aimlessly wandering around the city hoping to find Alicia and her family, I decided to think where they could be located. Using my knowledge and assumption, I thought of Madison and her occupation as a guidance counselor at the school both Alicia and I attended. I decided that it was best to try my luck there.

* * *

Arriving at the school, I could see there was litter on the stairs, indicating the chaos and panic that took place during evacuation. The front doors were open and raised a concern. Maybe it was possible that Madison and her family hadn't taken shelter here, otherwise why haven't they bolted the doors shut? Come to think of it, why aren't the military present to restore order to the chaos that plagued the city? Maybe I was in a quarantine zone, which there were no signs of military personal.

Before I decided to explore the school just to search for any clues, I looked at the bottom of the stairs, which triggered a flashback in my mind. There I saw Alicia sitting on the bottom of the stairs. I could see the look on her face, that beautiful look, which instantly warmed my heart and induced me to smile too.

„I loved your dance," smiled Alicia, twitching a strand of her hair.

„Thank you," I responded, feeling really bashful and unable to lift the radiant smile off my face.

„Has dancing been a hobby all your life?" asked Alicia, slowly curving a smile.

„Well I've always been into acting, but dancing I like too. My grandma insisted I learnt dancing as part of my family's tradition," I explained, squeezing my hands together, feeling nervous.

„To dance like a Russian," remarked Alicia.

„Well I am Russian," I beamed with upmost pride, never have I felt so proud to be Russian.

„I can tell, you have the accent," said Alicia with her eyes sparkling into mine.

„I'm not a true Cossack, but I…"

„Cossack?"

„Yeah Cossacks are…"

„I know who the Cossacks were, they were a group of East-Slavs who formed their own communities and offered themselves as military force to the Russian monarchy."

This small amount of knowledge about the Cossacks thrilled me to the core, and augmented my love for her, knowing how surprisingly intelligent she was. „You know the who the Cossacks were?" I sputtered, how astonished I was to learn how she knows about my country's culture and history.

„Of course I do, women have more intelligence than men."

Unable to find a way to argue with her statement, I nodded and agreed, „You're right, I guess that is true, which is why women are so revered in Russia."

Alicia in response smiled and chuckled through her closed lips. I laughed too hoping to have impressed Alicia with my pro-feministic statement.

„Do you think you could dance for me?" requested Alicia.

This simple request from Alicia made me smile vehemently and I obliged, „Sure."

When I squatted ready to proceed with the dance, the flashback was interrupted with the sound of gun fire and screaming. I looked to my left and saw a man and a women who were running away. The sound of another gunshot echoed and the female crashed to the ground landing directly on her face. Another gunshot emitted and the man was hit in the back of his shoulder, which knocked him to the ground but didn't kill him.

I in response tiptoed silently up the stairs and pressed my back up against the baluster, hoping to avoid detection from those who shot the couple. A vehicle resonated and moved into my view, which was a military humvee. The humvee pulled over and soldiers got out with their automatic rifles. Rather than intervene, I climbed the stairs looking at the wounded man crawling towards the base of the stairs. He looked up at me, stretched out his arm and croaked, „Please… help me."

Before I could do anything else, the man was shot in the back by one of the three soldiers who surrounded him. One of them looked up and saw me standing halfway up the stairs.

„HEY YOU, DON'T YOU FUCKING MOVE!" yelled the soldier in an intimidating voice.

Not wanting to risk the chances of being killed too, I decided to flee into the school. As soon as my back was turned and I leaped up the steps, the soldiers opened full automatic fire. Keeping low and not running in a straight line, I avoided the bullets. I saw bullets impact on the steps I hadn't reached, and they spat out clouds of dust and left tiny neat holes.

I made it to the broad entry of the doors where no bullet had hit me. When I stepped into the shaded area of the entrance and past the door frame, a window on the door exploded, which made me jump. I passed through the metal detectors and in the main hallway, where I could take cover behind a wall and remain hidden from the soldiers who were obviously now hunting me.

„Where did he go?" asked the soldier, which made my heart pound in my chest.

„Ssshhh, do you want him to hear us?" whispered the other soldier.

„Too late, he's probably heard us and is already changed hiding places,"

„Stop it you two, let's do what we came to do and we'll search for him afterwards," ordered the apparent group leader.

Without any objections, I heard the footsteps fade into silence, which made me feel safe for now. Why did the soldiers kill that couple, maybe they were infected and were about to be reanimated into walkers. Understandable that it might have been easier to kill them before they transformed, but it was still callous the way they did it. It would have been more humane if they had a bullet put in the back of their head, but I'm not the one to condone murder even if it was under orders.

I then got the bad feeling that maybe Alicia and her family have been quarantined and have already been terminated. I sure hope that wasn't true, but it might be possible they are dead and incinerated. This hunch was enough to make me feel less concerned about survival, but I knew I had to find out. I need to know if Alicia was still alive, because without her, I have nothing. No, could it be? Could I be suicidal? If I am, I'm not willing to die just yet, I have to press on.

I cautiously and calmly walked down the hall, keeping my ears open and my fully loaded pistol in my hand. Should I encounter those soldiers I would be willing to shoot, maybe I would kill them, but it would be in self defense. I've shot walkers, who were formally human, but I will be shooting living humans with feelings just like me. It would feel rotten to kill them, but I knew from there on it was kill or be killed.

Walking down the quiet dark halls, with only light shining through open doors and windows, was I able to navigate myself around the school. I did eventually come across a trophy cabinet, where I saw a number of trophies displayed for all students to see. I saw a plaque in the form of a shield, which had a gold plated shield in the middle with inscription „Students of the Year". There were small gold plated shields encompassed around the one in the middle. One bared the name „Alicia Clark" and that she won the position for being the best student in Spanish. I even saw Alicia had won another shield for best student in history, this little discovery made me smile and feel proud of Alicia.

I even saw my name on a shield. I was awarded for being the best in English. This made me smile again, feeling proud of myself for being acknowledged as a student of the year.

Then there was another name on a shield that caught my eye. It was for best student in science, which bared the name „Cleo-Patricia Antony". This name rung a bell and triggered a flashback, and I heard my voice play in my head.

„Can I help you?" I asked with an amicable approach.

„Yes, I'm kind of lost," jittered a girl with big round glasses. The girl was black with wiry curly hair tied in a bun with a pretty thick pink hair-bobble. She had beestung lips and a small nose with a small bridge and small button. Her eyes were hazel brown and expressed how nervous she looked. Just by looking into them, I could see how much she was shaking and wanted to break away from me, but didn't.

„What classroom are you in?" I asked.

„A.121,"

„I'll take you there,"

„What's your name?"

„Mikhail… what is yours?"

„Cleo,"

We walked down the hall and passed by this poster on the wall, which had a smart presentable black man smiling. He had a shaved head, neatly trimmed arched eyebrows above dark brown eyes. His nose was straight with a nasolabial fold, which arched from the side of his nostrils and connected to the two commissures of his mouth. He had a wide curvy smile with a row of straight perl-white teeth, which was the most captivating feature on this man's face. Below the poster it bared the text „Vote for Marc Antony, your future is his guarantee". I'm not going to lie, but I was spellbound by his appearance, he was someone you could take seriously and want to vote for, kind of like Vladimir Putin.

Then triggered a flashback where I was at the river and surrounded by those who were armed and brandishing their weapons. All of a sudden, Marc Antony appeared and greeted me with his captivating smile.

„Hello Mikhail," greeted Marc Antony.

Then the flashback flashed back to being in a hallway and looking at the poster.

„That's my brother Marc, Marc Antony. He's campaigning for student body president."

„Hm interesting, he's one jolly looking fellow."

„Are you going to vote in the election?"

I looked at Cleo and answered, „Dа, I think I'll vote for him."

Cleo raised a smile obviously looking pleased, as we continued to walk down the hall. We got to her class where we stopped and prepared to part ways.

„So here we are," I said, with my hands in my pockets and smiling fervently.

„Thank you for helping me," thanked Cleo, looking me in the eyes and sounding less timid.

„You're welcome, maybe we'll see each other around," I said warmly, trying to be as friendly as I can.

„I hope so."

We exchanged smiles and she walked into class while still making eye contact with me and smiling.

I watched her as she closed the door behind her and stood on the other side of the door. Seeing the hall-pass in my hand, I decided to turn around and walk away reflecting on what happened. I did feel good about being generous and helping this timid and shy girl, but by then I still had eyes for Alicia.

The flashback ended as I heard a door creak open. I turned my head and I saw one of the soldiers who spotted me.

„HEY YOU... ASSHOLE… STOP THERE" yelled the soldier raising his gun, „I FOUND HIM, HE'S IN THE HALLWAY."

I dashed down the hallway, evading the gun fire by running diagonally and diving to left when I came to a junction in the hallway. I could hear the sound of footsteps running and I knew I had to find a new hiding place. I found a single windowless door, which I assumed leads to some place dark and would provide a good hiding place. I tried the door handle and to my relief it wasn't locked. Calmly and steadily I closed the door behind me so I didn't slam the door and give away my hiding place.

The room was indeed dark, so dark I could barely see my own feet. I knew I needed some lighting so I could find my way around and hide where it was most shaded. At the side of me I found what looked like a light switch panel, it had small glowing lightbulbs above the assortment of switches. I tried one of them and a huge patch of light shone on what I could see was a stage. I was in the auditorium and I was backstage, which instantly triggered a flashback when I was here last.

I remember it was the night of the school's talent show, and I was backstage with Cleo, as her and I were the last ones to go on stage. Cleo was dressed in a long silk blue dress and had her hair down with small curls. Her performance was going to be her playing the flute, which I knew she was skilled in and even performed for me one time. I do remember giving her confidence even encouraging her to take part in the talent contest, which she eventually agreed and signed up.

Her and I were standing backstage ready to be called out onto the stage.

Cleo was to go on stage before me and was already feeling the nerves and tension. I did soothe her uneasiness by placing my hands on her bare shoulders, and asked her to look into my eyes and listen to my voice. As soon as she looked up and her eyes met with mine, she stopped shaking and smiled. Her eyes lit up and glistened like diamonds, her lips broke apart. There was a flash and the next thing I remember is her moving her face close to mine and I immediately placed my hand on her chest to stop her moving any closer. Then there was another flash of her backing away from me with tears having already ran down her cheek. She then turned and ran away crying, and when she ran out of the backstage exit, her name was called for her to go on stage. I could hear the thundering applause behind me and the sound of whistling. I just looked at the door feeling remorse and regret with what I did or said to make her run away in tears.

When the applause faded and the sounds of mumbling could be heard, I saw the stage manager before me and asked where Cleo was. I told her that she ran off, but didn't give the reason why. The stage manager paced towards the presenter who broke the news to him by whispering in his ear.

The presenter looked shocked upon hearing that one of the acts has absconded, but re-embellished his cheery zealous face and announced, „Unfortunately this act can't be here tonight, so please welcome our last act of the night. With his Russian Cossack dance, please give a round of applause to Mikhail Romanevko."

I stood backstage trying to overcome both nerves and guilt of making Cleo leave in a hurry, but I thought about the fact my grandma was in the audience and would want me to perform and do my best. This was the incentive I needed to help me walk on stage and face the audience as soon as my name was called.

I walked on stage with my heart thumping in my chest and the presenter backing away, allowing me to take the stage. I turned to see my audience and I could see the auditorium was packed full of people, with many faces I knew. I could see my grandma who was waving to me with a huge avid smile on her face.

I could also see Alicia in the audience, which was also something that incited me to go through with my act. Beside her I saw Matt, who was looking rather neutral at me. There was no smile on his face or even a wink for luck, I don't think I saw him clapping as I walked on stage. His look at me was a cold expressionless stare, even his girlfriend Alicia had more expression on her face. It was at least a smile or some expression that meant she was happy to see me, but I don't think Matt was.

Pretending Matt wasn't there and thinking how much I wanted to impress my grandma and Alicia, I stood there wearing my soldier's ceremonial uniform ready to perform. The music started playing, which was a Russian folk tune and I moved my feet to the beat. I listened to each note and moved my feet to make it coincide with the music playing.

When I got further into the song, I started to perform the really arduous parts of my dance, where I had to really concentrate and exert more energy. The audience became more enthusiastic and engaged when I started to squat, kick out my legs in a rhythm and keep my balance.

I then proceeded to become more intricate and daring with my dance moves, I got a reaction from the audience. The audience begun to clap in a slow rhythm as I continued to dance without breaking flow and losing focus.

I finally reached the end of my dance number and held a pose while the audience applauded. I even got a standing ovation and some of the audience even whistled enthusiastically, I was even convinced myself this was the most rhapsodic applause of the entire night.

I then bowed to the audience and walked off the stage to join my grandma and father in the audience. On the way I did look at Alicia and she looked at me. Matt however was still looking at me with a neutral expression, I don't think I saw him clap, even if it was for a polite gesture.

My flashback suddenly ended and I heard the rattling of metal and an angry voice, „DON'T MOVE."

A sharp icicle poked me in the back, shivers went up my spine and my blood froze. „Such a slippy bastard aren't you, thought you could come snooping around here where you're not authorized," chastised the same voice from behind.

„What do you mean not authorized, this is a public place?" I said.

„I'll ask the questions if you don't mind, who are you and what were you doing here?"

I looked ahead to see two soldiers walk on stage and draw their weapons on me. I knew that I was surrounded and at risk of losing my life, but that wasn't my prime concern, my prime concern was how I was going to get out of the situation. Do I reason with the soldiers or should I take action and counter attack them. Unfortunately I didn't have the answers they were looking for so I couldn't talk my way out of it. I had to use force against them. I kill them or they kill me, that would be the expected, but undesirable outcome. It would be risky, but for the sake of seeing Alicia again, that was a risk I was willing to take.

I looked at the two soldiers in front of me, one was clearly shaking and had obviously never pointed a gun at a person, making him a rookie. The other soldier looked for confident and had clearly pointed guns at people before, but I wouldn't underestimate him as someone who isn't capable of cold-blooded murder.

„ANSWER ME, BEFORE I PUT A BULLET IN YOUR SPINE," interrogated the soldier behind me. He did sound like someone who would pull the trigger should I make one wrong move, so I knew he would be my first target. He had all the traits a professional killer needs to simply pull the trigger and liquidate his target, but there was one error he made, he pushed the barrel of his rifle too far against my back. This little implication could imply he was a sadist or too confident, he's somewhat reckless.

Not wanting to waste anymore time and risk a bullet in my back, I launched my daring attack with a plan I had formed in my mind, and the fighting skills that I inexplicably repossessed. I swung the back of my hand to deflect the rifle barrel and spun my body around the right of the barrel, so I was less of a target to the soldier (his ID tag on his uniform identified him as Briggs) who seemed most experienced and would more likely hit me should he pull the trigger, he was my next target.

I got the soldier who held me up at gunpoint in a choke hold and threw the knife at Briggs' head. The blade of the knife didn't strike him in the head, but the handle itself knocked him to the floor and wince in pain.

There was only one soldier left to subdue and that was the rookie (his ID tag read „Williams"). The rookie looked like he was panicking, as he had his mouth wide open and his eyes in a wide stare. He went white as a sheet and was sweating on the forehead, which glistened in the light that shone above him. I knew that he would open fire despite that he will kill his comrade who I have in a choke hold.

Wanting to avoid getting myself and his comrade killed in a haze of bullets, I kicked the calve of the soldier who was in my hold and we both dropped down to our knees. I yanked out the knife from his belt and threw it at the Williams' trigger hand, which made him drop his rifle as it crashed onto the floor and he yelled in pain with the knife sticking out of his hand.

I released the soldier out of my choke hold and slammed him on his back, where I pressed one knee on his throat and the other on the bicep of his right arm. This rendered him powerless and subdued, as I grabbed his rifle and pointed it at the other two soldiers I temporarily stunned. Aiming with both my pistol and the soldier's rifle (with one hand), I waited until they pulled themselves together and were ready to negotiate with me.

„Now it's my turn to ask questions, who are you and why did you shoot those innocent bystanders?" I interrogated with a stern voice.

Briggs looked at me aggressively. A trickle of blood emanated from his forehead and ran down his nose. „None of your business asshole, we have orders to eliminate anyone trespassing in quarantine areas," snarled Briggs.

„Quarantine, you mean there is a virus turning people into these so called walkers?" I asked.

„Yeah, which is why we must eliminate anyone who could be infected."

„Well I can assure you I'm not infected."

„Maybe you don't know it, it will only be a matter of time before you turn into one of those walkers."

Suddenly there was banging on the glass window where the double door exit to the auditorium lay. I could see it was a walker breathing hot air on the glass window, as another one popped up by its side.

Briggs drew his rifle at me, but I could sense his finger was only on the trigger and wasn't in the process of squeezing it. I could see the audacity in his eyes, it seemed he was daring to retaliate and shoot me on the spot. The other soldier Williams dared not pick up his rifle and just looked at me while holding his blooded hand after having taken the knife out.

„Well now is not the time to argue, it's a question of survival. I don't know about you, but I'm willing to use my bullets on the walkers. If you want to waste bullets on me then you do that, but can you really take the chance?" I convinced, pointing my pistol away from the soldiers and at the double doors that were pulsating with the walkers behind them.

Briggs glared his angry teeth at me, but then turned around to face the double doors to aim at the walkers almost about to break in.

„Fuck it, when I kill those walkers, I'm going to kill you," growled Briggs while fixating his eyes at the doors.

„Yeah well that's if you have enough bullets that is," I remarked.

I stood myself up, allowing the soldier (his ID tag identified him as „Ellis") I subdued to get back on his feet. Ellis choked and rubbed his neck as I handed him back his rifle. Williams switched hands and used his good hand to operate the trigger and his other arm to support the rifle and keep it steady. I almost felt bad for what I did to him since he was a rookie, but at that moment it was a desperate situation.

I readied my pistol and joined the soldiers in a straight line, who had their rifles ready and were about to fire.

„Remember, shoot them in the head, they go down quicker," I advised.

„Hey don't tell me what to do. I'm the professional, I know what I'm doing," snapped Briggs.

I chose not to have the last word and accepted his snippy overconfident attitude and focused on keeping myself alive, rather than trying to save those who tried to hunt and kill me.

The doors flung open and the walkers burst in growling and snarling, this was it, my first time fighting an army of walkers. I might not have enough bullets for each one, so I had to hope that the soldiers knew what they were doing.

Come to think of it, they didn't seem like marksmen to me. When they shot at me while I was fleeing into the school, they never took their time and try aiming at me. Guess it's true what they say about Americans and their guns, they shoot enough bullets and hope to hit their target.

The only strategy I could think of was funnel the walkers down the middle aisle where they would make an easy target. Unfortunately Briggs let his ego and aggression get the best of him and fired most his rounds into the torso of a walker, which did make it stagger, but not bring it down.

Ellis did the same thing, but after seeing me shoot each walker with a head shot, he proceeded to copy me.

Williams (the rookie) had difficulty aiming his rifle and shot many strays, despite having switched his rifle on single fire. I did feel responsible and might have made a mistake crippling him, because those rounds would have helped eliminate the entire horde of walkers.

Eventually all three soldiers discarded their rifles and switched to their sidearms and deployed them against the walkers. Knowing I was almost out of ammo too with only four rounds left in my handgun, I could still see a large number of walkers advancing towards us. Seeing no end or dwindling of their numbers, I decided to search for an alternative. I ran backstage and left the soldiers to fire at the walkers with their pistols.

In a dim corner backstage, I saw something big round and metallic, it was a propane tank. This was just what I needed to exact the crushing blow which would decide the outcome of the battle.

As I paced back to the stage with the heavy tank of propane in my hand, I could see the soldiers were struggling to off more of the walkers.

„Shit I'm out of ammo," growled Briggs.

„Me too," fretted Ellis.

Williams was out of ammo too, he lowered his gun and wondered, „What are we going to do now?"

„GET OUT OF THE WAY," I yelled, as they looked behind and saw me with the tank of propane. They dispersed, making room for me to throw the propane tank at the horde of walkers. The tank flew high in the air and travelled in the middle of the horde. Before the propane disappeared in the middle of the crowd, I shot the propane tank and it exploded and all the walkers scattered across the auditorium, draped on the seats and continued to burn.

The fight was over and the aisle leading out of the auditorium was clear. The soldiers were out of ammo and I had three bullets left in my handgun, enough to defend myself should they turn hostile against me.

„Wow you barbecued their asses," astonished Ellis.

„Well we maybe safe, but what do we do about him?" asked Williams.

All the soldiers drew their eyes at me, which made me uncomfortable, but didn't concern me on the account I knew they were out of ammo and were in no position to gun me down.

„He did save our lives, without him we would have been dead meat," reminded Williams.

„Unfortunately orders are orders," frowned Briggs.

Ellis whispered something in his ear, which I could hear and make out as „Cobalt" and „Contingency phase". Briggs swerved his eyes to me and said, „Okay, we wont kill you. Don't tell anyone we saw you, okay?"

„Okay," I responded with a nod.

The soldiers walked off the stage and up the aisle and I shouted, „Hey." The soldiers turned to look at me and I requested, „Could you give me a ride back home?"

The soldiers hesitated, but then Briggs nodded and agreed, „Okay come along."

I smiled and prepared to walk off the stage and walk with them. I did experience a flashback where I heard the presenters voice, who was announcing the winner of the competition. Hearing this made me turn around and look at the stage.

„And the winner of our school's talent competition is…" said the presenter with tension in his voice. He pulled out the name on a card out of the envelope and announced, „Mikhail Romanevko." A roaring ecstatic applause ensued and I saw myself get off my seat next to my grandma.

I marched down the aisle and walked on stage to collect my cheque. The cheque I received after shaking hands with the presenter and receiving his sincere congratulations was worth an amount of $200, which is quite a lot of money compared to what I carry in my wallet.

I gladly accepted the cheque and stood alone on the stage smiling at the crowd. I had my eyes on my grandma who was in tears of joy and wiping her face with a handkerchief. I even looked down at Alicia who had a wide gleaming smile on her face and eyes lighting up like stars. Her boyfriend Matt was clapping but less enthusiastically and had the same apathetic look on his face, I really couldn't tell what was going on in his mind. Was he jealous of me, was he suspicious of me having intentions of moving in on his girl, or was it some argument we had a long time ago which might have caused the rift in our former friendship? I didn't care, he's an asshole anyway.

When I snapped out of my flashback, I noticed the soldiers were out of the auditorium and I was the only one there. I ran out of the doors and just saw the soldiers in the hallway. I tried to catch up to them in case they did decide to ditch me.

* * *

I was out of the school and at the bottom of the stairs where I could see the humvee in sight. The humvee unfortunately had broken down and needed repairs. While the soldiers were fixing it, I received another flashback where I saw Alicia and myself at the bottom of the stairs. I was teaching Alicia how to do the cossack dance. After I gave her a short demonstration and verbal instructions, Alicia had a go.

When Alicia tried to squat and kick out her legs, she tipped over backwards and I wittingly grabbed her before her head hit the floor. „Don't fall don't fall," I panicked, as I cradled Alicia in my arms and was looking into her eyes and she looked in mine. We both remained silent and smiled at each other, I don't know what was going on in her mind, but it looked like she liked me as I liked her too. Maybe this was a sign I do have a chance with her and this was my opportunity to kiss her. Before I could do such thing a loud voice echoed from far away, „ALICIA."

Alicia and I looked and we saw Matt standing in the distance. „Sorry I have to go," said Alicia, getting back on her feet and running to Matt. She did look over her shoulder to smile at me as I returned her a smile.

When she was by Matt's side, I could see Matt looking at me as if he was disgusted and displeased to see me holding his girl in a flirtatious way. I could do nothing but remain calm and watch him walk away with his girl. Feeling the painful strike of jealously in the pit of my stomach, like a hot knife plunged right in there, I pulled out a cigarette while fixing eyes on him. This I hoped would calm me down and feel less compelled to cry.

Just when I was about to light my cigarette, another loud voice boomed in the distance, „HEY." My flashback ended and I still had a cigarette in my mouth and lighter in my hand. I looked at Briggs who was standing next to the driver's side of the humvee. „Do you want that ride or not?" asked Briggs. I ran towards the humvee and got in back with Ellis and Williams and we both drove off.

* * *

On the way I did share my cigarettes with the soldiers. Ellis gladly accepted a cigarette from me, but Williams declined telling me he doesn't smoke. Briggs coldly and bluntly declined my offering of one of my cigarettes, which did hurt me emotionally, but I should know because he never showed any signs of warmth and friendliness towards me.

I did fear that the soldiers would attempt to kill me on the spot with a knife or some other melee weapon, but I think they were too scared to try and attack me, knowing I could overpower them. I did remain on guard and sat opposite Ellis and Williams while Briggs was behind the wheel.

I was surprised that the soldiers didn't ask me questions (despite interrogating me back at the auditorium), the only question I was asked was where I lived and they agreed to drop me there.

I did show them the photo of Alicia and asked if they seen her. Williams openly admitted that he did see Alicia in the same neighborhood, but that was only two days ago. I wondered if the Clarks were still at home or they unsuspectingly fled the area without the soldiers knowing of their absconder.

* * *

The humvee reached the suburban area and I was dropped off on the outskirts of the suburban area. I was told that it's safe and not quarantined. I should be safe and secure without the protection of the military. I bought their comforting words and jumped out of the humvee and waved goodbye to them and thanked them for the lift.

When I walked around the humvee, Briggs called out my name and slapped my shoulder with a clipboard. He told me it was a list of names of those who were alive, deceased or quarantined. I thanked him despite how he handed me the clipboard in an aggressive manner and with a sneering look on his face.

The humvee drove off hurriedly and I was left alone to look at the list and eagerly find out if Alicia or any of her family were still alive. The names were in alphabetical order, so I had to flip a couple of pages to get to the 'C's'. There I saw the surname 'Clark' and was elated and euphoric to know that Alicia was confirmed to be alive and so was her mother, Madison. I did see that Nick had been quarantined, which did depress me a little and feel sorry for a guy who I never met or knew much about.

Out of curiosity I decided to find out if Travis was still alive as I flipped through a lot of pages to see his surname 'Manawa' and it pleased me to know my favorite teacher was alive too.

But what about that asshole, the asshole who used to be my best friend who backstabbed me, the one called 'Matt'. I flipped some more pages and got to the 'S's' and there I found his surname 'Sale' and there beside his surname stood his first name. Scanning my eyes to the right, I saw what I hoped to see and to my delight, he was dead.

I smiled, chuckled and said, „You're dead asshole, Alicia is mine now."

This satisfying piece of information made feel really happy and afresh, I decided it was a good cause to have another cigarette. I got out another cigarette, but before I pulled out my light, I pulled out the photo of Matt.

Not happy to have it in my possession anymore, I got out my small can of lighter fluid and sprayed a little on the top of the photo. I lit the photo and flames shot up on top of the photo, which I used to light my cigarette. I held the photo in front of my face, took a drag of my cigarette and blew smoke in his face while watching it burn.

„Burn in hell asshole," I snarled happily, as I watched the photo burn and his face distort from the flames.

When his face was charred, unrecognizable and started to flake, I dropped the photo at my feet. I then stood on it to put the flames out. Then scraped the photo on the ground as if it was excrement I stood in and wanted clean off the bottom of my shoe.

I made my way back home feeling satisfied that Alicia is alive and that Matt is dead and that I have found some sense of closure and security.

 **To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5: Oblivion

**Chapter 5: Lost Memories Part 3 (Oblivion)**

If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

 **\- Bruce Lee**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 15.08.2010**

Only two words I heard what I assumed to be my rescuers whose job it was to protect people „Cobalt" and „Contingency Plan". These were words that weren't meant for my ears, but little did I know that after brooding in the sanctuary of my home, did I realize what those two words meant.

This was what shattered my faith in humanity and truly made me feel superfluous.

* * *

Finally I arrived home again, the very place I disregarded, despite receiving a note back at hospital that instructed me to go home. Why was I instructed to go home and what could be there? As soon as I opened the door and stepped into my home, I would find out why.

I did call out to my father who I would always remember sitting in the armchair watching TV whenever I came back home from school. It was very rare did I ever come home and there was nothing but dead silence.

The first thing I saw when I took off my shoes and walked farther into the house was a small walkman on the table. Funny little story about my walkman, it was my most treasured possession and I was one of the only people of my generation who still listens to cassette tapes and not CDs, I was so old-school.

I walked to the table and saw a little note which read, „Играть меня" which translates, „Play me" in my native tongue. I placed the earphones into my ears and played the tape which I recalled was in my language.

The next thing I remember was finding myself in the garage looking down at the concrete floor that was smashed to pieces. I saw the instrument which did the damage which was a sledgehammer that lay beside the hole. In the hole there was a metal case sullied with dirt that had been scraped away. I looked at my hands and saw they were dirty, I must have been the one who made that hole and made the discovery.

I impulsively opened up the case and beheld an assortment of weapons, which were embedded in foam. One was an assault rifle which I identified as the the AK-103 and a revolver which I identified as the MP-412 REX. I also found a small handgun which was the Makarov, the perfect compact sidearm. Even today the Russian military use the AK-103, even the Makarov. The MP-412 REX however was a revolver that was banned from being imported into the US, don't ask why it's a long story, something to do with an agreement by Bill Clinton and Boris Yeltsin. Wait, why do I know so much about guns? I never was in the military to accumulate that knowledge. Well I picked up a gun and fired it, never missing my target once, so maybe that was part of the mystery why I have hidden military skills and knowledge.

I removed the two firearms and realized the foam was a layer, there was more contents underneath. I removed the foam layer and saw more military equipment, which I took out one by one to examine.

I took out a MPL-50 which was a short spade, with a sturdy wooden handle and a black broad pentagon blade. The next item was a Kizlyar Alligator Z90 combat knife, which came in a crocodile leather case. I had binoculars which were high tech with long range zoom-in function and had night-vision.

Those were the survival tools I now had in my possession as I would obtain many other items needed for what seemed a long journey. I pulled out a medical kit, which is what every traveller needs. I also had a survival kit, which is a lot to explain regarding its contents, so I'll skip that.

I then pulled out a strange looking device, which looked like a walkie-talkie except it looked complex and very high-tech. There was a button on the side and a keypad on the front underneath a speaker. Above the speaker was a rectangle screen, which I assumed displays a frequency when switched on. There was even a short pointy antenna at top with a small rounded knob on the side.

The last thing I found was an envelop and in the envelope was a key, which looked like a car key. There was also a little note which read, „Заглянуть под одеяло."

I looked in the corner and I saw something rigid that was covered by a large sheet of nylon. I approached it and tore the sheet away.

There I saw a well polished and brand new looking Irbis motorcycle. The motorcycle was black with long broad handles behind a large windshield. Near the handle and fuel tank were dials, which not only showed that it was fully fueled up and ready to go, but also had a compass and a small GPS system. This wasn't an ordinary motorcycle one could walk into a shop and buy, this was a motorcycle designed, built and customized for a secret agent. Very James Bond if you ask me, not that I was a fan of him. Could it be that I'm a secret agent too, only except I was a real secret agent and not like Bond? Was this why I possess fighting skills and have survived tough scrapes to have made it this far?

One thing I did question myself was, who put the equipment there and who is allocating me these missions? Was it the same person who placed the photo of Alicia by my bedside table? Most importantly, what was the purpose of my mission? All I recall from the tape I listened to was where I was suppose to go. My destination was to head to Baja California in Mexico, where I would receive further instructions.

If there was one mission I cared about it was to find Alicia, but maybe by some small chance she was part of the mission. I sure hope so, because I would more than likely disobey orders even though there were consequences which could cost me my life. Alicia first, the mission second.

It was decided that I would start traveling first thing tomorrow after trying the Clarks again, hoping they would be home. Before then I got the motorcycle ready and packed some of the equipment in the thick leather pouches and the small compartment underneath the seat. I made sure I had enough food to last me for 24 hours, not that I worried about food, I cared more about how many cigarettes I had.

After I had packed up almost everything I need for this long journey, I went to the bathroom to pack my toothbrush and other toiletries . As I threw them in my small wash-bag, I looked into the mirror and noticed I had bandages on my face. I'm surprised I never got comment from the soldiers when I met them eye to eye. I even forgot I was seeing out of one eye the whole time, because a patch covered my right eye.

I decided to slowly remove the bandages and patches from my face, hoping that I haven't sustained much scarification. As I tore away the patch that was attached to my cheek, my greatest worry and suspicion was confirmed. Not only was my right cheek partly healed but horribly burnt. My right cheek was furrow and rugged, kind of like Freddy Krueger. However, that wasn't what shocked me the most, I sustained a laceration. The laceration was in the form of a crescent moon, in other words, I had a permanent smile on my face. The only exception was I wasn't smiling on both sides.

I panicked as I desperately tore off the small rounded patch that covered my eye. Once the patch was removed from my eye I was abhorred to see how bright red it was. The iris and pupil were intact, but the sclera showed broken blood vessels almost like I had pink-eye. I briefly closed my left eye and I could see I was colorblind in my right eye. The colors I could identify out of my left eye were different in comparison when I only looked out of my right eye.

Knowing I was slightly visually impaired in one eye was only the least of my concerns, the biggest concern I had was that half of my face was disfigured. I'm hideous, I'm a freak, how would Alicia react if she saw me like this?

Before I decided to try my luck at the Clarks again, hoping they would be back home, I decided to make myself a black tea and have a cigarette. If the Clarks were at home when I arrive, I would escape the city with them and suggest they flee with me to Mexico.

While I sat at the table with a black tea and puffing away a cigarette, I brooded over a series of bad memories that kept intruding their way into my subconscious. These were mainly memories of my father and how abusive he was towards me. You might be wondering why I didn't immediately look for his name on the list, well it was because his safety was the least of my concern.

Where I sat I could see the lounge and the armchair where he used to sit and watch the TV while drinking half a bottle of vodka, I'm very sure he emptied a bottle of vodka in a day one time. Sometimes he would walk through the front door and I was sat at the table. Whenever our eyes met, he always stared at me with cold piercing eyes and displayed a cruel mouth.

Looking at the front door I could imagine him standing there and throwing a pack of cigarettes at me, not underarm so I could catch them, but rather overarm as if he wanted to assault me. That's right, he threw a fresh pack of cigarettes at me as if it were a rock. Of course I could feel the packet hit me hard against my head, but one time which is a pain I can still feel is when the corner of the cardboard packet him me in the eye. Thinking about it made my eye water and inclined to cry after hearing his hurtful verbal attack on me before he disappeared into the kitchen.

But why did he keep buying me cigarettes and hurling abuse at me, in fact you must be wondering why I started smoking?

I did learn the dangers of smoking and how much it can damage your health, but some point in my teens did I take up smoking. I can't remember when I tried my first cigarette, but I knew I smoked them when I started to feel emotional pain, mainly after I found out Alicia started dating Matt. It wasn't just the jealously I was trying to insulate against, but also the loss of a friend, I really missed having Matt as a friend. I was reduced to being a loner and secluded myself in a private space in school where I could smoke without being caught.

My father caught me smoking one time and wasn't shocked, he disapproved and told me not to tell my grandma that I smoke. This was before he started being abusive, before then, he was more like a big brother to me than a father. You could say he wasn't supportive and expected me to do everything around the house and cook my own food. He was ashamed I lived a pipe dream and didn't want to occupy myself with something more productive or academic.

So why did he start becoming more abusive, it was after my grandma died did he become abusive. My memory of my grandma dying hurt me so much I started to shed tears while I replayed the memory in my head on the night it happened.

When I came out the auditorium with my grandma ecstatic with pride for my victory of winning the talent show and my father tagging nonchalantly along, Travis stopped us in the hallway and asked to speak to my grandma and father alone, which they agreed to. I was asked to wait outside which I agreed to.

The next thing I remember is lighting a cigarette after I saw Alicia and Matt walk off and hearing a voice behind me. It was the voice of my father who was with my grandma. My grandma had the look of shock on her face when she saw me with a lit cigarette in my mouth. She collapsed to the floor and my father dropped to his knees to cradle her. He yelled at me to call an ambulance which I believe I did so.

Then I remember being at the hospital in the waiting room. I was sat down with my father sitting away from me, refusing to say anything to me because he was shaking with fear and panic. The doctor approached us and shook his head mournfully, meaning it was bad news and my grandma was pronounced dead. My father immediately broke down and fell on his knees crying his eyes out. I did try comforting him by putting my arm around him, but he aggressively pushed me away and told me it was all my fault. From that moment on, I consciously blamed myself for my grandma's death.

When we got home, my father slammed a pack of cigarettes he confiscated from me on the table and said words I would never forget „Кури, пока не умрешь".

The rest of the week I was racked and consumed with guilt, I couldn't focus on my studies and I went days without food. I was really starting to go through a self destructive phase and so was my father. I increased my nicotine intake while he increased his alcoholic intake.

As my father became more and more dependent on alcohol, the abuse towards me became more frequent. I remember him being drunk and violently staggering towards the table glaring at me with stone cold eyes. He asked if I was finished with my cigarette, without a response he would grab the open packet and forced me to have another.

I snapped myself out of that painful memory and tried to think of more pleasant memories when my grandma was still alive. My grandma was like a mother figure to me, my mother died when I was really young, which is why I have vague memories about her. I remembered how I worked with my father in tidying up the house preparing for her arrival when she would cook us dinner. Only when my grandma was present was my father a little nice to me. When she wasn't around he was usually just sat on the armchair watching TV and idly wasting the whole day away.

While dreaming more pleasant and happy memories, I saw that the cigarette in my hand had burnt out, and ash had fallen on the table. I don't think I took one drag of that cigarette. I noticed how much time had gone by as I drank cold black tea and saw it was dark outside.

I got up and walked to the window where I could see the front garden and the houses on the opposite side. I could see the street lamps were on and illuminated the neighborhood orange. Surely the Clarks must be home, maybe it was time to go and check, but first I'll have a cigarette for the road.

I yanked out a cigarette, put it in my mouth and proceeded to light it, but not before a disturbance occurred which hindered me doing so.

The disturbance was the roaring of what I identified was a plane flying above my head. I disregarded the noise and tried to thumb the flint wheel, but before fire could emit from my lighter, I saw fire crash onto the ground from outside. It was fire, but it wasn't the fire that would burn out after a mere few seconds, it burned bright and yellow and flickered in the middle of the road. I knew that it was napalm and it was being dispersed from the sky.

Then the sound of more planes flying over could be heard and napalm from other places outside came crashing down. One of them hit the house on the opposite side and its residents came screaming outside.

I immediately assumed we were under attack or something, but not from walkers. I ran to the table to grab my revolver and the high tech communication device flicked into life. The small screen lit bright green and a voice played through the speakers.

„Hello come in, can anyone hear me?" toned what sounded like an American accent which sounded familiar. „Come in, my name is Madison Clark… the whole city is Burning, get out of there!" warned Madison.

Hearing that name stimulated a feeling in my chest, the same feeling of elation I had when I won the talent show. I knew that Madison was alive, but the question was where and was she with her family? I looked on the screen and it gave away her exact location, which was a location I was familiar with. This was it, it's time to get moving and meet up with the Clarks.

I darted to the garage and opened up the garage shutter, only to be greeted to the burning chaos outside and the horrific screams of my neighbors.

When I was sat on my motorbike ready to ride off and catch up with the Clarks, I could see my neighbors panicking and franticly jumping in their cars. Some of those cars got hit with napalm and they skidded off the road and crashed, one of them even flipped over. I could see one person crawl out from his car through a broken window. I could not identify the person, because the napalm had caused so much mutilation, the person collapsed and died while making it halfway out.

I did see one man push the car to get it moving, but unfortunately a wad of napalm fell on him. He screamed in agony and staggered while on fire. I could see he was suffering and how quickly the napalm was melting his skin away. I decided to do the right thing and put him out of his misery, I took out my excessive heavy revolver and shot it with one hand. The sound popped my ears and the recoil jolted my hand upward and the burning man fell to ground with a flurry of sparks floating up to the sky, while he continued to burn.

I started the engine and rode out of my garage and onto the streets that were littered with napalm. I could see cars on the road, but unfortunately some lost control and collided with other cars or crashed off the road. Knowing that this wasn't a time to stop and help others who were trying to escape with their lives. I continued to ride down the tumultuous road.

I got out of the suburban area and continued to ride south of the city where Madison and supposedly her family were located. While I was out in the more quiet areas of the city where there were no cars on the road, the dark streets would be alight with napalm raining from the night sky. The sky turned orange and buildings started lighting up like Christmas trees, I'm sure I saw one of the buildings collapse and spit out a cloud of dust. The cloud of dust nearly caused me to swerve my bike off the road, but I maintained my balance.

The whole situation was terrifying, but kind of exciting at the same time. It was like being in an action film, except this was real life. The napalm did benefit me trying to find my way out of the city and get closer to my destination, because it provided me with lighting since the street lights were out of commission.

* * *

Eventually I made it to where it was really quiet and no napalm or buildings were in sight. I stopped the motorcycle and looked behind me, only to be greeted with a burning city. The whole city was on fire, creating an orange yellow haze in the night sky. Planes still continued to fly over the city and drop bombs which flashed and caused more blazes to add to the inferno of the once populated and lively city.

I did take time to reflect and feel sentimental about losing my home and the unfortunate souls who didn't make it out. I knew it was time to move on. I was relieved and thrilled to know that I made it, I was out of danger and was safe for now. I wont be needing a cigarette for a while, I breathed in enough smoke to get all the smoke I needed.

What mattered to me more than anything and why I endeavored to escape the city, were the Clarks still here and nearby? I checked the GPS on my motorcycle and saw that I was slightly off track, must have been because of the adrenaline and focused purely on surviving did I lose track.

I saw I was on the road and not far from where Madison's last known location was, I was next to the beach and standing on top of a cliff.

I ran to the railing where I could see a cliffside villa that was on fire and flecks of napalm lighting the beach. The beach was strewn with corpses which I assumed to be walkers that have been incapacitated. I could see three people in the distance, one of them was blonde. I got out my night vision binoculars and saw Madison, Travis and a teenage boy with dark hair whose name I knew as Chris who was Travis' son. I saw him climb into a Zodiac inflatable boat with live walkers pursuing them.

The Zodiac was operated by someone who I identified as Nick Clark, Alicia's brother. I followed the boat and saw it attacked by a walker who emerged out of the walker. The crew were able to fend off the walker by administering the propeller to its face. I then watched the Zodiac travel to a bigger boat which was a yacht.

I did see see someone on the swimming deck, he was a short built middle age man with a small trimmed beard, he kind of looks Hispanic judging by his overall appearance. He was holding a long barreled 12 gauge shotgun while waiting for the arrival of the Zodiac. Looking behind him I saw the name of the ship, it read in neat thin letters „Abigail".

When the Zodiac reached the swimming deck and the crew climbed out, I saw someone else waiting for the arrival of the Zodiac. This spectacle aroused the sensation in my chest, which convinced me I had a heart beating in there. She was young beautiful and familiar, those full lips and exquisite expressional eyes of hers. It was her, the main reason I am here and why I made it so far to escape the inferno which could have become my grave.

I whispered her name with burning passion which warmed my heart and rekindled my hope, „Alicia, it's you, it's really you."

 **To be continued…**


	6. Chapter 6: Jack Kipling

**Chapter 6: Have You Seen This Girl? (Jack)**

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

 **\- Buddha**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 16.08.2010**

Having escaped the destruction of my home, I was homeless and alone. However, I hadn't lost everything. I still had a mission or missions if I must say so. Despite I had a mission I was allocated to carry out, my real mission was to rescue Alicia and her family.

Little did I know was that Alicia would be meeting other people on the way.

* * *

Sitting in the shade under a tree in the tranquility and solitary of Cleveland National Forest, I reflected on the journey I made so far. I had to make many detours to avoid the ongoing continuous bombing from the sky. Large cities and neighboring suburbs were being obliterated with napalm, my guess was to incinerate the walkers, but I knew that innocent people would have succumbed to the horrible burning death of napalm. I couldn't get those horrific scenes that replayed in my head, seeing my community panic and try to escape with their lives. I would never forget the sight of someone being hit with napalm, being stripped of flesh from the bone and becoming nothing but a charred skeleton. I had sleepless nights and was unable to sleep and eat properly because of it.

Other than trying to make peace with myself against those nightmarish scenarios, I found the retreat into the forest as the perfect place to isolate and rejuvenate myself, before moving on.

* * *

One day after fleeing Los Angeles and discovered that Alicia and her family were on a boat named „Abigail", I was able to hack into the system and pinpoint its location. This was security to help me put my mind at ease and know that Alicia and her family were safe.

I even hacked into their communications and listened to a conversation between two people, except one person I would be familiar with. It was Alicia, yes it was her, I was so happy to hear her voice again. But who was the other guy with whom she was talking to? He did reveal his name as 'Jack', he sounded as if he was the same age as Alicia, which was why their radio conversation got more friendly and open. I did record these conversations by connecting the device with my walkman and using a blank tape. I would listen to these recordings as a sleeping aid, which did help.

Who is this Jack exactly? From what I heard in the conversations he had with Alicia, he did reveal that he was adrift and needed help, which Alicia was more than willing to help him. Affirming Alicia to be caring and concerned for others safety caused me to silently praise her for wanting to help Jack, despite not knowing him well. Alicia really is so trusting, but maybe too trusting, maybe this could be a bad thing.

Sadly there wasn't much I could do, she and her family were at sea and I was stuck on land. I could try and find a boat, but that would involve having to go into an urban area and hope there's a boat ported. Before I go into an urban area, it would be best to wait until nighttime bombings ceased and it was safe to reenter cities. Even if I did try my luck there, many boats would have been taken and already have set sail into the unknown.

All I could do was keep track of the Abigail and wait until it was harbored, then I could try and approach Alicia. You might be wondering why I couldn't try and communicate to Alicia via my communications device? This was because I didn't want to put her in danger by getting involved so soon. Her family must have an elaborate plan and a destination where they were certain they would be safe from any danger. It was better to leave them to their plan and just follow them until they reach land. As long as they kept sailing, they were going to be safe, and that was the way I wanted it to stay for now.

* * *

The boat one time did port on an island known as Catrina Island, which prompted me to use the time to explore the area around me. I even decided to stop by small abandoned communities to stock up on supplies. I found food, camping equipment and even cigarettes, just what I always hoped to find when I went scavenging.

When I got back I saw the boat was still ported at Catrina Island and judging by the sun going down, I made the assumption that the Clarks were safe and would spend the night on the island. I still hoped they were safe and they met friendly people there, but I hoped that they wouldn't stay there, because I was going to get to Alicia one way or another. I calmed that paranoia listening to her conversations with Jack. I had a cigarette and a black tea while listening to their conversations on tape.

* * *

The next day the Abigail set sail and destining past San Diego, I hope they realized that the city had been bombed and it wasn't the ideal place to take shelter. I assumed that they would more likely resort to Mexico as an alternative destination, which I was prepared to follow them there.

The Abigail did anchor near the desert coast and stayed there until sundown, I decided that maybe it was best to get some sleep and travel to the Mexican border the following day. Thanks to the portable tent, the sleeping bag and listening to Alicia's voice before bed, I slept like a baby for the first time in the wilderness.

* * *

I woke up afresh, had breakfast, packed up my things and rode off towards the Mexican border hoping to find another place to camp. I subsequently reached the Otay Open Space Preserve, which was the perfect place to set up camp and remain isolated and safe from any danger.

Again I searched near the outskirts of Chula Vista for any supplies. One of them would be fuel for my motorcycle and cigarettes of course, I could never do without enough cigarettes, they were light as feathers and never were too much baggage.

* * *

After another good night sleep, I woke up feeling afresh and optimistic. I had a nice outdoor camp nutritious and hearty breakfast. The first real cooked breakfast I had ever since my retreat, which was just what I needed to give me the energy to continue the journey and find Alicia.

While eating the tiny morsels on my plate and checking the GPS, I noticed the Abigail was anchored near the Mexican border, what could be wrong? Maybe they were having breakfast too and stopped in case they got sea sick. I chose to believe in the possibility that there was nothing wrong and they were having breakfast too.

* * *

When I finished having breakfast and spent most of my time checking the GPS, I noticed that the Abigail hadn't moved at all and had been in the same position since last night. This alarmed me and caused me to panic, I remained sat in front of my communications device and hoped to hear any incoming transmissions.

* * *

After waiting for what seemed like a couple of hours and having a few cigarettes to pass the time, I received an incoming transmission between Madison and some other stranger, whose name I learnt was Connor. I listened carefully and attentively to the conversation, which turned out to be a prisoner exchange. They had Connor's brother called 'Reed' and were going to exchange him for Travis and Alicia. Hearing the name Alicia surged me with gallant and bravado, I felt like a knight ready to jump on his horse and rescue the captured princess.

I intercepted Connor's whereabouts and programmed the location on my GPS, it wasn't far from my location, it was at the docks at Imperial Beach in Chula Vista.

Too much in a hurry, I assembled my equipment, but decided to abandon the camping equipment because I was in too much of a hurry. I jumped on my motorcycle and road chivalrously towards my destination, hoping I would reach Alicia in time.

* * *

I reached the docks, feeling my throat and stomach burning from all the exertion and audacious driving it took to make it there. The docks were abnormally quiet and seagulls were circling over the area making a repetitive caw. I surveyed the area with my AK ready, prepared to use it against any hostiles, but was prepared to encounter any friendlies if there were any.

I was tempted to shout out Alicia's name, but that would be a bad idea in case I attract the attention of a walker or human who turns out to be hostile.

I did look up and see a young man on top of the stern of a big boat I came across. He was wearing a dark brown hoodie, he had dark hair with a little bun tied at the back. He was sat with his arms folded, resting on his bent knees and had his face in his folded arms. It looked like he was weeping, but what was he weeping about? I decided to approach him with caution.

I climbed the ship and walked slowly and calmly behind him and asked soothly, „Hey, are you okay?" The young man jumped with fright and turned his face towards me. He raised his thick dark eyebrows and I noticed he had a cut on the side of his left eye. His eyes widened when he saw I was armed or if it was my disfigured face. He crawled backwards looking scared.

„Hey it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you… I come in peace," I said, as I offered him my hand to help him onto his feet. He didn't take my hand, instead he got himself on his feet and looked at me nervously.

„Who are you?" asked the young man.

„Mikhail, and you are?"

„Jack," mumbled the young man.

Hearing that name and confirming my suspicion when I heard his voice, I knew it was the same Jack who spoke to Alicia.

„Jack, okay Jack. Are you alone here?"

Jack just shook his head as it seemed he was unwilling to talk openly, so I got right to the point and pulled out the photo of Alicia and presented it to him.

„Have you seen this girl?" I asked. The look on Jack's face haunted him, his jaw dropped, his lips trembled and he took a step back.

„No," responded Jack.

„Are you sure, you haven't seen her around? Her name is Alicia she is…." I said, but before I could finish, Jack's eyes started to water and he ran away and into the cabin. „Jack wait up," I yelled and decided to pursue him.

I opened the door Jack ran through and noticed I was in the control room with still functioning equipment. There I saw Jack, still looking teary-eyed and intimidated by my approach and maybe my visage.

„Jack…" I said, slowly walking towards him hoping to get his cooperation. „Please, I need your help."

„Look man, I don't know her… you're asking the wrong person," jittered Jack, taking small steps back with his hands behind as if he was looking for something.

„I know you know her," I said firmly, holding out my walkman, „I have this."

I pushed the play button and the recorded conversation played through the speakers of my walkman. Jack listened to the conversation and did look intimidated, knowing he could not deny it and that he was the same Jack who spoke to Alicia.

Jack pulled away gasping, eyes twitching and trying to hold the tears in his eyes. I immediately felt bad for intimidating him and understood his pain, he too had developed feelings for Alicia. I found myself relating to Jack and having sympathy for him, I figured it was best to try and calm him down and get him to cooperate.

I pulled out my cigarettes, placed one in my mouth, looked at Jack and asked, „Do you smoke Jack?"

„Yeah," responded Jack pulling out a cigarette.

I lit his cigarette and I lit mine and then we engaged in conversation. I started by asking questions about him and I would tell him a little bit about myself. I decided to not involve Alicia until he looked comfortable doing so.

„So what is your connection to Alicia?" asked Jack.

I took a quick drag of my cigarette, exhaled the smoke in one long hiss and answered, „Well I'm not her boyfriend if that's what you were thinking. No, she's someone I knew at school. We weren't close friends, mainly because I barely had the courage to approach her, something I regret even till this day."

Jack nodded, took a drag and humbly reacted, „Yeah, I understand."

I turned my head to look at Jack looking sorrowfully at the ground and asked, „You have feelings for her don't you?"

„Yeah, you too don't you?"

„Yeah, but I don't know if she feels the same about me, I mean look at me," I manifested my disfigured face, „Do you think she could love this face." putting the joke on myself hoping to make Jack laugh which did provoke him to smile.

„I just wanted to protect her," mourned Jack.

„Yeah, I'm not pursuing her just in the hopes of winning her heart, I just want to make sure she's safe."

„Me too."

I took a quick drag of my cigarette and walked closer to Jack and persuaded, „Jack listen. I was not going to torture you to give me answers, but if you really care about Alicia's safety, you will at least tell me the last time you saw her. So please Jack, be a friend and tell me… we can both help save her."

Jack took a long drag on his cigarette, looked at the wall before confessing to me, „Okay, here's the truth. I did see Alicia, she was here. My group and I raid other ships, guess you could call us pirates. We did raid Alicia's ship and we took her here where we hoped to initiate her into our crew. Her family came and I begged her to stay, but she chose to be with them."

I saw the emotion on Jack's face and in his words, especially when he got to the end about Alicia's departure. I allowed him to take another long drag of his cigarette before I had another word to say to him.

„Thank you Jack, thank you for being honest with me. I can understand how hurt you are and how much she meant to you."

„I wanted to redeem myself, for the mistake I made with my ex girlfriend," mourned Jack, taking the last drag of his cigarette before throwing it across the room aggressively. „Well to be exact, she's deceased and it was partly my fault."

„What happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to or if it's too painful for you."

„She wanted me to come with her, right after the walker outbreak happened. I would have done, but unfortunately there was no room in the car. I trusted her family and convinced her to trust them and just go with them. She agreed and fled with them, but later on I discovered them and… they were both dead."

„That's okay… you don't need to give me anymore details."

„I know, I don't know Alicia well, you probably know her more than me. I just loved the sound of her voice and when our eyes met for the first time, I was stunned with how beautiful she was."

I could see the look on Jack's face and how it turned from maudlin to cheerful. This new demeanor of Jack made me smile too and we both thought of something positive, which convinced us that the world and life wasn't grey and somber as we thought it was.

„What I did wrong with my ex-girlfriend I wanted to do right with Alicia. Never again would I leave her side, I would always be there with her and stick with her until there was peace once again, then we could begin a new life."

I smiled and nodded at Jack's optimism, him and I both fantasize a romance with Alicia and hope to be her savior, her knight in shining armor. I looked at my cigarette and saw it was half burned out. Not wanting to waste any more of the precious scarce tobacco I had left, I took a drag of the cigarette.

Just as I inhaled the smoke into my lungs, I saw a dark haired woman walk into the room. She was tanned which made me assume she's hispanic. Her dark brown eyes were firmly pointed at me like muzzles of two pistols and her lips were tightly sealed. I disregarded this as the face of a possible hostile when I looked down and saw she had a baby-bump. Coming to the conclusion she was pregnant and I was tasting nicotine in my mouth, I felt guilty and concerned for her condition and the baby she was carrying.

„Oh I'm sorry," I apologized and manifested the unfinished cigarette „I'll put it out." I stumped out the cigarette as I saw her approach me with the same scornful look on her face.

She took smaller steps towards and then whipped out her arm with a pistol in her hand. This made my heart skip a beat and I humored her by showing her my hands.

„Whoah easy there don't shoot, I'm not your enemy," I placated.

„Vida, put down the gun… this man is not our enemy," pleaded Jack.

„Connor doesn't like uninvited guests," reminded Vida.

„Who's Connor?" I asked

„He's our leader, I'm aware he gets a little jumpy if there's an intruder, but I'm sure we can work things out here," assured Jack.

I slowly walked to Vida with my arm out and spoke slowly and calmly, „Vida come on you don't want to do this, just put down the gun and we'll talk." Vida didn't show any signs that she was going to be reasoned with, she still maintained her cold demeanor and begun to tighten her finger around the trigger. „Vida please, I don't want to hurt a pregnant woman," I further begged, but this only caused her eyes to open wider and swallow, I realized my mistake that I might have aggravated the situation.

Aware that she might pull the trigger and that would cost me my life, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to let anything hold me back from seeing Alicia even if it meant taking some fatal risks. I could hear the inside of the gun function and hear the spring pull back knowing that the firing pin was going to hit the cartridge inside.

I pounced like a cat towards its prey and grabbed her wrist with the pistol in and I used my other arm to press my forearm against her throat. The gun didn't go off luckily and was pointed up in the air so no one would get hit. Vida slightly opened her mouth and started to choke and I slammed her hand against the door frame and claimed the pistol.

I released her and stepped back, allowing her to recover and catch her breath. „Now I didn't want to do that, but you left me with no choice," I said sympathetically as I emptied out the pistol.

Then I sensed a slight breeze on the back of my head which prompted me to around to see another female. She let out an angry vicious yell and tried to bring down what looked like a long blunt instrument on my head. I avoided the lethal blow by stepping aide and used the opportunity to grab her from behind and get her into a choke hold.

„Drop it," I ordered sternly, implementing pressure on her supple neck.

She immediately dropped the heavy metallic object onto the floor and I removed my arm from her throat and pushed her forward towards Vida. I could have taken out a firearm to better control the situation, but I didn't want to appear too aggressive towards them.

The woman who I just subdued and disarmed turned to face me and was a young Asian woman, with thick fluffy dark hair, dark trimmed eyebrows and a small chin.

„Okay now I have your attention and cooperation I would like to ask you what your name is?" I asked looking directly at the Asian woman who was choking and looking right back at me.

„Alex," identified the Asian with a hoarse voice.

„Alex… okay, well Alex I'm sorry I had to do that, but I can assure you I'm not your enemy. I'm a friend. My name is Mikhail and I'm here for a reason." I took out the photo of Alicia and walked towards her. „Have you seen the girl in the photograph?"

„Yeah, she and her crew came to rescue me and my friend, but we were double crossed and were set adrift," divulged Alex.

This news shocked me and helped me understand Alex's bitterness and distrust towards strangers. „I'm sorry to hear that Alex, but trust me… I'm willing to help you and everyone else, but I'm hoping you could give me clear information about Alicia."

„Unfortunately I don't know Alicia personally. All I know was that she was here but she's gone now." Alex stood up straight and looked me in the eye and said, „You would have to talk to Connor."

„Where can I find this Connor?"

Suddenly the loud clicking and piercing resonating sound emitted from outside and a voice boomed from a megaphone, „Connor we know your in there, come out and give yourself up… there's no way out, you are surrounded."

The loud voice shrilling through the megaphone hurt my ears and made me feel queasy. I looked out of the window and saw there was an army of humans who were armed with automatic rifles, I even saw the man with a megaphone in his hand who I assumed is the leader.

„COME AND GET HIM SUCKERS," yelled a voice from outside and then the commencing of gunfire broke out.

„EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" I yelled as everybody including myself dropped to the floor and the windows above shattered and rained crystalized glass on the floor.

„Is everybody okay?" I asked and looked at Jack unscathed, but I saw Vida on the floor with Alex and looking in pain. I ran up to her while crouched and asked, „Vida what's wrong, are you hit?"

„No, I'm in labour," anguished Vida.

„We need to get her out of here," fretted Alex.

„Yeah we do… Jack do you know where a bedroom is?"

„Come, I'll show you." Jack led the way with Alex carrying Vida as I provided protection along the way.

We made it to a spacious and luxurious bedroom, assuming it to be Connor's sleeping quarters. Vida was laid to rest on the bed with Alex volunteering to deliver her baby. While Alex tended to Vida screaming in agony and sweating profusely, I contemplated how I was going to survive and save everyone.

It was quite clear that Vida was going to draw attention should the attackers intrude their way into the ship. This would have to be the first time I would be forced to kill someone, not out of mercy, but for defense purposes.

„Hey Jack, have you ever killed anyone?" I asked Jack

„No."

„Good, neither have I," I pulled out the Sig Sauer P226 and handed it to Jack „Looks like this will be our first time."

I ran back into the control room and could still hear the sound of gun fire as I cautiously approached the recently shattered window. I took out my binoculars and started observing the fight outside. There was shooting from both sides and corpses from both sides, it was clear this was a fight between Connor's men and his rivals, but it was obvious Connor's men were outnumbered and would lose the fight.

„Jack, what is the biggest room closest to the sleeping quarters?"

„The cargo room."

„Good, I need you to block all alternative routes, we need to funnel them into the cargo room and take them out."

„Sounds like a plan."

„Connor's men outside will buy us time, but I don't know how long they will hold out for… we'll have to be quick."

Jack proceeded his task of sealing the doors and even boobytrap them, I just hope he doesn't forget the ones he rigged with boobytraps. I did provide him protection, but unfortunately he was on his own once the intruders were lured into the cargo area.

I opened up the entrance of the cargo room which led outside and peeked to see that a small group of armed men was outside. I blindly shot my Makarov, uncertain whether I hit anyone or not. It was mainly to get their attention and follow me inside the cargo room where I plan to surprise attack them.

„OVER HERE," yelled one of them and the sound of running footsteps could be heard.

I got myself into position by clinging onto some chains that hung on the ceiling while I glanced at Jack on top of the stairs. I gave him a thumbs up, signaling that it was his turn to implement his part of the strategy.

I paid attention to the open door and saw three armed men run in and Jack fired his pistol at them, not hitting a single hostile. I'm not sure whether that was intentional or he was a bad shot. He quickly ran out the open door leading to the sleeping quarters and shut the door behind him. More armed men ran in and I counted, there were about 15 men in room. I assumed this was all of them, but I could not be certain. At least this would be a significant number of them, which would diminish the threat should I successfully take them all out. Now knowing that it was now or never, I dropped myself down to unleash my attack.

I landed on top of the hostile below me and he collapsed to the floor, he felt like a cardboard box I crushed below my feet. This caused the others to turn and look at me in surprise. I knew this wasn't a time to hesitate, it was a time to act. If I wanted to see Alicia again, I had to get past these obstacles, and if I should kill any of them… so be it.

Quick as whip I exacted the first attack that came to mind on the first enemy I had in my sights. I deflected his weapon away from me and administered a palm to the face, it knocked him out and I was ready to take on another opponent. The whole encounter was exhilarating I couldn't control myself and stop moving my body or had time to hesitate. It brought back the memory when I went on stage to perform my act for the talent show. I was crowded by men who would kill me should I not fight, and I wasn't going to stop until each of them was incapacitated. No music to guide me or signify when it was over, just adrenaline and the will to carry on.

I couldn't recall the moves I made, but they were quick, sharp and devastating, it only took one to two hits until they were on the ground and completely immobile. Some shots were fired, but I was so hyped I didn't know where those shots hit, but for certain, I wasn't at the receiving end of them.

The fighting did cease when I could breathe freely again and all hostiles lay on the floor, uncertain whether they were alive or dead. I saw blood, I saw teeth scattered on the floor and I saw some bodies twitch.

This triggered a flashback when I was back in L.A. and I was lured into a trap surrounded by men of my age and armed with melee weapons. I remember seeing them laying on the floor crippled, but obviously alive only to have sustained massive injuries. I even saw their leader Marc Antony nursing a dislocated shoulder and looking at me. He was snarling through his gritted teeth and burning his eyes into mine, showing no signs of surrender or passiveness. I looked behind me and saw Matt looking bewildered but also shocked. He was turning pale and he was sweating from his forehead, he looked like he was about to run away and escape retribution from me.

The flashback ended and I saw someone looking at me on the stairs. He intended to sneak past me, but I caught him. He was black and looked almost like Matt, if not identical. This induced my inconsolable anger and compelled me to chase him and vent out my anger on him.

He ran up the stairs whimpering, and I ran on the stairs. In order to catch up to him, I jumped onto the rail and launched myself to the safety rail where the hostile had his face to door. I grabbed him from behind and kicked the wall with my arms grasped around him as we both fell over the safety rail.

We both hit the ground with his body hitting the ground first. The impact did hurt me and temporarily paralyzed me, I should have known that was a stupid thing to do. I could have just taken him out on the stairs, but no, I had to be too confident. Guess the Bourne Identity got it wrong when Jason Bourne used the corpse as a crash mat, I knew for certain I would be dead or severely injured should I drop from that height even if I had a corpse to help break my fall. Yeah, never again, don't get cocky if you want to live long enough to see Alicia.

I slowly and painfully tried to get myself back on my feet, but I was halted with the muzzle of an assault rifle pointed at me and a battered man glaring at me. It was him, it was the man with the megaphone, he must be the leader.

„Don't move asshole, it's all over, I've won," grinned the man, as I willingly put up my hands and laid on the floor. „Now tell me, where is Connor?"

Looking into the man's bloodshot eyes, I also saw the approaching walker behind him. The walker was a 40 year old stocky man with a full beard, it looks like he recently turned.

Unsure if the walker was Connor or not, I pointed to the walker behind the man and said, „Behind you."

The man didn't take me seriously, assuming I was trying to make him fall for the oldest trick in the book. He growled at me and prepared to pull the trigger until the walker grabbed him behind and bit into the side of his neck with blood seeping out and the man screaming in agony.

I picked myself back onto my feet, took out my high calibre revolver, and with one aligned shot I took out both the leader and the walker. The leader's head exploded like a watermelon hit with a sledgehammer, but the walker behind him only had the top of his head obliterated. His brains spilled out, it looked like something from a Tromaville film; no wonder why they don't make films like that anymore because of how realistic the gore looked.

Safe from anymore danger, I took out a cigarette but was interrupted by Jack when he showed up at the doorway.

„Is it safe… are they gone?" asked Jack, looking down at the presumably dead bodies strewn over the place.

„I think so," I assumed.

„Well come up, Vida has given birth."

Jack disappeared, hoping I would follow. I took the cigarette out of my mouth, considering the baby's health and followed upstairs.

I saw Vida holding her new born baby in her arms, which was wrapped in a blanket and had its eyes closed. Vida looked radiantly happy looking down at her baby and expressing the love a mother would bestow for her new born child. I shared the happiness and letting this gracious moment sink in before I knew that it was time to move on.

* * *

Jack disarmed the traps and helped Alex gather supplies, while I scouted outside for any remaining hostiles. The last thing I would want for the baby to experience was the terrifying sound of gunfire, no baby should endure that, it needs peace and quiet; and lullabies.

I helped load the supplies into one of the land rovers which belonged to the intruders and I refueled my motorcycle with fuel from one of the land rovers. It was almost time to separate and move on, but not before saying goodbye to a new friend.

„Mikhail.. listen about before," said Jack with contrition in his voice.

„You mean Alicia?" I asked.

„Yeah… it's just… if you see her, please give her a message,"

„Sure, what is it?"

„You can keep my knife, I hope it will protect you."

„Okay, I'll tell her that."

„Much appreciated."

„Look Jack, I can give you a ride, but I can't guarantee your safety. I hope you can understand that."

„It's no problem, better we go our own separate ways, we have a bigger chance of surviving that way."

„And finding Alicia?"

„Of course," laughed Jack as I laughed too.

„All I know is the Abigail is in Baja California, better start searching there."

„You're going there too?"

„Of course, I just hope one of us reaches Alicia. Her safety should be our prime concern."

„Agreed."

Jack approached me to give me his hand, which I accepted graciously. We looked each other firmly in the eyes, solidifying our respect and goodwill.

„Good luck," I wished Jack sincerely.

„Same to you," smiled Jack.

„Do svidaniya," said Jack with a cheesy Russian pronunciation.

„Do svidaniya," I responded with a smile.

I watched Jack climb into his own land rover, choosing to go his own way like me. Alex and Vida took a land rover, obviously choosing to stick together as a duo, or trio if I'm to count the baby that Vida held securely in her harms while Alex took the wheel.

I let them go ahead of me and I waved them farewell as I watched them disappear into the distance. Looking up at the orange sky and setting sun, I knew it was time to make a move and find somewhere to sleep for the night. I started my engine and rode off to catch the setting sun that slowly descended on the horizon.

* * *

I road my motorcycle down the lonely road, when it got so dark I had no choice but to put my headlights on. Having discarded my camping gear ruled out the option of camping out in the desert, so I had to find somewhere which could provide me shelter and get me through the night. Unfortunately all I could see was desolate wasteland and not a building or even a tree in sight, I had no other alternative but to press on.

After feeling my eyelids become heavy and almost falling off the motorcycle as a result of tiredness, I saw lights in the distance. The closer I got I could see the what looked like small buildings bedecked with lights.

I even saw a sign which read „Motel" and „Cafe". I knew it, I had reached my sanctuary, it almost felt too good to be true. I should find this hospitable and comforting moment unnerving, because it looked like it was live and that there would be human activity there. Either way it was worth checking out, I just hoped its inhabitants would prove to be friendly.

I arrived at the driveway and parked my bike next to the cafe, which still had the lights on, but no people could be seen through the clear windows. Feeling hungry and hoping that the first person inside will offer me food and subsequently shelter, I left my AK and revolver behind, but kept my Makarov on me as I went inside.

I walked into the brightly lit, but empty cafe. I could see there was half eaten food on the table. Touching the food with my finger, I noticed it was still warm and I noticed other tables had food on them. This was strange, food was served but was still warm, people must have been here recently. Because I was hungry I ate the food while it was fresh and edible. This act of cheekiness and disrespect made me feel like I was Goldilocks from Goldilocks and the three bears, luckily the bears weren't home.

I called out hoping someone would hear me and come out to talk to me, but I got no response. Having a full stomach from snacking on the half eaten food on the tables, I decided that I would try one of the motel rooms hoping I could get a bed for the night.

I turned to face the way out when suddenly I saw a familiar face right in front of me. He was black, with short curly hair and buzz cut on the sides. His nostrils flared as he bared his wide smile with straight white teeth gleaming and expressing his smugness. It was Matt, Matt Sale.

„Hello Mikhail, did you miss me?"

Suddenly something heavy struck me on the top of the head, it caused all the blood to rush up to my head and drag me to the floor. I landed sideways and my vision faded and went black. I did open up my eyes temporarily and saw a pair of feet and heard a voice order, „Take him away."

I heard the sound of my feet dragging across sand and something strong grip around both my arms as it dragged me to somewhere dark and quiet, and before I knew it, I passed out.

 **To be continued…**


	7. Chapter 7: Qaletaqa Walker

**Chapter 7: Have You Seen This Girl? (Qaletaqa Walker)**

Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one that gets burned.

 **\- Buddha**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 17.08.2010**

Spending my days in captivity and being subjected to abuse and interrogation gave me a chance to reflect on my life and find out who I really was. My tormentors were only getting the message across that they were the ones in control and I was the one living under their roof. Eventually as days went by, I begun to see my captors as something more, people who could offer me salvation and enlightenment.

* * *

I woke up with a splitting headache, it reminded me of the time I drank my father's vodka without consent and got myself so drunk, I became paralytic. Slowly as I picked myself up onto my hands and knees, I felt nauseous and something sour ran up my throat. I choked and wheezed and spat out bile and chunks of vomit.

I found myself in a small room with nothing but an empty metal bucket. Looking around the room I noticed a broad solid metal door and behind me radiated sunlight from a rectangle window with bars. It was obvious that I was locked in a cell and I didn't know what the reason was other than intruding.

Who locked me up and was that really Matt I saw with my own eyes? No that can't be Matt, he's dead, I read the list which confirms it. I was eager to know what type of people my captors were, they gave me a bucket so it must mean they still want me alive.

Out of nowhere I heard music. It started with a sequence of loud clashes and then there were lyrics accompanied by tingling and a banjo line. The lyrics I could never get out of my head were „We're on easy street, and it feels so sweet ‚cause the world is ‚bout a treat when you're on easy street". I will admit that the song was catchy and it did brighten my mood, wasn't my type of music but I couldn't help but like it.

Unexpectedly while the song continued to play, the lock from the door clicked and creaked open. I saw a man who was tanned, had jet-black hair and a mean unwelcoming expression on his face when he looked at me with beady eyes. He was armed and had a tray of food below his feet, he slid the tray towards me with his foot and then he kicked a bottle of water towards me like a football. It felt really demeaning to be offered food like that, but I mustn't forget I was their captive so I couldn't expect the best treatment.

The door slammed shut and was locked, leaving me to look at the food on the tray. I grabbed the bottle of water and could see the bubbles and how wet the bottle felt as a result of it being kicked. There was no cutlery, I had to eat the food with my hands. The food was a mix sweetcorn, rice and bean sprouts and I had what looked like naan bread. The food was unseasoned and rather bland, but I didn't care, it was food. At least it was certain that they did want me alive, for now at least.

I did spend hours in the cell without anything much to entertain me other than peek out the barred window. The view was just desert with some patches of grass and a cactus in sight. The view did get tedious after a while and if I was lucky, the monotony would be broken by the sight of a tumble weed that bounced by. I even looked at the light beam that shone from out of the window and see the dust particles that slowly travelled down to the floor, it looked like a tractor beam from a UFO, which I did find amusing to look at.

* * *

When it got dark I sat alone having to listen to the chirping of crickets, which made it hard to sleep. The only lighting I would get is the moonlight, which did create a beautiful pale light and turned the sand outside blue. Unfortunately it wasn't like that the following night, where I would just sit in pitch black and hear the annoying sound of crickets.

* * *

I wasn't fed routinely, I got really hungry and craved for more food. I never was really a big eater back in L.A. before this walker outbreak, but being in humid conditions and drinking water did I feel my appetite increase. Whenever I did get a meal which was once a day, I would hear that song again, maybe it was used as an alarm clock to wake me up in case I was sleeping. I was still given food in the same cold and coarse manner and the server wouldn't exchange a word and slammed the door shut.

Not only was it my malnourishment that tormented me, but also my nicotine withdrawal, I was already starting to feel the symptoms. I felt hot, too hot to wear a shirt because I was sweating profusely. I had trouble breathing and trying to sleep despite I was feeling exhausted and worn out.

When I did sleep and wake up the next days, my eyes were watery and they burned, it felt like I had pink eye. I was itching all over and I still had pounding headaches. I was extremely hungry and was staring at the door hoping it was going to open and I would receive my meal of the day.

I heard the song again and I felt a moment of elation because I knew I was going to get food. The door did open and the same obnoxious looking man came in, kicked the used tray out and kicked in a new one with food on towards me.

Rather than just start eating right away, I asked him for a cigarette. At first my request was calm and submissive, but after not receiving any response and just looked at with the same cold beady eyes, I started to get agitated. I yelled at him and demanded a cigarette, even getting up and trying to attack him, only to be stopped with another man pointing an automatic rifle at me. The man turned around, placed his hand on my face and pushed me to the ground. When I recovered I ran towards the door which just closed in my face and I hammered my fists violently on the door and persisted for a cigarette. I kept banging on the door and screaming, but eventually I cried and gave up.

For the remainder of the day I started to be consumed with rage and resented my captors. I would come up with ideas how I could get revenge on them, maybe not escape but think of ways to assault them. Spitting at them would be too easy so I thought of something more malicious, I could hurl my used bucket at them that would be something for me to laugh at. As much as it was the best retaliation I could come up with, I thought about the risk of them retaliating, which could make the situation worse.

The next time the song played and the door opened, I remained calm and just allowed the man to do his job serving me food and leaving, without a smile or any sign of compassion. I ate my food ravenously and sipped water just to help overcome my withdrawal symptoms of not having a cigarette for days.

I started doing exercises and training my body so I eventually become strong enough and use the opportunity to escape should my server and the other guards lose discipline and get reckless. Only a matter of time before something happens, they wanted me alive for a reason and I was going to find out why. Just got to keep sane and keep alive until then, do it for yourself, do it for Alicia.

* * *

The song which I started to call „Easy Street" (don't know the name of the title) played and I heard a voice yell from outside, „TURN THAT OFF, I'm sick of that song!" After the song abruptly stopped the door opened and there I saw a different man walk in with my food. He had the same facial expression on his face, cold, attentive and stern. He was tanned just like the man behind him, with dark hair tied back in a ponytail. On closer inspection this man was Native American (I never labelled them as Indians) and looked like the chief judging from his stature and pose. He was well built with broad shoulders and looked rather intimidating when his face met mine. His bottom lip was thin but his upper lip was arched, and above them were lines which joined from each side of his nose. His dark eyes looked down at me to express his cold approach as he took small steps closer.

I did nothing but sit still and tried to remain calm and be cooperative as I looked up at the chief holding a tray of food.

„Are you hungry?" asked the chief with his calm smooth voice.

„Yes," I responded earnestly.

„Good, because I saw you eat like a pig when you got here. I'm less inclined to serve you food for such disgusting table manners."

„Listen I'm sorry. I came here and helped myself to food, I assumed no one was here so…"

„Listen?… You are in no position to make demands or behave the way you did to my men. The only one who will be asking questions here will be me. My question is, who sent you?"

I looked up at the chief and took my time to answer, pondering whether it was a mistake and I should have answered sooner.

„No one, I came here and needed a place to stay," I responded and hoped the chief would be satisfied with the information I gave him.

The chief walked to the bucket and looked down into it. „I see you've been using your bucket, good boy, now answer my question and this time I want the truth. If you don't answer, you'll be eating your food out of the bucket. Do we understand one another?"

„Yes.. I understand you," I nodded, trying to show passiveness.

„Good, now… who sent you?"

„I'm on a mission, I don't know the name or the organization that sent me. I received orders with explicit instructions on tape. I can assure you that I didn't come here to spy on you or cause any trouble."

The chief remained silent and fixed his eyes on me, but after a while he slowly nodded and I took it as a sign he was satisfied. He dropped the tray which landed flat on the floor with the food still on and dropped a bottle of water beside me.

„Eat up… we'll talk later," ordered the chief, as he walked out the door and closed it behind him. I dived for the food and got it down my neck as quickly as I could.

* * *

After eating, the door opened and I stood up, but was ordered to sit down by the goon who came in with a rope. Behind me I could see there was another goon with an automatic rifle pointed at me, he didn't blink once, obviously well trained and disciplined.

With my feet tied (leaving a small length of rope so I could walk) and my hands firmly tied, I was grabbed under the arm and violently dragged onto my feet.

I was dragged under the arm accompanied by another goon who had a pistol pointed at my head. Scrutinizing my surroundings and the goons with each move they made, I contemplated how I would counterattack and escape, but decided it was better not to. I had no idea what was outside and whether all exits were blocked and I would be greeted with automatics ready to pepper me with bullets.

Dismissing the idea of counterattacking and daring an escape, I allowed myself to be dragged into a room I was familiar with. I was in the diner, which was empty, other than one guy who sat at a table looking at me with menacing piercing dark eyes. It was him, this was the man I assumed was the chief of an alleged Native American tribe.

I was pushed down onto the seat opposite the chief who continued to stare at me like a hawk and was ready to begin what I assumed would be an interrogation process. Feeling browbeaten by the chief's look of scorn and surrounded by his goons, I acted passive, implementing my acting abilities and try to remain friendly, cooperative and calm as I can.

„Enjoyed your meal?" asked the chief callously.

I took my time to answer and smiled, „Yeah I did."

„Good, because now we want some answers from you and we want the truth and nothing but the truth, do you understand the situation and the seriousness this is?"

I nodded humbly and answered, „Yes I understand."

„Good," responded the chief curtly. He pulled out what looked like my walkman from underneath the table. „Is this yours?"

„Yes (refraining to saying „yes" in my language) it is mine."

„I had a listen to it and it's in a language that I don't understand, but maybe you'll understand. You understand the language don't you?"

„I do indeed."

„Good," said the chief, still looking at me with his cold staring eyes, „Because you're going to translate every word on this tape. If you as so much as hesitate and give us one mistranslation, we will take your scalp." The chief leaned closer towards my face and sneered, „Is that clear?"

My heart pounded and I felt really scared, I couldn't help but swallow and tremble. „Yes chief, you've made yourself clear?"

The chief leant back and softly said, „Good" he then turned his head slightly to the left and nodded. Then all of a sudden I felt something tight grip my hair I could feel the roots of my hair being tugged. What was even more painful was the unexpected sharp jab in my neck, it felt like a thin cold icicle pierce into my supple neck.

„What did you inject you with?" I wheezed and struggled to breathe.

„First of all you don't ask the questions… I do, and second, this is to make sure you're telling the truth," explained the chief. My vision started to go blurry and acute to the sunshine that reflected on the table. „Now that I have your full cooperation and understanding, we can begin," announced the chief, with his voice becoming softer in tone, I could barely hear him. The chief held up the walkman with his thumb on the play button. „Now translate," ordered the chief, thumbing down the play button and slamming it sideways on the table.

I fixed my eyes on the transparent window on the walkman and watched the cassette wheels turn. I listened attentively to the audio that was about to play and got ready to translate the best I could. My mouth felt dry and numb, I was worried in case I mispronounced or unable to pronounce the words.

The audio played (rather clearly and audibly) in my native tongue and I spoke accordingly as each word from the cassette reached my ears. I pushed the air out of my lungs and moved the rigid tongue in my mouth, hoping it wouldn't encumber my ability to speak my second language. Feeling the tension and effects from the drug that was injected into my system, I'm sure I struggled to keep up and find the best translation I could deliver. I could even hear my voice echo which did make it hard to hear the audio, so I tried to keep focus and listen to the words I had to translate.

I recall translating where my next destination would be, Tijuana, which was Baja California in Mexico near the border. There I would be resupplied and authorized a camera, which I would use to take pictures and place beacons.

The audio stopped and the wheels kept turning until they subsequently stopped, a whirling sound emitted and the play-button popped upwards to level with the other buttons. The chief took the walkman off the table and nodded with satisfaction.

„He told the truth, give this man a drink," commanded the chief, looking at the goon who stood beside me. An open bottle was forced onto my lips and I tilted my head back to let the water run down my throat. After that first swig of water I felt the drug wear off and I felt my normal sober self.

„That's enough for now, get a goodnight sleep and we'll talk in the morning," said the chief, raising a light gentle smile. It pleased me to see he was satisfied and maybe would ensure I get better treatment as their prisoner.

I was pulled onto my feet and before I could be dragged back to my cell I requested, „May I have a cigarette?"

„What?" frowned the chief with suspicion.

„Please, I really would like a cigarette," I pleaded, feeling a tear roll down my eye.

„Okay, give this man a cigarette, he earned it," granted the chief remorselessly.

„Thank you," I responded gratefully.

* * *

I was lead back to my cell where the door opened and I was pushed in. One of goons cut the bonds and as he walked out, the other goon threw a cigarette at me followed by a lighter. The lighter however was thrown hard against the wall, I swear it could have popped like a firecracker should the impact have been hard enough.

I allowed the door to close and I frantically tried to grab the cigarette that lay on the floor as if it was a gold nugget. My hands trembled as a result of having my blood circulation cut off from having my hands tied so tightly. I dropped the cigarette many times before finally being able to pick it up and put it in my mouth. Ochen horosho, now all I needed was a light.

I looked at the bright red Bic lighter, which lay bright as a ruby in the sunlight. I crawled towards the lighter and grabbed it, then I stood up and longingly tried to light my cigarette. Before I could thumb the flint wheels I was interrupted by a voice beside me.

„Hey that's a filthy habit," toned the voice of someone I was familiar with. I turned around and there I saw Matt who was smiling mischievously at me. „Hi Mikhail, what's up bro?"

That smug smile on Matt's face I grew to hate, filled me with such blinding rage. The rage and tension built up in my body at an accelerated rate, I could not help myself but dive towards him. I was eager to get my hands on him and subject him to such brutality, he would be nothing but a bloody pulp. All I did was slam into a wall.

„Whoah bro take it easy, is that really how you greet your best friend?"

„Save it, you're no friend of mine asshole," I snarled with anger.

„Come on don't be that way, lets sit down and talk."

I swung my fist at him but all I hit was thin air and not that enjoyable crack of bone I had the pleasure of hearing when I punched someone.

„Mikhail come on stop, don't do this to yourself," placated Matt.

I launched another punch at Matt but all I hit was a solid concrete wall. Matt suddenly disappeared and no longer had his back to the wall, all I saw was a dab of my own blood on the wall. It was like Matt had the ability to teleport as he evaded each devastating blow which would have finished him.

„Shit Mikhail, your hand looks really bad, maybe you should…"

I ignored Matt's friendly medical advice and charged towards him, but all I did was slam my face into a wall. I felt dazed and my vision was a blur when I turned to see Matt still looking at me.

„Mikhail stop, you'll hurt yourself."

I disregarded Matt's further attempts to soothe my anger. I still saw red, but I didn't know if it was blood in my eyes. Whatever it was I was still determined to land one successful hit and I still had strength in my body to exert myself on Matt.

„Toro toro toro," taunted Matt holding a small sheet of cloth (not sure where he got it from and whether it was red or not) as I ran towards it and hit the wall, but luckily I had my hands to save me.

I collapsed to the floor feeling really tired and weak, it seemed I used all my strength just on one person whom I could not hit. After panting and wheezing I got myself on my feet and walked towards Matt who was standing in the middle of the room, expecting me to attack again. Before I got close enough to Matt, my legs already felt like jello and I couldn't keep myself on my feet. I staggered backwards against the wall and collapsed. I was sweating all over, it was extremely hot and it felt like I was baking in an oven. I could barely open my eyes because the sweat that ran down my forehead leaked into my eyes and stung them. I could barely breath and had the urge to throw up, but I was able to control my breathing to hinder me doing so.

I wiped the sweat from my eyes with my forehead and could see again. No longer was I seeing red, everything in the room was its own color. I couldn't get myself back onto my feet even if I wanted to, I had no choice but to rest and reflect on what just happened.

„Had enough yet?" asked Matt, who sat close beside me.

My neck felt stiff as I turned my head to look at Matt looking as friendly as he did when he tried to reason with me.

„Matt… it can't be you… you're dead… I saw your name on the list," I wheezed, closing my eyes and dropping my head to the ground.

„That's a cold thing to say. Technically I'm dead, but I'm here aren't I?"

I didn't answer Matt's question I looked away from him, still feeling really cold towards him.

„You want some gum?" asked Matt, handing me a packet of gum. I unresponsively pulled out the cigarette and put it in my mouth. „Or you would still prefer a cigarette," huffed Matt.

I tried to use the lighter, but unfortunately there was a crack down the middle, which caused some of the lighter fluid to leak out. I tried in vain to get a light, but all I got was sparks.

„Give it here," scoffed Matt, snatching the lighter out of my hand. I just sat there with an unlit cigarette dangling in my mouth, too exhausted to do or care about anything. I did hear some scraping sounds, which was Matt doing whatever with the lighter. Then without warning a long scrape against the wall with the sound of something sizzling then a bright yellow light appeared in front of my face. It touched the end of the cigarette and sizzled the tobacco. I inhaled and felt the strong intoxicating smoke warm up my lungs, after holding it in and closing my eyes, I slowly exhaled the smoke through my pouted lips and felt satisfied and serene.

„Now what do you say?" asked Matt in a stipulating manner.

„Thank you," I responded, feeling happy again.

„Now that you have your cigarette, guess we can start talking like friends again."

„I guess so."

„Why don't we talk about Alicia?"

That name struck a pang in my heart, fearing that I was going to have to be open to this mental apparition of Matt. As much as I was still angry at Matt for his past betrayal, I was willing to humor him.

I took a long drag of my cigarette, exhaled before conceding, „Da, let's talk about Alicia."

„She's a beautiful isn't she?" asked Matt.

I felt intimidated by Matt's agitative question, so I took a shorter drag to slow my accelerating heart-rate. „Da, she is."

„So it's true isn't it, you were trying to move in on my girl?"

„Move in on your girl? She came to me, we just talked."

„Just talked?"

„I taught her how to dance, we had fun together… it was nothing."

„Nothing? I saw you tried to kiss her and you would have went ahead with it if I hadn't intervened."

„Well it happened, what can I say?"

„You have the hots for her don't you?"

Almost refusing to say another word to Matt and answer anymore of his interrogative questions, I took another drag and confessed, „Da, I do. Happy now? I admit it, I'm jealous. Da, call me what you want: a jealous douche, a crying pussy or even an asshole. I don't care. I'm still human at the end of the day."

„Well Mikhail don't you think that…"

„Enough of the questions, I think it's time I started asking you a question. Why did you set me up by luring me into an ambush? I think that's even worse than stealing anyone's girlfriend."

„Mikhail… I'm sure you don't have to be a genius to come up with a motive."

„Hmm maybe you wanted to get back at me for trying to kiss Alicia, was that it?"

„Well I was unhappy, but it wasn't what I wanted."

„So getting your friends (did the finger gesture where I bend two fingers) to attack me with lead pipes or baseball-bats was what you wanted. How could you possibly hurt me more?"

„Mikhail," assuaged Matt, placing his hand on my knee, „I know what I did was wrong, but you can't carry a grudge with you… that's bad for you, just like cigarettes."

„Oh stop nagging about cigarettes, I just smoke them okay."

„It's cool homes, you choose to smoke and give yourself cancer, but as a friend; hoping it's not too late to save our friendship. Look my point is, we've all done something in the past we've regretted. We've hurt people intentionally or unintentionally, but must we condemn them for it? Same thing can apply to us, should we be condemned and forever damned just for something in the past we wish we could undo?"

I took one last drag and threw the empty butt into the bucket and thought about Matt's statement. His statement was profound and did have a valid point, and also awoke a certain lesson my grandma taught me about forgiving others and not exacting revenge on them. My grandma was religious and raised me to be an Orthodox Christian like she was. I was intrigued by all the stories, singing and prestigiousness of going to church and feeling like I was part of a group. We all tried to make our voices heard and reach out to the one we call „God". It's been a long time since I last read the bible, maybe that was something missing from my life, the teachings of Jesus Christ and the love of God.

The door opened and the same guard who usually brought me food came in with a tray of food with a pillow and rolled up blanket under his arm. He looked at me with a less scornful face, showing more empathy for me. He placed the tray of food down gently and threw the pillow and rolled up blanket into the corner. Without saying a word, he walked out and closed the door behind.

I looked at the tray of food and was served the same as last time, the only thing that was different was that a cigarette was placed on the tray. I knew that my days of suffering from abuse from my captors was coming to an end and I would be treated more humanely.

„Mm that looks good Mikhail, you don't mind if I have a little bit of…" Matt pinched a little bit of my food, tasted it and reacted rather unimpressed. „I wouldn't serve this on death row, anyway got to go and don't forget, Jesus loves you."

Matt disappeared and was no where to be sighted. I ate my food and looked at the cigarette and pondered whether I should smoke it now or before bed?

* * *

Sleeping well with a pillow and blanket offered to me, I woke up only to be served breakfast, I hoped this would mean I would get served three meals a day and not now and then.

After eating a light nutritious and non-monotonous breakfast, I was approached by guards who bounded me and escorted me for interrogation.

The goons weren't as rough with me as last time. They gently sat me down opposite the chief at one of the tables. The chief had a hot drink prepared for me, which I thanked him for and knew there was a chance I could earn his respect and convince him to let me go.

The chief pulled out a walkie-talkie device from under the table and asked me if it was mine. I admitted frankly that it was mine and I told him what it does and how it works. Then came what I would consider my favorite part of the interrogation. A flat square object was slapped on the table and pushed towards me, I glanced at the object and it turned out to be my favorite possession, it was the photo of Alicia.

„Do you know this person?" asked the chief inquisitively.

„Yes I do, she is the main reason why I embarked on a long journey," I disclosed very openly with an ardent smile on my face.

„Is she your sister, friend or sweetheart?" asked the chief.

I shook my head and answered, „No, she's not family or my sweetheart, she's someone I knew at school. I would do anything to be reunited with again."

„You love her don't you?"

„Yeah I do, with all my heart, but I'm not sure if she loves me back."

The chief didn't say anything, he just gently nodded his head.

„I know that you are the one who asks questions, but is it okay if I ask you a question?" I asked, fearing I would get a negative response.

There was a silent hush that filled the room and the chief's lips snapped open, but then resealed. He nodded his head and consented, „Okay, go ahead."

„Have you by any chance seen her? Her name is Alicia, did she by any chance stop by here?"

The chief shook his head and responded, „No."

„I see," I said, feeling a little disappointed that the chief couldn't give me any leads to find Alicia. Maybe Jack has beaten me to Alicia and will become her new lover, even if that was true or not I wasn't going to give up finding her, I need to persuade the chief to let me go.

„Come, we are going outside, I have more to show you and more questions to ask," ordered the chief, getting off his seat and leading the way outside.

I was pushed outside by two goons and was blinded by the ray of sun that struck me in the eyes, I haven't seen the sun this bright even since I've been in a cell for days. I was guided like a blind man to where the chief was standing, next to a table with objects neatly placed. My eyes adjusted and I could see what was on the table, it was my weapons and other equipment.

„Is this yours?" asked the chief sternly.

„Yes this is all mine," I admitted without hesitation or intention to give alibis.

„Come over here, there's one more thing you need to see," ordered the chief.

I was guided to a more open space where there was no shade and I could feel the sun burn my skin. There before my eyes I saw my motorcycle still in the same condition I last had it.

„Is this the motorcycle you used to travel here with?" interrogated the chief.

„Yes it is," I admitted, hoping that for all the questions I answered I would be rewarded. Freedom was the reward I hoped to receive, or even a bottle of water would be nice. Instead I was ordered to kneel on the ground and be exposed to the scorching sun, while the chief spoke to his followers privately in a language I couldn't understand.

I just knelt on the ground feeling powerless, awaiting my fate, hoping that I would be found innocent and be let go. Rather than just close my eyes, I surveyed my surroundings and saw many goons armed and watching me and I saw other residents occupied with their daily chores, indifferent towards me.

I looked on the horizon and into the distance and saw I was in the middle of nowhere, it seemed there wasn't another community or motel for another 5 miles. Waiting patiently to be approached by the chief, I continued to gaze into the distance and noticed a flash, I thought it was just my imagination. I knew it wasn't my imagination when I saw the flash appear again and I knew this was a sign of danger. The only thing that could make a flash in broad daylight was a glass object and the fact that I saw it in the distance made me assume that there was a sniper, but the question was, who was the sniper targeting?

Was the sniper here to rescue me? Even if the sniper was trying to help me escape by eliminating a few captors then I wouldn't approve of it because I wanted to make a clean getaway without hurting anyone and recovering my equipment. If the rescue attempt failed then there is no doubt I would be executed without further trial.

Uncertain who the target was, I had to do something before the sniper picks the target and pulls the trigger.

If I wasn't the target then who was? The only target I could think of was the chief who was still standing with two of his followers and having a discussion. Not concerned about being the target and losing my life, I took what I thought was the right course of action which would determine my fate.

I sprung up onto my feet and threw my hands from behind and under my feet like a skipping rope. I ran towards the chief who had his back to me, but his associates saw me run towards him from behind. Before they could use their weapons and intervene what they assumed was an attack, I wrapped by arms around the chief and dragged him to the ground.

A shot resonated and a bullet struck the wall behind the chief. Panic broke out and everyone took cover and readied their weapons. The chief and I took cover behind a trailer where we were safe from exposure to the sniper.

A voice cackled over my walkie-talkie device the chief had in his possession, „Plan A has failed resorting to Plan B, eliminate subject, Mikhail Romanenko."

I knew it, the chief was the original target but now the target has become me. From there on, I was determined to take out the sniper and save the chief and the rest of his tribe. I looked at the chief who was shook up, he looked at me and said, „Friend of yours?"

„No," I responded.

The chief didn't say anything, he just looked away and spoke to his associate, probably trying to come up with a strategy.

I dropped to my belly to look underneath the trailer only to hear another gunshot from the sniper and a body subsequently dropped to the floor. Not only was it a body that dropped to floor, but also something that was long, heavy and useful. It was a sniper rifle, the solution needed to take out the sniper.

I approached the chief, manifested the bond on my hands and pleaded, „Cut them, I can help you, I want to help. I don't want anyone to die, I want to save your tribe."

The chief drew his head closer to me and glared, giving me the feint idea he would kill me on the spot.

„Cut his bonds,"ordered the chief.

The chief's associate approached me and cut my bonds with a large intimidating combat knife.

„Thank you," I nodded.

I looked at the chief's associate and requested, „Give me cover fire, I've got a plan."

The chief looked at his associate, approved and ordered, „Give him cover fire."

The chief's associate ran out into the open and fired his automatic blindly at the sniper. I used the opportunity and ran out into the open and towards the fallen soldier and retrieve his sniper rifle. On the way the resonating singular gunshots from the sniper rifle were aiming at the chief's associate, but then they aimed at me and I knew I had to try and make myself a difficult target if I wanted to get to the sniper rifle.

While a bullet hit the ground and kicked up the dirt, I somersaulted towards the sniper rifle and picked it off the ground. I rolled on the floor sideways with the rifle hugged tightly and taking cover behind some wooden crates. It was a bolt action rifle and I ejected the empty cartridge out the chamber and had a new round. I rolled out from the side of the wooden crates and lay on my belly, prepared to use the rifle and take out the sniper. The stock and the scope of the rifle magnetized to my body, before I was ready for fire, I needed to find my target. I looked through the scope and instantly saw the sniper in the distance. The cross-hairs were aligned with the target and I was aiming at his head, but at the last crucial second which could be a matter of life or death, I had second thoughts about pulling the trigger. I aimed slightly downwards and aimed at his left shoulder and squeezed the trigger firmly. The rifle jolted and the stock struck me in the shoulder and I watched the sniper react to the bullet wound he received in his shoulder. He dropped his rifle and squirmed and screamed in pain, I knew he wasn't dead, but at least he was out of action for now.

I stood up and ejected the empty cartridge and turned around to see that everyone who took cover, slowly but cautiously came out of hiding and gathered around me.

„I took out the sniper, he's not dead but he's severely wounded. You might want to seize him before he recovers," I said, while I gave the rifle to the chief's associate, who nodded and led a small group of soldiers to capture the incapacitated sniper.

The chief looked at me affably and praised, „You saved me, you saved my people."

I smiled and responded, „Well I didn't want anyone to die, besides, I wanted to prove my friendship and good intentions."

„You may not have the will to kill, but you have the heart of a hero. Because of your act of heroism, I must express my gratitude."

The chief took steps closer towards me and offered me his hand, which I gleefully took and felt his tight strong grip.

„My name is Mikhail," I introduced.

„Mikhail… my name is Qaletaqa Walker, just call me Walker," introduced the chief.

Walker, that name made me smile with irony that I spent a majority of my journey killing reanimated hostiles called walkers, and now I was friends with someone called Walker.

„Everyone, this man Mikhail is not our enemy, he is our friend. He does not sleep in a cell, he'll sleep in a bed and he will be entitled to other privileges. Tonight, we'll show him our culture and make him feel welcome in our tribe," announced Walker.

The crowd cheered and made the Native American chant which they are most renowned for. I smiled vehemently and felt welcome and loved by those who originally abused me and treated me like foe.

After the chanting died down, the crowd dispersed and Walker walked away with his associate to attend other matters. I called out for his attention, „Walker."

Walker turned around and looked at me with a smile on his face and responded, „Yes my friend."

„May I have my cigarettes please?" I requested, keeping an adhering smile on my face to appease Walker.

„Sure, give him his cigarettes," approved Walker.

I was approached by one of Walker's guards and was given my pack of cigarettes and a light. Without hesitation and acting purely on impulse, I decided to have a smoke and think about the future, rather than think about the past abuse I suffered under people I was now willing to call my friends.

 **To be continued…**


	8. Chapter 8: Ofelia Salazar

**Chapter 8: Have You Seen This Girl? (Ofelia Salazar)**

A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars.

 **\- Carly Simon**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 27.08.2010**

When I hit puberty, all I noticed were the changes that were happening to my body. I don't recall becoming sexually active and finding my sexual orientation. It wasn't until I laid eyes on Alicia did I feel attracted to someone for the first time. I didn't know if that feeling was sexual or it was love, whatever it was, it was something unique.

Only when I laid eyes on other women I could call beautiful could I differentiate love and lust from another. The day I met a damsel in distress did I get the opportunity to prove I was worthy of protecting Alicia and being her knight in shining armor.

* * *

I spent the last few days as a guest of honor at the Black Hat Reservation, why was I there when I could have walked out and continued the search for Alicia? In order to seal the trust between Walker and his tribe, I kept my word that I would not leave the Black Hat Reservation until I could further prove my loyalty. Only by integrating with their culture and appreciating their hospitality would Walker grant me the freedom to leave.

I was given one of the motel rooms, which was clean tidy and inviting. I slept really well, but did wake up on occasions after experiencing recurring dreams regarding memories from my childhood. They were short vague combinations of flashbacks, which gave hints about how I acquired these formidable fighting abilities. I recall being bullied, terrorized and hollered at by people bigger than me, they wouldn't stop until I picked myself up and resumed tough rigorous training. At the end of the training I was treated to a nice warm bed and food, but I was taught that I had to earn those privileges if I wanted them. I also saw kids in my dream, which confirmed I was a kid myself among them and they had sneering cold demeanors. It was obvious that they were in it for themselves and they would have to compete against each other if they wanted to get a warm bed for the night.

Other than the dreams I had those past nights, I would wake up and be warmly greeted by the members of Walker's tribe and I would begin the day with a nice cooked breakfast. I would spend a majority of the day doing menial, labour or other odd-jobs to contribute towards the tribe's economy.

Sometimes I was asked to participate in the training where Walker's soldiers trained in both hand to hand combat and weapons. Unfortunately when it came to my fighting abilities, I didn't know them by heart, they were mainly from muscle memory. This meant I was unable to teach Walker's soldiers the skills I had, so I asked them to try and attack me and I would administer a defense and counter attack. Luckily the soldiers were easy on me, which helped me feel relaxed and unthreatened. We had a friendly spar where no bones were broken or any other serious injuries sustained, it was just a fun little play-fight kids like to engage in. Another benefit to the whole experience was I would uncover a variety of moves both offensive and defensive, I felt I was becoming more of a soldier and not just some average person trying to survive in a post apocalyptic world.

There were other fun games like horse riding, hunting and archery, this would help hone my skills and make me feel part of the tribe.

One thing I enjoyed was an invitation to a ceremony where everyone sat around an aggressive raging fire which blazed in the night and illuminated everyone orange. There was dancing, chanting and also the passing of a ceremonial pipe.

When the pipe was passed to me, I didn't hesitate to inhale the essence of what was in the pipe. It certainly didn't taste like tobacco, in fact it had a more sweet and mellow taste. It tasted like honey in my mouth and I would feel strange effects happening to my body, I wondered if it was drugs? I would experience what I would assume to be visions of my future and where my destiny lies. My predictions were right, I knew I would become a knight in shining armor galloping on a horse trying to save his princess. I would save Alicia and we would ride away sharing the same horse while sharing a tranquil romantic moment.

* * *

On the day I was permitted to leave the tribe, it was early in the morning, I already had breakfast and I was packed and ready to go. I walked with Walker outside and we had one last friendly conversation before I mounted my bike and was prepared to start the engine and ride off down the long road ahead.

Walker was smiling and assured me I have a really big heart and my heart will save many lives including the one who he knew as Alicia. His kind spirting words boosted my confidence as I gave him my hand and thanked him for having me before I turned my attention to the motorcycle and started the engine. We waved each other goodbye and I drove off down the long road feeling quixotic and energetic.

* * *

On the way I did stop by at Tijuana to restock on supplies and carry out the mission that had been allocated to me. I arrived at the dam and stood near the edge of the cliff looking at the vast calm impoundment of clear blue water, it almost felt you could walk on it and feel like Jesus Christ. I got out my binoculars and saw that there were armed guards walking along the damn.

Right by my feet was a large metallic crate with a handprint. This prompted me to place my hand on the print and my hand fitted perfectly, it was almost like a print I made myself. I heard the clicking of locks and the crate opened. I was treated to a supply of goodies and some mandatory items which I knew were essential to the mission. I found a number of small beacons, the size of hockey pucks. These beacons I would place in certain areas of the dam probably to gather intelligence and mark targets in case there was going to be an air-raid. I was also given a small rectangle camera, it looked like one of the disposable cameras you can buy at Walmart. There was a dial to zoom in and out and a little button on top to take pictures, such a cute little toy I was given. In the crate was what looked like a gun, but it was long and skeletal. It had a pistol grip and a long probe. There was a volume control switch and there was an output for a cable that could be connected to my walkman, I guessed it was to record data I could record while equipped with the microphone. Also it came with small headphones so only I could listen in. Another thing I was given was a portable GPS, which I would use to guide me around the globe and find my destination.

Other things that were in the crate were food-rations, batteries and other additions that would make a list, which I wasn't prepared to go through. I was disappointed to find that there were no cigarettes, the one thing I yearned and rewarded myself with for after accomplishing a hard task.

I was given a blank cassette-tape with a label which read „Mиссия: дамба-выключатель" which translates „Mission: Dam-Breaker" maybe to do with the film „Dam Busters" about a World War 2 operation to destroy a fundamental dam in Germany.

I got myself ready, placed the tape into my walkman, pressed the record button and spoke, „Prodolzhat' Missiya: damba-vyklyuchatel', seychas."

* * *

During what I assumed were the event of the mission, I blacked out and can't remember anything that happened. Did I raise any alarms? Did I kill anyone? All I knew was that I had completed my mission because no beacons were in my possession (they showed on the portable GPS) and the camera was full.

All I knew I had to do was attach the camera to a balloon which would float into the sky and be recovered what I imagined would be aircraft. The balloon wasn't made of rubber like balloons you'd buy at a shop in a little plastic packet, but out of a thicker material which inflated and contained helium. I watched the balloon travel high into the sky at an accelerate rate until it disappeared into the clouds.

There was nothing for me left at the dam, so I got on my motorcycle and rode off to resume searching for Alicia. Along the way I did question myself how Jack was doing and if he's beaten me to Alicia. Of course I was concerned for Jack's wellbeing because somehow I'd warm up to him despite only knowing him for less than a day. I guess it was because his name reminds me of one of my favorite cartoons „Samurai Jack", which was created by a Russian who defected to America. Like Samurai Jack I was on a mission, but was willing to help others along the way, I don't know why but helping others has been a lifelong trait. Whether Jack has reached Alicia before me or not, I wasn't going to let that possibility deter me, I'm going to find Alicia even if Jack was by her side.

* * *

Now that I was deeper in Mexico, I saw how different it was compared to California. There was more sand, with only small patches of grass and the occasional cactus here and there. The climate was more hot and humid, more so than California. I guess I could compare it to summer in Russia. Believe it or not Russia can get very hot in the summer, so much, you almost miss winter.

I suddenly came across a hotel which stood next to a row of smaller cubicle buildings, which I assumed were parking garages where guests could park their cars. The first thing on my mind would be to stop and have a rest, because I noticed the sky was grey and the sun was turning red and settling on the horizon. Better I find some shelter before I set off tomorrow to the last known location of the Abigail.

I saw a few vehicles (trucks or land-rovers) which weren't parked on the drive way. This confirmed my suspicion that people were already here or by some circumstance they were eaten by walkers while investigating the hotel.

I parked my motorcycle near the hotel and hid it behind a wall around a corner. With my AK at the ready, I proceeded to enter the hotel.

Judging by the hotel's exterior I could tell this wasn't a five star resort, it was a cheap hotel, ideal for families on a low budget. The hotel was made out of stone and was painted white with a sloping tiled roof. I could see the hotel room doors all lined up with a railing across with arches above, just to add more style and make the exterior look more visually appealing to tourists. The main entrance was arched and double doored, but the double doors were open, indicating that they were kicked in.

No walkers were in sight or were heard, but there was a sudden noise that chilled me to the bone. It was a scream, but the scream was feminine and sounded like she was in trouble.

„HELP ME, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!" screamed a female voice from inside.

I rushed through the main entrance under the arch and was in a courtyard where there were tables shadowed with umbrellas. There were palm trees and flowerbeds just to beautify the scenery, but I knew what I was about to encounter would be less appeasing to the eye.

I heard male voices coming from my left and saw an open door which lead into a bar and there I saw was a female being cornered and surrounded by a group of men. Two men held the woman down while one in front of her was loosening his belt and preparing to pull down his pants. There were two more men just standing and watching, eager for their turn.

I was lucky that their backs were turned on me, which gave me time to plan my attack. I thought it would be easy to eliminate the group and save the woman who they were attempting to rape, but I wanted to try negotiating with them. In case negotiating fails, I prepared to resort to violence by placing my AK and high-powered revolver on the chair under one of the tables.

„Hey," I called out rather loudly. The men impulsively turned to face me. I could see just by looking at their faces they were Hispanic, they were unkempt and looked like they hadn't washed in days. They all had full beards and their faces and clothes were drenched in sweat.

The man who pulled down his pants pulled them up again and fastened the belt around his waist. I could sort of tell this man was the leader mainly by his poise and confident sly smile when he looked at me with bulging brown eyes. His facial expression reminded me that of a happy dog waiting for his master to throw the stick.

„Well well well look who wants to join the party," wisecracked the leader.

„I'm not here for the party, the party is over… let the woman go," I demanded.

I did see the woman's face, she lift up her head to look at me. She was young and in her early 20's, obviously older than me. Her hair was dark and she had tanned skin, indicating she is of Hispanic ethnicity. She looked really beautiful with well-formed thin lips, a long straight bridged nose and dark brown amber eyes. Her jaw was square and shallow, it matched her other facial features in perfect symmetry. Her thin eyebrows rest above her eyes as she pleaded, „Please help me!"

„Look, let the lady go, maybe there's something we can offer you," I placated, hoping I could reason with them.

„Offer? Well... we have enough food and water, but that's not enough to survive. Sometimes we men have other needs and we like a good pussy to have fun with," smiled the leader.

„She's a human being, she has feelings just like us. You know it's wrong what you're trying to do."

The men just laughed and when the laughter concluded, the ring leader demurred, „Wrong…? In this world there's no such thing as right or wrong anymore, it's survival of the fittest."

„Look with all do respect, you're just trying to survive. That's understandable, but we have to work together if we want to get through this."

„You're not from here are you?"

„No, I'm from Russia,"

„Russian… oh would you like some Vodka comrade?" asked the leader trying to put on a Russian accent.

„Okay, line up the shots and we'll drink to our health," I bantered sarcastically.

„I was just kidding by the way. Alcohol and sex don't mix, maybe with champagne but not vodka," quipped the leader with a mischievous smile.

„Look instead of sex, how about a cigarette," I went into my pocket which immediately made the group pull their guns on me, worrying I was going to pull out a weapon. I pulled out my cigarette packet and saw there was only three in there. „There's only three left, I hope at least only three of you smoke."

The group laughed and snickered, „Oh please we live in a post apocalyptic world, worst time and place to be a smoker. Better quit while you can."

I took out a cigarette and put it in my mouth, looked at the group and asked, „You got a light?"

The leader smiled, laughed and said, „Sure, we got a light. Light him up boys."

The tone in his voice when he delivered the order sounded fallacious and knavish. The men raised their automatic rifles at me and I immediately dived behind the table where I placed my AK. The whole room filled with the roaring sound of gunfire as I tipped over the table to protect myself. I did noticed that a couple of men were armed with AKMs, this means that the wooden table wouldn't provide me with very good cover because the cartridge from an AKM (7.62mm) would rip through the table. I then noticed there was a square pillar which supported a balcony above me, that would provide me with cover, better than the table for sure. I waited for a pause between firing and I somersaulted towards the pillar and took cover. Firing switched from the now shredded and splintered table to the pillar I was now standing behind. One thing I noticed was I still had the cigarette in my mouth and I was breathing out smoke, guess one of them really did light me up.

I knew that one of the men would try to outflank me, but the question was which direction? Just keep focused and keep my ears open for footsteps. There was the sound of two automatics firing simultaneously, but then there was the sound of only one automatic rifle firing. Maybe this was the sign that one of the men armed with an automatic rifle was attempting to outflank me. I looked in the direction where I knew was spacious and would provide better maneuverability and observation. I saw a man taking small steps with his AK aimed and ready to shoot on sight. Without hesitation I dropped onto one knee, raised my AK and pulled the trigger. The man jolted and launched into the air off his feet. I saw the bullets rip big red holes in his chest and he fell to the ground completely motionless and obviously dead.

Firing completely ceased and I heard one of the men shout, „Dios Mío, YOU KILLED MY BROTHER YOU FUCKING RUSSIAN DOG!"

I knew from that moment on, the fighting was going to get more fierce, now there was going to be a vendetta. One thing I hoped was this would be when the rest of the group would panic, if not this takedown then maybe the next.

There was the sound of yelling and it was getting closer towards me when I was behind the pillar. The bullets did hit the pillar and dust fell on the floor. Counting the bullets that flowed out of the barrel and made impact against the hard surface of the pillar, I knew he was going to be out of bullets.

Our eyes met and he had a cocky smile on his face as he laughed, assuring he would avenge his brother's death. He tried pulling the trigger and I was right, he was out of ammo. He was shocked and his face turned from confidence to panic. I lowered my AK feeling dirty to shoot an unarmed man in cold blood.

The man dropped his AK and reached for his side arm trying to do a quick draw on me. I immediately whipped out my high-calibre revolver and pulled the trigger. The revolver violently jumped in my hand and at the same time, the vengeful brother's head exploded, the vendetta had failed.

Then there was the sound of a shotgun being fired, it took a big chunk out of the pillar I was still hiding behind. I noticed a sharp pain in my left arm and I noticed it was bleeding, some of the shotgun pellets struck my arm. The bad news was I got shot for the first time ever in my life, but the good news was, I was opposing someone with a pump-action shotgun. The good thing was that a new cartridge had to be pumped into the chamber after each shot, meaning I get the chance to attack. One second and a half wasn't enough I needed to buy another second to make my counter-attack a success. I hoped that the man would fire another shotgun round at me and he did, which was when I put my elaborate plan into action.

I jumped out in the open from behind the pillar and threw my cigarette in his face just as he had loaded another shell into the chamber. He yelped with pain, covered his eyes and took one hand off the shotgun, but kept his finger on the trigger. I ran towards him and grabbed the shotgun, kicked him in the knee joint and pointed the shotgun under his chin. The shotgun did go off and his head exploded and I got splattered in the face with his blood and brains.

I looked around the room and saw no one, it was quiet, which made it unsettling for me because I knew there were two more men and they were hiding somewhere. Then I saw Matt appear by the side of me, he beckoned with his head towards and open door. I didn't know what Matt meant as I shrugged my shoulders in confusion. Matt frowned at me looking irritated that I didn't get the hint, he then pointed his finger to the wall at the right side of the door. He pointed at me then pointed at the door and used two fingers to imitate a pistol with his hand. I got the message and nodded approvingly, I aimed my REX at the wall and fired a round. A body fell on the floor and appeared at the open doorway and lay in a puddle of blood with his weapon lying beside him.

Then all of a sudden the leader appeared at the doorway with the young woman. He had a knife held at her throat and a revolver in the other hand pointed at me.

„Drop your weapon Russian, or I'll cut the bitch's throat open," intimidated the leader, expressing the seriousness of his threat. She was crying, had her eyes closed and was mouthing her pleas to be spared from such a violent death.

„Okay okay, I'm putting down my weapon," I complied as calmly as possible.

„I said drop not put down," growled the leader. I dropped my REX on the floor as I already had my knees bent and still looking at the leader with the woman in his grasp. I noticed that the cigarette I threw into the henchman's face lay next to my gun and was still lit. „Now step away."

I stepped back with my hands up while keeping my eyes fixed on the leader's enlarged pupils pointing, not once did I see him blink.

„Okay, I've done what you ask, now release the woman and we can make a deal," I pleaded.

„What is it you Russians say… let me think… Da-zvidanya," recalled the leader. His rough pronunciation when he tried to speak a word in my language, which I understood and took it as a hint of what was to come next.

Just as I predicted, his revolver fired and with good estimation of timing, I evaded the shot and somersaulted towards my gun. I grabbed my gun and without feeling disorientated after somersaulting, I had my weapon aimed at the leader, whose weapon was slightly off aim because of the recoil. I fired my shot and his firing arm was split in two with his revolver dropping to the floor along with a couple of his fingers.

He yelled in pain and shrieked at the top of his voice when he noticed his hand was shredded and spurting blood. The woman broke free, grabbed what looked like a long claw-hammer and drove it into the leader's still agonizing face. She repeatedly bludgeoned him and he stopped screaming, his skull started to cave in and blood gushed out like a geyser.

„DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN YOU FUCKING FREAK!" cried the woman, still bludgeoning him until she was sapped of energy and dropped to her knees crying her eyes out. I walked over to her and took her in her arms to calm her. „DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T TOUCH ME!" screamed the woman still in tears and squirming trying to break out of my arms.

„It's okay it's me, I saved you remember?" I reminded, not expecting an answer from the still distressed traumatized woman.

After she calmed down and stopped crying, I asked her for her name, „What is your name?"

„Ofelia," sniffed the woman.

„My name is Mikhail," I introduced with a warm comforting smile.

* * *

Ofelia and I took shelter in one of the rooms where she showered in the ensuite bathroom. I would have one after her, hoping she would be changed by then. When I walked out of the bathroom I saw Ofelia sitting on the dressing table topless and I caught a glimpse of her bare-chest.

„Oh I'm sorry I'm sorry, I thought you were dressed," I apologized, looking away.

„It's okay you can look now," said Ofelia calmly.

I looked and she was wearing her bra, displaying glistening serene, golden-brown skin. Resisting the urge to glance at her chest and feel like a pervert, I looked at a healed scar on her left arm. There was a distinct round pink fleck which looked like a gunshot wound.

„Is that a gunshot wound?" I asked, approaching Ofelia and pointing at it.

„It is, I got shot by an ex-boyfriend, well he…" disclosed Ofelia.

„Sounds like the jealous type to do something so violent to a lady."

„Well something like that, but it's along story."

„I understand, if it's too traumatizing for you I rather you didn't tell me."

Ofelia smiled showing her appreciation, then she pointed at my face and asked, „How did you get this scar if I may ask?"

To be honest, I could not remember myself, the only memory I have was being in a car and waking up in hospital. With this amount of information recollected from recovered memories I divulged, „Car accident, I suffered severe burns and a laceration."

„Oh… I'm sorry about that."

„Well I guess it's just the misfortunes in life which cannot be undone."

Ofelia drew her eyes away from mine and looked at my left arm.

„Mikhail you're bleeding," concerned Ofelia.

I looked at my arm and noticed trickles of blood over my still wet skin. Looking at it made me feel a pain in my arm as the little shotgun pellets have not been removed.

„Ah da, I got hit with a shotgun,"

„We need to get that wound treated Mikhail."

* * *

We eventually got out my medical kit and fetched a bottle of vodka to disinfect the wound. Ofelia treated my wound by digging out the little pellets in my arm then dabbing it with vodka. I did respond in pain by exhaling through my teeth and growling. Ofelia did apologize more than once every time I responded in pain when alcohol touched my skin and I assured her it was okay. The way she apologized was in a whisper as if she was really concerned for my well being.

After the wound was treated, Ofelia placed a patch on my arm very gently and tenderly, unlike any nurse would treat a patient. Her touch resembled that of my grandma's whenever she treated my wounds like the loving grandma she was.

„Thank you Ofelia," I said, as I turned round to face her and found my face close to hers. She was looking directly in my eyes. That's when I noticed her eyes were sparkling unlike the time when she was held hostage by the gang who I recently liquidated. I looked down at her lips and saw them twitch into a smile. I looked back into her bright twinkling eyes and was somewhat hypnotized by them. I tried to break out my little trance while looking into Ofelia's eyes with words I hoped would free me from the spellbinding situation.

„Are you hungry Ofelia?" I asked.

Ofelia dropped her smile, but then re-embellished it and responded, „Erm yeah lets eat."

* * *

I assembled the food rations I had in my possession and decided to cook Ofelia a cuisine from my country of origin, soljanka soup. Something my grandma used to cook for me and my father often.

„Is the food all right?" I asked when I noticed Ofelia was still looking at me and had barely touched her soup.

„No it's great… I'm waiting for it to cool down first," responded Ofelia, taking a spoonful of soup to her lips. „Mmm it's delicious, I didn't think Russian food would be this good."

„You think we just eat potatoes?"

„No I was thinking of caviar, it's what you Russians eat right?"

„Da, but I don't like it personally."

„No?" Responded Ofelia, looking surprised.

„I tried some one time, it was so salty I spat it out."

Ofelia laughed and continued to eat her soup.

After dinner, I took out my cigarette packet and saw there were only two cigarettes left. I looked up at Ofelia, held out the open packet and asked, „Do you smoke Ofelia?"

Ofelia shook her head and said, „No."

I was relieved to know that Ofelia is a non smoker, which meant I would have a cigarette for tomorrow. I decided to have one for dessert, but before I lit it, I looked at Ofelia and asked, „You don't mind if I have one do you?"

„No not at all," responded Ofelia, shaking her head.

I lit my cigarette and we proceeded to have a conversation. Ofelia talked about where she was going. She was making her way to the America and hopefully reunite with her former fiancé, William, whom she lost contact with before the walker outbreak. Her topic about love and searching for a loved one instantly sparked a reminder and prompted me to pull out the photo of Alicia.

„Have you seen the girl in the photograph?" I asked eagerly, as I handed her the photo and she took it from me.

Ofelia glanced at the photo and the look on her face turned to shock. Her lips snapped open and her eyes widened, it was as if she saw a ghost that had come back to haunt her.

„Yes I have seen her, her name is Alicia. I was with her and her Family, but I lost track of them," revealed Ofelia.

This shocking yet exciting revelation incited me to ask Ofelia questions, „Where did you last see her?"

„We stopped at a hotel, bigger than this one of course, it was called the Rosarito Hotel I believe."

„What happened, how or why did you separate from the group?"

„I… the hotel was infested and overrun with walkers and we had to split. I only managed to escape with my life. I don't know what happened to Alicia and her family, I'm sorry."

Ofelia expressed me her condolences with a sad face. This fatalistic rumor about Alicia possibly dead sunk my heart as I lowered my head to the ground and responded grievously, „Ponimat."

„You really care for her don't you?" asked Ofelia.

I looked up to see Ofelia's mournful face, it looked like she would cry along with me if I just did. „Da, I do"

„Were you two… well you know… boyfriend and girlfriend?" asked Ofelia.

„Nyet."

„But you love her do you?"

„Da I do, I made it this far in the hopes of seeing her again and tell her how I feel."

Ofelia smiled, awed and assuaged my almost broken spirit, „I'm sure she's still alive, the hotel is really big so, it's more than likely she found shelter."

This rumor enlivened me and rekindled my hope of seeing Alicia again, it made me smile and my smile and also made Ofelia smile too. Ofelia picked up the bottle of vodka and suggested, „Why don't we have a little nightcap?"

„I'm not into vodka personally," I responded.

„But you're Russian, Russians like vodka."

„I had vodka one time and I drank so much I had one bad hangover, this was before I was legally old enough to drink." I saw the look on Ofelia's face, looking kind of disappointed after failing to please me. I then decided to humor her and accepted, „Okay I'll have a drink with you, can't drink too much. I need a clear head because I'll be driving tomorrow."

Ofelia smiled and responded, „Good, I'll be driving too so a couple of shots wont do us any harm."

Ofelia poured two shot glasses, we raised them and looked each other in the eyes.

„What's cheers in Russian?" asked Ofelia.

„Na zdorov'ye," I responded.

„What?" responded Ofelia with a frown, misunderstanding the pronunciation.

„Na-zdo-ro-vee-ya," I iterated, breaking the word into syllables.

„Na-stow-row-vee-ya, Na stowrowveeya," pronounced Ofelia without an accent.

„Got it," I praised, satisfied with her understandable pronunciation. „Ready?"

„Yeah"

We banged our shot-glasses together uttering „cheers" in Russian, which literally translates „To your health". We necked down our shots and I immediately felt the clear liquid burn my throat. I saw Ofelia react to the vodka and she coughed, obviously not used to drinking vodka like a Russian.

„Wow I forgot how strong vodka is," I astonished with a hoarse tone.

„Daddy never let me drink, which is probably why it didn't go down well," rasped Ofelia, holding her throat trying to breath.

„Well like I said, I don't drink vodka much, besides…." I picked up the bottle of vodka and manifested, „It's not Russian vodka, it's Swedish."

„Oh," responded Ofelia, „Still it's strong stuff. I would love to see you drink Russian vodka."

„Well I won't be anytime soon. We've got a long journey ahead of us tomorrow, going to need to be sober."

Ofelia swung her arm to show indifference and scoffed, „Ah another drink wont stop us." Ofelia held up the bottle and shook it gently, „Another one for the road."

„Ah go on," I held out my glass for Ofelia to pour vodka in, „Lets be Russians tonight."

I laughed and so did Ofelia as she refilled our glasses. Again we banged our shot glasses and said, „Na zdorov'ye." This time Ofelia pronounced it better, already developing a tongue for Russian.

* * *

The next morning we woke up in the same bedroom, Ofelia slept in the bed while I slept beside her bed on an armchair with my AK on my lap. I think I remember Ofelia trying to persuade me to sleep in bed with her, but I turned down her offer and decided to sleep on the armchair, feeling I would be ready to encounter any hostiles that storm the room. I had the armchair placed right in front of the door and with empty cans and bottles placed against the door to act as an alarm.

Ofelia had another shower while I prepared breakfast. I cooked „syrniki" which is a Russian breakfast consisted of cottage cheese, eggs (had to use powdered eggs in a packet from my field rations) and flour all mixed together and cooked in a frying pan to form a small thick, round pancake. I served them with a dollop of jelly and sour cream.

Ofelia looked at the dish as I served it to her and found the small dumplings really cute, so cute she was less inclined to eat them. When she finally tasted them she questioned what was in them and I told her it was a mixture of eggs, flower and cottage cheese. She then tried them with jam and sour cream and responded more acutely.

After breakfast, before we were about to go our own separate ways, we tested our sobriety with a little target practice. I gathered some bottles and cans and placed them on a fence. I got out my Makarov and handed it to Ofelia who looked a little edgy and hesitant when she took the small gun from my hands. It was quite obvious that Ofelia had little experience in using firearms or even inclination to start using them.

„It looks like the same gun James Bond uses," remarked Ofelia.

„Well I know it looks like it but it's not, Bond uses the Walther PPK, this is a Makarov. It's a semi-automatic pistol and the official side arm of the Russian military," I briefed Ofelia, placing the gun in her hands.

Ofelia aimed at the cans and bottles lined up and I stood by her to supervise and ensure she was holding the Makarov properly. Slowly she squeezed the trigger and was surprised by the minimal recoil that animated from the gun. After two failed shots and instructed Ofelia to use the three dot sight and take her time. When she took more time aim and smoothly squeezed the trigger she hit each target without missing once.

„Mikhail I did it, I'm really good. I feel so bad ass," exulted Ofelia, jumping lively with pride as she turned face me with an exuberant smile.

„Oy Ofelia don't point it at me, that's dangerous," I warned, deflecting the gun away from my body knowing there was still two more rounds in the gun.

„Oh Mikhail I'm so sorry, I could have shot you," apologized Ofelia showing remorse and tears in her eyes.

„It's okay Ofelia, you're still green. You can shoot and hit your target, but you must grow stronger each day," I explained while loading four cartridges into the magazine. I walked over to the fence where the bottles and cans were stood, but were now lying on the floor with a clean bullet hole in the cans and shattered glass bottles. I lined up six targets and walked back to Ofelia. I took off the safety catch, looked at Ofelia and said, „Watch this." I shot each target in quick succession within one second. I turned to Ofelia and winked, „See what I mean?"

Ofelia was in disbelief and astonished to see how skilled I was with a gun. „Mikhail that was amazing, who are you exactly and why are you this good?"

„I'm unsure really."

„You're not a soldier are you or was in the forces?"

I shook my head and responded, „Nyet, just a high school student close to graduating. I'm trying to figure it out how I have extensive military training and knowledge."

„Maybe you're a secret agent like James Bond," smiled Ofelia trying not to laugh.

„Nyet, I'm not a secret agent, at least I don't think so."

„Maybe like Jason Bourne, he had amnesia before rediscovering his skills as a CIA operative."

„True, maybe I'm more like Jason Bourne. Maybe in time I will know," I nodded before turning back to Ofelia, „But in the meantime, it's time for us to get moving."

„Right," agreed Ofelia with a less enthusiastic smile.

Ofelia opened the door to her truck, but before she climbed in, she turned to face me with a smile.

„Thank you for saving my life Mikhail," thanked Ofelia.

„It was my pleasure Ofelia," I responded, extending my open hand.

Ofelia looked down then looked back up me, shook her head and instead threw herself at me and wrapped her arms around me tightly. She pressed her head into my chest and whispered, „I hope you find Alicia."

I hugged Ofelia back and thanked, „Thank you Ofelia, I hope you find William somehow."

Ofelia didn't respond, instead she released me with a fixed smile as she stepped into the truck. She started the engine and looked back at me to wave and smile. I waved and smiled back as I watched her drive down the road until it was nowhere to be seen.

Alone again and in complete silence, I decided to make haste to the Rosarito Hotel before sunrise. Thinking back to Ofelia and knowing I received a hug from her, gave the spur and boost I needed to get on my bike and ride energetically and strenuously to my destination.

I rode down the empty road at full speed feeling buoyant and hoping that Alicia is still alive. I didn't want to think about the worst Outcome, I only wanted to think happy thoughts. Alicia is alive I know it, she is alive, well and is safe with her family who would do anything to protect their fragile young girl.

„I'm coming Alicia, just hold on. I'll be there. I'm coming to save you princess."

* * *

I did finally reach the Rosarito Hotel, but it was already nighttime and there was no lighting to guide me through the darkness. I didn't want to risk detection by turning on the headlights on my motorcycle, so I trusted my eyes. One thing I remember back to my childhood when I had what I assumed was military Training, was trying to use your other senses to navigate through areas without the use of sight. That training sure came in handy and I was able to arrive at the Rosarito Hotel in one piece and avoid detection from any bandits or walkers.

The Rosarito Hotel was a gigantic building, which stood out compared to the other buildings because of how it towered over like it was king of the city. There were windows and each window was a little square all lined up with the others. The rooftop was flat and I noticed a sign which displayed its name in big bold letters, but the lights were out. I could hear the breeze and crashing of waves, which I assumed were coming from the other side of the building. It was quite obvious this was a beach hotel, with what I assumed were balconies for each window. This place must have such a high reputation for tourists who could afford to be accommodated in such a place like this. Once a five star hotel, now a shelter for survivors, a real prestigious and luxurious place for my princess to live in. If she really was still in there, I wanted her to come out to the balcony and sing for me. I would approach the building and join in the singing hoping to get her attention and charm her.

I took out my night-vision binoculars and surveyed the entire exterior of the building. First I directed my eyes to the entrance and saw it was clear of any living or undead. There was debris and litter scattered in places, indicating that people have been here recently. One thing that confirmed that people must be here was I found a white car just standing on the driveway. I don't know whose it was but it looked like it was new and fully operational.

I was about to prepare myself to enter the building and find Alicia until I saw a group of people run out of the building. They looked like they were desperate and in a hurry to leave. I felt a pang as I feared something wrong happened in the building.

I got out my binoculars again and focused on the group of people that were now surrounding the white car. My body froze when I saw one of them who came into view was an enchantingly beautiful young female. It was her, it was really her, it was Alicia. I zoomed in closer to observe her and watch her get into the car. I could see she was panicking, but that didn't diminish her divine angelic-like beauty. That beauty was taken away from my eyes once again when she disappeared into the car.

I saw a man get into the car which I identified by his thick curly hair as Travis and I saw another female interacting with a black man. As soon as I noticed her long golden hair that emerged even in the dark, I noticed it was Alicia's mum, Madison. The black man I didn't recognize, he wasn't any acquaintance of mine. Maybe he was a friend of the Clarks or maybe they met him during the outbreak and they fled Los Angeles together.

I saw Madison break away from him and get into the car, this was when I decided to follow and mount my bike. I saw the car drive right through the gate and drive away, this was when I started my engine and begun pursuit. One good feature about my bike was that it was able to move silently at a low speed, ensuring stealth maneuverability and avoid detection. I followed the white car from behind but not directly from behind, I didn't want to scare them away. This was it, I was going to be reunited with Alicia at last, but I needed to find the best way to approach them in a peaceful friendly manner.

I followed them to a seemingly big building which bared its name in red letters „El Pelicano", unfortunately I don't speak Spanish so I was unable to decipher the meaning or understand what type of establishment it was. I watched the trio enter the seemingly abandoned building while I camped in one of the neighboring houses, intending to approach them the next day.

While I was sat on the rooftop having my last meal of the day, I used the directional microphone to listen to what was going on in „El Pelicano" where Alicia, Madison and Travis were residing. I heard a conversation between them and heard what I needed to hear, where they will be going and when they'll be going. Tomorrow they will be going to a place called „La Colonia" to find their relative „Nick Clark" who I knew is Alicia's brother.

Happy and content that I found Alicia and knew she was alive, I decided to get some sleep and wake up the next day with the intention to approach her and her family. Normally I would be too excited to sleep, but I was sure that I would have an easier time sleeping compared to the Clarks and Travis who were used to sleeping in a bed, while I've been sleeping mostly in rough conditions. Feeling sleepy I lay on my side in a sleeping bag under a makeshift tent holding the photograph of Alicia. „Sleep well my little princess and I will see you in the morning," I whispered softly and lovingly as I kissed the photo, put away, turned out the light and went to sleep.

 **To be continued…**


	9. Chapter 9: Alicia Clark

**Chapter 9: Alicia Clark**

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‚I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'

 **\- Eleanor Roosevelt**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 29.08.2010**

I will admit I am scared, scared before the outbreak and during the outbreak when discovering the dead were coming back to life. I was scared during near death experiences both walker and human, but that was fear I was able to use and make myself stronger.

However, the fear I'm talking about is a fear I was burdened with, before the walker outbreak. It was my fear of approaching Alicia and telling her my feelings for her. This was a fear that would make me crumble or run away.

It wasn't only her astounding Beauty, but also the prospect that I would do something wrong and ruin all chances with her. Then I think back to our first real conversation when I showed her how to dance. We hit it off so well and she took one last glance at me before going her own separate way. I decided to turn that fear into confidence and show her that I really am her hero.

* * *

I woke up to a beautiful morning, the sun shone its bright light and illuminated the whole environment, so bright I barely noticed much color. After my eyes readjusted, I felt the energy to stay awake and get on my feet. I emerged from under my makeshift tent. It was so hot I wanted to get back in the shade, but I looked down over the roof. The white car was parked in the exact same spot as yesterday. Just to confirm Alicia, Madison and Travis were still there, I used my directional microphone and heard their tired and weak voices knowing they were waking up. I used the time to my advantage and have my breakfast.

Before the white car started its engine and drove away, I was already packed up on my bike and ready to follow. I closely followed the car but didn't tailgate. I followed the car all the way to „La Colonia" where Nick Clark apparently was.

* * *

Eventually we both reached La Colonia, which was a small community with shabby huts decked with rusty roofs. Some looked like they could fall apart if a storm broke out, but luckily there hasn't been a storm recently. There were some shelters that were constructed out of concrete, but I was guessing they were reserved for the most privileged residents. I did notice there was a wall made out of rusted metal sheets with some wooden beams to shore up the structure and there was a crooked wire fence with a large gap. Through that large gap was a one decker bus, it was quite obvious after observing the gap in the fence and the backdoor of the bus that it was used as a threshold.

I watched Madison and Travis enter the village while Alicia stayed by the car. Unexpectedly the backlights of the bus blinked and it prompted Alicia to investigate the bus. While Alicia stepped into the bus, I would eventually see Madison and Travis return and board the bus too. Still I was prowling on one of the rooftops of the buildings, unsure how I would approach them. I decided that I would stand by their car and wait for them to return, feeling unnerved about how they respond to strangers.

While waiting patiently for them to step out of the bus, I assumed that what was in the bus was of great importance and kind of what they were looking for. Maybe Nick was in there, I wasn't sure. I just hoped that if he was in there he was still alive and well, because I didn't want to see Alicia sad, it would break my heart to see her like this.

I did see a large horde of walkers advance slowly towards the bus, it was obvious that they have retraced Madison's and Travis' steps. It was obvious that if I don't intervene somehow, the walkers would have surrounded the bus, decreasing chances of escape. I had to act now if I wanted to save Alicia and her family. I pulled out my one-handed shovel and sprinted towards the back of the bus. I climbed up the bus using one foot and launching myself onto the roof of the bus without the use of my hands. Running to the front of the bus, I flipped off the edge and landed on my feet in a big open space behind the walkers.

„EY, COME GET ME, I'M RIGHT HERE," I shouted, after firing a shot from my REX revolver into the air. The shot made the ground beneath me vibrate and the walkers froze as if it was a game of musical statues. The walkers all turned round to draw their eyes on me, that's when I knew I succeeded in getting their Attention, and they would be attacking me.

I drew them farther away from the bus by stepping backwards and banging my shovel on the ground and scraping into the sand. I saw Travis attempt to get of the bus via the main-entrance, but I yelled, „NYET TRAVIS, STAY IN THE BUS. I'VE GOT THIS." Travis obeyed and stayed in the bus, while readying his shotgun. I saw Alicia and Madison spectate through the windows, looking into Alicia's eyes I smiled, „Good girl Alicia, stay with your mother. I'll be with you soon."

I looked back at the abhorrent and decaying faces of the walkers, looking vicious and ravenous with their mouths wide open. Feeling brave and determined, I tightened my grip around the handle of the shovel and charged towards them. When I got close enough, I catapulted myself into the air with a bent knee and thrusted my foot into a walker's chest. The impact sent the walker flying back and knocking over the other walkers like bowling pins.

Landing on the ground again, I saw there were still some walkers on their feet who were nearing me. I spun the shovel in my hand and swung the shovel at the walkers and I saw how the blade of the shovel went through their heads like butter. Hacking their limbs would be pointless and futile, because I knew the only way to kill walkers was to destroy their brain. There were a few walkers who I didn't use my shovel on. One I destroyed its jaw with my elbow it practically hung on its hinges, it was quite evident not going to be able to bite anyone anymore. Another walker I hit so hard, its skull caved in and just fell to the ground. I performed a spinning kick and the walker's head snapped to one side and fell to the ground because of its own weight.

The moment was so exhilarating I forgot how I took down each individual walker, but let's say I took on the entire horde without sustaining a bite. It was my dear friend Qaletaqa Walker who warned me that a walker's bite is fatal and incurable that will eventually turn you into one of them.

When there were no more walkers surrounding me, I relaxed my arms and took time to catch my breath. I looked at the bus and saw Alicia step out to look at me sentimentally. Her expressive eyes were aimed solely at me and her lips hung open in shock. She was bathed in heavenly angelic light, depicting her as the angel I always envisioned her to be. It was obvious she was concerned for me and wanted to help during my encounter with walkers, but I wanted her to be safe and stay in the bus.

Looking at her caused an overwhelming pang all over my body. My throat was melting, my knees were turning to jello and a sharp electric surge circuited over my body. This was fear, a fear that I could not stand and face. All that way I travelled, longing to be with Alicia and ironically, I wanted to get away from her. Not wanting her to see my like this I turned around and fled for shelter.

„WAIT!" shouted a youthful voice, which I knew was Alicia's.

„COME BACK, WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU," yelled out a male voice, which I knew was Travis.

I didn't stop, I kept running, hoping Alicia hasn't seen my deformed face. Not wanting them to lose track of me, I ran into the nearest hut I could find.

The interior of the hut was dark with light shining out of the window. I saw there was an arm chair near the window and decided to sit down and wait for Alicia, Madison and Travis to find me. I heard muffled voices approaching as they got near the door. Not wanting them to see my face, I looked at the wall so I could obscure my disfigurement from them.

I pulled my cigarettes and saw I only had one cigarette left in the scrunched packet. I considered having it yesterday after dinner or after breakfast, but decided to save it and have it at this moment to help calm my nerves.

The door burst open and I threw out my open hand. „Stop, don't come any closer."

„It's okay, we're here to help… please let us help you," coaxed Travis.

I put the cigarette in my mouth and responded, „I came to help you" I lit my cigarette „That's why I'm here."

„Wait, I know you. You're Mikhail, Mikhail Romanenko. You're the Russian, my best student."

I inhaled a large quantity of smoke and exhaled, „I know you Travis, you're my English teacher. You're the one that always stood by and believed in me."

„That's right, your English skills were phenomenal."

„What do you mean Travis?" asked Madison.

„Well his English vocabulary, spelling and grammatical skills are beyond that of a native speaker. I'm telling you Madison this man is a class A student."

„Mikhail, I'm Madison and this is Alicia."

Hearing Madison mention Alicia struck an invisible dagger in my chest, I was compelled to take another long drag of my cigarette. „I know Alicia, we went to school together."

„Mikhail, look at us when we talk to you," pleaded Madison.

I nearly choked while I had smoke in my lungs, the nicotine didn't help stem my anxiety of what I would inevitably have to do, turn around and show them my hideous scar. „I don't think you'll like what you're about to see."

„Mikhail please, don't be afraid, please let us look at you," beseeched Madison, taking small steps towards me (I could hear them).

I took another drag of my cigarette, blew out the smoke in one big cloud, stood up and slowly turned around to look at them. Their familiar faces expressed shock and horror. It was obvious they saw the right side of my face had suffered a terrible burn, and there was a laceration from the right commissure of my mouth to my ear. The last time I looked in the mirror, I saw that even with all the healing the deformation looked noticeable and it would be permanent.

„Oh my… Mikhail what happened?" concerned Madison, walking closer to me.

I saw Alicia's eyes begin to leak with tears and she looked away in horror, unable to look at me anymore. This made me feel really bad about myself. I wanted to run away again, but this time, lose the group. However, I just stayed and answered Madison's question rather emotionally, „Car accident, I crashed my car and suffered burns. The next thing I remember was I woke up in the hospital and everything had changed."

„Mikhail I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm happy to know you're alive."

Alive? that word stuck in my head knowing I came along way, knowing I only did it for Alicia. If Alicia wasn't alive, I didn't think I could go on living. Now I knew Alicia was alive and I have found her, I immediately thought of another man who was hoping to find Alicia.

„Alicia," I called out.

Alicia turned to look at me with moist eyes, „Yeah."

„Do you know someone called Jack?"

„Yeah," reacted Alicia, conveying a facial expression that convinced me she still cared for Jack and hoped he was okay.

„He has a message for you."

„What is it?"

„You can keep my knife, I hope it will protect you."

Alicia smiled and weakly laughed in a sentimental manner.

„Have you seen a young man, he's your age? His name is Nick," asked Madison.

„He's your son isn't he?"

„Yeah that's right."

„Unfortunately I haven't, but I can help you find him. I'm more than willing to help."

Madison smiled and responded, „Thank you Mikhail, I really appreciate your offer. How can you help us?"

Feeling accepted and welcome in the group I smiled, „All I need to know vaguely where he is. If he's close enough and has a radio or any other communicative device on him, I can hack into the line."

„That's great Mikhail, I'm so grateful for your assistance," beamed Madison (I don't think I ever saw her smile this much).

„Please, it's the least I can do for you trying to help me and let me join you." Madison and I exchanged smiles until I noticed a walker appeared by the doorway. „EVERYBODY GET DOWN," I yelled, pulled out my shovel and flung it at the walker. The shovel struck the walker in the head and he went down with the shovel still in its skull. I walked to the walker and saw it was different compared to other walkers I've seen. The skin wasn't decomposing, but I knew it was acting like a walker with its way of walking, arm movement and snarling before I took him out. He must have changed recently, which made me wonder if people have been here recently. Not just former inhabitants but those who tried to invade the community. Not wanting to ask myself too many questions about this particular walker, I placed my foot on its skull and pulled out my shovel. I knelt down to examine the body and pull out something blocky from under his short sleeve. It was to my delight what I was hoping, it was a pack of cigarettes. Looking at the open packet with orange tipping papers and white filters all lined up made me smile, „Well he's not going to be needing these." Saying that made me feel dirty, but I cerebrated what the gang leader who attempted to rape Ofelia said, „In this world there's no such thing as right or wrong anymore, it's survival of the fittest."

„You need a ride Mikhail," asked Madison behind my back.

„Nyet, thank you, I came with my own transport. I can tailgate from behind."

I led the way back to where we parked, protecting them against any danger on the way. I put down a walker with my Makarov, which separated from the horde.

When we arrived where the Clarks have parked their car, I noticed someone (a male) tried to hot-wire my motorcycle.

„EY STOP," I yelled at the man trying to hijack my motorcycle, but he ignored me. He started the engine and looked at me. He insulted me by sticking out his tongue, giving me the bird and saying „Adios". Before he could accelerate the vehicle I saw it explode into a big fireball that shot in the sky and left a burning pile of debris.

„GLUPYY SOOKSIN," I growled and threw my cigarette butt aggressively at the burning wreckage. I looked back at Alicia, Madison and Travis who also had their eyes on the wreckage, shocked to see what just happened. „Guess I'll be needing that ride after all."

I looked back at the burning wreckage and noticed the leather pouches were roasting in the fire. „MOI KASSETY," I ran to the fire, got out my shovel to scoop out the leather pouches. I got both out and was relieved to discover that its contents were completely undamaged and were safe. I breathed a sign of relief when I saw each cassette tape I had in my possession was unaffected by the explosion. These were music cassette tapes, which I could not part with. Music was something I loved and needed to keep my sanity and enliven my spirits.

Before we got into the car and pressed on, Travis decided it was best to scavenge some fuel from abandoned vehicles, which looked like they've been used recently. I took out the cigarettes I scavenged, sniffed the rich flavored tobacco and decided to have one.

„Mikhail," said Travis disapprovingly.

„Oh I'm sorry, would you or anyone else like one?" I handed out the packet to Travis and Madison.

„No… just take it easy okay. You don't have many and besides, they're not good for you," lectured Travis, who looked back at me, „And one more thing, no smoking in the car please."

„I understand," putting the packet back in my pocket and lighting my cigarette.

While leaning against one of the abandoned cars, having an exotic and delectable cigarette, Alicia came up to me and leaned against the car next to me. The cigarette really helped me feel at ease and laid-back.

„I'm sorry about your bike," sympathized Alicia.

I took a drag from my cigarette and responded, „That's okay, I guess this was going to happen soon. Besides, part of me wanted to ride with you."

Alicia looked at me and formed a smile, which I could tell she was trying not to laugh. The intoxicating tobacco tickled my nerves and made me laugh spontaneously. Alicia laughed too along with me, once again we both shared a happy moment together.

„So you met Jack?" asked Alicia.

I looked at Alicia and responded, „Da, I have met him, he told me he saw you and tried to protect you."

„It's true, he did try to protect me, but he cooperated with those that were endangering my family."

I looked into the distance, unsure how I could respond, I just said the first thing that came into my head, „Da, I suppose. He still cared about you and was upset when you left him."

Alicia looked guilty, she had her mouth open, took a deep breath and mourned, „I hope he's okay."

„I'm sure he is, he went his own way and looked really happy and optimistic towards a bright future."

„I'm glad to hear it." Alicia smiled, finding closure to her guilt of abandoning Jack. Alicia looked at me and brought up a subject, which I relive and have nightmares about. „How did you escape L.A.?"

„Well I was at home enjoying a peaceful evening until I noticed napalm falling from the sky. I escaped just in time before the whole city was incinerated."

Alicia opened up her mouth, wanting to say something but restrained herself from doing so. I'm guessing she was going to make the assumption how I suffered a severe burn on my face, but she remembered how I got the burnt. I decided to ask Alicia how she got out of the city before the cleansing, „So how did you and your family get out of the city?"

„We suspected the military were keeping secrets from us, especially when they took my brother and placed him in quarantine. We got him out, but we noticed the military were evacuating and for a reason. They were planning to eradicate the city, even kill civilians who were oblivious to the fact they were going to die."

Hearing Alicia's side of the story chilled me to the bone, thinking back to the civilians I witnessed die a terrible death. The soldiers who tried to kill me in the theatre who I saved them from a walker attack, were trying to kill me without telling me about the military operation to commence napalming the city.

„Well it sounds like our country betrayed us, well your country not mine. There was no racial discrimination, just the sacrifice of millions of civilians to stem the epidemic, and still; we have walkers."

„Well… I'm happy to know you are safe," said Alicia.

Hearing that struck me like a bolt of light and stunned me. Her kind compassionate words made me smile and feel like she really cared for me. I looked at her with a smile and stammered with flattery, „I'm glad you are safe too."

Alicia and I looked at each other and smiled until Travis' voice disturbed our seemingly flirtatious moment, „Hey Alicia… Mikhail, we're moving out." In response, I stumped out my cigarette on the hood of the car and flicked the butt away. I walked with Alicia to the car and realized how small she was compared to me, I towered over her like a giant, but I was a gentle giant. Alicia still looked incredibly fragile and delicate, as I would be very careful how I touch her.

Travis took the wheel while Madison sat at the front, Alicia and I sat at the back. While the car was back on the road and driving north, I do remember looking at Alicia from time to time. She never looked back at me or even noticed I was looking at her. I saw her hair shine in the sun and blow in the wind with her window slightly open.

Trying to break out of the habit and not wanting to make a bad impression on her, I got out my walkman, put in the tape I received from the dam and listened to the next mission.

Only after listening to the tape did I realize I was close to the location. I asked Travis to stop the car, he did after giving him a reason why and that it was to do with Nick Clark. The mission was about a military fuel depot in California right next to the Mexican border. Although Nick wasn't mentioned in the recording on the tape, I hinted that maybe he was held captive there.

Once I was out of the car and stood in the middle of the road using my binoculars, I saw a massive military base. I saw moving vehicles and a helicopter inactive on a helipad. There were even people who I could see were wearing military uniform and armed. Being skeptical about the military after the unforgettable betrayal with bombing the city and its residents, I put away my binoculars and informed my companions what I just saw. They too displayed their doubts about trusting another military unit after escaping the city with their life and watching their home burn to the ground.

* * *

Travis drove farther north until we reached what looked like a border crossing, where we got out of the car to investigate. I could see a number of cars were strewn and abandoned all over the road. There was metallic fencing, checkpoint booths and concrete pillars to hold up the gargantuan roof that blocked the sun.

As soon as I noticed that there were bullet holes and spent cartridges scattered around the area, shards and fragments of glass underneath windowless car windows and dried blood-stains, my stomach churned and my hairs on my arm stood on end.

„Stay back," I ordered, as I stuck out my arm with an open stretched-out hand, cocking and readying my AK, „I got this."

„Mikhail wait," said Travis, running up to me.

„Travis don't worry I can handle this, I've been in a firefight before."

„Mikhail wait, there has to be another way. Let us help you."

I smiled at my former English teacher while looking into his eyes, which revealed how concerned he was for me. He showed more compassion for me than my father ever did.

„Travis," I placed my hand on his shoulder, „You need to protect Madison and Alicia."

Travis placed his hand on my shoulder and consented, „Okay, but be careful."

„Only shoot in self defense, don't try to be a hero okay."

„Okay," confirmed Travis as we both released our hands off each other's shoulders. I turned my back to Travis and felt a light slap on my back. „Watch your back soldier," quipped Travis.

I briefly looked back to look at Alicia and endowed her with a comforting smile, which she responded with only half a smile. Too nervous to give me the full adorning smile I wanted to see, but no worries, I hope to see her smile again when I return as the valiant hero I wanted to appear to her.

Focusing on nothing else but what lay ahead of me in the distance, knowing I was walking into what appeared to be the perfect place for an ambush. I remained calm and breathed normally as I looked sharp and listened in while surveying the entire area. I pictured where each hostile could be hiding ready to pop out and shoot me, another thing I did was try to think where I would hide should I be the one wanting to surprise attack my target. Maybe there was a sniper, if there was, then I need to be paying close attention to a flash in the distance and the resonating sound of the first shot.

At the other end there was sunlight, which I assume marked the American border, just step into the sunlight and I'm back in America again. Then it occurred to me that maybe the ambush was waiting for me as soon as I stepped into the sun. Examining how bright the sun was and how long I've been in the shade, it was obvious they were going to use the sun to mildly impair my vision. Getting closer to stepping into the sunlight, I realized how far I was from Alicia and her family, I started to get worried incase the enemy have given me the slip and were approaching Alicia and her family. I solely relied on Travis to protect Alicia and Madison, knowing he was armed with a shotgun.

I put one foot forward into the sunlight and slowly stepped my entire body into the scorching sun, feeling my skin beginning to burn. I focused on the cars and slightly closed my eyes to avoid becoming temporarily blind and hoped I was right about hostiles hiding behind cars. I stood still and tested their patience if they were going to emerge from one of the cars and shoot me, if not, I would whistle to signal that the area was clear

The whole experience of walking under the roof and out into the sun triggered a flashback when I participated in a tough, but rather haunting and traumatizing training op. In the middle of the night, I was unexpectedly woken up and dragged outside where I was instructed to venture into the woods, which I feared for its eerie and somber appearance. I was given nothing, no food, blanket or a light. I was to penetrate the woods and locate a flag, which I would have to bring back to my mentor. One thing I was warned about was there were my fellow comrades who wouldn't hesitate but use any means to stop me even violence, because they knew there could only be one winner in our training exercises.

Originally I was terrified, I was shaking and shivering from the cold and the ghastly atmosphere I found myself in the middle of. Eventually I learnt to control my fear and use it to my advantage. Fear eventually became a motivation and the realization that if I wanted to survive the nightmare, I had to succeed and be prepared for the worst outcome.

I do vaguely remember being attacked by my comrades with rocks and sticks carved into spears which I was able to survive each encounter. Subsequently after a grueling search, I found the flag and was able to retrace my steps and find my way out of the wood where my superiors were waiting.

The beneficial side to the whole exercise was I learnt how to conquer and face my fear and use my other senses to navigate me through darkness and anticipate danger. Thanks to this opportunity, which could have cost me my life, I was able to prepare myself for what was to come in my current situation.

Just as I expected, a human body popped out from one of the cars like a weasel coming out of its hole. With my AK ready and finger firmly on the trigger I gunned him down with a short burst without any rounds leaving the barrel of his rifle. Then I saw other hostiles emerge from their hiding places, opening fire and trying to put a bullet in me. Luckily I had the cars to provide me with cover and evade gunfire. The side mirrors on the cars helped me spot hostiles from behind and prevented me from being outflanked and struck from behind.

When I was out in the open and had a clear view of the target, I was able to successfully hit my target without making any stray shots. Each and every hostile was obviously gun-ho, just how I stereotyped Americans and their guns.

One takedown I remember was a hostile using a car as a cover, but the problem was he stood behind the door windows and fired over the roof of the car. I returned fire and shot through the door windows and a 7.62 round obliterated both of the windows and hit him in the abdomen.

Out of nowhere I heard a shotgun round and the pumping of a new shell in the chamber. This redirected the gunfire away from me as I knew the man who fired the shotgun was obviously Travis. I raced towards the security booth and saw to my horror it was Travis, who had came out of hiding to assist me in fighting.

„Travis nyet you idiot," I thought to myself, as I saw him retreat back to his post which was going to lead the ambushers to Alicia and Madison and I wasn't going to allow that. „Damn it Travis, I had them right where I wanted them, but you had to interfere and put yourself including Alicia and Madison in danger," I cursed at Travis, knowing I was desperately going to have to hurry if I wanted to save Alicia and her family.

One thing I do have to praise Travis for interfering was the fact I could sneak up behind the enemy and take them out, but I would have to do it quietly, unless I wanted to revert back to frontal attacks.

I snuck behind each hostile closing in on Alicia and her family. I took them out with my knife and barehands. It was easier than I expected, but felt kind of callous doing so, but this was something I was going to have to get used to when fighting against enemies who have little to no morality.

I saw what I assumed was the last member of the group approaching where Alicia and her family was, and I could tell, because there was the sound of Travis pleading for mercy and offering his surrender. There was no doubt that he would have pulled the trigger. I hurriedly snuck behind him, jumped in the air, kicked myself off the car to the side of him and grabbed him around the neck. We both fell to ground as I wrestled the assault rifle out of his hands and kicked him off me. He landed against the open door aligned with the door frame of Travis' car. He looked at me and whipped out his side arm with a smile of confidence on his bloodied face, knowing I was unarmed and he would finish me off.

Before I could make my next move, the door slammed on his face and he slumped to the ground. His eyeballs were pointing upwards and blood was leaking out of his eyes, ears and mouth. It was probably the most horrific killing I've seen so far, mainly because he wasn't dead but would inevitably die from severe head trauma.

I looked at Travis who I saw looked in horror as he gasped, „Oh my God, I've done it again." Travis collapsed and fell against the car into a catatonic state.

„Travis, Travis, Travis," repeated Madison, running towards him and holding his face, „Can you hear me? It's Madison. It's alright baby, you did what you had to do."

I did the honorable thing by walking up to the dying man who was still shaking and bleeding profusely. I took out my Kizlyar combat knight and stabbed him in the head to prevent him reanimating. Alicia looked at me looking shook up by what just happened and what she saw.

„Alicia, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to see that," I apologized, almost attempted to stroke her face.

„Mikhail, it's okay," whispered Alicia, her delicate voice brought me comfort and invigoration, knowing she approved of my necessary course of action.

Our eyes locked and we remained silent, I wondered if this could mean a pending love scene was about to happen. Unfortunately that comforting intimate moment was broken when I sensed there was danger, and it was aimed directly at Alicia.

„BACK," I yelled, grabbing Alicia and moving her out of the way. I drew my REX revolver and fired at a man with an assault rifle with a scope standing on top of a truck. The man went down and almost fell off the side of the truck, but only draped at the side. I still had Alicia in my arm and she looked at the now deceased man who had her in the scope of his rifle.

„Thank you," said Alicia.

I turned to look at Alicia and responded, „Pozhaluysta."

Our faces were close, our eyes locked, but before anything could happen; I heard Madison's voice cut in.

„I think we should get going," suggested Madison.

„That's a good idea," I agreed.

„Can you drive Mikhail?" asked Madison.

„I sure can."

„Good," Madison threw me the car keys.

* * *

We all got into the car where I took the wheel. Madison was sitting in the back holding and comforting a still catatonic Travis. Alicia was sat in the front with me acting very quiet. I decided not to engage in conversation and let everyone recover from the near death experience. When I was on the open road and could drive peacefully, I did take glances at Alicia, who was just relaxed and looking out of the window. One time I stared at her and couldn't take my eyes away from her, I needed Madison's strong firm voice to rebuke me for doing something so reckless.

„Keep your eyes on the road Mikhail… what's wrong with you?"

„Sorry," I Immediately turned my attention on the road and felt embarrassed in case Madison was getting the idea that I'm attracted to Alicia.

* * *

When the military fuel depot was in my sight, I pulled over and parked the car off the road. We got out and observed the depot in the distance. This was where I would set up an observation post by getting out my binoculars, gathering intelligence before proceeding to infiltrate the base as part of my mission.

„Do you think Nick could be in there?" wondered Madison.

„Well I'm not sure, but we'll find out soon enough," I responded while still having my eyes glued to the binoculars. I zoomed into one of the guards and examined his equipment, „They are armed with 5.56sixers and pineapples."

„Pineapples?" baffled Madison.

„Slang for the Mk 2 grenade."

„Oh."

I got out my directional microphone, hooked it up to my stereo with a blank tape inserted and started recording conversations between the soldiers. I sat, waited and listened patiently for anything that might give hints if Nick was in there or not. While pointing the microphone and scanning for conversations that were relating to Nick and ignoring all the trivial banter between personnel, I then heard a conversation, which caught my attention.

„Well we're busting out of here, just be patient and wait for the opportunity. Are you up for it?" said a male voice.

„Yeah, I'm up for it… what's your name by the way?" asked another male voice which sounded really young, he sounded like he was my age.

„Steven, and what's yours?"

„Nick, Nick Clark."

That name made me turn my head to look at Madison who was already looking at me, „Madison, I think you might want to listen to this."

Madison ran towards me and crouched next to me. I gave her an earphone which she inserted into her ear and we listened to the conversation together.

„Is this your son?"

After listening to Nick's voice, she tore the earphone out of her ear, looked at me and exclaimed, „Yeah, it's Nick, it's really Nick."

 **To be continued…**


	10. Chapter 10: Nick Clark

**Chapter 10: Nick Clark**

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

 **\- Helen Keller**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 29.08.2010**

After the long harrowing journey to find Alicia and be reunited with her, I would soon come to the realization that it became a full occupation to protect her and her family. Choosing to protect her and her family as well as cary out my missions, did I know it would be hard to devote my energy and time to both. If I had a choice, I would only make Alicia my top priority.

Since I volunteered to help Madison find her son Nick, I knew I had to prove my worth to her and Alicia that I was trustworthy and reliable.

* * *

I've been experiencing a blackout again, when did it happen? When I proceeded with the mission. All I remember before I infiltrated the base was studying the layout and activities in the base before I got equipped and proceeded. The blackout happened as soon as I stood facing the base, spoke into my stereo with the record button down and said, „Prodolzhat' Missiya: Osada, seychas." The next thing I remember is standing in front of Alicia, Madison and Travis looking bewildered, it was as if I did something so heinous they were about to turn around and walk away. Behind me I found a young man who looked like my age. He had long brown hair which was combed back and hung at the back of his neck. His eyes were dark brown, almost matching the same color as his pupils and above his eyes he had thin perfectly trimmed eyebrows that alined with the width of his eyes. His nose was triangular and his lips were round and small. Overall he had an aggressive look about him, he reminded me of a classmate who always scorned me and became my rival. He also reminded me of Jack, the one whose fate was unknown after meeting him at the harbor.

He was accompanied by a slightly older and shorter Hispanic lady. Like her male companion she had a broad nose, but the bridge was smaller and inward. Her eyes were also dark and matched her pupils with longer trimmed eyebrows above her small eyes. She had round ears that stuck out and long jet-black hair that hung behind her long neck and slender shoulders. She looked like a superhero or a Hollywood action star, almost like Wonder Woman if she was Hispanic.

„Nick," exclaimed Madison running up to the young man. Alicia also ran past me with a sign of relief on her face as her and Madison both hugged him affectionately. The sight of this warm touching moment reminded me how this family was more complete and united compared to the family I had. My family consisted of a loving grandma, a neglectful abusive father and a mother whom I barely have any memory of. Not much of a family I had, not compared to the Clarks who had love and a bond, which I envied and wish I had with my family. Instead of envying and resenting the Clarks, I wished to become part of the family. Alicia was someone who I love deeply and would be my way into the family, but I didn't yet know if she felt the same way about me. If she didn't, then that would be the end of my hopes to become part of a family who I revered and built a fantasy about being a member.

Knowing Madison had already accepted me to join her group and that it seemed I got Nick out of captivity, I introduced myself to Nick and hoped to win his acceptance.

„Nick, are you Nick Clark?"

Nick's eyebrows drew closer together to form a perplexed frown. „Yeah I'm Nick Clark," responded the young man.

Confirming my hunch that this man really was Nick Clark, I threw out my open hand avidly, „I'm Mikhail, Mikhail Romanenko."

Nick didn't take my hand straight away, he continued to frown at me suspiciously until he slowly took my hand and shook it unenthusiastically, „Hi Mikhail." When we released Hands, Nick's frown remained on his face and his eyes peered into mine.

„That accent… are you German?" guessed Nick.

„Nyet, I'm Russian," I clarified.

„Oh Russian, didn't expect to see a Russian at a time like this."

„Well it sure feels like being a celebrity being the only Russian."

This did bring a smile on Nick's face, which did the same for me. It was true, being the only Russian around in a foreign place made me feel illustrious. It was one of those times it sure felt good to be a Russian, knowing people around you were interested in your presence.

„Would you excuse me Mikhail?" requested Nick, leaning towards me, „Family talk."

„Okay," I responded, feeling wounded by Nick mentioning „family" and excluding me, but I respected his right to talk to his family alone.

I watched in the distance, he looked concerned and agitated, which I was trying to figure out why. Surely he knows that I have rescued him, but I'm not sure what I did along the way to cause him to become wary of me.

Watching Nick speak privately with his family (including the Hispanic lady who I'm sure wasn't part of the family) reminded me of the first time Matt made me feel ignored. Ever since Matt and I begun high school together, we became intrigued by a group of friends. All members of the group were black and were always immersed in conversation and acting very boisterous and vigorous. One of those members of the group who turned out to be Marc Antony, welcomed both Matt and I into the group. Everything went well at first, but then I started to feel left out. I wasn't getting much attention as I hoped, they never asked me any questions about myself, it was Matt that got asked questions. When I did try to take part in the conversation, everyone went quiet and turned back to each other and resumed talking. I started to get annoyed and angry, putting it down to the fact I was caucasian when everyone else was black. This assumption that this was a racial separation, I turned round and walked away not hearing anyone not even Matt's voice call out my name and asking me where I was going.

„Is everything okay Mikhail?" Travis' voice boomed in my ear behind me.

„Da, I just wonder what is wrong with Nick. He seems to be suspicious of me."

„Mikhail I don't know how to say this but... you were acting strangely when you got back. You were cold and unresponsive."

„Really?"

„Yeah, you were a complete different person. You looked like you were going to lash out."

Knowing that I was close to hurting Alicia and her family made my stomach flip and my whole body quiver.

„I don't know what happened, I walked towards the base and the next thing I know, I returned to you with Nick and this other lady whose name I don't know."

„We'll get to the bottom of it, but right now, we need to get out of here."

„That's probably a good idea," I conceded.

All of a sudden the Hispanic woman collapsed to the ground and was passed out. Everyone including Nick gathered around her, even Travis ran past me to tend to her.

„What's her name?" asked Travis, looking at Nick.

„Luciana," responded Nick.

„Luciana, it's going to be okay, just stay with us and you'll survive," soothed Travis, kneeling over her. Travis would instruct Nick to get the medical supplies from the car. I contributed by giving Travis my medical supplies to heal Luciana, but after I did, I wasn't required for any further assistance. Already feeling rejected from the group, I checked the items I collected while in the base.

I don't know how I got them, but I knew they were on the checklist. They were photos, a note book and a tape recording. I placed these items in a tight well concealed pouch, which was attached to another one of those air-balloons. I inflated the air-balloon, which instantly stopped the conversation between Nick and his family as they turned their attention to the balloon rising in the air, dragging its contents in the pouch.

„What was that?" asked Nick.

„Just a special delivery I had to make," I quipped, hoping to make Nick laugh too which he didn't, he just looked at me with a blank stare. He then turned his attention back to Luciana who was still unconscious and being treated by Travis.

Travis patched her up and stood up looking down at her, this was a sign that Travis had saved Luciana. It really surprised me to see that Travis was rather skilled in first aid, I only knew him as a good teacher who really knew how to keep me invested.

„Okay she's safe, she's alive, but she can't travel; well by car that is," said Travis, looking at the car.

„So this means we're going to have to abandon our only means of transportation?" disconcerted Nick.

„If you really want her to live, we're going to have to continue by foot," confirmed Travis.

Nick nodded and understood Travis' medical advice. We would then grab everything out of the car we needed for our journey. I helped Travis make a stretcher to carry Luciana, which was the safest way to carry her without subjecting her to any turbulence that could affect her condition or even kill her.

* * *

Travis and Nick carried Luciana on the stretcher while Alicia and Madison helped carry the supplies. I provided cover and lead the way, knowing I had the use of my GPS and my experience of surviving in the wilderness. Our plan was to go north and in a matter of days, reach the Canadian border, where we assumed it was safer and less inhabited by walkers.

When the sun was going down and it was getting dark, we all decided it would be best to camp the night. I recommended camping deep in the woods, down a steep slope where we would remain hidden from any intruders.

Alicia being the least attached to the group, decided to allocate herself the task with collecting firewood, which I volunteered to come along with her. To my shock, she seemed less enthusiastic when I offered to lend her a helping hand. She rather I stayed with her family, but unexpectedly changed her mind after looking at Nick and allowed me to come with her.

My alone time with Alicia wasn't the affable and social encounter I was hoping for, but rather disheartening and demeaning. I was picking up dry sticks while I saw Alicia just stand around and wonder her eyes around the area with her hands in her pockets.

„Aren't you going to help collect firewood, you want a hot meal don't you?" I asked Alicia cordially.

Alicia just looked me emotionlessly and responded, „Nah, you seem to be better at finding firewood than I am."

„Oh come on it's not hard, just pick up any piece of wood that is dry. I really could use another pair of hands here." By then I had already collected an armful of firewood.

„Well maybe we've got enough."

„You could never do with enough firewood, wood burns quickly, going to need fresh firewood to keep the fire going."

Alicia didn't respond, she just continued to stare at me.

„Tell you what, why don't you take the firewood back to camp and I'll continue to look for more wood?" I suggested, placing the bundle of firewood in Alicia's arms.

Alicia aggressively shoved the firewood back into my arms and snapped, „You take it, you found it."

„Alicia what's the matter?" I said, already shocked by her sudden change of attitude.

„I heard about what happened in the base between you and my brother."

„What… what did I do wrong?"

„He said you abandoned him and left him to be recaptured."

„Wait I… that was."

„You don't remember do you.. oh wait there's more. He said you pointed a gun at him."

Hearing this pushed the air out of my lungs and rendered me breathless and unable to formulate my response.

„Alicia I would never do that, trust me… it's just that… well I blacked out."

Alicia looked at me suspiciously displaying signs that she didn't believe me.

„Right... blacked out… that's a good one."

„Alicia you have to believe me, I would never hurt you, your mother or your brother. I want to help."

„Well you didn't help after you swore to my mum you would rescue Nick."

„Alicia I'm sure I remember going into the base with the pure intention of saving your brother."

„I thought you said you blacked out."

„I did, it's just I don't know how and when, maybe it was…" I struggled to complete my sentence and declare my innocence to Alicia.

„I know, cat got your tongue. It's okay, I believe you blacked out and I understand you got a problem. However, this doesn't mean I can trust you again." Alicia walked closer to me with angry eyes and words she growled out of her closed jaw. „If I ever catch you doing something like that to my brother, mum or Travis, I will fucking kill you. Believe me, I killed someone before and I would do it again."

I'm not going to lie, but I was intimidated by Alicia's threat and the discovery she killed someone. I acted passive and tried to appease Alicia still looking mad at me.

„I understand."

„Good," responded Alicia, as she turned around and walked away.

Watching Alicia walk away knowing she had just scolded me over something I was shocked to hear about, immediately caused me to drop the firewood, drop to my knees and cry.

* * *

„Hey Mikhail what's the matter?" toned Travis' voice and I looked up to see a blurry image of him with tears moist in my eyes. I saw Travis kneel beside me and put his arm around me. „What happened Mikhail? We expected you to be back by now."

„Alicia scorned me, she thinks I'm trying to hurt her and her family."

„Mikhail," said Travis sympathetically, grabbing some dry leaves and handing them to me. „Here, wipe your face."

I wiped my face and looked at Travis whose face was looking at me with a maudlin expression. „Alicia hates me, and I'm sure Madison and Nick are starting to."

„Mikhail, they don't hate you. They are just getting to know you. Even though you let them down once, I'm sure you can find a way to prove to them your worth."

„I pointed a gun at Nick."

„I know, Nick told us and Madison I will admit was shocked and appalled when she heard that, but I told Nick that you saved us back in Mexico."

„But I blacked out and could have killed Nick during my black out."

Travis pulled me closer to him, I could feel my shoulder press into his chest, it was almost like a hug; a father's hug.

„Mikhail, whatever those blackouts were, we will find out what causes them. Please have patience, I believe in you, you were my best student. You were the reason why I liked doing what I was doing, you made me feel that what I was doing was not a waste of time and that you took me seriously."

„Thank you Travis, I always looked forward to your class. My English would never have improved without you."

„Your English is impeccable. Every test you carried out and there wasn't one single spelling or grammatical error. You didn't need me to teach you anything, you taught me."

This filled me with fresh confidence and feel good about myself again, kind of a nostalgic feeling of being back in school with my favorite teacher.

„I'm worried how Alicia, Madison and Nick will react when we get back."

„Mikhail… it will be okay. Madison and I had fallouts, she went as far as thrashing me, but we all worked it out in the end. Besides, she likes you. When I reminded her of your heroic deed, her confidence in you was restored. I'm sure Alicia and Nick will trust you again, just give them time and I'm sure they'll start talking to you again."

„Okay let's go," I stood up as Travis stood up too. I started recollecting the firewood I dropped.

„Why don't you cook us something Russian, I don't think I ever had Russian food before."

I laughed and bantered, „Well I might not have everything I need to make my favorite dish, but we'll see what we got and what I can do."

This made Travis smile as we walked back to join the others.

* * *

When we got back, I acted normal and avoided eye contact with the Clarks. I made a fire and prepared to cook dinner. What was left in my field rations was quick and easy to make borscht (beetroot soup) and a small loaf of zavarnoy bread. When it was hot and ready to serve I was nervous when handing Alicia her soup, she stared into my eyes still looking distrustful towards me. I tried not to look at her while she was eating, but on one occasion I did look at her and I could see she was looking at me. As soon as my eyes met hers, she looked down into her soup and continued to eat.

Everyone seemed to like the soup, well I saw them finish it all. Whether they liked it or not was out was out of the question, in a time like this you have to get used to eating things you don't like to eat.

Luciana was still unconscious as Nick was sitting next to her while Travis checked on her condition. I pondered whether she would make it out of this or she might slow us down. Nonetheless, I wanted to try and earn Nick's respect and trust by helping who I assumed to be his girlfriend.

I was surprised that Madison or anyone brought up the topic of my mysterious blackouts, maybe they were too tired and hungry to bring that into discussion. I thought it was best to give it time and let it pass.

Everyone was tired and wanted to go to Sleep, as I volunteered to take the night watch while everyone sleeps around the fire. I kept awake while everyone was asleep, my AK was ready in my hand and I kept my eyes and ears open for anything suspicious that could be approaching.

* * *

My eyelids were getting heavy and I considered going to sleep too, but before then, I decided to have a cigarette before bed. Resting my AK on my lap and having a cigarette, I looked at Alicia sleeping on a sleeping bag cuddled up with Madison who was behind her. I saw how beautiful she looked while she was asleep, her serene skin illuminated in the bright orange fire, it was enough to make me cry. She was a real sleeping beauty who I wished I could kiss and awaken her. Even her lips looked so enticing, the light from the fire made her lips look like gold, it intensified my urge to kiss her. My first compulsion was to stroke her beautiful sleeping face so delicately and then kiss her lips and hope she wakes up to find her prince hovering above her.

I heard the sound of an owl flutter away and crickets ceasing their chirping. This was an obvious sign that someone or something disturbed their private space and there were intruders slowly approaching.

I threw my cigarette into the fire, got up and stamped out the fire with my feet, which instantly woke everyone up.

„Mikhail what's wrong?" wondered Travis.

„Someone's here, stay quiet and don't make a sound," I ordered, standing in front of my allies like a protector willing to take a bullet would. I tightened my hand around the hand-guard and my finger around the trigger. My shoulders were loose and I entrusted my senses and allowed them to direct me to the target.

A bright flash exploded and blanked my vision, seeing nothing but white and feeling it burn my eyes. At the same time I threw up my hands and had my AK pointed at a target, I knew because I could sense muscle tensions on my face and a bullet tip aimed at my face. I was surrounded by other men because I could feel parts of my body reacting to bullets that were intended for me. It felt like my skin brushed against stinging nettles and my little body hairs were standing on end. I knew that I could take out one target and would have to dodge the gunfire, but I was worried incase Alicia and her family would get caught in the crossfire, I could not allow that.

My vision did recover and I could see I was surrounded by shadowed men who stood in between the lights that assaulted my face. I breathed normally and prepared to open fire.

„Drop it now asshole," toned a sly voice of a male. I wasn't looking at him, but I knew he stood to my right holding a pistol and was only five feet from me.

If I wanted to I could use the male at the side of me as a human shield and maybe demand his men to drop their weapons and avoid a massacre, but that would prove risky because he would order his men to shoot at Alicia and her family. Besides, I wanted to prove to Alicia and her family that I wasn't a violent ruthless brute, but a good natured gentle person I always wanted to prove myself to Alicia.

I removed my finger from the trigger, lowered my AK and dropped It to the ground and prepared to do what I was told to do.

„Very good, now turn and face me," commanded the male voice,

I turned around and saw a young man in a camouflaged uniform (boiler suit), obviously a soldier. His hair was thick brown and wavy and glossed in the light he stood in. He had blue eyes, a small straight-bridged nose and a small mouth with thin lips. The way he looked at me was menacing and did haunt me with how familiar he looked to me. He must be someone I knew, I remember those eyes back in LA, eyes that had their sights on me and were obscured by a gas-mask. Surely it can't be…

„Hey I know you… you're that Russian. Yeah it's you, the one from the hospital in LA," the man lowered his gun, placed his fingers on his forehead and threw his eyes down on the ground. „Oh my god what is your name I forgot… Miroslav, Mirko, Misha?"

He went through a list of Slavic names beginning with ‚M' which didn't come close to sounding like my name, until I decided to give him my name, „Mikhail, your name is Troy."

Troy's face froze and turned into a mixed expression of disapproval for not allowing him to guess my name and flattery, „Mik-Kyle right. You remembered my name, I'm touched… no seriously I really am. I wanted to guess your name and you guessed mine, I don't know how to respond to that."

„Maybe we can talk about letting my friends go and taking me instead," I suggested, hoping this would win back the respect of the Clarks.

„Hey, you're in no position to make any demands here. Besides, I think we want to take all of you in. Who knows, I think you're going to love your new home," smirked Troy.

„Mikhail?" emanated another male voice from afar, which brought me back to hospital where I woke up from. I turned around and I saw what I hoped to see, it was Troy's brother, Jake Otto. „Mikhail, I didn't expect to see you," effused Jake, giving me his hand as I shook it.

„Well where there is Troy I expected to see you," I bantered, trying to add humor in our unexpected reunion.

„Mikhail what the hell happened to your face?" Jake looked shocked, as he adhered his eyes on the right side of my face.

„That's what I was going to say, that's a serious burn there man," remarked Troy.

„I was in a car accident, I crashed my car and suffered a burn and laceration to my face. The next thing I knew, I woke up in hospital, which is the same hospital I met you both," I smiled, thinking back to the nostalgia.

„No wonder why you wore those bandages, probably didn't want people to see how hideous that looked," teased Troy with an evil smile.

„Troy, don't be an asshole. The poor man suffered a serious injury, he could have died," rebuked Jake.

„I'm just saying, he's probably insecure about his looks," soothed Troy. Suddenly Troy's eyebrows drew closer together and his nostrils widened into two big holes, he was smelling something. He leaned his face towards me and smelt my shoulder with a long deep whiff. He drew his head back and suspected, „I know that smell, the stench of nicotine. The same stench I smelt back at base." Troy stepped back and drew his pistol at me, looked at me angrily and accused, „It was you, you were that sneaky rat that infiltrated my base, stole my notebook and killed my men."

„Troy put the gun down, maybe it's not him. That could have been any of our men, some of them smoke too you know," placated Jake.

„No Jake, it's definitely him. I've been around plenty of smokers to know the different brands of tobacco. The tobacco our friend recently smoke matches the same one I smelt back at base."

„Look even if it was him he must have had a reason why he was there."

„Yeah to steal from us and kill some of our men in the process."

„Nyet, I was there to rescue Nick, I did it for his family," I interjected.

„Is that all, you sure it wasn't you who stole my notebook?" interrogated Troy.

„Okay I admit I stole it, I attached it to the balloon and let it float away," I admitted, hoping it would appease Troy.

„So that's what that balloon was. Good you are telling me the truth, so who are you delivering the notebook to?"

„Look Troy, why don't we get back to the ranch, we can take care of it from there," pleaded Jake to Troy.

„Oh okay, my arm is getting tired anyway," said Troy, lowering the pistol and beckoning with his head, „It's a long way to the ranch, I suggest we camp here for the night."

I felt relieved knowing that there was no longer going to be a firefight and no one had to die tonight.

I was tied to a tree and watched by well disciplined soldiers who sat opposite me and aimed their rifles at me. While sitting against the tree with a rope wrapped so tightly around my body, I caught glimpses of Alicia with Jake, who was talking to her. He even put his hand on her shoulder, it seemed he was trying to comfort her. Seeing Alicia returning a smile aroused new feelings I felt for Jake, someone who I considered my friend was trying to move in on Alicia. I hated to admit it, but I was getting jealous of my friend, I just hope it doesn't lead to a rift between Jake and I.

* * *

I was able to get some sleep and wake up the next morning and be greeted by Troy, who ordered his men to untie me. Once the ropes were off, I felt bruised and a rush of blood go to my head, the tightness must have hindered my blood circulation. Looking around I could see my companions and the soldiers gathering their belongings and preparing to move out.

„Hey Mikhail, you want to ride with me?" offered Jake.

Before I could accept Jake's offer, Troy intervened, „Oh no he doesn't, he rides with me." Troy threw his arm around me, „I want to get to know him better, maybe Mik-Kyle and I will will become good friends."

Jake just stood there and nodded in approval as Alicia and Madison joined him by his side. Seeing that Alicia was going to be riding with Jake did make me feel jealous of him, knowing he was going to be getting acquainted with her. I abated my jealously with the idea and comprehension that Alicia probably does need time away from me if I'm to win back her trust. Making no objection, I pulled out a cigarette and decided to have a smoke to repel my anxiety and envy.

„You need a light Mikhail?" asked Jake.

„Nyet thank you Jake," I pulled out my light with the cigarette dangling in my mouth, „I got one."

Jake gave me a thumbs up before he turned and walked to his landrover with Alicia and Madison. I lit the cigarette and before I could have a real drag and fill my lungs with the sweet intoxicating nicotine, my cigarette was yanked from my mouth.

„No smoking in the car," scolded Troy, throwing the cigarette onto the ground and stamping it out. It mortified me to see the spilt tobacco and thought what a waste of a cigarette that was. My hands were bound from behind and I was pushed from behind by a soldier towards a landrover with the back-passenger door open, waiting for me to get in and be taken away.

Once I was in, I was sat in the middle next to soldiers who were obviously there to make sure I don't escape or thrash around in the car. I tried to be cooperative and submitted myself as their prisoner. A sack was placed over my head. It was obvious they didn't want me to know where I was being taken. Having the sack over my head was really uncomfortable, it was hot, itchy and I found it hard to breathe.

* * *

The car did eventually stop and I heard the sound of metallic gates open and the car continued to accelerate forward, I assumed I was at the ranch finally. The unexpected acceleration at a spasmodic movement and lack of oxygen almost caused me to throw-up in the sack, but luckily I controlled the queasiness in my stomach.

The car pulled over and I was dragged out into the scorching sun. I could already feel the sweat dripping over my face profusely, I needed to wipe my face but my hands were tied. Two men dragged me by each arm and we up a steep hill until I found myself out of the sun and felt cool air, which I haven't felt since I've been surrounded by trees. A door opened and I was pushed through, I could sense I was standing on a wooden floor and the interior had air conditioning somehow.

„You can leave you two, I'll take it from here," said Troy. The two soldiers released my arms and I felt a strong grip on my arm and Troy's voice boom in my ear, „Lets go sunshine, the boss wants a word with you."

Troy lead me around the room until he pulled me down and I found myself sitting on a chair. The sack was pulled from my head and the sweat had already begun to sting my eyes, I could barely keep them open. My face was violently wiped by a tissue and absorbed all the sweat which smeared my face.

When my eyes readjusted and I could keep them open, I saw a man sitting at a desk looking at me. His eyes were gazing at me, two big brown staring, bulging eyes, staring at me like a dog. His top teeth flashed from under his top lip. His eyes were sunken in and he had wrinkles on his forehead. He had a big wide nose, almost looking like he had it broken a couple of times and required reconstructive surgery. His neck was wrinkly and had extra skin, which looked malleable, almost like play-dough. He was bald with short almost shaven white hair at the side of his head next to big ears, which weren't symmetric to the rest of his face. He looked in his late sixties and was on the verge of being unable to walk because of his slightly hunched back, which barely supported his head, it looked like it was about to sink in.

„Well hello stranger, you look like you've come a long way," greeted the old man.

„Save it dad, I didn't bring him all this way to be treated with our hospitality," said Troy, who stood by my left.

„What's this about Troy, why is our guest tied up and had a sack on his head?" asked the old man looking directly at his son.

„Well if you hear what a naughty boy he's been, there's a good reason for it."

„What did he do wrong?"

I heard footsteps behind me and Jake's voice, „Is this how you have to treat our guest? Cut him loose."

„Before we cut his bonds and give him a chance to earn our trust, perhaps our guest might want to introduce himself," proposed the old man leaning forward to place big wrinkly hands on the desk.

I let a moment of silence fill the room and looked at both Troy, Jake and the old man who all watched with eagerness and anticipation for me to introduce myself. „Mikhail, Mikhail Romanenko ," I introduced.

„Mik-Kyle ay, judging by your name and Accent, you must be Russian," assumed the old man.

„Da, I am Russian. What is your name if I may ask?"

„Jeremiah, Jeremiah Otto, these are my two sons Jake and Troy," introduced the old man.

„Da I met them."

„Well now we all know our names, lets cut your bonds and have a drink," suggest Jeremiah, slamming his hands on the desk and grabbing a bottle of scotch. „Unfortunately I have no vodka, do you like scotch?"

„Do you have any black tea?"

Jeremiah paused and looked at me, „What's the matter, can't you Russians have a little scotch? I know it's not vodka but it's strong potent stuff."

„It's too early in the morning to drink alcohol, besides, I'm not much of a drinker."

Jeremiah placed the bottle back on the desk and scoffed, „Ah well suit yourself." He looked over my right shoulder and ordered, „Troy, go into the kitchen and see if we have any black tea or I don't know, any tea. I'm sure he doesn't mind what color it is."

Troy walked away from me and marched into the kitchen. Jeremiah leant back on the backrest of his chair and looked at me with puzzled eyes.

* * *

Troy did come back with a mug with a bag floating in a transparent dark liquid. „O you do have black tea," I astounded.

„No we don't, I found it in your items," assured Troy with a sneering look. Troy walked to the right side of the desk and slumped a sack containing blocky items on the desk. „This is what he had on him, I think they might be of some importance."

Jeremiah opened up the back and dug his hand in, „Well let's see what we have in her." Jeremiah pulled out each item and placed it on the desk. „We have binoculars, a walkman, a strange looking thingy here."

„It's a directional microphone dad," affirmed Troy.

Jeremiah continued to pull out every item in the bag, „Directional microphone and a walkie-talkie, unlike any walkie-talkie I've seen, must be Russian made." Jeremiah held the walkie-talkie in his hand and examined its complex looking exterior. „And last but not least… we have a... I don't know what this little thing is," Jeremiah held the GPS in his hands.

„That is a GPS," confirmed Troy.

„GP what?" baffled Jeremiah.

„GPS, global positioning system. It enables the user to locate and navigate anywhere on the globe, our Russian friend really is well equipped if you ask me," said Troy, holding the GPS in his hands and toggling at the buttons. He walked towards me and asked, „How do you change the language settings?"

I operated the buttons on the GPS and looked at the options on the screen which were in my language. „There aren't any language settings," I confirmed, handing it back to Troy.

„Well I hope you're telling the truth Mik-Kyle, you better hope I don't have a Russian dictionary in my possession, because if I find out you're lying you're in for it," threatened Troy, hovering over me with his face glaring at me.

„Hey no fighting you two. So tell me Mik-Kyle, what was it you were involved with that Troy is talking about?" asked Jeremiah.

„I don't know what he's talking about," I answered.

„Don't play dumb with me Russian, I know you were there," spat Troy down at me. He turned to look at his father and divulge, „He infiltrated my base, stole my notebook and killed my men."

„Is this true Mik-Kyle?" shocked Jeremiah.

„I really don't know, I think I went in and…"

„Killed my men, slaughtered them like cattle. You should have seen how he killed my men, cut their throats open leaving a large gash, they looked like Pez dispensers," interrupted Troy, trying to demonize me.

„Did you witness the killing?" wondered Jeremiah.

„Look dad, I know what happened might be true, but I know Mikhail; he's a good man, I'm sure he had a reason," defended Jake, which made me feel secure and protected from Troy's bullying.

„What, killing our men?" objected Troy.

„Well I'm sure he did it in self-defense."

„Okay let's not get into any arguments here, we need to decide what we should do with him," concluded Jeremiah.

„Well I know exactly what to do with him," suggested Troy, glaring at me with murderous eyes.

„Troy, don't you even think about it, I mean it," warned Jake, walking towards Troy, so close it looks like a fight would have broke out.

„Stop it boys," berated Jeremiah, he drew his eyes back to me, „Look Mik-Kyle, we can't let you stay here. I don't know what the full story is but my prime concern is the safety of the ranch. If you really are this killer that Troy has described you to be, I can't run the risk you pose to the residents living here."

„So what are we going to do, ask him to leave? I don't think so, he could infiltrate the ranch and kill us all," fretted Troy.

„Dad, he needs a place to stay. There must be someway we can help him. Just give him a chance to earn our trust," pleaded Jake.

Jeremiah locked his eyes on me, sealed his lips and stretched them into a wide skeptical grin. „Okay, we won't ask him to leave. We'll keep him close by, but he can't stay in the ranch, he's sleeping outside the ranch. He'll take on the regular duty as a guard and do menial and labour duties around the ranch. As payment for his services, he'll be fed and will sleep in a tent outside the ranch. The only rules I do have around here, he doesn't socialize with anyone on the ranch other than colleagues. He gets his revolver, with one bullet, which he will only use it for self defense purposes. Do we understand one another Mik-Kyle?" asked Jeremiah, looking stern.

„Da, I mean yes," I agreed.

„What about you boys?" asked Jeremiah.

„Okay," conceded Jake.

„Fine with me," agreed Troy apathetically.

„Good, show him the campsite Jake," commanded Jeremiah.

* * *

Upon leaving the house, I do remember looking at Troy who still looked like he didn't trust me and was about to kill me in cold blood. I could tell by the look in his eyes and how he had his hand on the holster on his hip.

Jake would lead me outside the ranch and set up a tent next to an abandoned wooden shelter, which had a roof and a long bench up against the wall. It almost looked like a bus shelter.

Jake did have conversation with me while setting up the tent. First of all he apologized how he failed to convince his father and brother to let me stay at the ranch. I assured him it was alright and he explained his father's attitude that he too wasn't too keen on Russians, and that he grew up having dreams about fighting the Russians should they have invaded America during the Cold War. This should have shocked me to know that Jeremiah is somewhat prejudice towards Russians, but I laughed that he had a wild fantasy that he would one day defend his country against a Russian invasion. Guess he's been watching too much Dr. Strangelove or what is that film called again, the one with Patrick Swayze and Martin Sheen?… Red Dawn.

Jake parted and notified me that dinner is served at 20:00 and he will personally bring me food, which I thanked him for.

When Jake was gone, I sat under the shelter and examined my revolver, I opened the revolving cylinder and examined the one bullet I was permitted to have. I placed it in the cylinder, closed it and rolled it and heard the round enter the chamber. I just looked at it and pondered my future at the ranch and how things would turn out with Alicia and I, would she forgive me and be on speaking terms or would she continue to ignore me? This got me deeply concerned, but I tried not to think about it too much, I need to be patient and confident and just give her a little more time. Be optimistic and act normal should our eyes ever meet again, then hopefully she'll bestow me with a friendly smile and that would be a sign that we can start over.

One thing I was allowed to keep, which wasn't among the items that were confiscated was my binoculars. With my binoculars I could use them to observe what's going on in the camp and hopefully see Alicia from afar.

I got out my binoculars, scanned around the camp with people either working, socializing or just walking from one place to another. After looking through the binoculars for a matter of minutes, I finally saw Alicia in my sights accompanied with her brother Nick. Together they were interacting and were looking ambivalent, as if it was their first day at school.

I zoomed in as close as I could on Alicia's face and observed her every move and facial expression. I never saw her smile as much, but that didn't matter. Even when she didn't smile, her beauty remained untarnished and elegant. I tried to lipread (my directional microphone was confiscated) as best as I could and hoped to decipher her body language what was really going on in her mind. Has she forgiven me, is she still distrustful and vigilant towards me?

Unfortunately I was forbidden to enter the ranch and approach her. I could only hope she comes to me and we can both reconcile. The question was if it was ever going to happen? Have I lost my chance with Alicia and she's going to move in on another man, maybe Jake for all I know? I didn't want to think about it, mustn't give up on hope. I still have a chance, it's not too late to prove to Alicia of my good intentions and commitment I would vow to her and her family.

I desensitized my paranoia by riveting on Alicia and telepathically saying to her, „Alicia, please don't be angry at me, please give me another chance. I will prove it that I'm loyal to you and your family. I would never hurt your brother or your mother, I would protect them and risk my life for you and for them. I love you Alicia, I love you with all my heart."

 **To be continued…**


	11. Chapter 11: Isolation

**Chapter 11: Isolation**

To live without hope is to cease to live.

 **\- Fyodor Dostoevsky**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 01.09.2010**

I had a long grueling and tiresome journey to be reunited with Alicia and the rest of the Clarks, only to get into a rift with them and to be separated. Being denied a place of residency in the ranch was the lowest point in my life, where I truly felt isolated and excluded. I also tried to see it as a positive to not inflict myself on others, but I couldn't help but feel that maybe this probably wasn't what was best for Alicia if I wanted to protect her from the danger that is me.

* * *

I sat underneath the shelter close to the main-gate that leads into the ranch, feeling alone and undisturbed for what I contemplated to do. The cigarette I was smoking I knew was going to be the last cigarette. It wasn't because it was the last cigarette I had, it was because I decided this would be the last one, and I will tell you why.

* * *

Before I found myself where I was having one last smoke before taking my most drastic action, I'm about to tell you my new life on the ranch.

My role was to be on guard duty and participate in agricultural and other labor that required my physique and energy. It was forbidden for me to have social interactions with other members of the ranch. I was to only act strictly on orders and only speak when spoken to. This did cause flashbacks when I was in private School, being taught how to be well disciplined, obedient and compliant.

Some workers did try talking to me and asking where I was from, but before I could give any answers, Troy; who was my Supervisor, intervened and reminded the worker that it was forbidden to talk to me. There was a part of me that wanted to build working relations with other workers, but part of me wanted to be left alone to work because I had too many troubles on my mind.

You might be wondering whether I saw Alicia around the ranch? Well the answer is I did on many occasions. Did our eyes ever meet? They did and it was hard to determine what Alicia's reaction was. There were no smiles, she just looked at me without a twitch of her lips. This neutral expression would cause me to worry about Alicia's reception of me, and if there ever will be a chance of reconciliation. If only I could read minds, but I couldn't, I was left to mull and suffer the ambiguity of Alicia's demeanor.

I could have tried greeting her, but my lips and mouth were too dry to utter anything. It was obviously nerves and the probability I would be given the cold shoulder or be verbally rejected. This would be enough to crush my spirits and feel defeated.

What hurt me the most was when I saw her look at Jake and how they both exchanged smiles and had small conversations before parting on good terms. These were interactions and relations I wanted with Alicia, but she wasn't going to bestow me with such fervency.

I concluded that the best thing to do would be to avoid making eye contact with Alicia and not torture myself and be reminded what I was denied. This did help, but made me appear cold and mysterious to the girl who I wanted so desperately to be mine.

You might be wanting to know if I told anyone else about Alicia? Well there would be Travis who approached me shortly after I got settled into my new accommodation.

* * *

„Hey Mikhail," greeted Travis who was standing behind the barbed wire and wooden fence.

„Hi Travis," I greeted back, walking up to him.

We both sat underneath the shelter and engaged in friendly conversation.

„You want some black tea Travis?"

„No I'm good thank you, I just came to see how you were doing."

„Well I'm coping is what I can say, I guess I get to sleep under the stars, unlike those inside the ranch."

„Yeah lucky you, I'm not exactly keen on the wooden huts. They are a little stuffy and musty, but I guess we will be safe from mosquito attacks."

Travis and I both laughed amusingly, but then Alicia intruded its way into my thoughts, which faded my smile and sunk my heart.

„Hey what's wrong Mikhail?" Travis rubbed my back.

„Alicia is still mad at me," I mourned.

„No Mikhail, I think she just has her doubts about you and needs more time away from you. Just give her space and eventually you'll notice a change."

„I just want to show her my good intentions and earn her respect."

„What is it that interests you in Alicia?"

„Well it's just… I like her."

Travis' eyes aimed at me suspiciously and he frowned, noticing my guilty look.

„You have feelings for her don't you?" asked Travis.

„Well I..." I couldn't hide it anymore from Travis and thought it would be a good idea to confess to him about my true feelings for Alicia. „It's true, I do have feelings for Alicia. I… I like her… no… I love her."

Travis' eyebrows raised and his eyes looked like two tiny blackholes. He inhaled through his nose and smacked his lips apart. „I see… part of me got the hint when I watched you looking at her when she was asleep."

„Travis, you were suppose to be asleep," I winged, nudging Travis with my elbow.

„I knew it, couldn't keep your eyes off her. Making googly eyes at her, smiling so vehemently and whispering at her." This made me blush and look away. „Oh you're blushing, you really do love Alicia."

This was the first time I ever seen Travis make a banter, because most of the time he was serious about everything, even when he was not teaching class.

„Da I was, guess I can't help myself," I admitted, feeling a sense of release having revealed to Travis my feelings for Alicia.

„Have you ever told Alicia how you feel?" asked Travis.

„Nyet I haven't."

„Well you need to tell her. Can't just wait too long otherwise she'll assume you're not interested."

„Da, but I don't know how. I don't know if she's interested."

„Well maybe it's because you act mysterious all the time, it gives her the impression you're trying to push her away, and you don't want that do you?"

„Nyet I don't, it's just I don't want to be too forward with her."

„You're not too forward if you just say ‚hello" to her, that's all you have to do and see what happens. You never know, you both might start a conversation and hit it off."

„Well we did have a conversation while you were refueling the car in Mexico."

„There you go, if you had one conversation then the chances of you becoming her new boyfriend are possible."

„What if she does move in on another man?"

„If she does then you're going to have to accept it."

I looked away from Travis, felt my throat swell and my eyes water, cogitating on the notion that Alicia would have eyes for someone and I would discover when I least suspect it. I was on the verge of crying, as I was rubbing my hands together. So hard, I could feel the friction burn.

„Hey Mikhail, don't worry about it too much, just be confident and always think positive. That's the person Alicia wants to see, not someone brooding all the time," encouraged Travis, rubbing my back and alleviating my emotional pain.

„You're right, I'm going to try and approach Alicia and ask her out."

„Good one Mikhail, even if she says no just say to yourself „At least I tried"."

I looked at Travis and we smiled at each other. I got out a cigarette and before I proceeded to light it, Travis heeded, „You might want to cut back down on cigarettes, Alicia probably wont like you smelling of nicotine all the time."

I lowered my arms down and clapped my lighter shut and thought about how smoking could ruin my image as well as health. Maybe I should consider quitting smoking for Alicia, I think she would appreciate it if I did so. After smoking so many cigarettes a day, I asked myself whether I liked the taste of tobacco anymore. Smoking a cigarette after a long withdrawal felt good, but smoking routinely just lost its taste and stimulation.

I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and held it in between my fingers. „Da you're right Travis, maybe I should cut back on these if I ever want to stand a chance with Alicia," I considered.

Travis smiled at me looking really pleased that I'm considering trying to quit smoking. That moment was interrupted by a loud clang at the gate.

„Hey, what were you told about socializing with the Russian? It's not permitted, move on," ordered Troy clapping his hands loudly.

„Sorry, I forgot," apologized Travis, getting up and turning to look at me, „Be strong Mikhail, you'll get through this, I know you will."

„Lets go," shouted Troy, clapping louder.

Travis walked through the open gate Troy was holding open. When Travis was already back in the ranch, Troy looked at me with cold eyes and reminded, „Work is waiting for you Mik-Kyle, put away that cigarette, get off your ass and come in… don't dawdle."

That was what I would consider the happiest moment at the ranch, having someone breaking the rules just to come and talk to me, knowing it was Travis. However everything would revert back to the way it was, as I remained a loner and a leper, and that would emotionally drain me until I became nothing but a hollow shell.

* * *

One thing I did was observe the ranch with my binoculars, which broke up the tedium of always being on guard duty and watching out for would be attackers. During nighttime, everyone was either in their huts or caravans, sometimes there would be people socializing around a camp fire. The only thing that caught my eye when observing the inner activities of the ranch was the sight of an elderly couple dancing. They both looked the same age and looked very frail, but they were able to stand on their own two feet and dance to what seemed like a slow tune. The way they looked at each other evinced that they truly loved one another and have done so for such a long time. I could only guess they are married and have been for many years. Seeing them dance and smiling at each other made me dream about Alicia and I should we become a couple and grow old together. I've heard that couples grow apart and get divorced because their love fades away, but seeing this elderly couple dance convinced me that love really can last forever, even in death; love remains immortal and eternal.

One fateful night I would be woken up to screaming coming from within the ranch. The smell of smoke filled the air and I saw the house they lived in was burning. The inmates gathered around the burning house but did nothing to put the fire out, they just let the house burn to the ground. It occurred to me the couple died in the house fire under an unknown cause. It pleased me to know that they both died together and I hoped they died really peacefully. Whatever happens between Alicia and I, I just hope we live our lives to the fullest, should we become a couple; grow old together and die together.

Still sitting with the same cigarette in my hand in my hand, the one I said will be the last. I don't remember how many drags I've taken. It had become a recent habit of mine, having little to no drags, I even let a cigarette burnout in my hand leaving just a long stick of ash. It turned out that nicotine was not enough to hold back the tears in my eyes and stop the swelling in my throat. Everything was going grey, there was no color or anything vibrant I could see with my eyes. Everything looked and felt languid and drab. I was a flower surrounded by weeds, inevitably waiting to wither out and die. I think before I divulge anymore details about my own hell and how it was slowly killing me, I will explain how it reduced me to this.

* * *

Reflecting on Travis' advice that I should just approach Alicia, I decided to pull myself together and march towards her and face my Destiny, regardless of what the outcome would be. I saw Alicia on a hill in front of Jake's private house. Knowing that Alicia was there for Jake, did cause me to feel a sharp pang in my chest, which felt like I got stabbed with a long inch knife. I watched Alicia enter the house and I decided to follow her in.

I didn't know whether I was going to call her name or just continue following her behind. Instead of calling her name, I decided to follow her all the way into the house and watch her climb the stairs. This did make me feel dirty and like a stalker, but I was compelled and overwhelmed by curiosity to keep following her until she was at the top of the stairs, as I sat in the middle of the stairs listening in.

I heard Jake and Alicia talk, their conversation involved Alicia confiding in Jake her feelings about past events and other skepticisms. It was hard to say this but Jake was comforting Alicia and asking if she was okay, which made me assume he too had attraction for Alicia. In the middle of their short conversations, I did peek behind the banister and saw them together, they got really close to each other and were looking eye to eye.

Suddenly and spontaneously, Alicia threw herself at Jake and wrapped her lips around his. This spectacle hit me right in the stomach and left a big gaping hole in my chest. It was the most painful thing I ever had to endure, it made me both mentally and physically sick.

I had to get away, I had to get out of here, but I was fighting an invisible force that was pinning me to the stairs. My whole body felt paralyzed, it took more than one attempt to get my legs moving and quietly sneak my way downstairs.

When I was finally out and free from the torture of hearing Alicia and Jake make out, I could barely walk, let alone stand on my own two feet. Only a few steps and I fell onto my knees, I couldn't feel the pain in my knees when I hit the ground, the pain of feeling my heart being torn into pieces and blocked out any other physical pain.

This was it, Alicia had chosen her man, she wants to be with Jake and not me. The whole journey was in vain, I travelled all that way for nothing. I had my chance with Alicia and I botched it, all because of my dark mysterious side I knew nothing about, only the fact my other side was a callous killer. No wonder why she and her family hate me and want to avoid me, they know what I am and what I could be and why they wanted nothing to do with me.

What also hurt was that seeing Jake with Alicia and being the man to win her heart felt like it was Matt all over again. My friendship with Matt was damaged, partly because he was going out with Alicia, and now Jake who I considered a friend was now the one going out with Alicia. Why does there have to be love? Damn it to hell, it causes nothing but give you false hopes and ruin friendships.

* * *

As much as I wanted to be away from Jake and conceal my inconsolable envy of him, he did visit me the following evening with my dinner. Jake did kindly invite me to hang out with him, but I humbly with the best of my acting skills declined his offer and made up an alibi, which he bought and accepted my wishes.

Before he turned round and left, I saw somber expression on his face. He had puppy dog eyes which looked sad.

„Jake," I called out to him.

Jake turned back to look at me and respond, „Yes Mikhail?"

I was about to ask him to treat Alicia well and that he's the right person for her, but then I hesitated, „Nothing… thank you for dinner."

„You're welcome Mikhail," responded Jake, as he turned round to walk away.

Once Jake was gone and out of my sight, I tipped the food away without looking at it. I wasn't hungry, I was too sick to the stomach to consume anything. Looking at my plate which was just a smear of thick red sauce, I reflected on my disrespectful action to throw away food that was meant for me knowing that Jake brought it all the way here to give to me. This reminded me the time I was at a diner back in LA where I ate regularly.

Normally I didn't eat at home because it was either my grandma who cooked for me when she visited or I just grabbed myself something out of the fridge or cupboards to snack on. My father got cranky when I tried cooking in the kitchen, mainly because he thought I wasn't cooking anything for him or he thought I was messing around and could burn the kitchen down. Eating out was one way I could escape his verbal abuse and get something to eat.

On this occasion things would turn out different. Being a regular customer I was warmly greeted by the same middle-aged lady who knew my name and I knew hers, mainly because she wore a name tag. I sat at the counter like I always did and made my order with a smile and amiable manner. The lady went into the kitchen, assuming she was going to cook my food herself.

Minutes after she disappeared into the kitchen, I saw Alicia and Matt walk into the diner. They didn't approach me or even greet me, instead, they just sat at one of the booths. I heard their flirtatious and intimate conversation, which caused my stomach to shrivel, kill my appetite and reduce me to tears of envy and abandonment. I couldn't stay there for another minute, I just dug in my wallet and blindly threw whatever notes I had on the counter, got off my stool and hurried out of the diner. Before I threw the door open, I heard the lady behind me call out, „Hun… your food." It was too late, I was outside and far away from the diner with tears sullying my face and sobbing.

That was one of the many things I did which I live to regret, I probably hurt someone who really cared about me who cooked me a meal and I just walked out. To this day I wonder what happened to her during the apocalypse, did she survive or did she die during the massacre? I just hope I haven't broken her spirit and destroyed her kind nature and she has already forgiven me.

This would only be the start of my change of attitude, where I went from being friendly, altruistic and supportive to bitter, abrasive and cynical.

* * *

While I was relaxing and wallowing in my own loneliness with a cigarette in my hand, I was disturbed by a fly buzzing around. The fly did swarm around near my face and clung to my face, until I would flick out my hand to fend off the fly. It persisted to harass me until I snapped and grabbed the fly. Taking a drag I blew smoke into the hand where I trapped the fly and remarked, „Welcome to my hell." Trapping the fly in my hand to let it suffocate, I recounted the people back in LA who I hurt and would regret. Some of these people were people who liked me and wanted to be associated with me, but I turned them away rather bluntly and curtly. I can't remember all their names, but I can remember the event.

There were those who saw me walk by and greeted me, but I didn't greet back, I just walked away. One female student who was supporting Marc Antony's campaign to win the school election was running a booth to get signatures. She offered me a beautiful made cupcake which I declined and told her to shove it and walked away. I wasn't proud to have said it, but I was proud to know that I didn't give into the bribe to submit my signature. Mainly because I hadn't forgot the incident where Marc Antony got his stooges to ambush me, plus I hated him for stealing Matt away from me.

The one who I most regret shunning was Travis' son, Chris. I remember helping Chris by privately tutoring him and he mistranslated our short-lived acquaintanceship as a real friendship. During our private tutoring sessions, I only tried to be polite and nice, but I wanted to keep it professional. When our private-tutoring ended and Chris' grades were back on track, he made many attempts to approach me and hangout with me, oblivious to the fact I wanted to be left alone because I was already going through a hard time. After failing to get the hint and being persistent, I broke and told him bluntly and sternly that we were never friends and I wanted nothing to do with him. This erased the smile of Chris' face, his face turned to shock then he curled his lips as they begun quivering. His eyes blinked sporadicly and he turned around and stormed off. My heart sank to my stomach and I felt guilty. I wanted to call out his name and apologize for upsetting him, but before I could do that, he was already out of my sight. That was the last time I ever saw Chris, well talked to him that is. I saw him getting onto the boat with his father and the Clarks. I was surprised Travis never brought up his name and that was something I never wanted to do, because I didn't want to reopen Travis' wound in case he did lose Chris. Part of me was relieved that Chris never gave my name to Travis and told him about me rejecting him, because I'm sure that would have caused tension between us.

Looking back at my clenched hand knowing the fly was in their probably asphyxiating, I felt a bit of remorse for the tiny critter and opened my hand. The fly didn't move but after a couple of seconds it just flew away and never bothered me again. I thought about what the fly's intentions were, maybe it came to keep me company and I resorted to torture the fly just to give it the hint that I wanted to be alone.

„Hey dip-shit," said Troy, kicking my leg, it snapped me out of my reverie. „What are you doing dosing off when we have visitors at the gate?" reproached Troy. I didn't answer him, I just looked at him expressionless. „What.. what's the problem?" asked Troy, „Stop looking at me like that, I know what you're thinking." Troy pulled a pistol out of his holster and pointed it at me. Looking down the barrel and looking into Troy's eyes knowing he was serious about pulling the trigger, didn't intimidate me. Troy frowned and was confused why I didn't flinch. „What's wrong with you, are you not afraid to die?" baffled Troy, putting the gun back in the holster. „If you died, it wouldn't matter. No one would miss you. Everyone back in the ranch only cares about one thing, survival. We give them food and shelter and in an Exchange, we ask for their services when we need them. You have your duty and you carry it out in return for food and shelter, if you don't do your Duty, you get nothing," preached Troy, who paused, turned to face me and moved closer to my face. „If you want to die be my guest, no one's giving you permission to live," said Troy, as he walks through the open gate and closes it behind him.

I thought back on Troy's dispiriting and cold-hearted words about my death having no impact on anyone. You know, maybe he was right, it wouldn't matter if I was alive or dead. In fact the idea of being better off dead was something I contemplated after having a nightmare that incited me to do should all else fail.

* * *

My nightmare begun when I was in the tent reading a book which was a Russian-Orthodox bible, which I could never part with (being a present from my grandma) so I brought it with me. Unexpectedly a shadow blocked my light and I saw a human shadow at the entrance of my tent. The shadowy figure opened the zip and I neared my hand to the revolver lying beside me. I assumed that if the approacher was hostile then I would be attacked from behind or at the side of the tent. I allowed the figure to enter and show its face and I noticed it was a female, a young female and someone who I was familiar with. As soon as I saw her eyes and lips, I knew it was Alicia.

„Alicia, what a pleasant surprise. Why have you?…" I was about to ask before Alicia cut me off by placing her finger on my lips. She pressed her forehead against mine and whispered, „Mikhail please, it's been so long. You've been alone and it's so unfair you're being treated like this."

„Alicia about the whole thing with Nick, I…"

„Mikhail no, stop thinking of all the bad things. It happened, let it go. I want to move on and get to know each other better."

„Alicia I really need to tell you something, I lo…" Alicia pulled off my shirt and pushed me onto my back.

„I know Mikhail," smiled Alicia, taking off her shirt too showing me her bra. She had modest humble looking bosoms which fit her bra. Alicia tickled my belly with the back of her fingernails it made my stomach muscles twitch. She unbuckled my belt and unzipped my flies.

„Alicia don't you think this is a little too forward, I mean we just got to know each other and now you're…."

Alicia placed her finger on my lips and seductively whispered, „Just want you to relax, trust me… it will feel good."

I played along and baffled why Alicia hasn't kissed me yet and was already treating me with sexual pleasure, despite I didn't feel comfortable and ready for sex. I wanted to ask her to stop, but I didn't want to offend her.

„Close your eyes baby," ordered Alicia, which I voluntarily did and allowed her to keep on tickling me sensually. I closed my eyes and pretended to enjoy it, but in fact I was only tolerating it. I could feel pleasure but at the same time I felt violated and scared about losing my virginity.

After I felt her hand slowly glide down my chest, I heard the jangle of something metallic. I opened my eyes and I saw Alicia had a Balisong butterfly knife. She raised it above her head and I begged, „ALICIA DON'T." Alicia didn't listen, she tried to plunge the knife into my chest, but I blocked her attack and unwittingly diverted the knife into her chest. Alicia's eyebrows raise, her eyes were in a dead stare and her mouth gaped open. Her breathing was intermittent and she collapse to the floor beside me. I turned over and saw Alicia had blood dripping from the side of her mouth.

„Alicia nyet please, please I didn't mean it. Please don't die, don't die on me Alicia. I didn't want it to be like this," I beseeched, feeling really panicky and trying to stop the blood seeping out of her chest.

Alicia's eyes blinked and she looked at me and tried to grab my face. „Mikhail," rasped Alicia.

„Da Alicia, what is it?"

I saw Alicia's lips were turning blue and she was going pale. Her lips moved and she uttered, „You need to die." Alicia's eyes rolled upwards and her last breath emitted from her mouth and I knew she was dead.

„Alicia nyet, please come back. Please Alicia, I need you, I didn't want it to be like this. I just wanted us to be together, together forever. Please Alicia, I promised to take care of you. Please come back, Alicia… I love you," I cried my eyes out and stroked Alicia's face. Tears dripped on her face and the tears blurred my sight, I buried my face in Alicia and cried over her lifeless body.

Next thing I knew I was discovered by some guards and was dragged into the camp. There I would see Madison crying over her daughter's body with Nick by her side crying too.

After Madison ceased crying and wiped her face with her arm, she looked at me. The look of anger and scorn distorted her face, as her nostrils widened and her lips disappeared and became nothing but a long horizontal slit. Her fists clenched and trembled as she paced towards me.

„Madison please I can explain," I begged, but I felt Madison's fist strike me hard it knocked me to the ground and I was blind in one eye. „Madison I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

„Don't even speak Mikhail. You killed my daughter, you killed my baby girl," growled Madison.

„It was an accident, I didn't mean it. I love your daughter, I really do," I continued to cry and look at Madison shake her head in anger and bite her teeth together. She charged at me, grabbed me by the collar and repeatedly punched me.

„You fucking bastard, you disgusting piece of shit. You can never love anyone. You're a murderer, a cold heartless murderer," cursed Madison, punching me after each word she snarled through her teeth. I was expecting her to bring up my ethnicity as a means to condemn me, but she didn't. I knew she wasn't a racist even if she wanted to be.

„I think Mik-Kyle knows the penalty for murdering one of our inmates… death," smirked Troy, not showing sympathy over Alicia's death, but smug about my impending death. Troy gets out my revolver and loads a round into the cylinder. He hands Madison the revolver and instructs, „Now you want to shoot him right in the head, that way you'll kill him and he won't turn."

„I know how to kill him, thank you Troy," said Madison, looking at me with contempt as she marches towards me with the gun dangling at her hip. She aims the gun at me and presses the barrel hard into my forehead. By this point I couldn't feel my face anymore, it was numb and swelled from all the punches Madison has inflicted on me.

I looked into Madison's eyes, which reminded me of Alicia. I had no resentment towards her, but love and respect that I always had for her and always will. I accepted my fate and Madison's reason to hate me and wanting me dead.

„Do it Madison, please kill me, I deserve to die. It's the only way I can't kill anyone anymore. Do it Madison, it's okay… I forgive you," I coaxed, feeling a tear roll down my face and waited for Madison to deliver me the bullet that would end my life.

Madison did not pull the trigger, she removed the barrel from my head, looked at me and dropped the gun at my knees. „Do it yourself," ordered Madison cold-heartedly. She walked back to Troy who was standing with Nick and observing me kneeling on the ground. I picked up the gun and without any hesitation or reluctance, I placed the long heavy barrel in my mouth and pulled the trigger. I heard a loud bang and a powerful impact that travelled up my mouth and pounded its way out of my skull. My eyes were still open and I collapsed sideways to the ground unable to move.

Madison walked up to me and looked down at me. Expressionless with nothing but a blank stare, she spat at me. A shower of saliva exploded from her lips and rained down on me. I felt like Jesus on the cross, despite Madison's disrespect and hatred towards me and knowing she spat on my corpse, I forgave her and still loved and respected her. A tear leaked from my eye, ran over the bridge of my nose and slivered down my cheek and onto the ground. I saw Madison turn her back to me, walk to Nick and watched them embrace and cry in each other's arms. I wanted to smile, but I couldn't. I wanted Madison and Nick to be okay and not let the death of their daughter, which I caused affect their lives. I was dead now and I will soon be forgotten about while they go on with their own lives and live on as happy as they can, they both deserve it.

* * *

Suddenly I woke up sweating profusely and panting for breath. I felt my face and it felt normal, no signs of swelling or a fractured skull. I was still alive and so was Alicia, which I was relieved to know. This relief would be short lived as I would remain in a doldrum and catatonic state, reflecting on my nightmare and worrying if this nightmare was a sign of what could happen. Soon when I finally was able to move my body freely, I made the decision that this was going to be the day I die.

* * *

Well that is my story, and why I'm here smoking my last cigarette and holding my revolver in my hand. The cigarette I've been smoking failed to provide me the stimulation and pleasure I got from smoking. I took one last tasteless drag and flicked away the unfinished cigarette. I checked to see that there was a round in the chamber which there was, and I proceeded to go ahead and do what I had to do. I slowly and steadily raised the revolver to my open mouth and slid the barrel in. My mouth was only wide enough for the barrel to fit in as I could feel it against my teeth. I had my finger on the trigger and the tip of my finger press firmly on the trigger. I could feel my breath down the barrel as I breathed in and out slowly to control my nerves and successfully commit suicide. This was it, the gun was in my mouth, there was a round in the chamber and my finger was on the trigger. Just one shot I could not miss, the stopping power of the revolver would kill me for sure. The devastation of the bullet would shatter my skull and blow my brains out, I would die a quick painless death and finally free of my suffering. No more being consumed with guilt, being tortured by others who have inflicted themselves on me and no longer able to inflict myself on them. Alicia has found new love with Jake and I hope he would be the one to take care of her, protect her and give her the love I wish I could give her. He's the knight in shining armor she needs and I am the hero willing to give up his life in order to protect her. Before I could apply anymore pressure on the trigger, I whispered in my head, „Farewell… farewell, I love you… Alicia."

 **To be continued…**


	12. Chapter 12: Marc Antony

**Chapter 12: Marc Antony**

Beware the fury of a patient man.

 **\- John Dryden**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 05.09.2010**

Just when I thought today would be the day I die, I knew it was the fact I wanted to die. Life has been cruel and agonizing. It had beaten me to my knees until I could no longer get back on my feet. It wasn't the fact I couldn't get back on my feet, I chose not to. I chose to be negative and defeated, which was why I chose death.

I wanted death and eternal rest, but fate took its course and delivered a message, a message which would show me why I lived and fought so long. If I was to die, then let it be my redemption and not my salvation.

* * *

A loud gunshot echoed, but this gunshot I knew didn't emanate from my gun. The barrel was still in my mouth and my eyes were closed. I opened my eyes and I questioned whether I was dead or alive. I removed the barrel from my mouth and checked to see I still had a round in the chamber. It felt like I woke up from a nap and I only dreamt of a suicide attempt. Maybe that gunshot was real, but whatever it was, it woke me up.

„Mikhail Romanenko, report to base immediately, Mikhail Romanenko report to base immediately," boomed a loud voice from a megaphone which I identified as Troy's.

I infiltrated the ranch and ran to where all the residents of the ranch were crowded. The crowd who had their backs turned on me noticed I was approaching and dispersed allowing me to enter the circle. Once I entered the circle, I noticed a humvee, but not a military humvee. It was painted and polished red and in pristine condition, there was no dust or sand or even any smudging on the windows. The car was surrounded by bodyguards who looked heavily armed with their high tech weaponry and body armor. Their faces were unidentifiable with a helmet and a visor that blocked their eyes and a respirator below, maybe to allow ventilation. They were armed with bulky menacing looking assault rifles. They looked German made, they were Heckler and Koch G38 with an AG36 grenade launcher attached. Whoever was the leader of these heavy armored and equipped soldiers must be well financed (not that money was any use in a post apocalyptic world) and have good connections.

Turning my attention back to the humvee, I saw on top of the car was a camping chair under a canopy tent which kept the humvee in the shade. On the chair sat a black man, who looked my age. This man looked familiar, someone from the past, someone who brought the painful memory of being betrayed. It was Marc Antony. He was wearing a long brown fur coat over a black netted vest. He wore skin tight grey leather pants with crocodile leather boots on his feet. It was obvious he was displaying his prestigious voluptuous and extravagant lifestyle. His eyes were covered by silver aviator sunglasses, but I noticed it was definitely him when he smiled at me, those perfectly straight pearl-white teeth. How could I ever forget what a charade and facade he was behind that smile, knowing it was the smile of deceit and smugness.

„Hello Mikhail, long time no see," greeted Marc Antony cordially.

„Marc Antony," I recalled. It was by looking at him did I see red and the anger burning inside me impulsed me to raise my revolver and aim it at his head. The bodyguards who stood still like statues flicked into motion and aimed their assault rifles at me.

„Hey whoah whoah whoah, is that how you greet an old friend?" smiled Marc Antony.

„Save it, you're no friend of mine mu-dak."

„Well maybe we can be friends by putting our guns away," Marc Antony raised his hands, pretending to surrender and be placative. „Come on tovarishch, you know you want to."

Marc Antony just looked at me with a shrewd smile with his hands up. „Come on Mik-Kyle, you know you're outgunned," convinced Troy who was standing in the crowd.

It was true, I was outgunned and I knew dodging bullets from six automatics pointed at me would not be easy. I reluctantly loosened my grip around the handle and let the barrel of my revolver slide down with my finger in the trigger guard.

„Good boy, now place it on the ground and kick it over," ordered Marc Antony. I did exactly what I was told and when I slid the gun towards the humvee, one of the guards caught it with his foot, picked it up while aiming his rifle at me. He handed it to Marc Antony and place his hand back under the hand guard. Marc Antony examined the gun and whooped at the sight of the one handed canon. „Fuck me that's a big gun, what do you shoot with this thing Mikhail… elephants?"

„Anything," I answered.

„Well Mikhail no guns allowed, so I'm going to have to confiscate this from you in the meantime."

„What did you come here for?"

Marc Antony chuckled, handed the bodyguard next to him my gun, got off his seat and walked down the windshield and to the hood of the car. Two guards closest to the car put their guns down, got out a spray and cloth and cleaned where Marc Antony's feet were. One guard even crouched and allowed his back to be used as a step to allow Marc Antony to gently touch the ground. Once he was on the ground, he walked to me and answered, „We have unfinished business you and I."

Marc Antony walks towards me acting cool and precise. He stops and remove his sunglasses, revealing to me his dark brown-hazel eyes. „What the fuck," astonished Marc Antony, approaching closer to me with his eyes aimed at the right side of my face. „What the fuck has happened to your face? Did you burn yourself playing with matches or were you smoking in bed? If you were, then you should know better that smoking in bed causes house fires."

„I wasn't smoking in bed," I retorted.

„Really? Well the story about how you got it isn't important. What is important was to know before then your face was unscathed and now it's fucking ugly. You must have had a hard time getting girls. No girl wants to stare at the shit you have on your face… yuck… no doctor can fix that shit, so it looks like you are going to have to live with it for the rest of your life," bullied Marc Antony.

„I already have svo-lach," I insulted.

„What did you call me motherfucker? Something in Russian, translation please," ordered Marc Antony whipping out his Beretta 92f, which looked adorned and laced with silver and ivory.

„Marc," called out Travis, which made Marc Antony turn around while still pointing his gun at me. „Stop this, we can work this out," pleaded Travis.

„Shut the hell up teach, school's out," rebuked Marc Antony.

„Marc listen, this isn't the answer. I know you are mad about what happened to your sister Cle…" said Madison, but her words were cut off by Marc Antony.

„That does it, bring the Clarks forward," ordered Marc Antony begrudgingly, as the guards jolted into action and fetched the Clarks out of the ground and tugged them by the arm. „Travis too."

With all three of the Clarks and Travis lined up and forced on their knees, Marc Antony took slow cautious steps towards Madison and bowed before her. „You dare speak the name of my sister, and I'll cut out your tongue," snarled Marc Antony. Madison didn't say another word, she kept her mouth sealed shut and breathed heavily through her nostrils.

Marc Antony turns his attention back to me and announces, „If any of the Clarks or Travis say another word, I will kill one of them personally." When he got closer to my face he said, „I think I know which one to start of with." It was obvious that Marc would kill Alicia just to hurt her family and me, which was already inducing my hatred I had for him.

„Anyway let's get to it shall we, without the interruptions," Marc Antony pulls out a stainless steel case out of his pocket and opens it, revealing a row of cigarettes. He pulls one out and lights it with a Ronson lighter.

„What is it you've come for? Are you going to divulge more about your tragic backstory and what our unfinished business is about," I asked assertively.

Marc Antony killed the flame on his lighter and ripped the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke before answering. „Really, I thought you'd already know. Nah of course you wouldn't know, you wouldn't even understand. Someday I will tell you, but for now I'm going to reveal to you the true purpose of my visit." Marc Antony took another drag of his cigarette, looking intoxicated by the smoke he had the pleasure of taking into his lungs. „Oh man those are some fine cigarettes," exulted Marc Antony. He looked at me, reopened the case and held it out to me. „You want one? They're really good."

I looked at the neatly rolled manufactured looking cigarettes and could already smell the sweet aroma of the tobacco. Unlike the cigarettes I smoked which I got tired of, these cigarettes renewed my desire for tobacco. Maybe I just needed a change of brand. I couldn't help but raise my hand and reach out for one of his cigarettes.

When my hand was inches away from a cigarette, Marc Antony slapped it shut and said, „Ah ah ah, if you want one of my cigarettes, I want something in return."

„What is it you want?" I asked apathetically.

Marc Antony backed away from me with his cigarette dangling in his mouth. „What I want from you... is a show. You always liked acting and performing for an audience, well consider this your lucky day." Marc Antony walked back to his humvee, climbed up to sit back on the chair with his guards carrying out their duty of wiping off his footprints. „You are going to get a co-star, don't worry, I think you're going to like him. He's a real champ and he loves Russians, I think you two will put on a great show, it's going to up the ratings." Marc Antony claps his hands twice and calls out, „Chopper!"

A latino male walks in, he's well built and is completely shaven, he even had no eyebrows. He had no ears, his outer-ears were more than likely cut off. He looked at me with beady attentive eyes while he flexed his arm and chest muscles. His other facial features didn't as so much as twitch, it was like his face was incapable of making any expression. His upper body was covered in tattoos, not one part of his upper body was untouched by ink. There wasn't enough time to stare and admire his tattoos only to know that this man looked dangerous and vicious. It was obvious that Marc Antony ordered this man to fight me if not to the death.

„Mikhail, meet Chopper. He's an underground infamous street fighter, an expert in Boxing and Muay Thai. He demolishes cars with his head and barehands and kicks down trees with his shins, a real powerhouse this one is. Not only that, but he's also a real demon too, he's been incarcerated in the most notorious and high level security prisons and has survived many prison fights and murder attempts. I'm telling you man, he is one cold-blooded motherfucker," divulged Marc Antony, pretending to be a boxing promoter.

Chopper removed his shirt unveiling a heavily horrifically upper body, covered in healed stab wounds and slashes. There was even parts of his body that had missing tissue, probably cut off inflicted or self-inflicted. The story of how he probably acquired these mutilations got under my skin, but then I thought back to recurring nightmares, where I engaged in some of the most grueling of opponents who would kill to survive or just to win.

Chopper threw his shirt to the side and got into his fighting stance and hopped on his feet while throwing his fists in thin air. Just by the way he moved his arms with nimble speed and technique, so agile and so fast, it cut the air like a knife slashing through paper.

I too got into my fighting stance, which was Sambo, a Russian martial art consisting of punches, kicks, grappling and throws. I put my arms and hands to my face for protection and drew my feet apart. I looked into my opponent's eyes, trying to study him and feel the confidence I needed to achieve victory.

„Ah ah ah, shirts off Mikhail. No shirts or shoes, 6th rule of Fight Club," quipped Marc Antony.

It was obvious Marc Antony liked to display a sense of humor and make movie references, which I wanted to smile at, but couldn't. I was about to fight a truly worthy opponent of my hand to hand combat skills. Obediently I removed my shoes and kicked them aside and slowly but shyly stripped off my shirt. The reaction I got when I stood half naked in front of an audience was of exclamation and infatuation. Some female voices in the audience I could hear and they were whispering comments about how ripped I looked. I never was someone that posed topless in front of the mirror or cared too much about weight, and it was a surprise I got such acclaim from an audience.

„Now the combatants are set and everyone has placed their bets… LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!" jeered Marc Antony.

The environment went quiet and I was taking small steps towards Chopper as he was doing the same. I was still feeling nervous, like an actor about to go on stage and not having rehearsed or memorized the script. The look of blood-thirst in my opponents eyes and his snarl did send shivers down my spine and froze my blood, but I knew I had to be brave. In this situation it was life or death. My attempted suicide was an easy way out, but dying in battle was a more honorable approach to attain death.

I riveted deep into my Chopper's eyes and tried not to feel anger or pity for the man, but to see him as an obstacle who I needed to overcome. This was it, it was live or die, no Victory; just survival.

Before I could make the first attack, I felt the breeze on my cheek and saw Chopper's fist flying towards my face. I successfully deflected it and could feel how heavy it would have been, should it have met its target. I was then surprised with my flying fists that were aiming for my head and I dodged and deflected each and everyone of them. Then all of a sudden I felt an impact on my ribcage which delivered a sharp pain traveling up my chest and mildly winding me. Before I could recover and catch my breath, I felt a compression on my brain and the crack of bone as I was knocked to the ground.

„Oh Mikhail is down," mocked Marc Antony, and further mocked me by doing a countdown from 10, „10, 9, 8, 7, 6."

I got myself back onto my feet feeling lightheaded with the urge to throw up. I resumed my fighting stance and drew my eyes at Chopper who smirked for his presumed easy victory. I contemplated what I would do if I was going to defend or impose the first attack. Chopper beckoned with his hand to come towards him and I gave into his taunt and charged towards him and performed a sequence of kicks which were both blocked. He caught my leg and threw me across the ring. Hitting the ground and skidding on my shoulder, I suffered a friction burn. I sensed my opponent above me, probably tempted to stomp my head into the ground. Acrobatically and with perfect timing I avoided the deadly stomp to the head by kicking out and my feet landed directly in his face, which knocked him on his back.

I flipped myself onto my feet and looked at my opponent still lying on the floor and wincing in pain. It looked like I might have broken his neck and paralyzed him, but he did slowly get onto his knees and I noticed blood leaking on the side of his mouth. He dabbed his finger in his blood, looked at it and tasted it. It was kind of like a Bruce Lee reenactment. His anger towards me increased and I knew that the fight was going to get more brutal and fierce.

He charged at me and wielded all his strength on me. I did suffer blows to the head which felt Iike my brain tumbled in my skull. There was no doubt that if I suffered this many blows to the head, I would lose the fight if not meet my demise.

The worst blow I've ever sustained was when I received a knee attack under the chin. The attack was so powerful, I thought my teeth shattered and my skull split in two. I was again knocked down with the rush of blood in my head and feeling disorientated. By this point it seemed the fight for me was lost unless I changed my tactics.

Feeling defeated and closer to death, I ruminated back to when I was sparring in what I assumed was military school. Our sparring sessions were scrupulous and rigorous where we were not allowed to wear any protective gear and we had to fight barehanded. There were no prohibited moves other than eye-gouging, biting and neck-breaking. If one opponent was knocked out, goes limb or taps out, the fight was over.

When it was my turn, I could not object or make any excuses, I was forced into the ring to fight my opponent. Once the fight begun, I knew I was either to submit to all the injuries my opponent could inflict on me or fight back. Eventually I came to terms that everyone who participated was there to win and I should do no less.

Whenever I lay wounded on the floor and was crying, the instructor had no sympathy for me. He wasn't my uncle or my friend. I was his student and I had to obey him and deliver results. Eventually I learned that no one was going to be coddling me or comforting me, I finally realized that if I was to survive I had to be the best. It was me or them, we were all in competition with one another. There were no friends, only one winner and I was always going to be the winner. Even if I lost sessions, I would accept defeat, learn from my mistakes and try to win back the title.

Whatever pain I endured, I would learn to tolerate it and not use it as an excuse to give up. If I sustained any scars and teeth were knocked out, I accepted it and knew my body wasn't going to be completely unscathed.

When sparring was over we were free of suffering, we would nurse our own wounds so we could recover for our next training session. My feelings when sparring were that of relief and salvation, but then they turned into disappointment when I realized it was over and I just wanted to keep on fighting and preserve my title. Unfortunately play-fighting was forbidden and was punishable by incarceration.

You might be wondering what was the whole purpose of the training, other than to become soldiers who would fight when the time was right? From all that I can remember and have experienced at this private military school was that we were trained to become more than human, we were trained to become godlike. We were taught not to fear death, but to welcome it. We all get to a certain age where we know that we will die some day, perhaps from old-age, illness or some unfortunate accident. Death to me was nothing but eternal sleep, you feel nothing, you see nothing and you know nothing. You are just dead without knowing it and knowing the people who know and care for you react to such a tragedy that would more than likely affect their lives. Being aloof from religion has caused me to see the afterlife as nothing but propaganda and a way to scare others into becoming Christians and obeying God. In school we weren't fed these bedtime stories. Our allegiance was to Mother Russia and preparing to lay down our lives for our country.

What was it I was really fighting for and why am I alive? I'm fighting for Alicia, I would die for Alicia, but yet I'm allowing myself to be beaten by someone who was more than capable of killing me. Alicia had chosen Jake over me and I chose death in order to save Alicia, but now I see she's in danger, I have yet a reason to live a little longer. I will save Alicia and see she's alive and well before I resume suicide again. Win this fight for Alicia and save her and her family, it's the least I could do as a chance to redeem myself and be back in their good books.

I reflected on my fighting style and noticed that it has similarities to Chopper's fighting style. My fighting style Sambo is technically Russian wrestling but with punches, kicks and grappling involved, which is probably why this fight has been stalemate so far. Now that I have wounded his pride and have agitated him, I know that he's more than likely to apply his devastating punches, which would drain his energy. Maybe I should change my style if I want get the upper-hand, but what other martial arts do I know?

I thought back to military school and that an assistant instructor was invited to train students his fighting style. He had Asian looking features, but never stated where he was from. He spoke perfect Russian with an accent and was very articulate when he taught the class. His name was also Russian, he was called Yuri, all I had to do was think of the first man in space and I could never forget such a name. The reason for his visit and short-term position as an assistant instructor was because he was there to teach us animal styles of Kung Fu. I couldn't think of the names or even the animals, but now was a good time to remember and how my memory of those styles come back to me.

What was the code name I earned in military school? Красная Змея, red snake. Isn't snake one of the forms in Kung Fu? The word ‚snake' caused me to form a snake with my arm with my hand as its head. This new fighting pose provoked Chopper to smile, obviously underestimating the fighting style. I held my snake pose and waited patiently and apprehensively like a snake would if it was cornered. Once my opponent was in range I struck him with my snake hand right into the chest and the force knocked him back. He looked surprised and was stunned from the blow, it was if my snake hand was really tipped with venom.

This only aggravated Chopper who tried to hook me in the head and I used a tiger-paw hand to grab his wrist and use a snake hand to hit a pressure point in his arm, which caused his arm to go limp. He would be resorted to punching with the other hand and using kicks, leaving one side of his face open to attacks. I took the opportunity to perform a spinning kick where I jumped in the air, spun around three times in the full degree applying a fake kick and then applying a real kick that struck him at the side of the face. The audience cheered and started to become alive with enthusiasm and revere.

I would even experience another hallucination where I saw Matt appear in the audience to join in the ovation. Seeing Matt awoke another style that came back to me, which was Capoeira. Matt and I used to study it together (our enthusiasm begun with the character Eddy Gordo from Tekken 3, who was a practitioner), until he became more immersed in art. Capoeira is considered a martial art, but also a dance. It was used by slaves (African) from Brazil as a means to fight against the colonists (Portuguese) who enslaved them. It was outlawed in the 1800's because it resembled African culture and to keep rebellion down to a minimum. Capoeira consisted using quick leg movements, evading, flipping and other acrobatics. These acrobatic moves enabled the use of kicks while crouching and avoiding attacks, in other words, you were making yourself a less easy target. This change of style did fool Chopper and I successfully landed many kicks to his face and even swept him onto the ground.

I did switch styles irregulary in order to remain unpredictable and as a result, Chopper became more disorientated and predictable where I became the opposite. My opponent started to show signs of fatigue and diffidence. With my change of style and learning Chopper's style I could already perceive victory.

The final blow that would determine the victor was when I got myself into the Crane style, which was an animal style from Kung Fu that resembles that of a bird called the white crane. The whole purpose of the style was balance and preserving that balance while waiting for an attack or to dodge an enemy's attack. The style was made famous from the film 'Karate Kid', where the protagonist Daniel LaRusso implements a kick to the head to win the fight.

Standing on one leg with my arms in the air imitating wings, Chopper gave me the impression he has seen the Karate Kid because he grinned at my stance, but little did he know he was in for a deadly surprise. He did what I think he was going to do, which was aim for the leg I was balancing on. His attack was a backwards sweep, but it was done at such a speed that I could get the right timing to use my counter attack. Just before his heel would catch my leg, I raised that leg up, performed a full degree spin and used my other leg to bring down the weight of my foot down on his knee joint. Like a twig, his knee joint snapped and before he could respond in one of the worst pains imaginable, I brought down the heel from my other leg down on his head like an axe. He fell back on the floor unconscious, spared from the pain he would feel should he wake up and realize he was not going to be able to walk for a long time.

There was no applause, just silence, probably because of how brutal my finishing move was. I just looked down at Chopper who looked like a rag doll with a disjointed leg. I didn't feel any pride or joy in winning the fight, I was just happy that it was over.

„Well down Mikhail, now finish him!" ordered Marc Antony.

I looked at everyone in the audience with either neutral or horrified faces and I looked at the Clarks and including Travis. Their faces were the same, I could tell that they somewhat felt remorse for the unconscious man who tried to kill me, now lying on the floor helpless. It was obvious that if I did kill him, they wouldn't approve and they would lose respect for me should I have carried out an execution.

„Nyet… I don't kill in cold blood," I asserted looking firmly at Marc Antony.

Marc Antony's smile faded and altered into a derisive frown and responded, „Not what I expected from a killer like you, but very well Ghandi… take him away." Two guards walked towards my knocked out opponent and took him away under the arm. Marc Antony again got off his chair and walked towards me with his guards acting in the same routine, wiping the windshield and the hood of the humvee.

„You disappoint me, but nonetheless you did win the fight and gave everyone a good show," complimented Marc Antony, taking out his cigarette case and opening it. „Here, have a cigarette, you earned it," offered Marc Antony with a smile. I was reluctant and almost declined to accept his offer, but I could not deny all that fighting made me want a cigarette and to taste that luxuriant tobacco. I dipped my hand in the case and pulled out a cigarette, but before I proceeded to light it, Marc Antony pointed his gun at me. „Ah ah," warned Marc Antony, unexpectedly a flame shot out of the barrel revealing the gun to be a cigarette lighter, „I got this."

Marc Antony lit my cigarette and I tasted the exotic exquisite tobacco, and he wasn't joking, he smoked delicious cigarettes.

„What did I tell you huh, good aren't they?" elicited Marc Antony. I couldn't say anything, I was befuddled after taking that first drag. „Yeah you don't need to tell me, I already know. You know something bro, you're not the killer I thought you were."

„Killing in cold blood is wrong Marc Antony, it's for cowards," I preached after taking another drag.

„Oh please Mr. Pacifist, open your eyes and accept reality. Even before the apocalypse it was one man for himself, take or be robbed and most importantly, dominate or be dominated. It was just at that time most people had their own heads in the sand and were unwilling to see the facts, but no more, only a matter of time till everyone has blood on their hands," discoursed Marc Antony, making hand gestures and doing twirls, displaying his own charisma and confidence.

„That's self defense," I argued.

„Is it now? Or was personal gain involved? Come on don't lie, we don't just simply kill and walk away. No, we kill, loot and we do it all over again. You obviously came all the way here for something and I wouldn't be surprised how many lives you took."

„They were just obstacles, nothing more nothing less."

„Obstacles, so that's how you dehumanize them. You're more colder than I thought, the problem is you deny it, where I alone am honest about it."

„I'm not a murderer, I'm a fighter, a survivor."

„Survivor (syllabled), aren't we all? Just because you're not dead yet you are deserving of that title. However you did say you are a fighter and you are right, in order to survive we must all fight to survive. Many great historical figures like Alexander the Great fought to survive, well not exactly, Alexander the Great was a conquerer. His country was threatened twice by the Persian empire, way before he even came into this world. He dared, he came, conquered, he won and he defeated and dominated his nemesis, the Persian Empire and its emperor."

„Many people came and conquered like Hitler and Stalin."

„Hitler and Stalin, that's a good one. They were friends that become enemies, or were they? The more I read and comprehend their motives, they had the same intentions and would betray each other. It's just Hitler made the first move and Stalin counterattacked and won. Once Hitler was weak, he wasted no time in sending the weight of his armies right into the heart of the Third Reich, crushing the Nazi menace once and for all."

„They were as bad as each other."

„Well that's debatable, but many would brand Hitler as the worst. Well I will admit that Hitler is a racist motherfucker, but Stalin was a paranoid delinquent who saw enemies everywhere. One thing that distinguishes both of them was how many they killed and why they killed. Hitler killed a whopping number of people, enough to call him the worst human in history, but little do people know is that Stalin killed more. The only difference was Hitler killed discriminately, but Stalin killed indiscriminately, which is worse is the big Question? Who is bigger menace and who is the real monster? That is the true question and the lesser of two evils."

„What's the moral of the story, what point are you trying to make?"

„The point I'm trying to make is, if you don't act when you have the chance, you will regret it. Stalin waited while Hitler chose to act, he might not have won but he dared to take on his enemy even when Stalin's forces were in a weakened state. At a time of crisis your people pulled together and reunited with their dictator to fight against their enemy who were trying to kill them. Your country won the war and brought its enemy to its knees. Okay I think I've rambled on and played history teacher so I'm going to make my point and why you shouldn't hesitate to kill your enemies in cold blood. If you give your enemies time to breathe, they will kill you. If you knock them down, they will get back up again and will reprise when they see opportunity. All the faces you see, behind them is another person. We all wear masks to lull our enemies and manipulate them. It's important to learn the enemy under the mask. You kill someone, you better do it right and do it for the right reason. In fact, why don't I give you a clear Demonstration?" admonished Marc Antony, turning to face his men. „Can I see his gun again?"

One of Marc Antony's men handed him my revolver and he held the gun in his hand and scrutinized every feature and component of the gun. „Look I know you are Russian, but I'm sure living in this country you've heard about how white men came to the country and claimed this land?" questioned Marc Antony.

„Da I do, Native Americans were slaughtered by white man," I answered.

„Correct, and it was all because they had better weapons, which were guns. Guns against bow and arrows were competitive, but it was guns that won the day." Marc Antony continued to examine the gun and give a little history and opinion of revolvers, „Love or hate Revolvers, they are revolutionary and do pack a devastating amount of stopping power. Me, I think 9mm are sufficient to put down the target, well if the target isn't armored of course. You know what this looks like a pretty damn boss, I think I should give high-cal guns a try. Besides, I'm dying to know how good Russian revolvers are."

Marc Antony dropped the revolver to the side of his hip and walked around in a frolicking way, probably looking for a target to shoot. There were many opportunities I could have snuck up behind Marc Antony and broke his neck, but I worried that I would face retaliation from his guards who would take me down with a hail of bullets. Hesitating and taking too long to do anything, would shape the course of the future and ruin a man's life.

„Did you know Mikhail that it took only one bullet to spark Europe into a world war?" asked Marc Antony.

„You mean World War 1."

„Correct, fired by one man at one target, which would cause tensions between your country and Austria and later drag other countries into a long bloody and merciless war. That man was Gavrilo Princip, a Bosnian-Serbian terrorist who shot and killed Archduke Franz Ferdinand, the heir to the Austrian throne. Some historians would debate and consider him to be the real antagonist who started the war. Then again he was only a schoolboy who escaped the death penalty because of his age. He never lived to see the war end, a war that started as a result of the assassination he carried out and succeeded in. Well anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that one shot could have disastrous consequences and have a detrimental impact on people's lives, let me show you what I mean," grinned Marc Antony sardonically.

Unexpectedly, he pointed my gun at Travis and shot him in the belly. Travis collapsed to the floor and his family gathered around him, already in a state of shock, tears and panic for his critical state of condition.

„Oooh baby that is one badass motherfucker, kicks like a mule," marveled Marc Antony, holding the now empty revolver and fixing his eyes on it.

Looking at Madison's tears and hearing her cry Travis' name and looking at Marc Antony's smug face, filled me with uncontrollable rage. I charged at him prepared to tackle him and smash his head into the ground. He responded by whipping out a small device which played a repetitive audio track. It was a mix of static, high pitched and white noise along with singular words in Russian. This caused me to drop to my knees and render me completely frozen and unable to move or even speak.

„You want to know what those blackouts were and why you're a cold-hearted killer during those blackouts? Well it has something to do with those tapes you listen to that is for certain. I don't know what manipulates you and triggers the blackouts precisely, but I do know what stops you and that is all I need to know… for now." Marc Antony leant forward and whispered aggressive words into my ear that rung my eardrum, „You're going to pay for what you did to my sister." Marc Antony threw my gun at my feet, „You can have your gun back. Thank you for letting me try it, it was a real pleasure to shoot." He turned his back to me and walks to his humvee. „Sorry Mikhail, I would love to stay longer to chat, but I got to get going. We shall meet again, that I can promise you."

Marc Antony looked at Madison cradling Travis' head in her arms looking very angry. She was growling and snarling through her teeth while letting fresh tears crawl down her face.

„Don't worry Madison, he got shot in the belly. It's going to hurt like hell, but he wont die, unless he doesn't get help soon," remarked Marc Antony, not showing one ounce of remorse.

After Marc Antony's witty disrespectful remark, it was obvious that Madison would have leapt at him with no regard for her life and killed Marc Antony, but she didn't. She continued to glare at him and hold Travis in her arms.

Marc Antony climbed into his humvee and drove away with his men, there were other humvees that looked less glamorous than his. These were mounted with 50 calibre machine guns operated by one of his goons. This was to protect him against hostile attacks and guarantee him safe passage.

Once the humvees were out of sight and faded in the distance, Madison cried, „WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!" Two of Troy's men dressed in their combat clothes ran towards Travis and carried him away, one held him under the arms and the other held him by his feet as he was transported like a wheelbarrow.

I've never seen Madison cry before, tears were strewn all over her face and her eyes were red. She along with Alicia and Nick followed her as she ran to catch up with Travis being carried into a tent, which I assumed to be the infirmary. Feeling my energy return, I stood up and sprinted toward the tent.

* * *

Under the tent I could see Madison, Alicia and Nick stand and watch Travis on the bed. His eyes were open and he was panting. Blood was seeping out of his belly and he was showing signs of going pale from blood-loss, he was obviously going into shock. One of the medics cut his shirt and exposed his entire upper-body and cotton wool was applied to clear the smear of blood.

„We're going to have to open him up. No time for an anesthetic we need to remove that bullet," said one of the medics, while he put on rubber gloves. The medic dissected Travis while Madison held his hand to calm him. When Travis was cut open and the medic dug his hand in he begun to scream in agony and thrash. „Hold him down," ordered the medic.

Madison allowed Travis to squeeze her hand as she used her other hand to hold Travis down. I also assisted and used my strength to prevent Travis thrashing. Alicia and Nick took hold of Travis' legs and he was completely immobile but was still screaming and crying. His scream got so intense, it was horrific and it filled the room. I wanted to tell Travis to calm down and stop the screaming, but I couldn't, I had never had the experience of being cut open and have someone's hand in there. All I could do was keep him steady and wait for the medic to extract the bullet that came from my gun.

After an unpleasant endeavor, the bullet was removed. I could see how big the bullet was and imagined the damage it caused. Travis was no longer screaming and had passed out, probably from blood loss. The medic stitched Travis up but the worst was to come when the medic noticed Travis' condition deteriorating.

„We've stopped the bleeding, but he's going to need blood. Lots of it," announced the medic.

„Do you have any blood?" asked Madison, already in panic.

„We do, what's his blood type?"

„AB,"

The medic checked the list on a clipboard to see the blood type and quantity. He shook his head and said, „Sorry there's no AB available."

„You mean he's going to die?"

„I'm afraid so."

Madison fell to the floor to cry with both her children comforting her. Seeing Madison cry made my heart sink as I could see how much she cared and loved him. Even her children knowing that Travis is not their biological father were beginning to cry too. I then remembered that my blood type was the same as Travis' and I saw it as a chance to redeem myself and win back the Clark's respect.

„I have AB blood," I revealed. I stretched out my bare arm to medic and pleaded, „Please take my blood."

„Are you sure? Doing this could mean your death," advised the medic.

„Just do it, don't waste time," I asserted aggressively.

„Okay your life," agreed the medic unsympathetically.

I looked at Madison who was still kneeling on the floor with her children. She looked at me and whispered, „Mikhail."

„Madison please, I want to do this. It's the least I could do for you."

Madison didn't say anything else, she just looked at me with tears still moistened in her eyes, looking concerned and somewhat grateful for agreeing to go through a life-risking procedure. The medic came back with a plastic tube with a needle on both ends. One end was stuck into Travis' arm and the other was stuck in my arm. Of course it did hurt to have a needle stuck in my arm, but I braced the pain and allowed my blood to flow down the tube and into Travis. I was instructed to keep upright to make the transfusion easier and more effective.

At first giving blood felt a little strange, seeing blood flow from my own body to another vessel was quite amusing. Then I started to feel sick, the same nausea I felt when getting sea sick. Eventually it felt like the time I got drunk off vodka for the first time and I knew that I couldn't stand up straight. I was already beginning to feel really anxious and feeling gravity pull me to the floor. I tried to grab onto something to keep myself on my feet, but it became less easy when I could no longer feel my legs.

I saw Alicia after a long time express concern for my safety and ran out of the tent, probably was unwilling to watch me die in front of her eyes. Nick followed her, but Madison who also looked worried, ran towards me and tried to prevent me from collapsing.

„Mikhail that's enough, you'll die. Please don't do this to yourself," begged Madison.

I looked at Madison and realized that I have succeeded in winning Madison's trust and respect back. I smiled at her and persuaded, „Madison, I want to save Travis. I have to do this."

„Mikhail no," objected Madison, pulling the tube out of my arm.

I collapsed to the floor and didn't feel anything when I hit my head. Madison turned me onto my back and hovered over me, placing her soft hands on my face.

„Madison," I gurgled.

„Mikhail," sobbed Madison.

„I wanted to do this."

„Mikhail, that's enough. You've given him enough blood, thank you."

„It was my pleasure Madison, I wanted to do this for you."

Madison's head dropped to the floor and she begun to shed tears again. It was beautiful seeing someone cry for my impending death, especially from someone I knew and loved, in a motherly sort of way. Madison was not my mother, but she was someone I wish I had as a mother. Just this Moment, which might be my last moment on earth did I want to think that Madison really is my mother and I'm really her son. Here she was comforting me and crying for me, such a sumptuous way to die better than dying alone with a bullet in my skull.

Even though I did it for Madison, that was only partly true. I wanted to atone for all the people I have wronged in my life before the apocalypse. I might not remember all their names, but the faces and names I do know, I acknowledge them in my thoughts. One person whose name I do know was Marc Antony's sister Cleo, and even though I despise her brother what he did to Travis, I don't condemn Cleo for simply being his sister. She had no involvement with her brother's wrong doings and it saddened me to learn of her death and to know I was partly responsible.

Saving Travis was my way of compensating him for the way I shunned Chris in a crude and abrasive manner. If Travis heard about it, I would be expecting a confrontation and a rebuking from him, but if he heard that I saved his life; he would be grateful and he would honor me in death. It's a shame I was going to die without knowing if I gave him enough blood to save his life.

Alicia might not have been the one by my side, but I was satisfied that it was her mother. I felt a tear drop from Madison's face and splash onto my cheek. It was a delicate touch I could receive from Madison, as I knew it wouldn't be long before I passed out. My eyelids were getting heavy and I could not keep them open. I tried as best as I could with the remainder of breath to request, „Tell Alicia, I…." It was too late, my eyes were closed without knowing if Madison ever heard me.

 **To be continued…**


	13. Chapter 13: Gretchen Trimbol

**Chapter 13: Gretchen Trimbol**

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.

 **\- Hubert H. Humphrey**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 05.09.2010**

I have divulged about my once cynical phase and how I tried to keep everyone away despite their offerings of kindness and support. It pains me to think how I threw it all back in their faces and how much I hurt them, but unfortunately, I had to live with those regrets. I always knew that it was never too late to change and make myself a better person. That opportunity came when I met this one person, who rekindled my confidence and made me feel special and loved.

* * *

Some point in our life we imagine and ruminate what it's like to be dead, or maybe there is such thing as purgatory. For a moment I thought I was in purgatory or some sort of abyss where I dwelled in blackness. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear noises, noises from a crowd of people who were nearby who spoke English. It wouldn't take me long to notice I was lying on a soft surface, it almost felt I was levitating off the ground and floating in the abyss.

One thing I felt was a hand touch mine, the hand was that of a female, my other senses confirmed that suspicion.

„Alicia," I whispered ardently, stroking the hand touching mine.

I then felt a pair of lips press against my forehead, which made my body tingle and invigorate my entire body. I wanted to believe it was Alicia who kissed me, but I couldn't tell for certain with my eyes closed.

When I was left alone I was able to voluntarily open my eyes I saw a distorted blurry spectacle of a figure standing beside my bed. My eyes readapted to the light and I could tell it was a child, it was a little girl whose face I could not see. All of a sudden she whipped something round and red, accompanied by the crunching of plastic. It was bright red and shone in the light, it was the first thing that came into focus. I stretched out my numb arm and grabbed the glowing red object. I lay on my back and held the object above my face and saw it was on a short stick and I confirmed it was a lollipop I held in my hand. I looked to my side again and saw the little girl, but this time I could see her face. This was a face that triggered a memory, it was a little girl who I knew in LA before the apocalypse.

Long story short, she was a little girl I first met while I was walking home already in a bad mood and ready to shun anyone who came across me, even acquaintances. This little girl I saw with an ice cream in her hands. She smiled at me, but I didn't smile back at her. Nonetheless she continued to retain her smile until she was pushed by a group of boys her age to the ground. The ice cream landed on the pavement right in front of her. Immediately she cried and the sight of her crying almost compelled me to say, „Who's smiling now?" and just walk away. Instead my heart slowly ripped in two and my face melted and felt benumbed. It was obvious I felt sorry for the girl and I shed a tear for her. I fished into my pocket and pulled out the change I had, I saw I had just enough to buy a pack of cigarettes. Unwilling to see the girl cry anymore I decided I would use the change to buy the girl an ice cream.

I helped her up and offered to buy her an ice cream, which immediately stopped her crying as she wiped her face. Her and I raced to the ice cream truck, which I saw the driver was already sitting in the driver's seat and was about to drive off. I was able to convince the driver to take the time to serve us before he would drive off to his next destination.

I asked the little girl what ice cream she wanted and she made the choice. Once she was given her ice cream, we both sat on the curb in front of her house where I made sure the bullies wouldn't pick on her. I did reflect on buying the girl an ice cream and I started to feel really good about myself. I really did feel I did something right by making a precious little girl happy.

Now that I was reunited with her again, I saw her raising the same smile on her face, but then quickly that smile faded and she ran off in a panic. I was confused why she ran off and for a moment I thought she was an apparition, but holding the lollipop in my hand I was convinced she was real.

* * *

I tried sitting up and immediately I felt my head pounding and was close to vomiting when I sat on the edge of the bed. I tried to clear my head and feel my legs dangling above the ground. My head stopped throbbing and my limbs stopped aching. I still felt frail and languid, but I felt well enough to stand up and stretch my legs. Before I intended to lower my feet to the ground, someone walked in behind my back. The person walked around my bed and approached me with a smile on her face and a tray in her hand.

She was a young girl, the same age as Alicia and roughly the same height. She had a lollipop head resting on a slender neck with broad shoulders. Her chin was pointy, with thin lips and a very small mouth. Her nose was long and narrow and her eyes were green just like Alicia's. Her hair was blonde and she had a fringe with her hair tied back. She curved her lips to form a smile to express her friendliness and good intentions, which I responded with a polite welcoming smile.

„Hi, I'm Gretchen," greeted the girl in a thick southern accent, barely opening her mouth at all, like she was talking through her teeth.

„Hi Gretchen I'm…" I greeted, but failed to mention my name because my mouth was too dry to proper move my lips.

„Mikhail… of course I know you, everybody knows you. They all think of you as a hero."

„A hero, well I'm honored. It's too bad I had to risk my life just to earn such a title."

Gretchen smiled, looked down at the tray then back at me and said, „I brought you some food, thought you might be hungry."

„I am a little hungry, but my jaw is still sore from taking that knee."

„Oh I'm sorry to hear that," commiserated Gretchen but reverted back to smiling gleefully, „But it was cool to see you fight and win, you were awesome. You were like Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris should I say."

I smiled at Gretchen's witty remark and remarked, „Well it was only self defense, but I'm only happy to be alive and well." I could not believe I said something like that, after trying to commit suicide. Knowing I survived a near death experience. I didn't have any thoughts of suicide, feeling rejuvenated and reborn.

„Well anyway I cooked you eggs, mushrooms and home-fries. I don't know if you Russians love home-fries, but I know you like potatoes apparently so these are basically fried potatoes."

„I like home-fries, I used to eat them quite a lot ever since I moved to the States."

„Oh then you'll love my home-fries, everyone here does, you can ask them."

„Thank you Gretchen, I'll try them and give them a good review. You'll be a Michelin star chef."

Gretchen smiled, looking very flattered. „Just to let you know I run and organize bible study, you should come. It's going to be a lot of fun, you'll love it?"

I was unsure whether I wanted company so soon, but Gretchen's advance and the way she presented her offer seemed impossible for me to turn down. I'm polite, maybe too polite, which reminds me of the mistake I made with Cleo by overstepping the line and misleading her. I looked at Gretchen and responded, „That sounds very interesting Gretchen, I'll come."

Part of me regretted accepting Gretchen's generous offer, but seeing her smile with gratification trapped me in a disposition where I could not go back on my word.

„Great, meet me near the pasture at 7pm."

Gretchen gave me a light tap on the arm and took her leave with a radiant smile on her face. I turned my attention back to the food Gretchen brought me. I had a plate full of home-fries, scrambled eggs and fried mushrooms. Looking at the cooked meal made my stomach rumble and I knew I was hungry. I begun eating right away and could feel my taste buds returning, but then I needed to wash it down with a beverage that was brought to me along with the food. In a mug there was a brown pale liquid. When I brought the rim to my lips and tasted it, I knew it was coffee. I hate coffee, I hate how strong and acidic it is, I could feel it burn my throat. I needed a tea, but all I had by my bed was a bottle of water to get rid of the taste. Maybe I should ask Gretchen next time not to serve me coffee.

* * *

After breakfast I did walk outside to get some fresh air, but I was limping on the way out, maybe as a result of losing a lot of blood. Once I was out and relished in the smell of fresh air and how it felt good on my skin, just what I needed to replenish my strength after a hot meal. All what I needed was a good seat, a black tea and a cigarette.

When I was out sitting under the shade with a black tea and a cigarette, many residents passed by and greeted me. Some did try to engage in conversation with me and I told them I wasn't feeling too well to talk, so they let me have my space.

* * *

The time was nearly 7pm and I had remembered my arrangement to meet Gretchen and her friends near the round pen. I arrived feeling a little stronger and less drowsy and there I saw in the distance was Gretchen but she was talking to Alicia. They seemed to be talking rather casually and jovially as if they were already friends. Gretchen turned her head to me and smiled, „Hey Mikhail you've arrived just in time, have you met Alicia?"

„Da, we know each other, we went to the same school together," confirmed Alicia, bestowing me with a smile.

„Oh really, well I better go get Terry and Gabe, they're over there. Be right back," snickered Gretchen, as she turned to walk towards two male youths who were my age.

I turned to look at Alicia who was standing in the same position and still smiling at me. With Alicia and I alone while Gretchen was assembling the rest of the group, I wasted no time in talking to Alicia.

„So Alicia, you're looking really well," I complimented.

„Well it's too bad I can't say the same about you… how are you feeling?" mocked Alicia.

„Better, took a lot of blows. I feel like I've just been attacked by a bear."

Alicia and I both laughed at my witty little joke with a Russian reference.

„Mikhail, about the way I behaved, I'm sorry for what I said to you and for cutting you off. It was…"

„Nyet Alicia it's okay, I understand why… you were distrustful because of that incident between your brother and I."

„Mikhail I know it just happened, and it's not something that can be ignored, but I really appreciated what you did beforehand and what you did for Travis."

„Is he still alive?"

„Yeah, but he's in a coma. His spine has suffered so much Damage. I don't think he can walk again."

Hearing that Travis is still alive elated me, but at the cost he now remains a paraplegic depressed me. Alicia looked at me looking just as sad and teary eyed.

„Mikhail," sobbed Alicia as she approached me and wrapped her arms tightly around me. This unexpected moment, this loving embrace from Alicia filled my body with warmth and tranquility. It was the first time Alicia has ever embraced me and it was undeniably comforting and consoling. I never wanted Alicia to release me, I wanted to be in her arms forever as I also wanted her to be in mine. Just Alicia and I, in our own little world where we can temporarily forget our sorrows and issues. I wanted to whisper to her that I love her, but that chance was hindered when Alicia released me and looked melancholic and still had tears in her eyes.

„It's okay Alicia, we're going to help Travis when he comes out of his coma. We're going to do it together," I consoled Alicia, suddenly aware I was touching the bare skin on her arm. „I'm sorry I didn't mean to," I apologized, tearing my hand away.

„No Mikhail it's okay," whispered Alicia.

Our eyes locked and we continued to smile at each other, it gave me deja vu back to the times Alicia and I did nothing but rivet in each other's eyes. No words, just looking deep into the windows of our souls, trying to reach each other's thoughts and predict the next move. Normally I would lock eyes with my opponent, but Alicia wasn't someone hostile. The move wouldn't be a punch or a kick, but hopefully a collision of our lips, the moment I have waited so long for. Would it be now or would it be later? That was confirmed when I heard Gretchen's voice interfere.

„Ready you two?"

* * *

Gretchen lead Alicia and I to a secluded part of the ranch where I would be presented to a metallic flap which was sloped and hemmed in concrete. Me being the newest member, I was to go first down a ladder, which I found daunting to set foot on each rung as I climbed down. I begun feeling woozy and my strength wane, and before I knew it, my fingers slipped and I hit my head on the ground and passed out.

„Mikhail are you okay?" asked a distorted southern accent. I opened my eyes and saw Gretchen's face upside down looking at me. Her hands were on my face and my head was in her lap, she was stroking my face and looking worried for my well-being. Alicia I could see was also crouched beside me, she was holding my hand and looking at me.

„Mikhail, can you hear me?" asked Alicia.

„Da I'm okay, I still feel weak and fatigued."

„We better get him to the sofa," suggested Alicia, as both her and Gretchen carried me underarm to the sofa.

„Sweet Jesus you weigh a ton Mikhail," astounded Gretchen.

„What do you expect, he's a big Russian bear," joked Alicia.

I landed on the soft pliable sofa, I could almost feel myself sink into the sofa, but I felt comfy and relaxed. I saw Alicia sit on an arm-chair and beside her, sat the other two who were joining us, Terry and Gabe. Terry was a chubby kid with thick curly brown hair. His face was round and he had a double chin. Gabe was a redhead, looked much younger than me. His skin was pale and he had more hair on his head than Terry, which was wavy and long with strands draping over his face.

I remember meeting Terry and Gabe for the first time (before Gretchen lead us to the bunker) as they both stared at me as if I was some sort of celebrity. They complimented how awesome I was and how much I kicked ass, like I was Bruce Lee. Like any celebrity would do just to humor his fan, I would just laugh it off and debunk that statement and claim I'm just an ordinary man just trying to survive the apocalypse.

„I don't believe it, you are this legendary secret badass and you can't get down the ladder," criticized Gabe.

„Well I gave blood, I gave a lot of it. That would sap anyone's strength," I articulated.

„Well let's hope you recover before the next attack, this community needs a hero" bantered Terry.

Gretchen slammed a heavy object onto the table and interjected, „No more chatter, bible class has commenced. Time for our newest member Mikhail to be anointed."

I looked at the big long object on the table and quickly identified it as a bong, not what I expect from bible class. I'm Orthodox Christian, so who am I to judge how Americans orchestrate bible class.

„What's the matter Mikhail, have you never tried pot?" perplexed Gretchen.

„Nyet I haven't. I smoke cigarettes, but I've never smoked from a bong before."

„It's easy, you put your mouth against the tube and I light the pot in the bowl. When you hear the bubbling suck in the smoke and let the power of the pot take you," instructed Gretchen with an eager smile on her face.

I placed my mouth on the mouthpiece while Gretchen lit the bowl and the water below boiled and bubbled. Then a column of smoke shot up the tube and into my mouth. The smoke went right down in my lungs and inflated them like two balloons, so much I thought my lungs were going to explode. I held the smoke in my lungs and in my mouth, the four other attendees laughed at me and said I looked like a hamster storing food in its pouch. Slowly and easily I let the smoke flow out of my mouth. I created a humongous smoke cloud which filled the room and trapped everyone inside, they coughed and tried to fan the smoke away.

„Good lord Mikhail, you're like a human fumigator," joked Gretchen, trying to clear the smoke with her hands.

With my body completely emptied from the smoke I just inhaled, my lungs were burning and my mouth was dry. My eyes begun to water and the skin of my face felt tight. Everyone was laughing at me with the many faces I was giving them the pleasure of viewing. I could not control the muscles in my face and unwilling to control my mental impulses. I made a sequence of random noises I could push through my lips. I even intoned words from my mother-tongue and gibed and jabbered them, which caused everyone to laugh, so much their eyes watered and they rolled on the floor in laughter.

After I calmed down and relaxed, everyone else ceased laughing, got back on their seats and sat up right while I tried to breath normally and control the pot that was still in my system. I was in complete inebriation and truce, a feeling I haven't had in a long time. Never had I had such a joyous and exuberant moment in my life, not since Matt and I stopped being friends and our fun times were over.

„So how was it Mikhail, your first time trying pot?" questioned Gretchen.

„Da, I smoke tobacco, but pot sure is something," I marveled in a rather comical tone, which made everyone laugh.

„Oh he's tripping balls," laughed Gabe.

I was introduced to another member of group called Geoff, who was fetched out of a barrel and who was a severed head locked in a birdcage. I could see he was someone who turned into a walker who now serves for entertainment purposes. Like any walker does, he growled and snarled and flashed its maul, looking ravenous. Seeing his severed head animate, reminded me of a time when animatronics were used in films until they were ousted and replaced with CGI. We all played a game where we asked each other Questions, but pretended Geoff asked them, which I did admit made me feel like a kid again when it was common to use imagination. Being intoxicated with pot made the game more fun.

„What's the matter Mikhail you haven't touched your moonshine?"

„Sorry," I said, taking a sip of moonshine, which did have a strong overpowering taste like drinking varnish. „Ochen' khorosho," I critiqued, wanting to be generous and not offend which one of the kids brewed it.

„I know it's not vodka but it's the closest thing to vodka," said Gretchen.

„I'm not into vodka personally," I clarified, getting sick of the stereotype.

„Strange, didn't you drink vodka back in Russia?" asked Terry.

„Nyet, I left Russia when I was eight years old. I was way below the legal drinking age."

„Where did you live in Russia, Moskow?" asked Gabe.

„O nyet, I was not a city boy, more of a country boy." I saw Gretchen's eyes light up, indicating that she too lived in the countryside. „I've been to Moscow though. I went there as part of a school trip to meet former Russian president, Boris Yeltsin. I've even been to Saint Petersburg, Volgograd formally known as Stalingrad and Pripyat, most known for Chernobyl."

„What was the name of the place you lived in Russia?" asked Gretchen.

„Krasny, it's a small village. The closest city is Smolensk and it's next to Belarus."

„Belarus, part of Russia?" wondered Gretchen.

„Nyet, it's its own country. The name translates ‚White Russia'."

„Why is it called White Russia?" asked Gabe.

„I don't know to be honest, in fact, many historians can't determine why. There are only theories. One of those theories is the people in the old Ruthenian lands were called the White Rus who converted to Christianity, but we are going way back in time here."

„And they have their own language or they speak Russian?" asked Terry.

„Well the lingua franca is Russian, but they do have their own language, which only those living in small communities speak. Unfortunately it is endangered of becoming a dead language."

„Like Latin," interrupted Alicia.

„Correct Alicia, Latin is one of them along with Sumerian and Ancient Greek."

„So what about your awesome fighting Bruce Lee like abilities, where did you learn to fight like that?" asked Terry.

„It's hard to remember, but all I know I was taught to fight in school. In Russia we didn't have things like videogames and TV, if you had a TV you were rich, which my family wasn't. We went outdoors and had fun there," I elaborated.

„Let me guess, snowball fights or building snowmen?" assumed Gretchen.

„Well when it was winter I played in the snow, but Russia can be really hot in the summer, so hot a lot of locals went skinny dipping in the lake. I even saw one guy bathe in a tub of ice, which turned into water in mere minutes. I know right, because of that, I yearned for winter to come back because the heat was unbearable."

„What did you like to do in Russia?" asked Gretchen, „Sorry for asking all the questions it's just I'm curious."

„Nyet nyet it's okay, I'm more than open to any question," I assured trying to be polite.

„I have a question for you," toned a voice with a different accent. A hand slapped onto my pack of cigarettes on the table like a snake striking its prey. „May I have one of your fags?" asked the same voice again, but by then, I turned to look at the face that stole my cigarettes and already took one without asking. „Thank you," said the kid, already lighting the cigarette with my lighter.

„Hey you're not old enough to smoke, and you should ask the gentleman and wait until he approves" admonished Gretchen, without showing much disapproval for the kid's cheeky act.

„Oh bollocks to that, I'm sure our friend doesn't mind. Don't you mate?" coaxed the kid, sitting next to me and nudging me with his elbow while resting his hand with the cigarette on his bent knee.

„Sorry, I think I should introduce you two, Mikhail this is Rico but we call him little Rico or Draco," introduced Gretchen.

„Draco, why that name?" I perplexed.

„His full name is Rico Drake, kind of why we gave him the name. He's the only other foreigner here apart from you," explained Gretchen.

„That's right O' chum, two strangers in Yankee land. We sure have a lot in common you and I," smiled Rico, taking a drag of the cigarette.

Rico was a kid, by my estimation was 12 years old and judging by his accent he's probably English, but looks conspicuously Italian. His hair was jet black like the stereotypical Italian image and his hair was long and straight with a part that hung over one of his hazel-brown eyes. His lips were very small. His accent was the most distinct feature about him, he reminded me of one of those boys I've seen in English movie classics such as Mary Poppins and Oliver, he's probably lived in London where he could inherit such an accent.

„I guess the introduction isn't complete without a handshake Mikhail," wisecracked Rico, offering me his hand.

I took Rico's hand and felt his surprisingly tight grip, I could assume that Rico possesses such physical strength. Where he grabbed my hand and squeezed. He located the exact pressure point where I could feel my bones. He demonstrated his cunningness when he grabbed my cigarettes and helped himself. „Privet Rico, nice to meet you," I greeted with a polite smile.

When Rico was done with his cigarette he threw it in the birdcage where Geoff was still lively and animating. The cigarette butt went through the cage and his Geoff on the head which aggravated him.

„Rico that's not very nice to do such a thing to poor Geoff," disapproved Gretchen.

„Oh stop it Gretchen, he's already dead and would bite you if he could. Besides, I think Geoff could do with a little nicotine to mellow out," said Rico callously, showing disregard for Geoff.

I saw Gabe with a guitar on his lap and plucking the strings softly. He was only playing individual notes and with no melody. Seeing Gabe play the guitar, brought me back to a time when I used to play guitar, but played quietly. Mainly because my father didn't like hearing me play. The only times I would play and sing was when my father was out or passed out from drinking. Seeing Alicia just sit still and not be as engaging as the rest of the group and Gabe still plucking the strings of the guitar gave me an idea.

„Hey do you guys like music?" I asked the group.

„Sure we love music," responded Gretchen.

„Well I'd like to play you all a song, I just need to borrow Gabe's guitar."

„Sure no problem," approved Gabe, handing me the guitar.

„I need to preform it outside because I can't whistle in doors. Russians have the superstition that whistling indoors can bring misfortune to the household."

The room went silent and everyone stared at me with suspicion, guess I was the only superstition to them.

„Yeah sure, lets have a camp fire. I'm not usually superstitious, but at a time like this, I'm ready to become superstitious," quipped Gretchen, getting off her seat to prepare a camp fire outside.

* * *

Once everyone was outside and gathered around the campfire, I prepared to sing for my small audience. I decided to perform the song ‚Patience' by Guns N' Roses, which reminds me of when Alicia was still with Matt and I moped in my own private corner and pined for Alicia's love. I was uncertain whether Alicia did love me, but when she came to talk to me and I taught her to Dance, did I get a shimmer of hope that there would be a romance between Alicia and I. Matt was the one she was with and was the one she loved, or she was uncertain whether she wanted to continue the relationship or leave Matt for me. All I could do was give it time and hoped Alicia would take my hand, we kiss and we begin a romance that would bind us together for all eternity.

Like in the beginning of the song, I did a count from one to four and begun to whistle and play the guitar. I sung the lyrics sentimentally and mentally imaged a film in my head, which narrates when I first saw Alicia and came to the shocking discovery she was Matt's Girl, and it was way after Matt and I were no longer friends.

Before reaching the final Chorus, I slowly strummed, which would have convinced my audience that the song was over. I raised one finger to indicate that it wasn't over. Then I strummed hard on the strings and plucked a sequence of notes and sung the lyrics with the word ‚patience' and I added tensity to my voice. I even tried to accomplish and mimic Axl Rose's ability to sing in five-octave vocal range. After playing the final guitar line I let out an exhale just like Axl Rose does at the end, then I received a boisterous applause from my little audience. Gretchen I could see was really enthusiastic, Alicia I saw looked at me with an ardent smile and still clapping her hands.

This was what revived my passion for acting, exorcise my sorrows and rekindled my spirits. I was hoping that the song would give Alicia the hint that I had been waiting for her all the time, and that I do love her and am willing to give my heart to her. The title of the song said it all, I just needed a little patience for Alicia to reciprocate and our moment and opportunity will arrive.

* * *

That night was just what I needed to start connecting with people again and not feel so lonely. Prior to that memorable night, I remember being approached by Gretchen, but this time she took me by the hand and dragged me to her family. I was nervous about meeting Gretchen's family, it almost felt like I was in a relationship with her and I was meeting her folks.

I saw who I assumed to be Gretchen's parents. She introduced me to them while her hands were wrapped around my arm. I shook both their hands as they greeted me cordially and would learn their names as Vernon and Kathy. Vernon was a tall man with a bald patch and full beard and Kathy was a red-head who was the same height as Gretchen.

Then I would meet Gretchen's brother Mike, who was one of the militia who guarded the ranch. He had light brown hair and a full beard, he looked like a young Chuck Norris.

I was invited to join and socialize with them, which I politely accepted. I would sit and talk with Gretchen's parents and openly share them my stories and past life in Russia. The social event would be interrupted when Mike returned and Vernon and Kathy decided to make dinner, which I offered to cook them shashlik and introduce them to my country's cuisine.

While I was letting the meat marinate, Gretchen wanted to speak to her parents alone and left me with Mike so him and I to get better acquainted. Mike was thrilled to know that him and I technically have the same name. ‚Mikhail' is ‚Michael' in Russian and ‚Mike' is short for ‚Michael'. I taught him some combat skills that weren't from muscle memory and we both talked about firearms and their advantages and disadvantages.

When it was dinnertime and I cooked the shashlik, I remember everyone liking the shashlik I cooked. Except for Gretchen who was vegetarian, so I made her borsch, which she earnestly enjoyed.

* * *

You might be thinking by now why I'm talking a lot about Gretchen, well to be honest, I have been warming up to her despite her persistency when I wanted to be alone. I saw Gretchen as a reminder about the little issue I had with Marc Antony's sister, Cleo. The mistake I made with Cleo I did not want to make with Gretchen and that mistake was being over friendly, which only resulted in her being mislead and developing feelings for me. Unfortunately that time will come when Gretchen and I were alone for the second time ever.

* * *

I was sitting alone smoking a cigarette, drinking black tea and reading a Russian Orthodox bible, until I heard the feint sound of footsteps. I turned my head to see that it was Gretchen.

„Sorry I didn't mean to disturb you," apologized Gretchen, halting in position.

„Nyet it's okay."

„Is it okay to join you?"

„Da sure, please, sit down," I approved making room for Gretchen to sit down.

The way Gretchen asked was abnormal and uncommon of her, she looked scared and worried about something.

„Is everything okay Gretchen?" I asked.

„Yeah I'm okay, do you think I could have a drag?" asked Gretchen, looking at the cigarette in my hand.

„Sure, I can offer you a cigarette," I responded, digging in my pocket for my pack of cigarettes.

„No I just need a little bit of nicotine, just need some to calm my nerves," responded Gretchen.

„Ladna."

I handed Gretchen my cigarette and she took a slow drag and breathed out in one smooth long stream. She handed me back my cigarette and looked more calmer and her usual confident self.

„Thank you," I took the cigarette from her hands and offered, „Would you like some black tea?"

„Yes please, I would love some," smiled Gretchen, sounding chipper. I gave Gretchen some tea and she thanked me graciously. „What are you reading?"

„The bible, it's been a while since I last read the bible."

„Are you religious, do you believe in God?"

„Well I used to go to church with my grandma, she's not around anymore of course so... I thought I'd get back into religion just for her."

„Mikhail that is so sweet, sorry to hear about your grandma, I'm sure she was a wonderful person."

„Indeed she was, she was the only real family I had."

„What about your mum and dad?"

„My mother I never knew, I don't have any memory of her alive. I've only seen her in a photo."

„Oh Mikhail I'm sorry to hear about your mother, is your dad still alive?"

„I don't know, he went missing since the start of the apocalypse. He wasn't really much of a father, he never had any faith in me. He just drank bottle after bottle and never really did anything. He blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life, he told me I should get it together and pursue a more meaningful career rather than be an actor."

„Well you would have made a terrific actor," complimented Gretchen, slapping her hand onto my leg. I expected Gretchen to remove her hand, but she didn't. She just looked at me with a smile and got closer to me. I just remained still and saw Gretchen's face getting closer to mine and she was closing her eyes and opening her mouth ajar. This triggered a flashback when Cleo tried to kiss me and I backed away, which resulted in a tragedy I was partly responsible for.

When the flashback ended, Gretchen's nose was touching my nose, her eyes were fully closed and I could feel her warm breath on my lips.

„Gretchen nyet," I declined, backing away without touching her.

„What's wrong, don't you like me?" bewildered Gretchen.

„Nyet Gretchen it's not that. It's just I…"

„Are you gay?"

„Nyet I'm not it's just I have…"

„You never kissed a girl?"

„Da it's true, I've never kissed a girl."

„You can kiss me, I want to kiss you."

„Gretchen I can't kiss you, you're a very lovely lady it's just I…"

„It's someone else?"

I hesitated to give Gretchen the truth, but I knew divulging her the truth was the right thing to do. One thing Gretchen didn't do was run away after I declined the kiss, unlike Cleo did without giving me a chance to give her an explanation. I'm sure Gretchen was willing to listen and understand.

„Da it's true, it is someone else," I confessed.

„Who if I may ask?" asked Gretchen nervously.

„She was there at bible class."

Gretchen took time to comprehend who it was and then assumed, „Oh it's Alicia isn't it?"

I nodded and admitted shamefully, „Da"

I looked at Gretchen who had her head down, I found my hand touching her delicate chin and said, „Gretchen, I'm sorry." I then saw my hand was still touching her chin and I removed my hand. „I'm sorry I didn't mean to…"

„No it's okay, if you love her then you should be with her."

„I just wanted to make sure you understand."

„I do Mikhail it's just… have you told her how you feel?"

„Nyet I haven't, to be honest I'm too scared she'll turn me down."

„Oh Mikhail you wimp," scoffed Gretchen playfully. She grabbed my hand with both hands and squeezed it. „You need to tell her. Even if she does turn you down you have at least tried."

„I know, it's just… well between you and me, I think she has eyes for Jake."

„Jake who… Jake Otto? No Mikhail, Alicia has decided to take some time away from him after he got really intense with her."

This rumor elated me to know that Alicia wasn't really seeing Jake. „Really, about what?"

„I don't know, apparently it was because she turned down sex with him and he's been getting really cranky about it."

My reception of Jake begun to change and make me assume he only acts nice just to get laid, but I wasn't going to act on my assumption and confront him.

„I see, maybe this would be a good time to ask Alicia out. It just has to be the right time and the right place."

„Well don't take too long otherwise she might consider reconciling with Jake."

I laughed and so did she.

„You sure you don't want to practice kissing me?" asked Gretchen, acting mischievously and cheeky.

I smiled and weakly laughed and said, „Gretchen, I'm really tempted to kiss you, you have a really cute small mouth." Gretchen smiled, stretching her smile wide looking really flattered. „It's just I want my first kiss to really be something special."

„I understand, but if you have kissed before does this mean you would kiss me?"

„You bet I would," I humored her and Gretchen blushed and exclaimed. „Why do you like me? I thought my disfigurement would put you or even Alicia off," I wondered.

„What disfigurement?" asked Gretchen.

„This disfigurement," I pointed to the scarification on my face, which I knew anyone could see.

„No Mikhail, I don't think it's a disfigurement, I find it really cute." Gretchen stroked the burnt part of my face and complimented, „I call it a beauty mark. I like you because you're mysterious and you are full of surprises and you have a good heart."

„O Gretchen, thank you for saying that to me." I felt really touched.

„Are we still friends?" asked Gretchen, giving me her hand.

„Friends," I responded, taking Gretchen's hand and shaking it. Gretchen held onto my hand, brought it up to her lips and kissed the back of my hand. I smiled at Gretchen's audacious action and she laughed impishly.

I was relieved to know that I was able to reject Gretchen without hurting her feelings and we could continue being friends. However I knew I was going to have to be careful and have limits with how close and friendly I got with Gretchen and the amount of physical contact I allowed her to. As much as I was tempted to, but I knew that would only augment her love for me and that would only break her heart which I didn't want to do.

Gretchen I'm most thankful for for giving me the confidence and the spur I needed to approach Alicia and profess my love for her. Only this time, I would not be scared, I would think of Gretchen being the little angel on my shoulder.

 **To be continued…**


	14. Chapter 14: The Bargain

**Chapter 14: The Bargain**

Sometimes your friends are lovers, or have been at one time.

 **\- Axl Rose**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 10.09.2010**

Life at the ranch has really been growing on me, but little did I know that the leader and founders of the ranch have a common enemy who wanted to reclaim the ranch. This put me in a very difficult situation where I was going to have to take sides and if necessary to fight and kill.

All I wanted was to save Alicia and her family and avoid any conflict, but not only the Clarks would become the family I swore to protect, but also the Trimbols, Gretchen's family.

* * *

Days went past the event when Gretchen tried to kiss me, and we were still leading a healthy friendship. She showed me her way of life and treated me like I was some alien who landed on this planet and she was introducing me to her culture. She showed me how to tend a horse and also a bit about horseback riding, which reminds me of the time I was at Qaletaqa Walker's tribe. We would even assist in cooking breakfast for the whole ranch, where I would introduce everyone to a Russian breakfast. I do remember Troy being unable to finish it, he just handed his plate and sarcastically thanked me for the food. This little insult from Troy should have demeaned me, but I maintained my spirits and disregarded his opinion on my cooking.

* * *

After breakfast, Troy asked to have a talk with me in private, which I humbly accepted. Troy and I went into a tent where I saw Jeremiah waiting patiently for my arrival. He smiled to see me and greeted, „Mikhail my Russian friend, how good it is to see you again. Please take a seat and Troy will make you a black tea.

Jeremiah lay a map on the table and Troy brought me a black tea. I lit a cigarette before I would be briefed on a mission they wanted me to participate in.

„We've seen how you handled yourself against our guest Marc Antony's thug and have seen how you shoot at the shooting range. You exceed way better than our men and that only you can do this mission," effused Jeremiah, talking to me like I was his best friend.

„Okay what's the mission?" I asked, not sounding eager to hear.

„I'm glad you asked," Jeremiah threw down a photo for me to glance at, „This is Qaletaqa Walker, he's the leader of the Black Hat Reservation. He's always been causing us problems, he wants the ranch which he claims to be his land. Recently he's killed one of our men, an old friend of mine. He was the one that caused the fires from yesterday as a means to intimidate us. Well now we think it's time to retaliate and that you're the man to do it."

„You want me to kill him?" I inquired, this was something I refused to do and shoved the photo back, „I'm sorry, I'm not a killer for hire."

Jeremiah's smile dropped and he frowned. „Well not kill him, but I do want you to do something about him. Since you don't want to kill, maybe you'll have no trouble in capturing him and bringing him here alive."

„You can do that can you boy?" queried Troy.

I hesitated at first, mainly because I was tasked to attack and betray a friend. After hesitating I nodded and agreed, „Okay, I'll do it."

„You're doing the right thing Mikhail," praised Jeremiah.

„That's a good boy Mikhail, I knew you'd accept this mission," praised Troy also, slapping my back repeatedly. Something about the look on Troy's face was unsettling, it looked like there was something sinister behind the look.

„I just need a little time for some preparation," I claimed.

„Sure, help yourself in the pantry for any munition, gear and supplies you need. If you want to commence the operation at night then be my guest. Just make sure you carry out the mission, we wont have long before Walker plans another attack."

„I understand," I conceded, getting off my seat and preparing to leave.

All of a sudden a familiar figure ripped through the entrance of the tent, it was Vernon Trimbol.

„Jeremiah, may I have a word with you," requested Vernon.

„Sure Vernon," consented Jeremiah.

„Alone please," requested Vernon.

„Okay," accepted Jeremiah.

I took my leave and acknowledged Vernon on the way out who also acknowledged me.

As I walked outside, I heard a young female voice call my name, „Mikhail." I turned around to see it was Gretchen. She ran up to me and hugged me like she always basked in. „Mikhail, I need to talk to you," cried Gretchen.

„Sure," I agreed.

Our private conversation was tearful and heartbreaking, Gretchen announced to me she was leaving with her family because of the intimidation of Walker's tribe. Gretchen looked absolutely terrified and shook up, I had to soothe her by taking her in my arms and promising her it will be all right.

Gretchen and I saw Vernon and Troy arrive outside the tent and they were arguing and shouting at each other. Gretchen and I could only hear what the argument was about, it was about her brother Mike leaving too which Troy protested against because Mike was his friend. Troy stormed off in a strop while Vernon came to Gretchen and I.

„What's going on daddy, is Jeremiah giving us permission to leave?" sobbed Gretchen.

„Well Jeremiah says it's okay but Troy wants Mike to stay, but I couldn't allow that."

„What are we going to do?" wondered Gretchen.

„We are going to leave whether Troy likes it or not," suggested Vernon.

I thought about Troy and what he's capable of, I know he has violent tendencies and would kill anyone who crosses him, even if it was friends. There was no doubt that Troy would kill Mike and the rest of the Trimbols, I had to do something and ensure them a safe journey to where they were fleeing.

„Look I know you fear Qaletaqa Walker, but I have an idea," I interjected, which got the attention of both Gretchen and Vernon.

* * *

The Trimbols packed up and loaded their RV with supplies needed for the long journey and also took their horse with them. While they did that, I snuck into the RV and waited for Vernon to drive out of the ranch.

When the RV was at the gate, I could hear Troy screaming at Mike from outside and Jake intervening to stop him. A fight did break out but Jeremiah broke up the fight and ordered the gate to be opened so Vernon could drive away.

* * *

My plan was for Vernon to drive to the Black Hat Reservation where I would attempt to make a deal with Walker so he would guarantee the Trimbols a safe trouble-free journey. Vernon knew the way and willingly drove near the Black Hat Reservation and pulled over.

I had Gretchen accompany me to where we could see the Black Hat Reservation live with its inhabitants in the distance. I asked Vernon, Kahty and Mike to follow five minutes after Gretchen and I move into the premise.

„Ready Gretchen?" I asked a nervous Gretchen beside me.

„Ready," nervously answered Gretchen.

Gretchen and I walked down the hill and towards the Black Hat Reservation where we could be seen approaching. Once we were surrounded by those who recognized us, displayed friendly welcoming gestures. One of the members whose name I knew as ‚Lee' and was Walker's right-hand man, went to fetch him.

Gretchen was looking petrified and looked like she could fall down and curl up into a ball. I saw the fear in her eyes, she looked like a scared rabbit, who was about to run away from its predator.

„Hold my hand Gretchen," I commanded, which Gretchen did and started to feel more brave.

Walker then appeared from behind the diner looking at me with a smile on his face.

„Mikhail, so nice of you to come and visit us," greeted Walker.

„Same here Walker, so nice to see you again," I greeted back as Walker and I brotherly shook hands.

„So who's this young lady who has come to visit?"

„Well she's kind of the reason I have come, you see…"

My words were cut off by a loud voice in the distance, which got everyone's attention. „Walker, I've come in peace, I think we need to talk," said Vernon, walking with his wife and son by his side.

The look and light in Walker's eyes vanquished and his expression turned to burning rage, as he commanded, „Seize them."

Immediately the guards surrounded and attacked Vernon and seized Kathy and Mike.

„DADDY,' cried Gretchen, running over to her father only to be slapped by one of the guards and held to the ground.

„Walker please stop, I know what you're thinking, but this isn't what you think," I pleaded to Walker.

„You brought one of the founders here, Vernon Trimbol, one of the men who killed my people. Mikhail you appease me," said Walker, who then looked at his guards and ordered, „Scalp him."

„Nyet Walker don't, I'm here to make a bargain. I know what you want and I can give it to you. Just please don't kill Vernon or any other of the Trimbols, they want to leave the ranch and I need your help," I negotiated with Walker who then looked back at his guards.

„Release them," ordered Walker.

The guards obediently released the Trimbols.

„Okay Mikhail, what is it you offer?" asked Walker.

„Do you know Jeremiah Otto?" I questioned Walker.

„I do yeah, what about him?"

„I can give him to you, I can help you get back the ranch. All I'd like in return is you spare Gretchen and her family."

„I might not have told you the Story, but Vernon Trimbol along with Jeremiah Otto killed three of my men. You expect me to let him live?"

„I don't expect you to forgive him, but I'm hoping deep down you'll understand that killing Vernon will not solve anything, it wont bring your friends back. Please just let them go, they are in danger of being killed by Troy Otto, he doesn't tolerate deserters."

Walker hesitated and then nodded and approved, „As much as I would love to feed him to Troy, I'm willing to let him go and hope he dies a slow painful death in the far future."

„I'm sure he will, as much as I don't wish it personally, but thank you for doing this Walker."

Walker placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled, „You're a fighter Mikhail, but you're not a cold blooded warrior like us who does what is necessary to save his people."

„I will kill if I have to protect those I love, and I'm willing to protect Gretchen by all means necessary."

„That's why I would welcome you as a member of our tribe, but unfortunately, your heart belongs to another family."

„You are right Walker, but that doesn't mean I wont help friends in need. Jeremiah Otto is not my friend, he never was. He committed the crime now he's got to do the time."

Walker chuckled without a sound emanating from his lips and quipped, „You're funny Mikhail, you should be on TV pay per view."

„Mikhail," toned a quiet feminine voice in the distance. I turned my head and saw it was someone who I've met before. I met her in Mexico at a hotel, the one I saved from being raped, it was Ofelia.

Ofelia dropped the buckets of water she was carrying in each hand and ran to me. She jumped and wrapped her arms around me.

„I missed you so much," whispered Ofelia lovingly, resting her head on my shoulder.

I could see Gretchen with the look of envy on her face, I feared that there could be an altercation between the two.

„Ofelia, I didn't expect to see you here. Did you find William?" I asked Ofelia, still looking teary-eyed.

„No, I don't think I'll see him again," sniffed Ofelia.

„I'm happy to know you're safe," I said, touching Ofelia's shoulder.

„Same here Mikhail," smiled Ofelia.

„Aw such a touching scene," emitted a familiar voice, it was Troy.

Every guard of the Black Hat Reservation pointed their guns at Troy, who had Gretchen with a knife to her throat and a small device in his hand, with his thumb near a button.

„Guys guys guys, don't do anything too rash. I've rigged the place with explosives and could blow us to smithereens, so don't try anything clever."

„Troy, let Gretchen go," I ordered, but all Troy did was look at me dementedly.

„Mik-Kyle, are you in love with Gretchen?" asked Troy.

„Nyet, but I do care for her."

Gretchen hearing this made her smile and remain calm, I just hoped she would stay calm so I could diffuse the situation.

„Aw how romantic. You don't love her but you care for her, I think we know either way I've got you by the balls and you will do what I say, unless you want me to peel the skin off this little rabbit's face. Or worse, I apply one stroke of the blade and blood comes pouring out her throat, it's going to be a bloodbath."

„Troy, let my sister go. We're friends, and I know you protected Gretchen when she was being bullied in high school," reasoned Mike.

„Well times have changed, our friendship has changed. You should never have left. You should have stayed and that way we could have taken Walker and his Indians together, but no, the Russian is now your friend," dismissed Troy.

„His name is Mikhail," defended Mike.

„Mik-Kyle whatever, he knows he's already lost the war. You see this Mik-Kyle, I'm going to do a fine job on your sort of girlfriend's throat, how the blade will cut through flesh and bone like butter."

Gretchen whimpered and looked like she could cry. I telepathically tried to communicate to her, „Come on Gretchen, remember what I have taught you. Be brave and let the adrenaline do the work."

Gretchen held her breath, brought her heel up and struck Troy between the legs. Troy crouched in pain as Gretchen turned round, grabbed Troy's hair and delivered a knee in his face. She took his hand with the knife in and disarmed him by bending his the back of his hand inwards. After he dropped the knife, Gretchen slapped him hard at the side of the face and punched him with the other hand and the blow knocked Troy to the ground.

Troy winced on the ground looking disorientated. He tried to grab the detonator he dropped, but before he could grab it, I shot it to pieces with one shot from my Makarov. Troy then tried to grab the pistol from his hip, but I pointed my Makarov at him and warned, „Akh akh akh, don't think about it Troy, the game is up. You lost."

„Damn you Mik-Kyle you Russian… no I'm not going to say it, I'm not racist, but damn you to hell anyway."

„I've got one question for you, why are you here?"

„Well Mik-Kyle, I kind of noticed the way you looked at the photo you knew Walker personally, and because you hesitated about accepting this mission, I suspected you would turn against us."

„Well you got that one right Dick Tracy, or whoever you're favorite fictional detective is."

„Yeah well enough of the wisecracks, just finish me off." I hesitated about putting a bullet in Troy and he further goaded, „Well what are you waiting for? Do it, you've won."

I put my gun away and shook my head giving him a smug smile just to further insult him. The guards took him underarm and dragged him away.

„You'll regret not killing me when you had the chance, you hear me Mik-Kyle, you'll regret this," cursed Troy, unleashing a spray of saliva from his mouth which barely touched me.

I watched Troy being dragged inside and then I turned to see Gretchen surrounded by her family. I could see Gretchen looking hysterical. She was laughing and glorifying in her near death experience with Troy and escaping his grasp by using the self defense technique I taught her. The skin from her knuckles that she used to hit Troy were peeled and her hand was bright red. I did consider intervening to help Gretchen overcome her trauma, but I decided it was best to let her family help her.

* * *

While Gretchen was receiving medical treatment, I would have lunch with Walker to proper celebrate our reunion, then I would discuss with him plans how I was going to help him reclaim the ranch.

I did hear Troy in another room receiving medical treatment or being held for interrogation. One thing I remember distinctly hearing him say was, „I can't hear you, fucking bitch popped my eardrum." Which I know he was referring to Gretchen when she slapped him across the face. I couldn't help but laugh how Troy underestimated Gretchen's strength and got a nasty surprise.

* * *

After an intense private work out session with Walker's right-hand man, Lee, I decided to have a cigarette break. Lee gave me one of his cigarettes, which I was grateful for. I remember trying one of Lee's cigarettes and forgot how unique they tasted, not as good as the tobacco Marc Antony smoked, but still a tobacco I would give a very good rating and smoke again.

The silence would be disturbed by the voice of two females having a private conversation. I immediately identified these two females as Gretchen and Ofelia. After seeing Gretchen giving Ofelia an envious look when she hugged me, I found it incomprehensible that they would be having a seemingly colloquial and friendly conversation.

„So how do you know Mikhail?" asked Gretchen.

„Well I met him in Mexico, near the border. There was a group of men who tried to rape me and then Mikhail showed up and saved me," answered Ofelia. „What about you, how did you meet Mikhail?" asked Ofelia.

„Well he didn't save me like he saved you, but I did see him kick-ass. Believe me he's a real macho."

„I know, he took down the entire gang like he was Chow Yun-fat or some other hero from a John Woo film."

„Chow Yun-Fat and John Woo, who are they?"

„Long story short, my ex-fiancee made me watch those films. He loved a good action film."

„My parents would never make me watch that stuff, they told me it's trash and it rots your brain."

„So what's your fascination with Mikhail?"

„Can you keep a secret?"

„Sure."

„Mikhail you see, I like him. I really like him." Gretchen was shuddering with nerves.

„You mean you have feelings for him?"

„Yeah."

„Can you keep a secret Gretchen?"

„Yeah."

„I really like him too."

„Yeah?"

„I do. I tried to give him the hint that it was okay to kiss me, but for some reason he didn't want to kiss me."

„I tried to kiss him too, but unfortunately he declined and told me he had eyes for someone else."

„Yeah he told me, I know her."

„You know Alicia?"

„Yeah, she's my friend. I will admit that I'm jealous of her, but I care more about Mikhail's happiness and what he wants."

„Me too. Even though I wanted to be reunited with my ex-fiancee, I might have to accept my loss and move on."

„Guess I'm going to have to do the same. Mikhail wants to be with Alicia and I must respect that."

„Gretchen don't be sad, you'll find true love. It takes time to recover from heartbreak, but eventually you'll realize those feelings have faded and you'll be ready to give your heart to someone else."

„You're right Ofelia, I know someday you'll find true love too."

All of a sudden a third voice cuts in, „Gretchen Trimbol, you are wanted inside. Walker wants to talk to you."

After Gretchen walked inside, I snuck around the corner and saw Ofelia was still sitting down. I decided to have a conversation with her.

„Hi Ofelia," I greeted.

„Hi Mikhail," greeted Ofelia warmly.

„Is everything okay with you."

„I'm fine Mikhail, just relaxing."

„How did you wind up here?"

„I made it past the Mexican border, but was shot at by an old man. I think you might know him, his name is Jeremiah Otto."

„Da I know him. Why did he shoot at you?"

„I'm not sure why, but that's not the worst he did. He left me to walk in the desert."

This news shocked me and I reacted in my mother-tongue, „Nyet."

„Yes, he didn't help me because I'm brown."

Hearing that Jeremiah Otto is racist, induced my dislike towards him and my sympathy towards Ofelia. „Ofelia that is terrible, you're a beautiful brown lady." As I said those sweet words to Ofelia, I realized I was stroking down her bare arm. „O I'm sorry," I apologized, removing my fingers away from her arm.

„No," responded Ofelia softly, she brushed her finger down my nose, brushed her finger across my lips and whispered, „You're a very handsome man, a handsome Russian."

Immediately I felt a tingle in my spin, felt the compulsion to smile and blush. „You think so?"

Ofelia nodded her head, placed her hand on my face and whispered, „Yeah."

She was giving me the same flirtatious and seductive look I failed to understand back at the hotel. It almost resembled the same look Gretchen gave me when she tried to kiss me.

„Ofelia, I would love to kiss you but…."

„You still have feelings for Alicia?"

„Da but I…"

„Did you find her?"

„Da, she's at the ranch with her family."

„Did you tell her how you feel?"

„Nyet, I think she's… I kind of want to wait for the right time."

„Oh Mikhail, a kiss doesn't have to be about commitment. We can kiss for fun, have a little practice," enticed Ofelia with a wide gleaming smile.

„Ofelia I'm really flattered, but it's just… I've never kissed a girl," I confessed.

„Really?" Ofelia looked surprised, „How I mean... why?"

„I guess it's because before I saw Alicia, I never really had an interest in girls, only when I saw Alicia did that change. There were other girls who looked like they were interested in me, but I rejected them because I wanted to save my love for Alicia."

„Aw Mikhail that is so sweet, I… I understand that you want to save yourself for Alicia because she means so much to you, but you need to tell her."

„I know everyone I told says that."

„Then do it, you don't want to miss the opportunity."

„I'll do it after I've removed Jeremiah Otto and have given Walker back his land, then I'll tell Alicia how much I've always loved her."

„You should do that Mikhail, just be sincere and she'll believe you."

„Da you are right."

„What about Gretchen, what's going on between you two?"

Hearing that name stirred up a qualm, feeling both guilty and concerned how I was going about it and if I was doing what was best for her. „She knows how I feel about Alicia, but it's obvious she's falling for me. Her family want to leave the ranch and I'm going to help them do it."

„But why, why do you care about Gretchen so much? I know you don't have to love to care, but why are you so protective of Gretchen?"

„Gretchen reminds me of someone back at school who I mislead and hurt her feelings. I want to make up for the past and help Gretchen and her family escape to Colorado. My only concern is that I don't break Gretchen's heart and that her and I depart on good happy terms."

„Mikhail that is so sweet, I hope you are doing what is right for Gretchen, she's a very delicate flower."

„I know, but you're a tough lady, getting this far and doing what you had to do to survive."

„Well Gretchen did the same when she took down Troy, but her and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

„I feel honored."

Ofelia smiled at me and praised, „You're a real hero Mikhail, someday everyone will know your name."

Hearing Ofelia's kind and eulogistic words rendered me speechless. I aspired to become an actor and become loved and praised by everyone, and I knew how close I was to achieving such a status and reputation.

Ofelia got up and said, „I got to go and help prepare dinner."

„Okay," I approved as Ofelia smiled and placed her hand on my shoulder before she disappeared inside.

* * *

After dinner, where I saw the Trimbols were also fed and remained un-harassed by Walker's tribe, I occupied myself outside with a campfire, black tea and a cigarette while I dismantled and cleaned my weapons.

When I was finished cleaning the small parts of my Makarov and was about to put them back together, I saw Vernon approach to have a private talk with me. It was the first time ever I had a private talk with Vernon Trimbol.

„Hey Mikhail, you got a minute?" asked Vernon.

„Da sure, please sit down," I offered, which Vernon did and sat next to me.

„Mikhail, I've been talking with my family and them including me are thankful for what you did for us."

„It's my pleasure Vernon, I knew it wasn't safe at the ranch with that hypocrite running it."

„Well Jeremiah and I go way back, but unfortunately he sees the solution to his problems down in a bottle, but anyway that's not what I wanted to talk about. Gretchen told me everything and I know how much you mean to my little girl, she's always talking about you."

„Well I have been spending a lot of time with her." I felt nervous and tried to make Vernon believe that things between her and I were platonic.

„I'm not saying that I have anything against you spending time with my little girl, even if there's something going on between you. I just wanted to say that you are invited to come with us if you want, become my little girl's husband. She needs someone like you to look after her and care for her."

Hearing marriage did turn my stomach, not about who I was going to marry, but rather the idea of getting married. Sounds like a really big step to even consider something so impetuous.

„That has crossed my mind, but unfortunately I have business to take care of. I promised Walker I would help him take back the ranch, so I have to stay."

„Well after you've completed your mission, you can always come and see us. Don't forget we are in Colorado, just ask for the Trimbols and they'll help you find us."

„That sounds really good Vernon, I will give it some thought."

Vernon smiled, stood up, offered his hand and said, „It was great knowing you Mikhail, good luck."

„Good luck to you too Vernon, and have a safe journey." I shook his hand.

Vernon didn't reply, he smiled and turned to join his family who were already packing their RV with supplies, which I assumed Walker offered them. Mike noticed me and came up to me to say goodbye to me, we parted like old friends going away for a long time. I would love to say that Mike could have been Matt's successor to becoming my new best friend, but unfortunately I wasn't going to be seeing him for a long time. I think there's tensions between Jake and I, so the chances of him becoming my new best friend are slim.

Kathy Trimbol also came up to me to say goodbye and last but not least, Gretchen. She approached me with a smile on her face, obviously wanting to say goodbye to me too. I could see she had a bandaged hand, obviously she injured her hand when she punched Troy.

„Hey," whispered Gretchen in a very hoarse voice, probably feeling nervous or somewhat maudlin.

„Hey Gretchen, you ready for your long journey to the Rockies?"

„Yeah I guess so. I always liked traveling and seeing new worlds and experiencing cultures. I even liked seeing different wildlife, even the flora and fauna."

„You're really into nature are you?"

„Yeah."

„Then you'll love Russia, just hope you'll get to visit should the apocalypse end and we can rebuild."

„Maybe we can go to Russia together," smiled Gretchen

I laughed at Gretchen's witty remark and romantic fantasy and humored, „Gretchen, showing you Russia would be something I'd love to do. First you need to stay with your family and be strong for them, they need you. Without you they would fall, they need that little light in their life to keep them both strong, mentally and physically. That's the only true way to survive, you need to ask yourself the reason why you want to live and what it is you fight for."

„You," retorted Gretchen with a cheeky smile on her face.

I laughed and said, „I know you like me and you want to be with me, but I was thinking of the future. Is there anything you wanted to be and have in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life?"

„I wanted to finish school, go to college, get a degree, become a vet, marry a good strong and decent husband and have children, maybe two or three."

The way Gretchen revealed her future aspirations and the future she could have had, did sound teary and mawkish. I saw her neck muscles twitch as if she swallowed something in her throat and she blinked fast, rather sporadicly. I even saw her dab her right eye with her index finger, that's when my suspicions were correct.

„Gretchen."

„Yeah?" croaked Gretchen.

I lightly clamped her chin with my thumb, turned her head towards me and requested, „Look at me." I could see she had fresh tears leaking in her eyes.

„Mikhail, please come with us," sobbed Gretchen as tears strew down her face.

„Gretchen I'm sorry, I need to stay and keep my end of the bargain with Walker. It's the only way I can guarantee you and your family a safe journey to Colorado."

„Oh Mikhail, I'll miss you, I'm really going to miss you." Gretchen's crying got more intense and loud.

„Gretchen nyet, don't do that," I pleaded, wiping away the tears with my thumbs and kissing her delicately and tenderly on the forehead. I slowly tore my lips away from her forehead and looked at her now smiling face, looking happy and serene. She had stopped crying and her eyes twinkled, I don't think I've ever seen her look so happy before.

„Look I have an idea, if you see me in a month's time, it means Alicia said no; but if I you don't see me in a month's time, it means Alicia has said yes. Please don't hold out for me, I would like you to find another man, but only when you're ready," I proposed.

My proposal made Gretchen smile again as she responded, „Okay, I'll try and do what I have to to be happy."

I smiled too and allowed Gretchen to hold my hand until Gretchen's mother interrupted, „Gretchen, come on honey, we're leaving."

„Mikhail," worried Gretchen.

„Gretchen, you got to go with your family," I encouraged.

Gretchen slung her arms around me and embraced me tightly. She then kissed me on the cheek and whispered softly into my ear, „I love you."

Hearing Gretchen say those words to me did make me feel loved and wanted, but I refrained myself from saying the same to her. I did not want to mislead her and give her false hope, I just wanted us to part on good terms and we both accept the idea that we might never see each other again and we have to move on.

Gretchen released me, smiled and got off her feet. She held my hand and allowed it to slide off my palm and brush my fingers. She continued to smile as she looked over her shoulder while she walked with her mother to the RV where her father and brother were waiting. Behind the RV were two of Walker's men in another vehicle ready to tailgate from behind. I watched Gretchen and her mother board the RV, she even waved to me before she disappeared into the RV.

I stood in the middle of the road and watched the RV and the escort vehicle drive off and disappear into the darkness of the night, until all I could hear was the sound of locusts. Still feeling the kiss Gretchen left on my cheek, I could feel it sink in and become a memory. A memory I would always treasure where for the first time ever, I felt loved by another girl.

 **To be continued…**


	15. Chapter 15: Ultimatum

**Chapter 15: Ultimatum**

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

 **\- Winston Churchill**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 10.09.2010**

I've already chosen sides and have decided where my loyalty lies. Normally I'm not the kind of person who goes back on one's word, but I made an oath, which I promised to keep and deliver. If I'm to lose respect and diminish my reputation, so be it. I wasn't going to be a hero in everyone's eyes.

* * *

The sun had fallen and the night sky had emerged, the lights were on and everyone was either socializing or basking in their own company. Me I was basking in my own company, I was watching and waited patiently for the time when I was going to infiltrate the ranch and capture Jeremiah Otto, the man who I was about to voluntarily betray.

Otto reestablished society by building his own community on his ranch, which he allegedly stole from Walker. The apocalypse was Walker's opportunity to seize the ranch with force and by no legal means, like he claimed he tried to do with the Ottos back then. This time it was personal and Walker was going to stop at nothing to take back, which he truly believed was his. If nothing was done about it, there was going to be bloodshed and innocent lives would be lost, and that was something I wanted to prevent. I wasn't going to kill Otto, but I was going to capture him and bring him to Walker alive. Once Otto was in Walker's Hands, I knew that the likelihood that Walker would spare Otto was doubtful. One thing Walker did guarantee me was that he was willing to allow the other residents of the ranch to integrate on the condition that there would be no hostilities. I knew then that I was doing the right thing by siding with Walker, but I knew the ranchers would not approve, there was even a risk they would lose respect for me. Whatever the outcome would be I hoped Madison, Alicia and Nick would forgive me and understand why I did what I did.

* * *

Still sitting in darkness observing the ranch, feeling alone and isolated, I pondered about how Gretchen and her family were doing. Even though it's Alicia I love and not Gretchen, I have been fantasizing about what if I accepted the Trimbols' offer and left with them. Of course I would have to fulfill my promise to Walker and take back the ranch, but what if I accepted and they waited for me? What of instead of kissing Gretchen on the head I made the scene even more beautiful and comforting. I would sell Gretchen my first kiss by bestowing a soft gentle touching of my lips on hers. I like to imagine how elated and vivified after being treated to what she hoped to feel and taste. She would hear that I've decided to take her hand and start a new life with her.

After coming back from the mission I would embark on the long journey with the Trimbols to Colorado, somewhere I've never been before. I wouldn't imagine much to fit in a novel other than we reach Colorado, own a ranch where I get settled in. Gretchen teaches me how to ride a horse and we occasionally go horseback riding together until the sun goes down.

When we are in bed together, I'm laying on my back staring up at the ceiling, casting a pale blue, mundane moonlight. I feel Gretchen's arm around me, followed by a kiss on the cheek.

„Mikhail, what's wrong?" concerned Gretchen.

I didn't answer Gretchen, I continued to stare at the ceiling before coming up with a plausible excuse, „Nothing, I'm just thinking about tomorrow."

„About the wedding?" bubbled Gretchen.

The thought of getting married popped in my head and I found myself in a small outdoor ceremony with a small audience. Gretchen was wearing a cheap humble, slim white wedding dress and I was wearing a cheap black suit. I could see the look on Gretchen's face looking tearfully excited, while I was less enthusiastic. I then thought about the idea that I had already decided to let Alicia go.

On the way to Colorado I had one last look at the photo of Alicia and I whispered, „Goodbye Alicia." I threw the photo out of the open window and watched it flutter away onto the road. I pondered on that decision and realized what a mistake that was.

I then thought back to when I was still in bed with Gretchen and I was staring at the ceiling. Without looking at her I said, „I can't." I then pressed the rewind button in my head and travelled back to where I am now, observing the Ranch, waiting to proceed with the mission.

I pulled out the photo of Alicia, took a deep breath and breathed out. I shook my head and said to myself, „Nyet, I love you Alicia, sooner or later you'll know." It was true, it was Alicia I loved and not Gretchen. I cared for Gretchen, I worried about her wellbeing and cared very much for her happiness, but I can't give Gretchen the love she deserves. A marriage with her would be out of pity, not happiness. Marriages are suppose to be about happiness and fulfillment. That could only be achieved with Alicia and not with Gretchen. It's not over, I haven't given up hope, somewhere in my heart I can sense a gleam of hope that I can win Alicia's love. I will win Alicia's love, I know it. After capturing Jeremiah for Walker, I will approach Alicia and tell her how I feel.

* * *

Still feeling the nerves before proceeding with the mission, I pulled out my cigarettes and saw I only had one left. Looking at that lone cigarette and sitting down played a flashback when I still lived in Los Angeles and before I wound up in hospital. I was sitting on the pavement and beside me was the little girl, whom I bought an ice cream out of sympathy and generosity.

„You smoke?" asked the little girl after taking a mouthful of ice cream.

Knowing I was holding a cigarette in front of a little girl who was too young to smoke, made me feel dirty for taking up the habit. I should know that second hand smoking can be harmful to those who don't smoke. I answered her question reluctantly, „Erm da, I do."

„You shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you."

„Da I know, it's a silly habit I just got into."

„But why, did they not teach you the dangers of smoking?"

„I don't know, I took up smoking. I tried it once and I just found them in my hand, that was when I knew I could not stop."

„When I grow up, I'm not going to smoke."

I turned round to look at the little girl who's almost finished her ice cream just to smile at her wise remark. „Good girl, I know you wont."

„My name is Mina, what's yours?"

Hearing the girl's name starts with a 'm', thrilled me and I gave her my name, „Mikhail."

„Meek-Kyle."

„Mikhail, got to make a ‚h' sound after the ‚k' just to get the pronunciation right."

„Okay Mik-hail, you're not from here are you?"

„Nyet, I'm from Russia."

The girl's face beamed with joy as she had a mouthful of ice cream in her mouth. „Really? I love Russia, I like Anastasia."

„O you mean Anastasia Romanov, the Russian princess?"

„Yeah you know her?"

„I sure do, she was a real person. Her family were removed from power by the Russian revolutionaries."

„I thought it was Rasputin who sold his soul so the Russian people turned against the Czar and tried to kill them."

I laughed at how inaccurate the animated film she obviously saw was, as I debunked, „Rasputin was a real person, but he didn't sell his soul so the people turned against the Czar."

Mina's face turned to surprise as she ate the last of her ice cream cone, „Really, how? Why did the Russians turn against the Czar?"

„It's a long story."

Mina consumed the tip of the cone and brushed her hands clean and pressed, „Come on tell me."

„Well okay well you see before Rasputin came to the Czar…"

My words were cut when I heard a loud female voice from behind.

„Mina, come inside it's getting late."

„Got to go Mikhail, thank you for the ice cream," thanked Mina.

Mina kissed me on the cheek and I felt sticky ice cream on my cheek which made me blush and feel happiness in my heart for what I did for her. I watched her skip to the door.

„Mina, what did I tell you about talking to strangers?" scolded her mother.

„He's not a stranger mummy, his name is Mikhail and he's from Russia."

I didn't hear the continuation as Mina's mother slammed the door shut before she could respond. Now I was alone again, I looked at the cigarette and reflected about Mina's disapproval and advice about the dangers of smoking. It didn't matter whether I quit or not, I was going to be dead soon anyway. That's right, I was still going to go ahead with the suicide attempt. However, meeting Mina and doing a good deed for her made me feel good about myself and brought a sense of peace and closure. I was going to die, but this prepared me for it, so I could leave the world as a happier being.

* * *

„Okay Mikhail, snipers are in position," toned Walker's voice behind me.

„I've heard Lee is a very good sniper," I praised, putting my cigarette away.

„He is indeed, he's been in the forces and has a high kill count. You're lucky to have him as backup."

„I feel lucky," I smiled, and when I said that I was being optimistic about succeeding in the mission and winning Alicia's heart subsequently. „I'm ready to go," I said as Walker follows behind me to back me up.

I ran towards the ranch stealthy through the moonless chilled night. I cut through the fence, creating a little threshold for Walker and I, which would guarantee us safe passage to Jeremiah's house. Jeremiah's house illuminated in the night, while everything surrounding it was shrouded in darkness providing the best cover to infiltrate the house undetected.

Once we were at the house, I helped Walker climb the balcony, so he could infiltrate via the top floor, while I will proceed through the entrance ready to face Jeremiah and reveal to him my betrayal; which I personally justified.

* * *

Standing at the main entrance, prepared for entry, I opened the door casually and walked in, expecting to see Jeremiah drinking at his desk already drunk. The house was strangely quiet and the lights were on. I walked farther into the house acting normal like I was paying Jeremiah a visit, but what I discovered would shock me to the very core.

Instead of finding Jeremiah sitting at his desk as normal, I saw him sitting at his desk with no head. Nothing but a slumped body and bloody stump still leaking with blood. There was even blood strewn over his desk and blood sprayed on the lamp shades and on some of the desk ornaments, even on his drinking glass like little red beads. I've seen heads explode through ballistics and heads being partly sliced, but never a head off its shoulders, this was a consternation that was new to me and have not got used to stomaching.

„Expected to see him in one piece did ya?" emitted a discernible voice.

I pointed my REX revolver where the sound came from and there slouched a shadow in the corner. The shadow sprung into life and a small light flicked from what looked and sounded like a lighter. It was lighting a cigarette, while it lit a cigarette, I could see his face partly light up. Immediately it hit me, it was a dreadful sight, a face of someone I knew and who I knew came back to terrorize me. It was Marc Antony.

„Mikhail Mikhail is that how you always greet visitors, where are your fucking manners bro?" I didn't put the gun down, I aimed it at him and he got off his chair and stepped into the light having no qualms about me pulling the trigger. „Chill bro chill, I'm not armed. Look you can search me." Marc Antony was wearing his seemingly precious fur coat that he wore the last time he visited. „Look I'll take off my coat." He took off his coat and revealed to be wearing a black and gold paisley long-sleeved shirt underneath. „See I'm not armed," Marc Antony smirked, as he took a drag from his cigarette.

„What are you doing here Marc Antony?" I asked in a serious tone.

„What am I doing here, who says I can't be here? I'll come when I want bro. No one tells me what to do bro. Just kidding I'm sounding like a gangster wannabe, man you should know what these wannabe gangsters are really like in the face of danger. They freeze, they shiver, they squirm and they scream like babies. I should know because I've seen them. What they happen to be missing are the balls to do what no other nigga has down before. You see that guy over there?" Marc Antony pointed at the decapitated body of Jeremiah.

„He had a name you know, Jeremiah," I defended, without feeling much sentimentality for the recently deceased Jeremiah Otto.

„Oh whatever bro, his name will be on a tombstone should he ever get a tombstone. I think you should know it was a messy job cutting a knife into flesh and cutting through bone. It was just like shop-class," Marc Antony smiled, showing his twisted and psychopathic nature. „All these people who act tough, you know wannabe gangsters, couldn't muster the courage to put a knife, let alone a bullet in someone. We on the other hand have already passed that rite and are reborn to become what we are meant to do."

„I'm not like you Marc, I don't kill for the sake of it or to rise to power," I disapproved.

Marc Antony turned his back on me and took another drag. He spun around on the tip of his toes to face me and demur, „Well it's only a matter of time until you realize why you kill to survive. If you think you can kill to preserve peace, think again. I know your friend Walker and his tribe. In fact I was the one who convinced him to not attack the ranch until Jeremiah and his ranchers were at their most vulnerable. And you know what that is?"

„Nyet, tell me about it."

„This ranch is running short on its water supply and it wont be long before the whole community will descend into chaos and there will be internal conflicts. However, I'm not going to say much more, it's time to give you what you came here for. Stay there."

Marc Antony walked into the corner where he sat. He picked something with one hand in the dark corner and threw it underarm at me with a cigarette dangling in his mouth. It was the fresh severed head of Jeremiah Otto. Its dead eyes stared at me and there was a neat clean hole in its forehead, a low calibre bullet must have penetrated the skull.

„Careful it's still dripping," warned Marc Antony, blowing out a cloud of smoke. He wasn't kidding, I could see blood dripping onto my shoe and some blood got on my hands. „Oh dear you've got it all over your hands," mocked Marc Antony, going into the dark corner again to grab something and throw it at me. „Here catch, there's a nice little bag to put the head in." Marc Antony threw me a rather large dry sack to put the head in.

Placing the head in the sack I even got another object thrown at me by Marc Antony, „Think fast." I caught the light object and it was a pack of cigarettes. „You like cigarettes. Don't worry about me I don't smoke that shit. I smoke real ones, but you, you'll smoke any crap."

I nodded in approval, putting the cigarettes in my pocket and seeing Marc Antony strutting slowly towards me. „There is one thing I would like in return," he got closer to my ear as I allowed him to whisper something private to me, „I want you to leave the ranch."

„What makes you think I'll do that?" I asked, not feeling threatened.

„Why?… well if there's one thing I don't like is having my generosity spat on. So I've come up with an ultimatum should you not comply. Tell me Mikhail, do you know why our countries had a cold war when we could have had a third world war?" asked Marc Antony, clasping his hands with a smug smile.

„Because both our countries had nukes," I answered, recalling my meager knowledge of the cold war.

„Correct Mikhail," marveled Marc Antony, turning his back on me and pointing his finger in the air before turning round to face me and take another drag on his cigarette. „If it wasn't for your country also having nukes at their disposal, then there wouldn't have been a cold war. Because if only one had nukes, would technically have had power over the people, with the threat to unleash armageddon should they not yield or comply. Oh and guess what, I'm the one who has a nuke and I'm ready to use it on this ranch. Think of the damage it will do and how there wont be a single body left when everything here is blown to kingdom come." Marc Antony then looked at me with a deadpan stare. „What you don't believe me? Let me show you," he whipped out a phone and showed me his phone was making a FaceTime connection and showed me one of his henchmen answering the call. „Yo bro, show our Russian friend that we mean business," ordered Marc Antony and the masked henchman pointed his camera phone at a mobile missile launch-pad. The missile was long and had a yellow painted head and was mounted on the back of a truck, it looked ready to launch with the simple touch of a button. „See what I mean brother, this baby is ready to launch right where we're standing. Still want to press your luck?" bullied Marc Antony wrapping his arm around me.

It was at this moment I realized Marc Antony wasn't kidding and he was in possession of a nuke and could launch at anytime. I decided to comply and give into his notorious threat, „Nyet, I'll go, if it means the safety of the ranch."

„Be out the ranch by midday tomorrow, now it's a generous offer. I would take it if I were you."

„Da, whatever you say."

„Good," Marc Antony slapped my back, I saw him walk to the chair he sat on and swing on his coat while looking at me. „Love to stay and talk some more Mikhail, but…" before he could finish his sentence a round metal cylinder object dropped out of his coat-sleeve and hit the floor, „I got to run, you should too."

Marc Antony's quip was so sharp and sly, I could then confirm what it was he dropped on the floor. Before I knew what it was, a bright white light filled the room and everything went silent.

The whiteness faded and I could hear my ears ringing and frantic voices getting closer to the house. It was clear what the trick was Marc Antony dropped out of his sleeve, it was a flash bang, and I got caught in its blast radius. My temporarily stunned and debilitated senses recovered and I prepared myself for what came bursting through the door.

Not one man but another and then another. It was clear I was being pursued by a group of people who weren't average residents of the Ranch, but members of Jeremiah Otto's private militia. They were armed with automatic rifles and they pointed them at me expressing steely cold, attentive eyes. Jake walked in from behind the five militia men who had their sights on me and fingers on the trigger.

Jake saw his father's headless corpse and gasped in horror. He looked at me and for the first time ever and gave me an angry look. „Mikhail what did you do?" interrogated Jake. „I SAID WHAT DID YOU DO!" yelled Jake, pulling out a handgun and pointing it at me.

„Jake, I know what you're thinking but it's not like that. I…"

„What do you have in your hand? Is that my dad's head?"

„Jake, please listen to me, I'm not the one who killed and decapitated him. He was like this before I got here."

Jake's face turned sorrowful, his face scrunched and tears leaked out of his eyes. „Liar, I trusted you. I convinced him to take you in. I defended you, I fed you, I tried to be your friend and this is how you repay me?" cried Jake. He collapsed on the floor and wept. I wanted to walk up to him and comfort him, but the militia held me back. Then I heard the most backstabbing words, it made Matt's mysterious betrayal tamer in comparison. „Kill him," ordered Jake.

The room went into a brief moment of silence and the faces retained their riveting eyes on me. I estimated the exact moment their fingers were half way down the triggers and their bullets would fly across the room. My knees and body dropped to the floor and I leapt like a rat on its back legs. I kept below the bullets that whizzed over my head, I knew the muzzle climb on a 5.56 automatic rifle would be low, compared to that of an 7.62. I somersaulted when my feet touched the ground and I threw my legs out and kicked two of the militia men in the knee cap, who still had their rifles pointed at the horizon. The one in the middle pointed his rifle down at me and I kicked the rifle away with the other leg I drove it up his groin. While he kept his feet firmly on the ground and was crouched, he provided me the edge to perform my next improvised attack. I rolled back until my feet were on the ground, then I ran on the militiaman's (who I kicked in the groin) back and kicked the two militiamen (same ones who I kicked in the kneecap) who were standing by his side in the face. The militiaman who still was crouching after I jumped on his back and landed on my feet behind him and kicked him in the backside. He went flying across the room and his head crashed through Jeremiah's desk.

I knew it was best to stay close to the militiamen so they don't deploy the use of their rifles, they didn't seem to be the type to shoot at their own People, even if it was necessary. With three down and two to go, I was in a very tense Situation, where I was in a more open space meaning I could still be at the receiving end of a bullet. One of the militiamen I knew as ‚Cooper', he was a big bald guy with a long beard. I knew he was going to be the hardest to take down because of his size. I turned to the other militiaman, whose name I didn't know and decided he's my next target.

He saw the distance between him and me and used the advantage to fire his weapon at me. Able to predict when the trigger will be pulled, hear the inside of the automatic rifle and know when the firing pin was going to penetrate the round, I dodged the first burst of ammunition. My opponent was slick and cunning to stop aiming for my upper body as he tried to shoot my legs. Again I dodged, but this time doing a butterfly-kick and avoiding the gunfire from catching my legs. I was close enough to unleash a backhand to his face and grab his rifle. I saw that Cooper had his eyes on me and was pointing his sidearm at me, I had to act now. I pressed the magazine release of my opponent's rifle, which fell out and I kicked it and it struck Cooper hard in the face. I knew it wasn't enough until Cooper regained his senses and resumed attacking. I ripped the rifle out of my opponent's hands and butted him in the face with the rifle, then I grabbed him and threw him at Cooper who had his gun pointed at me. He crashed into Cooper and they both fell on the floor. With him down, Cooper got back on his feet and decided to fight me using his bare-hands.

It was clear that Cooper would probably best me in terms of strength, so I had to use quick and devastating attacks to take him down. I looked into Cooper's wild eyes, like a footballer ready to clash with his opponent before the round begins. I charged at him and launched myself off the ground and delivered a flying knee directly in his nose which made him stagger back. He showed his face and I could see that I flattened his nose and blood was leaking. I could see he stood in front of the window and I saw this as the decisive moment that would grant me victory over this leviathan. I filled my body with rage and focused on my target, I dashed at Cooper and performed a flying kick, which sounded like a muffled gunshot as my foot impacted on his chest. He flew backwards and crashed out of the window and disappeared outside, probably down and will stay down from having accumulated such injuries I inflicted on him.

I was panting and wheezing, feeling the adrenaline and the joy of fighting, which I wasn't proud to admit. I cleared my mind and tried to justify it as a means of survival and not thrill-seeking, which I knew could corrupt my mind.

Seeing the head in the sack by my feet, I picked it up and I heard a handgun click beside me, which prompted me to turn around and see it was Jake pointing a gun at me. This was something I would expect from Troy but not from Jake, who did have the potential to become my new best friend. He was kind, helpful and supportive, but not anymore, I was now seeing a different side to Jake.

„It's not over Mikhail, this time you lose," gloated Jake, feeling in control.

„Drop it now Jake Otto, you've lost. The ranch is mine," ordered Walker.

„Walker it's okay, I've got this," I pleaded, hoping to reason with Jake and not resort to violence.

„You can't win Mikhail, you wont get out of here alive. I can make sure of that."

„Jake please, it wasn't me or Walker who killed your father, it was Marc Antony."

Jake hesitated, but dismissed my side of the story and accused, „Liar, that's what a traitor like you would say."

„It's true Jake, Marc Antony was here, he's gone now," revealed Walker.

„Stay out of this Walker, this is between me and the Russian."

„Jake please stop this, we're friends, I would never kill anyone in cold-blood. You got to believe me."

„You're no friend of mine. Your loyalty was always with Alicia and never his friends. Just because she chose me you wanted to hurt me by killing my father."

Hearing Jake accusing me of putting Alicia before him, confirmed that Alicia was going to be what would cause a rift between Jake and I. I couldn't deny that I was jealous of Jake and part of me wanted to hurt him, but I didn't want to cause an altercation as a result of it.

„Jake, come on now, put the gun down. This is the only way you can survive this."

„Is that a threat Mikhail? Why bother asking?"

I saw Jake's finger tighten around the trigger and I knew he made his decision that would end this once or could have been beautiful friendship. The bullet whizzed over my head and I heightened my grip on the sack near the opening and using it as a flail, I struck Jake in head with his father's skull. He crashed onto the floor with the gun falling out of his hand. He tried crawling to retrieve his gun and I pulled out my Makarov (because it causes less damage and I didn't want to execute him).

„Akh akh akh don't think about it Jake, I wont hesitate to put a bullet in you and it's going to do so much damage, you'll be practically disabled."

Jake turned to face me and I could see the right side of his face was red and swollen, even his eye. „Do it Mikhail, just finish me off."

I smiled feeling sadistic and declined Jake's wish, „Nyet Jake, I'm not giving you the satisfaction. I'm sorry Alicia turned you down for sex and you had to be a douche about it, but if you ever made any threats or was violent towards her, we are going to have more falling out."

„Alicia is mine asshole, she came to me and kissed me."

„A kiss, bol'shoy and that makes you a couple, I don't think so. She was just confused, she didn't know what she wanted exactly, that's why she turned you down."

„She'll never love you Mikhail."

„Well I've got some good news for you Jake, since Madison will not want to leave the ranch and will want to keep her family here, you wont be seeing me again."

„What does that mean?"

„It means I'm going and Alicia and her family are staying. Whatever you do and how you approach Alicia, you better be good to her. Because if you upset her in anyway, Walker is going to take your scalp."

„Consider it done Mikhail," smiled Walker, showing delight and temptation on his gratified face.

I pulled out the cigarettes I inherited from Jeremiah's corpse and taunted Jake, „I thank your father for the cigarettes, I can never do without these." I pulled out the last cigarette I had in my packet before the mission and put it in my mouth. I looked at Jake and fished the lighter from his pocket without much resistance from him. „You don't mind if I borrow your lighter… thank you," I lit my cigarette and threw the lighter at Jake's chest who looked at me with contempt, obviously showing signs that he's planning a future reprisal with me.

Rather than cause any harm to Jake, I decided to get some fresh air and ruminate about what I knew I had to do and how I was going to explain it to Madison (or even Alicia) and how she would take it.

* * *

I didn't get much sleep that night, I was disturbed by Walker's men moving in to occupy the ranch on such short notice. I was also disturbed with what I had to do and that my opportunity to tell Alicia how I feel was once again thwarted. You might be thinking why didn't I tell her how I feel before I leave, and I decided it wasn't a good idea. In case Alicia did feel the same way about me, I didn't want to cause her anymore pain knowing that we would have to part ways for the safety of her, her family and the ranch. I also didn't want to have Alicia make the tough decision with either choosing to go with her knight in shining armor or stay with her family. Madison I knew had already grown attached to the ranch and I didn't think would be willing to leave the ranch with her family, even if she could have someone like me to protect her and her two children. I haven't forgotten about Travis, he was still in a coma and Madison I know cares for him and hopes he will come out of his coma.

I was approached by Walker while I was packing my gear in the pantry, either wishing me farewell or attempting to convince me to stay.

„Leaving so soon Mikhail?" asked Walker.

„Da, unfortunately Marc Antony gave me until midday to clear off, otherwise he'll launch the nuke," I answered rather poignantly.

„Mikhail, Marc Antony has to be stopped I agree. He deceived me as much as he deceived you."

„You knew Marc Antony?"

„I did, he made a proposal. He promised me the ranch and advised me to delay the attack until the ranch's water supply dwindles."

„The water supply is dwindling, how?"

„It hasn't rained for a long time, so it's going to be a struggle to supply everyone with water."

„Bozhe moy, how are your people going to get by?"

„Marc Antony offered to supply me with water until it rains again."

„I see, but still he wants me out of the way by threatening to turn the ranch into a crater."

„We need to find out where his base of operations is and eliminate him before he can launch that nuke."

„True, but for everyone's safety I need to leave. However I will try and find where Marc Antony's base of operations is."

Walker smiled and said, „I'll do the same, we need to preserve peace so we can live together. We need a brave warrior like you to fight for us."

„I would be honored to."

„Besides, I want you to tell Alicia that you love her and I'm going to make it happen."

I blushed and responded, „Thank you Walker, I will do that if it's the last thing I do. In the meantime, I need to find this abandoned cabin Jake knows of."

„You think he's still pissed?" wondered Walker.

„I guess so, better stay away from him so he doesn't have to get another ass-kicking."

„You got my frequency?"

„Da, I'll give you call when I've found the cabin."

„Well, safe journey Mikhail and may we meet again," Walker offered me his hand which I graciously took.

„Thank you Walker, we will meet again," I smiled.

I walked out of the pantry and I heard Madison's voice call out my name from behind, „Mikhail."

I turned around to see Madison run towards me, looking worried and distraught what's going on.

„Mikhail, where are you going?"

„Madison I don't know how to say this, but I need to leave."

„Why, who's banishing you?"

„No one, I just need to go."

„No Mikhail, please stay, we need you. You're the best fighter on the ranch."

Hearing Madison regard me as the best really made me feel flattered, but I was in the position where I had to tell Madison the truth.

„Madison, this might be hard to explain, but I wasn't the one who killed Jeremiah Otto. It was Marc Antony."

Madison looked shocked to hear the name of the man who put a bullet in Travis' spine and permanently paralyzed him. She shook her head trying to break out of the trance.

„Even if it was him who did it, we don't want you to leave."

„It's not because I'm scared of Marc Antony, or the fact I got into a fight with Jake and the rest of the militia. It's for your own safety and the safety of your family and the rest of the people now living on the ranch."

„Why? You can fight Marc Antony and his men, with your protection we are sure to win."

„It's not that Madison, he has a nuke deployed and threatened to launch it should I not vacate the ranch."

As soon as that eerie word reached Madison's ears, her jaw dropped open and her pupils shrank. It was like an old trauma came back to haunt her and it wasn't too hard to guess why. Unlike me, Madison has lived during the Cold War and has feared the probability of a nuclear apocalypse like most Americans did.

„Mikhail, I… I don't know what can be done."

„That's why I have to leave, I can't take chances and stay here. Marc Antony we should know is not the bluffing type."

„I always thought Marc Antony was going to win the school election and do great things, but that has all changed. Now he's become a bloodthirsty power hungry tyrant, who needs to be stopped."

„We will stop him, somehow and someway. For now, I need to be off the ranch before midday."

„I understand," said Madison, looking bemused and on the verge of tears.

I was tempted to stroke Madison's arm to comfort her, but I was worried about getting too emotionally attached to her because I might not be seeing her for a long time. Instead, I made a request, which I knew she would oblige to, „Please, look after yourself. Take care of your family and Travis.

Madison looked at me with awe and a sentimental smile. She impulsively wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. She cried on my shoulder with a muffled voice, „Take care Mikhail, I'll miss you."

Madison released me and our hands touched, which I let slide off as a last symbol of affection and dramatic effect for our sad departure. As I walked away and turned to look at Madison one last time, I saw Walker was behind her.

* * *

I continued my little exit out of the ranch and did catch a glimpse of the militiamen whom I engaged in combat with. I could see they were in bad condition and wouldn't be ready to be deployed for combat until they had time to heal. Seeing them in bandages and having small cuts and bruises did make me feel guilty, but I knew it was in self-defense, so I had to do what I had to do to keep myself alive. Alive? That word now had new meaning to me as I found myself outside the gates that closed behind me.

* * *

The thought of being alive was something I was going to do from now on. I was going to go on living despite not having Alicia and turning down my chance to be with Gretchen and have a family. This isn't over, I knew that I will be reunited with the Clarks, just not so soon. I just need time and deal with Marc Antony before Alicia and I can have a romance.

Every step I took on the road, I was becoming more and more optimistic that things will get better in time. Of course the negatives that should have demoralized and broken me were still there, like losing Jake as a friend and leaving the Clarks without professing my love to Alicia. I was able to overcome them with positive thoughts and not losing hope which I knew was what made me want to go on living.

I decided to sweeten the moment by listening to music on my walkman. My choice of music was to insert a Guns N' Roses cassette in and listen to an uplifting track while continuing my journey. After I put in the cassette and put in my earphones and was about to press play, I heard the sound of a car on the road approaching behind me. My first thought that this could be a hostile vehicle and placed my hand on the handle on my revolver in case the vehicle was foe.

When I turned round and saw the vehicle was a Land Rover, which looked like it came for the ranch relaxed me. I drew my hand away from my gun. I stood still and allowed the Land Rover to advance towards me.

The Land Rover halted and I got a pleasant surprise when I saw the driver's window was open. The driver was someone who I knew and greeted me with a smile and a generous offer, it was Madison.

„Need a lift?" asked Madison cordially.

This raised a radiant smile on my face and I felt a frisson in my body, I was too happy to even answer. I just skipped to the other side of the Land Rover and let myself in. I climbed into the passenger seat and to my expectation and just what I hoped, I saw Alicia and Nick, sitting in the back and smiling at me.

„So where to?" I asked cheerfully.

„We're going to find the cabin," responded Madison while keeping her eyes on the road.

I was tempted to ask Madison why she had a change of heart and decided to come back for me, but I was too euphoric to speak, I just wanted to relax and wallow in my own moment of happiness.

The wind that blew in from my window and the sun that shone on my face sweetened the moment, where all hope had been restored and it looked like I had officially become the newest addition to the Clark family. However this wouldn't be fully achieved, not until I speak to Alicia and hopefully she feels the same way about me.

I decided to make the moment even more sweet and embellish it with music. I still had my Guns N' Roses cassette in my walkman, which I was tempted to play, but I preferred to listen to it without headphones. Looking to my left, I surprisingly found the Land Rover had a tape deck, must be one of those old Land Rovers that wasn't scrapped when cassettes went out of fashion.

„You don't mind if I put on some music do you?" I asked Madison.

„Sure, go ahead," approved Madison.

Excitedly I inserted in the tape and hoped the tape deck still works, and to my further surprise, it did work. The track ‚Paradise City' played in perfect quality, just the song I needed to celebrate my blissful happiness with.

I got into the groove by listening to the guitar rhythm and the drums and when Axl Rose started singing, I started singing along. This probably did draw attention from Alicia and Nick in the back, whose reactions and expressions (probably amused) I was oblivious to because I was too immersed in the song. At least they tolerated my desire and compulsion to sing along to the song, so they were cool. The lyrics „Take me down to the paradise city. Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Take me home (oh, won't you, please, take me home?)" were lyrics I could relate to knowing I was going to where I knew paradise was, which would not have been complete without the Clarks. The rest of the lyrics pertain and narrate my journey so far, how I had to overcome various obstacles both physically and emotionally. With all that fighting I could now take a well deserved rest.

I was even head-banging and air-guitar playing, even mimicking the drum solo on the glove department door (especially near the end with the instrumental part). I don't think I ever head-banged so enthusiastically and energetically in my life, I was just so consumed by my own ecstatic and overwhelming state of euphoria, it was like I was happy again like I used to be.

The song ended and I did look at Madison whose eyes were still glued on the road. She raised a smile that stuck on her face. It was a smile on Madison's face I've never seen before. She looked just as happy as I am.

* * *

Late in the afternoon we arrived at the lone cabin in the middle of nowhere, knowing the Mexican border was close. It was a little shabby and in disorder, but with some housework the living conditions would be considered acceptable and livable.

One thing I remember when we entered the cabin was Nick finding a type writer and saying vividly, „A typewriter, if only I had an ink ribbon." I don't know why, but that always stuck with me. It was like a nice whiff of nostalgia.

We all pitched in together and clear the cabin of any unwanted junk and dusted every corner and crevice, which did cause Alicia to sneeze one Point, which I found cute.

Now that I was together with the Clarks you would have considered this the best opportunity and appropriate time to talk to Alicia, but unfortunately I couldn't get us somewhere private because the Clarks stayed together the whole night.

* * *

The next day was more productive and the Clarks went in their own private spaces to do their own chores or other occupations. I saw Alicia outside sitting with her back against a tree, just relaxing by reading a book. She was looking just as beautiful as ever with the light wind that gently blew her hair and the sunshine that shone through the leaves and branches, and bathed Alicia in a exotic crimson light. This was it, Alicia was alone and this was the best time to approach her and tell her I love her. In order to overcome my anxiety, I rehearsed what I would say to Alicia and hoped I wouldn't scare her off or act awkward. I wanted her to take me seriously and know why I came all this way, because I wanted to tell her how much she means to me and how much I love her. The fear of her rejecting me was both terrifying and impeding, it was scarier out of all the things I've been subjected to. I'm talking all the confrontations, audacious moves and other life endangering moments I took the risk, all to get closer to Alicia and this very moment. It was like getting ready for battle. Except this might be an engagement I might not win, not because of my attributes and skills, but mainly because this was fate taking its course and the will of another human being.

„Ladno, this is it, it's now or never," words I said to myself to give me the incentive I needed to go ahead and do what I've waited so long to do. I removed my eyes away from the window and got ready to move my feet and walk to the door, but something shocking caught my eye.

„Hola, you must be Mikhail," said a short middle-aged man with a Hispanic accent, pointing a pistol in my face. For some odd reason I knew I've seen him from somewhere. It took me a while to remember where I've seen him before. Then I thought back to when I left Los Angeles and saw the Madison, Travis and his son Chris board the ship. It was him, he was the one who stood at the swimming deck armed with a shotgun. His name I did not know, but I soon would when he smiled at me.

„Hola Mikhail, my name is Daniel, Daniel Salazar."

 **To be continued…**


	16. Chapter 16: Daniel Salazar

**Chapter 16: Daniel Salazar**

A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.

 **\- Bruce Lee**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 13.09.2010**

When people say it gets better, I used to think they were either superstitious or deluded, but up to this Point; I've realized how I misjudged their Theory. It does get better. As I left the ranch assuming I would once again live in loneliness and solitude, I never expected Madison to voluntarily leave the ranch with her children just so she could be with me. This was my salvation, my bliss and the beginning of a new life with a family I always wanted. This would be where I tell Alicia how I feel and she will hopefully requite my feelings, but that moment was interrupted by an unexpected visit.

* * *

„What were you doing there?" interrogated Daniel, looking aggressive and serious with his finger on the trigger.

„What do you mean?" I asked, hoping to get off on the right foot and placate Daniel.

„The dam, what were you doing at the dam in Tijuana? And don't lie to me."

The dam in Tijuana I recalled being there as it came back to me like déjà vu and gave me a sense of queasiness in my stomach, back when my father accused me wrongly of something and I knew I was going to get yelled at.

„I was there da, but I was only there to gather intelligence."

„Intelligence gathering? That's a good one, I'd say it was more like sabotage if you ask me."

„Sabotage? I have no idea what you are talking about."

„Maybe this will jog your memory," said Daniel, manifesting a big block of plastic explosive in his hand, which he threw over his shoulder.

This caused me to panic, which I knew would give Daniel the wrong idea who would accuse me of lying. „Daniel, I knew nothing about that, please you have to believe me."

„Believe you, why should I believe you? I've known Russians like you stationed in South America. Just kids your age who pose as tourists or activists, they look innocent and friendly on the outside, but on the inside they are snakes. They earn your trust and then stab you in the back when you least expect it, believe me I know, I was there."

„I think this was a long time ago, I wasn't even born yet."

„I know the Soviet Union collapsed years ago, but I know Russia have expressed interests in restoring their old power, they're just waiting for the right time."

„Just because I'm Russian doesn't make me a spy."

„A spy, nobody likes a spy. I will admit, I hated the Russians for trying to seize control and spread communism in my country. One thing I will admit however, when the CIA intervened, I quickly came to realize that there was no difference between the two. The United States and the Soviet Union, they were in it for their own benefit. Dragging other countries into their own pathetic rivalry for control and power. I was trained by the CIA, they did praise me and highly regarded me as one of their top assets. I should have felt like a king, but really I was a pawn, just to move forward and die for the king."

„This isn't a game of chess you know."

„I know it's not, it's just an example. What's wrong? I thought you Russians love chess."

„Never played it, I don't even know how."

„Well maybe I can teach you, believe me it's just as simple. The only way to win the game, is to know your Opponent. How they act, how they think and how they move."

You know, Daniel is right. What he theorized to me was kind of how I was taught to fight, not on a board and moving figurines, but face to face and enduring physical pain until the end and the victor is decided.

Looking into Daniel's cold menacing eyes, I knew he was not going to believe anything I said and would pull the trigger. I had to act now, first I needed to disarm him and take him down. Just focus and make the right move, my life depends on it. No man pointing a gun at me is going to stop me from seeing Alicia.

I broke the moment of silence by swiftly and boldly deflecting the pistol away from my head and prioritized getting the gun out of his hands. I took hold of his hand with the gun in it and ducked underneath his arm and disarm him by releasing the mag and ejecting the round.

Daniel counterattacked by kicking me in the knee, which caused me to drop onto my other knee and I felt a nasty backhand against the right side of my face. From that moment on after receiving two expeditious strikes from Daniel, I knew he was not some middle-aged fool, he really was former CIA.

I picked myself off the floor and saw Daniel was in his fighting stance, it looked like a karate or judo stance. He was eyeing me and ready for me to make my next move. My knee hurt as I got up, but was able to maneuver my joint and continue the fight.

I assumed to have the advantage in range, mainly because of my height and how short Daniel was. I tried to side kick him in the face, but he nimbly dodged and I felt his hand strike me hard in the ribs, luckily he didn't break anything. His strike to the ribs was also followed by an inner kick to my kidney, which hurt more and left me open for his next move. He got hold of my right arm and threw me over his shoulder with my back hitting the ground, knocking the air out of my lungs.

I felt dazed and light headed, but caught a glimpse of Daniel pulling a knife, probably intending to put the knife to my neck and demand answers, or even kill me. Before I gave him the chance to bend his knees I kicked out my legs aiming for his face, which knocked him backwards. I flipped myself back on my feet and saw Daniel getting back on his feet. Not wanting to give him a fighting Chance, I charged at him and tried to kick him in the face which he parried and a few other moves, which he also blocked with such incredible skill and reflex. He counterattacked with a surprise palm strike, which made me stagger back but remain on my feet.

Daniel then charged at me and implemented a number of hand strikes (with surprising strength) which I blocked and waited for an opening. I got Daniel in my grasp and tried to throw him to the ground which he counterattacked with his own throw, which was over the shoulder and would dominate my throw and I was the one who hit the ground.

On the ground, I saw Daniel draw his foot back to kick me in the face, which I grabbed and flipped him in the air. He somersaulted in the air and crashed hard on the floor. While he was down on the floor I attempted to stamp his head, but he evaded my lethal blow by rolling to the side. I then felt something heavy strike me in the knee, it almost dislocated my joint. Luckily my knee-joint was intact, but it still hurt and I was kneeling on the ground, completely open to Daniel's next attack. He was standing at a distance, in a karate stance. He smiled at me sanguinely, then dropped his smile and charged at me with an aggressive inaudible battlecry. I saw him charge towards me and unleash a push kick to my face. I felt his foot in my face, I could feel my nose squish into a pulp and the next thing I know I was flat on the ground, completely immobile.

I opened my eyes to see Daniel recovered the knife he dropped. Quickly I forced myself back onto my feet and I could feel dizzy and nauseating, I felt like I could throw up, but now wasn't the time.

Daniel tried to slash me with the knife, which I was able to dodge so many slash-attempts until he finally caught me on the side of my left arm. It was a sharp short sting, which felt cold when it was clear I was bleeding. I knew that my opponent was armed with a knife while I was fighting bare-handed, I had to think of the advantages I've got what he doesn't.

Daniel was armed with an instrument that would inflict severe damage to the human body, but was he able to use both hands freely and apply other hand to hand techniques? There was a way I could use the knife against him, something I was taught in military school. We were taught not to fear an enemy that has a weapon, in fact we were taught that an enemy who has a weapon doesn't always have the advantage and is limited to hand to hand techniques, which could make the opponent more vulnerable. Just wait for the right moment and you can use your opponent's weapon against him.

That moment came when Daniel drew the knife back with the blade over his right shoulder. I immediately grabbed the handle of the knife, kicked him in the groin and drove the blade into his lower belly. He collapsed to the floor looking down at the knife in his belly. He then looked up at me with a shocked expression, like he was scared he was going to die. I finished him off with a brutal head-butt to the head, which knocked him out cold.

Still feeling sore and bruised from fighting an opponent who demonstrated to be a real challenge for my hand to hand combat skills. Before it looked like I could subdue Daniel by tying him up before he regains consciousness, I was startled by another opponent.

„Don't move," threatened a young female voice. I sensed shivers rush down my spine and stayed still, but kept focused. „Face me," ordered the same voice as I did what I told and turned round. There in front of me was a young dark haired Hispanic lady with a shotgun. On closer inspection, I knew I've seen her before, it was the same lady I saw with Nick back at the military fuel depot.

„Ey I know you, you're the one that was with Nick, you're Luciana," I said, hoping to placate her.

Luciana frowned, she looked like she was surprised I remembered her name. „You know my name, how?"

„Nick gave me your name when you passed out."

„Okay."

„Sorry I haven't introduced myself yet, my name is Mikhail."

„Well Mikhail, it's nice to see you again, but that doesn't mean I'm happy to see you again."

„Look about back then, I don't know what was going on in my mind, but I can assure you I had good intentions."

„Si, I know how skillfully you handled yourself back there, but I'll never forget the way you pointed a gun at us."

„Luciana please. That wasn't me, it was someone."

„Don't make excuses, I know it was you, I remember your face."

Unexpectedly, another voice interrupted, it was Nick.

„Luciana," said Nick.

„Nick stay out of this, this man is dangerous," warned Luciana.

As Luciana was talking to Nick, I saw her eyes shift to the side where he was standing. This was the moment I could act and take out Luciana, maybe I should have resisted the urge and hopefully Nick's intervention could have defused the situation, but unfortunately my old habit got ahold of me.

I dropped to the floor and rolled towards Luciana, which prompted her to pull the trigger and let out a loud bang from her shotgun. My somersault helped me dodge the spray of pellets and I found myself at her feet. I grabbed the barrel of her shotgun and punched her directly in the jaw, which sent her flying backwards and she was out cold.

Nick charged at me with a face stricken with rage. His body collided with mine as I grabbed him, hurled him over my shoulder and held a knife to his throat. Nick's angry expression turned to fear with the blade near his throat, he was almost expecting me to slit his throat.

Seeing Nick waiting for me to finish him off abhorred me and realized I did it again, I threatened Nick's life twice and I knew Madison and Alicia would never forgive me and would even kill me in retaliation. I resisted the urge to kill Nick by throwing the knife aside and throwing him across the room. I then begun beating my fists on the floor and yelling, trying to vent out my self-hatred for myself and what I almost did.

„Mikhail," said Madison, walking into the room with Alicia. I then proceeded to bang my head against the floor to exorcise all the bad thoughts in my head and the consequences that would follow after almost killing Nick.

„MIKHAIL, STOP," yelled Madison, who rushed towards me and put her hands on my face. „It's okay Mikhail, please stop, it's okay."

I looked deep into Madison's eyes and found comfort and felt a mother's love. Those green eyes of hers which Alicia inherited from her alleviated my pain and stopped my outburst and act of self-harm. She made me feel I was in heaven, where I was free from all pain and sorrow. If this was how a mother expresses her love for her children, then I was lucky and happy to adopt Madison as my mother figure.

„Get out of the way mum," ordered Nick, who I saw was armed with a shotgun Luciana was armed with.

„Nick, put the gun down," ordered Madison.

„Mum please, he's dangerous, get out of my way and let me do this."

„I SAID PUT THE GUN DOWN," yelled Madison, getting on her feet. She took the gun off Nick and slapped him hard, the force of her slap knocked him onto the floor holding his face in shock.

Fearing that I would lose control and murder someone in a violent frenzy, I couldn't be around someone who tried to kill me, I had to get out of here fast. I jumped out of the window through the glass and running away as far as I can from the cabin.

* * *

I didn't run that far away from the cabin, I found solitude in a quiet space where I sat on a log and under a tree, seeing the cabin in the distance. The perfect place to calm down and have a cigarette to hold the tears in my eyes.

Meditating (pondering) and smoking in isolation was an old habit I usually possessed, which I knew wasn't a good thing. The mix of nicotine and constant pessimism wasn't doing me any good, but it was something to keep me calm or maybe even stoic. Pessimism was my own little defense against suffering so I could hurt myself before others could hurt me. On comprehending my attitude, I would conclude that even though it was keeping me mentally in check, it was also holding me back and slowly draining me of my former passions and aspirations. I wanted to be an actor, but what I wanted more was Alicia. Winning her heart became top priority and my commitment, it would come at the cost of giving up what I aspired to become.

„Hey Mikhail, are you okay?" asked a young female voice. I looked up and saw Alicia had come to console me and nurse my emotional wounds.

„Da I… I needed to get away," I responded.

„You're hurt," notified Alicia looking at my arms. She was right, my arms were covered in small cuts. The movies got it wrong every time the hero smashes through the window unscathed.

„I know, it was stupid of me to do such a thing."

Alicia sat down next to me and reasoned, „Look, I know it was wrong of what my brother tried to do to you and I am upset with him about that. Believe me, he is a nice guy at heart if you give him a chance."

„I want to, I really do. It was just his girlfriend tried to kill me and I had no choice to hit her and your brother got angry with me."

I was starting to get emotional and was about to cry, but I didn't want to do it in front of Alicia. My cigarette was nearly finished, I don't think I smoked a cigarette so fast by taking a drag after every 6 to 10 seconds. I chucked my cigarette away, blew the smoke out of my lungs and desperately dug into the packet to have another one.

„Don't," admonished Alicia, yanking the cigarette out of my mouth, „They are bad for you."

Alicia taking the cigarette off me and warning me about the dangers of smoking, really made me think of her as an angel who was here to save me.

„I'm sorry Alicia," I apologized, feeling my eyes and nasal cavity swell with tears blotting my eyes.

„Mikhail don't fight it, let it out. It's okay to express your emotions. Believe me I know, I've done it when I lost someone and I felt better afterwards. Just do it if you have to, please Mikhail don't hold it in, I'm here for you," consoled Alicia, stroking me arm and sounding emotional too.

From that moment on I knew Alicia was right, crying doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong. No more bottling it up and keeping it inside, it is a poison I have to expel out of my system if I ever want to become stronger. Do what what you have to do, be true to your feelings and owe up to them. Just do it, Alicia is there for you, she'll be there to listen and abate your sorrow. Just do it, for Alicia.

I let the tears flow out of my eyes and I felt them run down my cheeks, don't recall ever shedding this much tears, not even in front of Travis. I sobbed and let Alicia take me in her arms, allowing me to cry on her shoulder.

„It's okay Mikhail, I'm here," consoled Alicia.

Alicia gently released me from her arms, pulled out a tissue and wiped my tears dry. When she finished drying my face, she bestowed a smile and I got the feeling of closure and peace. Crying did make me feel better, it was like being born again and opening up to a new world with a new perspective on life. All that time I've been medicating my pain with cigarettes, but crying provided a more effective remedy for overcoming grief and other emotional pain.

I hesitated about telling Alicia the truth about my scar, but I knew that it had to be said and revealed. I was in the most appropriate moment, a moment of counseling where I knew it would be the best approach to tell Alicia. You might hurt her, but you've got to be honest. No, Alicia was partly the reason why I did it, that's going to make her feel responsible and ashamed of me. Just tell her half a truth, that's something at least.

„Look Alicia, I'm going to have to be honest with you. I didn't get the scar as the result of a car crash. I… I tried to kill myself," I confessed.

Alicia's face expressed shock and she shuddered with fear. „How… uh… why, why would you do such a thing?"

„I was very unhappy and didn't see any point in continuing life."

„Mikhail that's stupid, you had a lot to live for. You won the talent show, I thought you'd be happy and feel good about yourself."

„Well my grandma died shortly after, she died from a heart attack, which I feel responsible for causing."

„Why do you feel responsible for it?"

„She caught me smoking and she was appalled by that discovery. Ever since then, I felt rotten for choosing to smoke, but I can't stop myself. I want to give up smoking, I really do, but I just can't."

„Mikhail, I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. Smoking is one of the hardest things to give up doing, and you shouldn't feel it's your fault. The shocking discovery was too much for her and her body could not handle it. It's sad it happened, but you can't keep blaming yourself, you got to understand the logic and look to other reasons why it happened."

I breathed out, and understood Alicia's point of view. „You're right Alicia, I gave myself this scar and I ruined my face."

Alicia slapped her hand on my leg and debunked, „Oh you haven't ruined your face, it looks fine."

Hearing Alicia say such sweet inspiriting words made me smile. „Thank you Alicia, I never thought you'd say that."

There was a moment's silence until I heard Alicia say, „Can I touch it?"

This made me hesitate as to why she would want to touch it, but I gave into her request and allowed her to touch it."

„Sure."

I remained motionless and let Alicia's hand hover slowly to touch my scar. I knew Alicia's hand was touching my face, but I could feel nothing. This touch from Alicia I wanted to feel and bask in I wasn't basking in. Just the sound of her finger-digits brushing against my marred and damaged skin.

„It's so smooth, but sort of rigid," reacted Alicia.

„I can't feel it," I notified Alicia.

Alicia removed her hand and asked, „But can you feel this though?"

I then felt something soft and pliable press against my other cheek. It took me mere seconds to realize they were Alicia's lips. Alicia had kissed me on the cheek and it felt good. No it didn't feel good, it was more than good, it was stimulating. No, it was exhilarating and just what I needed to feel alive again and mend my shattered heart. I was smiling and I couldn't stop smiling, Alicia's perfect lips did their magic.

„Da, I can feel it," I astonished, still overcome with happiness and intoxication.

Alicia giggled and remarked, „I knew you could."

Alicia slipped her hand into mine and we looked each other in the eyes with a smile, I felt content and happy being alone with Alicia.

„MIKHAIL," called out Madison, who I saw in the distance running towards me. „Mikhail, thank god you're okay. Come, let's get you some medical treatment," insisted Madison, leading Alicia and I back inside.

* * *

Once we were back inside, I would see Daniel had regained consciousness and was holding an icepack on his face. Luciana had also regained consciousness and had an improvised head brace, which was a strip of white cloth wrapped in a knot, resting on her head and holding her jaw together. I could see Luciana look at me with sneering eyes, not ready to get proper acquainted with me and hopefully we can start to become friends.

Madison was treating the wounds that Daniel and I inflicted myself with. My knuckles were purple, which was a result of me ramming them into the floor repeatedly, lucky I didn't break my hands. My forehead was okay, no fractures, but I did have a light red bruise. My arms were covered in scratches from throwing myself through the glass window, luckily the glass didn't go in deep and the cuts weren't deep enough to leave scars. Other than that, I was okay and fit for combat.

After I was treated, I agreed to participate in a meeting which would include Daniel and Luciana, the two who tried to kill me. Madison assured me she knows Daniel and she told me he can be a nice man and she'll make sure he doesn't try to kill me. I sat with a nice hot brewed black tea, but decided to not have a cigarette for Alicia's sake. Because of Alicia, I decided to cut back on cigarettes. I have to admit, having a black tea without a cigarette actually tasted better, I could really taste the tea and not the nicotine that went down with it.

Daniel approached me, still looking aggressive and desperate for answers he was going to stop at nothing to receive.

„So Mikhail, now we had a good fight and no one got killed, I suppose we can now discuss this like gentlemen," asserted Daniel.

„I agree, I know what you are thinking, but you're inaccurate," I claimed.

„Were you at the dam?"

„I was, but I wasn't the one who planted those explosives, it was probably someone else."

„If you didn't plant the explosives, then what were you doing there?"

„I was only there to plant beacons and take pictures, I wasn't there to sabotage the dam."

„Okay and who gave you the order to carry out the mission?"

„I don't know the name, but I think it was Russia."

„Strange, now what business would Russia want in Mexico. You don't think your country are plotting something, even though it's likely the walker outbreak hit the country too."

„Or maybe this epidemic has not reached Russia."

„Maybe your people want something to do with the dam, maybe to sabotage it?"

„I doubt it, maybe capture it. What purpose would destroying it do?"

„Well I have seen the film Dam Busters and have read the true story behind it, so I know these things."

I was amused to know Daniel has seen the film too and compares the dam to the one from the film. Maybe Daniel and I have more in common. Madison suddenly stepped in and intervened in the conversation.

„What about the military fuel depot in California near the Mexican border? What would Russia want with fuel depot?"

I hesitated and cogitated some answers and I assumed, „They probably wanted to know the experiments that were being conducted in there. I stole Troy's notebook and took some photos, maybe that's what Russia needed, probably trying to create a vaccine or something."

„And they need a brainwashed agent to go in and do their dirty work?" wondered Madison.

„I think so, that's what those tapes were. Da those tapes, that's what has been causing those blackouts. Every time I listen to those tapes, I'm briefed about the mission and then I'm to start a recording before I proceed the mission."

„Tapes, what are you talking about?" baffled Madison.

„With each restock of supplies I receive now and then, I get a new tape. The problem is I don't know when I get re-supplied or where I can receive them," I clarified.

All of a sudden my GPS made a sequence of beeps and a blinking red dot appeared on the screen. The red dot marked a specific location on the map, which was right outside the cabin. There was the sound of a plane swooshing outside, which got the attention of everyone in the room. This did startle everyone including me, fearing it was an air-raid and bombs would be dropping from the sky and onto the cabin.

Daniel being apprehensive grabbed his gun and so did Luciana, probably expecting para-troopers. I was expecting a scene like Red Dawn when the Russians land outside the school and start shooting everyone, but no, everything went silent and a red dot that was no longer blinking was on my GPS. There was a subtitle at the bottom of the screen reading ‚Воздушные поставки'.

„Hold your fire, it's not an enemy attack. I'm getting some supplies dropped from the sky," I heeded, walking outside with my eyes on the GPS.

* * *

Once I was outside, I saw two white parachutes attached to crates sink to the ground and land softly. I raised my hand and warned the others behind me, „Wait, allow me. No one else apart from me can open the crates."

„I hope you know what you're doing Mikhail and there's an explanation to all this," said Madison, sounding anxious.

„Don't worry, I've seen this before. I know it's nothing to worry about," I assure, approaching near the crates.

The crates had a handprint, just like the last one. I placed my hand on the handprint and the crate unlocked. I heaved the lid and was beheld to a treasure chest of supplies that would further my journey. The first thing that caught my attention was a cassette tape, obviously containing a recording of my next mission. The sight twisted my stomach and I knew listening to it would cause another blackout. I placed it in my pocket and continued to search the crate and its contents.

One of the things I would pull out would be food rations, military food rations, which were in a rectangle box, wrapped in plastic and inscribed in Russian text. I handed them to Madison, Nick and Alicia, so they could help carry them into the cabin.

„What are these?" asked Nick.

„Military food rations, they were designed to feed the average trooper and give him the necessary nutrients," I clarified.

„Going to need you to read the text for us, I don't speak Russian," said Nick.

„That I will do, don't worry," I said, while fetching more rations out of the crate.

„Maybe I'll learn some Russian," said Nick.

„Well I speak your language, so I would appreciate it if you learned mine," I responded, stacking more rations into Nick's arms.

I dug into the crate and pulled out a long box of cigarettes. I looked back at Alicia and I felt embarrassed and ashamed if I gave her the idea I was going to be smoking heavily as usual. I laid the box beside me and pulled out a large bottle of vodka, which made Alicia smile, who found it amusing that I would receive vodka at a time like this. Okay now I was getting sick of the stereotype, does the person who send me these supplies fail to understand that I'm not really into vodka?

The one thing I was pleased to find in the crate was a resupply of black tea, which was in a luxurious artistic box in cellophane, something you'd find in a Russian supermarket. Now that's a real drink and not that acidic junk that so many Russians my age like to empty down their throats. Another thing I was happy to find was my favorite snack to have with tea.

„What are those Mikhail?" asked Alicia.

„Sushki," I responded, holding the packet of little glazed bagels.

„Sooch-kee, what are they?" perplexed Alicia.

„Well they are little bagels, but you wont know until you've tried some," I smiled, handing Alicia the packet.

I moved to the other crate and opened it via the handprint and was greeted with something different, more ravishing, well to a soldier's eyes you could say. Inside the crate were two new armaments to add to my arsenal.

One was a Dragunov SVD-63 sniper rifle with a PSO-1 4x24 scope, a thumbhole stock and a cheek rest. The scope also had a night-vision function, the barrel had a flash suppressor (to limit detection after each shot) and it came with a detachable tripod.

The other was RMB-93 12-gauge shotgun with a pistol grip, and ridges on the fore-end and gas ventilation near the barrel that reduces the amount of recoil when firing.

„Those are some nice new toys you got Mikhail, better take care of them," quipped Daniel, sounding impressed with what I was treated to.

„Guns aren't toys, they are means of defense, but you are right; these are nice. So nice, well customized and will come in handy," I exclaimed, examining each of the guns unable to deny how good they felt to hold. „Here you go Daniel, why don't you have a hold," I offered as I handed Daniel the two weapons. I could see the look on his face, like a kid who just opened up his birthday presents and was filled with joy and satisfaction.

Emptying the crates of their contents, I closed the lids and pulled a cord at the side, which automatically inflated a balloon and carried them up into the air. Everyone including me watched the crates climb higher into the sky and disappear into the clouds.

* * *

Once everyone was back inside and I was sorting my recently obtained items and cleaning my weapons. I was disturbed by a private conversation between Madison and Daniel in the next room, I halted my activity and decided to eavesdrop.

„This can't be, you said she was with you and she abandoned you?" asked Daniel.

„Daniel I'm sorry, we just don't know where she went," apologized Madison.

„So she got up and snook away?"

„Yeah, I guess so."

„I know my little girl, my dear Ofelia would never do anything so reckless and cold-hearted."

The name ‚Ofelia' struck the image of the same woman I knew by that name. Could it be, is this the same Ofelia I know? I had to ask Daniel, guess he would be pleased to know that I know his daughter.

„Ofelia, did you say Ofelia?" I asked Daniel, as he turned to look at me.

„I did yes," replied Daniel.

„Does she have dark hair and tanned skin?"

„Yes."

„Slim athletic girl in her early 20's?"

„That's her that's Ofelia," Daniel's eyes lit up, the cold sterile look in his eyes was gone and it looked like he was feeling hope again. First time I've ever seen him happy. Just tell him, Ofelia is your friend, give this man who tried to kill you his daughter.

„I know her, I know where she is."

 **To be continued…**


	17. Chapter 17: Madison Clark

**Chapter 17: Madison Clark**

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and be understood.

 **\- Lucius Annaeus Seneca**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 14.09.2010**

Being one of the people in the world who didn't know what it's like to be raised by a mother sure felt alone, but I would know that I wasn't the only one. I had my father and grandma, they were the only family I had. Knowing other kids especially when I got acquainted with Matt, did I learn what it was like to have parents who actually loved and took time for you.

Madison whom I've developed so much love and affection for, I would look up to as a mother, she always did care for me even back when I went to her house and asked for Alicia. Now Madison has made the decision to bring herself and her family to me, I officially felt like I was part of the family and I hunched they wanted me to become part of the family.

One thing I've heard about mothers was how they offered guidance and support to their children, which was something Madison did for her children as well as the other students at the high school where she was the school counselor. If I was to become an official member of the Clark family, I would have to marry Alicia, but I would also have to open up to Madison and let her know the person who loves her daughter. She may not know, but she will do and when she does, I hope she'll trust me with her.

* * *

„You know Ofelia, how... I mean, where is she?" questioned Daniel, taking slow steps towards me.

„She's at the ranch not far from here, she's being looked after by a Native American tribe," I answered.

„Where is this ranch, could you take me there?" requested Daniel.

„I would love to, but unfortunately I can't go there."

„Why not?"

„There's this guy you see, he threatened to launch a nuclear missile into the ranch should I ever re-enter the ranch. I can't risk it."

„This guy, who is he?"

I hesitated about revealing Daniel the identity of Marc Antony, but maybe it was the only thing that was going to mitigate Daniel and help him understand how delicate the situation is.

„His name is Marc Antony."

Daniel suddenly went pale, it was obvious that name meant something to him and he confirmed it when he moved his lips.

„Marc Antony, African American type who's around your age?"

„Da that's him, why you know him?"

„Know him, he's the one who told me about your spy mission at the dam. He showed me the C4 charges that were placed in the dam and told me it was you who put them there."

The shocking discovery that I was being framed by Marc Antony fueled my anger for him. Not only did he manipulate me with a nuke, but also set someone up to kill me.

„Well it looks like he used us as pawns, but now it's time to show him we will not be played like this and that we can bring him down."

„You're right, Marc Antony will pay for this, but I want to get back my daughter."

„I understand, and I would gladly help you do that. First we need to plan how we're going to proceed."

Daniel remained silent until he nodded and asked, „Okay what do you suggest?"

I manifested Daniel the tape and suggested, „I got this tape which hints that what's written on the label has something to do with the ranch. Maybe my next mission involves the ranch somehow."

„Okay, so let's listen to it," proposed Madison.

„Well the problem is the tape is in Russian, and I fear listening to the tape causes the blackouts, and I do not want a blackout if I hope to rescue Ofelia," I worried.

„I understand Mikhail, but unfortunately you're the only one here who speaks Russian."

„I speak Russian," interrupted Daniel, which caught Madison's and my attention, „Well school-boy Russian."

„Really, how?" I bewildered, interested to know why this middle age Hispanic man speaks my language.

„While I was in the CIA, I was deployed in Afghanistan to go undercover and infiltrate the Pro-Soviet Afghan government and deliver stinger missiles to the Mujahideen."

Daniel's backstory was getting interesting by the minute, knowing he was once a CIA operative in Afghanistan, fighting against my people. I heard stories about the Soviet-Afghan war, it was basically Russia's own Vietnam war. Both America and Russia had to learn the hard way how dangerous freedom fighters can be.

„Great, looks like I'm going to be friends with a man who fought against my country," I remarked.

„It was nothing personal really, I only did my job. The CIA offered my late wife and I citizenship in the States should we cooperate, so I did."

This reminded me how I was pressured to carry out my duty for Mother Russia, it was nothing personal, it was just coercion. If ignoring this mission my country wanted me to carry out, I was going to have to do it or face the consequences which could be dire.

„Okay, let's get started with the translating, you want some tea Daniel?"

* * *

Daniel and I sat in the same room where I allowed Daniel to listen to the tape on my walkman. He was to translate as best he could as his knowledge of my language was limited. I was to write down the translation and hopefully have an ample and effective understanding of what my mission was, and what the prime objectives were. Sometimes Daniel needed my help to translate certain words which I did and hoped he pronounced it right so I got the right translation.

After Daniel had finished listening to the tape and I had the translation on paper, Daniel, Madison and I read it together. My mission was what I thought it was, I was to infiltrate the ranch I swore never to re-enter, otherwise Marc Antony would nuke everything and everyone in the community. The tape revealed that there was human testing going on inside the ranch, which I found very disturbing and would give me sleepless nights. With the camera I was given along with the tape, I was to take pictures of the test subjects and the equipment used to conduct such experimentation. The other objective that needed to be met was new to me, I was to bring in one of the test subjects in alive. I was supplied with a small strange little object, which resembled a small backpack or life-preserver. It was to my realization a helium balloon which could be activated by pulling the cord, like the one on the crates. The tape said nothing about Marc Antony, maybe he was too cunning and avoided detection from my superiors. If I do see Marc Antony during the mission and no blackout happens, I will take him out and put and end to our rivalry. Eliminating Marc Antony may not be my objective, but I was going to make it my objective. With Marc Antony's out of the way, Alicia and I can finally get together and I can live a new life with the Clarks.

Daniel agreed to wait until the next morning to proceed with the mission, which I would carry out and he would assist. One thing that must be confirmed, Marc Antony has to be stationed in the ranch, just hope he's not suicidal enough to nuke himself. Even if it does mean taking me with him.

* * *

The remainder of the day I would spend with Madison, mainly because I promised Alicia I would allow her mother to give me counseling. Madison I knew as the school's counselor, who many students looked up to and would seek her guidance. Many students apart from me who would rather mope in isolation and have a smoke just to numb the pain. If I was going to be open with anyone, it was going to be Madison, someone who I should have given a chance to help me out of my moment of crisis. She was someone I adopted as my surrogate mother and I was going to be honest and brave. If I need a shoulder to cry on, I knew she was going to offer hers.

Madison and I were in a private room where we both sat on a coach facing each other, where I was ready to divulge to her my past, every vivd poignant detail of it. No matter how painful it was to reveal such memories that torment me and have done nothing but fill my body with a venom coursing through my body.

„So Mikhail, tell me about your past. Let's start with your childhood in Russia," commenced Madison in a calm manner.

„Where do I begin, well I didn't spend my childhood in a city like Moscow or Saint Petersburg, but the closest city I lived next to was Smolensk," I answered.

„Where did you live in Russia?"

„You wouldn't know it, it's a small community next to the Belarusian border, called Krasny. There weren't many houses, it was more like a farming or fishing community almost. There were some shops and some monuments, even Museums, but overall not a very exciting place to live. I didn't have TV in the house, if I wanted fun, I would go outside and play. We lived near the river where I would go fishing or just to play alone and entertain myself."

„Did you not have any friends?"

I ruminated back to my earliest memories when I could walk, talk and communicate. Because the community was so small, it would be the ideal place to make friends and become a familiar face.

„Well there were barbecues and carnivals in the community, which I would attend, my grandma was the one who organized most of the events. There were kids who I mixed in with, but none of them really kept in touch. They didn't exclude me or anything, I just didn't feel connected to them and they didn't feel connected to me, just the way it goes sometimes."

„Any friends at school?"

„Unfortunately not, school was always a jungle, you had to be strong to survive."

„Was that where you learnt how to fight, in school or military school I presume?"

„Nyet that was a different school, where I went to Belarus to commence military training. Even then I can't remember, they must have given me some sort of hypnotherapy to block out my memories. Sometimes I have nightmares about those events, which was how I recover my memory in military school little by little."

Madison paused, nodded and guessed, „Interesting, that's where you were brainwashed and activated at specific times to carry out your duty as some… what is it called… sleeper agent?"

„Da, I think that was it. Unfortunately I can't disclose all the details, but I can tell you how strict, rigorous and torturous the training was."

„If you think it will help, please don't be afraid to tell me."

„To make a long story short, we were pushed and hollered at and by the time today's training was over, we were enervated and completely stiff. Order was strict, so you weren't allowed to mess around and tell jokes, otherwise we could risk confinement. Sometimes we were dragged in the middle of the night just to do a training session, we had to get used to important drills and not get too comfortable with routine. We had to maintain discipline and be ready for any conflict or new unexpected challenges. We were trained not to fear death, we were trained to accept fate, we were trained to do the impossible."

„But why did you come to America if you were trained to fight for your country? I thought you were born after the Soviet Union collapsed, you can't have been a defect, right?" perplexed Madison, ready to believe how a well trained soldier like me would be granted permission to immigrate.

„I'm not sure the reason for it, I was just told by my father that we were moving to America and that was that. I didn't have any objections, I just went along and moved. I was eight years old at the time and we packed our things, went to Moscow, got on a plane and flew to LA. My grandma was half willing to come along, which she did after my father talked her into it. It didn't take her long to integrate and become an activist in the Russian community. She would become leader of the BSS, Vse Slavyanskoye Soobshchestvo, all Slavs community."

„Slavs?" questioned Madison, unfamiliar what that word meant.

„Indo-European people, they speak languages that are closely related to Russian. My grandma always believed that Slavs should look out for each other and be a family, and she did all she could to make that vision become a reality."

„Your grandma sounds like a wonderful person, it's too bad I never got to meet her."

„Da, she was there for the talent show. She was so proud when I won."

„I remember your dance, you really were a sensation on stage."

Reflecting back on my performance did make me smile and remind me how special I was and what a fool I was to attempt suicide subsequently.

„Did you have any friends when you came to the States?" asked Madison.

„Not straight away nyet, I kept myself to myself and then I found someone who I would become my first and only friend."

„What was his name?"

Knowing that I swore I would tell Madison the truth, my heart was beating fast and my mouth was dry as I begun to reveal his name, „Do you know someone by the name of Matt Sale?"

Madison's face jolted into shock and responded, „I do yeah, what about him?"

„He was my friend, nyet my best friend," still regarding Matt as my best friend awoke a montage of many happy memories I had of Matt, how we met and how we became best friends.

„How did you two meet?" asked Madison.

Before I would divulge my story, I begun to imagine a bright sunny day in suburban LA where I would see an eight year old Matt. „Well it begun when I was out in the playground reading a book under a tree, when I noticed a kid the same age as me being picked on by a group of boys. Matt was drawing on the floor with chalk and one of the kids defaced his drawing and the other threw his bucket of chalk on the grass. Eventually the group of boys left him and he tried to recover his chalk scattered in the grass. Feeling sorry for him, I helped him recover the last chalk he was missing. He was grateful for my assistance, he even asked me to assist him in redrawing his art piece, which I did. After we were done, he invited me back to his house where his mum would invite me for dinner."

Madison smiled, looking very touched by a heartwarming story, „That's so sweet, Matt must have been the first friend you've had."

„Da, Matt and I did everything together and I mean everything together. We went to school together, we celebrated birthdays together and we even celebrated Christmas together. Of course there were many things we did together, which could compile into a list, but we did a lot you could say… oh and I also taught him Russian and he spoke very good Russian."

Madison's face turned to despair as she announced, „Mikhail I don't know how I should say this, but Matt is dead."

Unable to act like anyone would knowing that their friend died, I pretended to not know and asked emotionally, „What how?"

„He was bitten, Alicia, Travis and I were the last ones to see him alive."

„Ponimat, that's terrible. I regret I ignored his messages and didn't give him a chance to reconcile."

„Reconcile, what happened? I thought Matt was your friend."

„Da he was, but unfortunately we had a falling out."

„Why what happened?"

I paused, cleared my throat and begun to piece the story together which was going to reopen a series of old wounds.

„It all begun in high school, it was Matt's and my first day. We had high expectations to become popular, unaware that high school is nothing portrayed like we watched on TV like Saved by the Bell. We came across a popular group, which happened to be Marc Antony's group. Matt and I made attempts to fit in and we did, well Matt at least. I was ignored on the other hand and for the first time, I felt let down by Matt who didn't try to convince Marc Antony to include me."

„Was that really the only falling out? Surely there has to more to it than that."

„There was, Matt did subsequently try to help me fit in, but he insisted I changed my ways. With ways I mean he suggested I changed my way of thinking, my interests and even my vocabulary. This was something I tried to do, until I begun to resist after Matt's constant nagging. No longer did I feel accepted for who I was and no longer was Matt the same friend who I adored and looked up to as a brother."

„Mikhail, I'm sorry to hear that. Why didn't you tell him how you feel and that his attitude is hurting you?"

„He wouldn't listen, he kept on being persistent until it got to the point we were arguing. It got so bad that I lost my temper and caused a scene in a cafe. I smashed a glass into his and they smashed into little crystal like fragments. Looking at Matt's shocked and disgusted look, I knew that our friendship was over, I just left the cafe without saying another word."

„I understand that you were angry and that you overreacted, but you still could have approached Matt after you gave him space."

Hearing Madison's advice what I could have done, was something I thought about doing after realizing the error of my ways. However I came to found out that Matt had begun dating Alicia, and that deterred me from wanting to try and reconcile with him. I just skipped the issue with Alicia and simply replied, „Well he did make an attempt to approach me and make amends, but that was a big mistake. Because I would endure the worst betrayal anyone could ever impose on me. Matt would ask me if I could meet him somewhere private, which I agreed to do. We met at the river near the tunnel where Matt would greet me like a friend, and I did my best to be polite and treat him like an old friend, despite I didn't feel ready to completely trust him. We walked under the tunnel where we talked like it was old times, he asked me questions how I've been and I reluctantly answered him. Once we reached the other side of the tunnel, I was ambushed by Marc Antony and his posse. They were armed and they ganged up on me, leaving Matt to stand and watch. I don't remember but I…"

I started to get emotionally, feeling a gaping hole in my chest, remembering detail by detail how much that traumatizing moment haunted me.

„Mikhail please be strong, what is it you remember?"

Feeling a little stronger by having Madison as comfort and support, I continued, „I was struck from behind and fell to the ground. The next thing I know is Marc Antony pulled a gun on me and smiled. He said something sinister I can't remember and it looked like he would pull the trigger. Instead he pistol whipped me in the mouth, which caused me to bleed. As I remained on the floor checking to see my teeth were intact, tasting blood in my mouth and seeing blood on my hand. Something happened, my vision turned red, I felt the energy return to my body and the compulsion to wipe out the threat. The next thing I know, I was fighting off Marc Antony's posse one by one, inflicting massive crippling injuries. I remember confronting Marc Antony as the last and was able to disarm him and ground him. Before I could have potentially killed him, I took control of my own emotions and impulses and spared him. I walked up to a terrified Matt, cowering in the corner begging me not to hurt him, which I resisted the urge to. I just walked away making a vow to never trust Matt again for his unforgivable betrayal that nearly cost me my life."

„Mikhail that's terrible, I'm sorry it happened to you," sympathized Madison.

„That's not all, to make matters worse, I was asked to attend the police precinct and give a statement. Marc Antony and his posse, maybe even Matt reported me for assault, that's when I knew my future was finished. My grandma was dead, I had no friends and I was going to go to jail."

I could feel the tears coming as I blubbered the last words in my sentence. Madison grabbed my hand for comfort and consoled, „Mikhail it's okay, I understand. I understand the pain you went through. You should have come to me, I could have helped you."

„Da, you are right I guess I could have…" my words were curtailed when I noticed something about touching Madison's hand. The feel of her skin and the slight pressure she applied, I stroked it with my thumb and it immediately occurred to me. This was a hand I touched before. „That hand, I felt that hand back when I was lying in bed and coming out of a coma. The lips that kissed me on the forehead, you don't think it was…" I looked at Madison who was smiling, which gave me the hint who it was who kissed me on the head. „It was you, you were the one who kissed me."

Madison nodded and confirmed, „Yeah that was me, why, did you think it was Alicia who did it?"

„Da I mean nyet I meant nyet," I claimed, feeling embarrassed I said ‚yes' in front of Madison who was already getting suspicious.

„Mikhail, I know you long enough to know that ‚da' means ‚yes' and ‚nyet' means ‚no', I know you said ‚yes' when I asked you whether you thought it was Alicia that kissed you."

„I know it's just I… I…" I tried to take back my response when Madison asked the question.

Madison looked at me with a more suspicious frown and pressed, „Mikhail I need you to tell me something. I want you to be honest about it. Do you love my daughter?"

Shivers went down my spine and I was cold all over, I was stuck in a moment where I had to confess the truth to Madison. I could not deny it, she knows I love Alicia and it's true. Just tell her, she was going to find out anyway and now she has, she deserves to know. I took a deep breath and confessed, „Da, I do. I love Alicia, I always have done, ever since I saw her."

Madison erased the suspicious frown off her face and then smiled slyly, „I knew you love Alicia, I heard you whisper her name when you were in a coma. I even saw you look at her and I knew there was something about that look, it was obvious you have eyes for my little girl."

Confessing to Madison that I love Alicia really brought me comfort and closure, it was something I had to let out. Madison seemed okay with me loving her daughter and she showed no signs of disapproval.

„Da it's true, I have been staring at her a lot even though it's not appropriate. I might as well tell you that Alicia was the reason I followed you."

„You came all the way just to see us?"

„Da, I did," I shoved my hand down into my pocket and fetched out the photo of Alicia, which I handed to Madison, „I have this."

Madison took one hard look at the photo and was surprised to know I was carrying a picture of her daughter the whole time. „Mikhail, how did you get this?"

„I found it on the bedside table when I woke up in hospital out of my coma. If you look at the back, you'll find something else."

Madison turned the photo to look at the back and read the text out aloud, „Save her, I wonder who wrote on the back of this photo and placed it by your bed?"

„Beats me, I wish I knew. Who else knows Alicia and also knows me that I'm the right man for the job?"

„I don't think we're going to find out so soon, but I would like to know how you ended up in hospital?"

„I think I told you, well I think I did."

„Yeah you did, car crash wasn't it?"

„Car crash, da, that's what I said." I took a deep breath and breathes, ready to tell Madison the truth, "Listen, when I said it was a car crash, that wasn't the truth."

„No," stunned Madison, „It wasn't a car accident?"

„Well I was in a car when it happened, but it was no accident." Madison's face turned white and she shuddered, it was the same expression and feeling I experienced when I would receive devastating news. „The truth is, I tried to…" I looked at Madison and revealed, „I tried to kill myself."

Madison's mouth dropped open and she took a slow deep breath. She didn't say anything, she just stared into my eyes and I could see that she was almost about to cry. Before I could comfort her and ease her pain, she grabbed my cigarettes and lighter I left lying beside me. She got up and marched to the next room, stood by a window, lit a cigarette and just looked out the window. Feeling guilty about how I made Madison feel, I followed her behind and approached her with caution.

„Madison I'm sorry, I really am. Please don't be upset, I'm okay, I'm alive. I'm happy to be alive, you, Alicia and Nick are the reasons why I want to live. Madison please, I really meant what I said, you and your family are really the best thing that's ever come into my life."

While I tried to convince Madison to look at me, I could hear her sniveling and seeing her taking drags after every five seconds. Her hand was shaking and so were he knees. She continued to weep silently and stare out the window and filling her lungs with nicotine to numb her pain.

„Madison please look at me," I begged and in response she turned to face me with a face full of tears and eyes bright red. She dropped her cigarette onto the floor and looked at me with a disdainful look.

She charged at me. I thought she was going to attack me, but instead she threw herself into me, wrapped her arms around me tightly and sobbed, „Mikhail don't ever do that again, don't ever try to kill yourself again."

Madison and I sunk to the floor where I held her and placed one hand on the back of her head to stop her falling to the floor. „I promise Madison, I'll never attempt suicide again, I promise." A tear leaked out of my eye after the promise had been made. I don't think I've ever seen Madison cry before, her crying made me cry. We both cried together, which made our mutual expression of emotions the most beautiful thing we could give one another. With Madison in my arms and me in her arms, I've never felt so connected to her like I did with any other woman. She was to become my mother in law after I will one day marry Alicia and our family bond will be consolidated.

After Madison stopped crying, I looked at her in the face dry of tears and suggested, „I think we should go back and sit on the couch."

„That's a good idea," agreed Madison.

Madison and I got on our feet and proceeded to walk back into the room and sit on the coach. I caught a glimpse of the unfinished cigarette Madison discarded on the floor continuing to burn. Rather than pick in up and take a drag, I stamped it out.

* * *

Madison and I were back on the couch, but this time we were sitting more closely together. She requested me to hold her while she continued her counseling session with me, which I was more than happy to oblige.

„Mikhail, do you mind if I tell you something?" asked Madison softly.

„Sure Madison, what is it?" I permitted, still having my arm around Madison and her head on my chest.

„The reason I acted the way I did when I took one of your cigarettes and went to sulk. It may sound weird to say this, but you kind of remind me of my late husband, Nick and Alicia's father."

This small revelation stirred quite a pang in my stomach, knowing now that I reminded Madison of Alicia and Nick's father. I was lost for words and uttered, „Really… well Madison I feel really honored and touched to know that but, why if I may ask?"

„Well he always did light up the room with his antics and quirks. He also loved to sing. Back in the car when you sung, it reminded me of the times when we went as a family for a drive and he would put on a song and sing." Madison slipped her hand into mine and squeezed it vehemently while she told her story about her late husband. „Ah Steven how I missed you." Madison would then stroke the palm of my hand like a fortune teller would. It was obvious Madison thought I was like a reincarnation of Steven, which was why she was showing me such affection.

„Madison I'm really flattered, I really am, but I'm not Steven."

Madison lifted her head off my chest and looked me in the eyes and objected, „But you remind me of him, the only difference was he was much shorter than you."

I laughed it off and replied, „Well, one thing I've learnt after all that suffering and wanting to end my own life, is it's best to think of the positives and not think of the negatives."

„You're right Mikhail, we need to enjoy the moment and I know how," beamed Madison, slapping my thigh and moving to the other end of the sofa. She pulled out from behind the bottle of vodka I obtained in my supplies. „How about we have a drink?"

Seeing the clear transparent liquid in the bottle made me want to decline, but seeing Madison's smiling face swayed me to humor her. „Da, let's drink."

* * *

Madison and I went through the vodka with shot glasses that were conveniently found in the cabin. I could see Madison necked the vodka down her neck while necking my shot was like a chore. Each shot that went down my neck burnt my throat, the vodka really was strong. I even remember coughing a few times and Madison would laugh and give me a friendly punch in the arm. Madison even made a bet with me that she could beat me in a drinking game, which I cordially and reluctantly agreed on.

Our drinking session was social and festive. I could tell Madison was getting drunk before I was starting to feel the effects of drinking. I do remember teaching Madison a few words in Russian, especially how to say ‚cheers' which she struggled to pronounce correctly (like Ofelia) but got it right eventually.

„You know something Mikhail, this was something Steven and I would do together. Buy a bottle of hard liquor and get smashed," confessed Madison, her smile got wider and she laughed. It was quite obvious Madison was getting really drunk. Madison stopped laughing and would just look at me and would ask, „What are you thinking about Mikhail?"

„Nothing," I would answer, despite I was doing my best to not let the effects of alcohol dominate me.

„Thinking about my daughter?"

„Nyet, I."

„Don't lie, I know you're thinking about Alicia."

„Well I…"

„I knew it, you're wondering where she is or what she's doing."

„Actually I was thinking what I'm going to say when I next see her." I forced those words out of my mouth, uncertain about an appropriate response to please a drunk Madison right before me.

„Have you told Alicia yet?"

„Nyet, but I intend to."

„Well you better do or else I'm going to tell her," slurred Madison, pointing at me and knocking back her shot.

„I want to tell her, but I want to wait until we get back Ofelia for Daniel and deal with Marc Antony."

„Mikhail, Marc Antony will not stop you, we'll kick his butt and then we'll get you to talk to Alicia," asserted Madison, filling up her glass and mine.

„Da we'll do that. I know I have a chance with Alicia, she kissed me on the cheek."

Madison threw her shot of vodka down her gullet and responded, „See I knew it, Alicia does like you. If she kissed you on the cheek that means something."

„Well that was just a kiss on the cheek, I know that I need to tell her how I feel and I just hope she says ‚yes'."

Madison moved closer to me, without making much eye contact with me, in fact I could see her eyes were barely open. „Mikhail, this is what you've got to do. You've got to… go right up to her and tell her how pretty she is… then you got to… tell her how much she's changed your life and then you got to…" Madison was clearly struggling to spit the words out or even articulate them. „Then you got to tell her you love her and then you… kiss her."

Madison then collapsed onto my chest and snickered, „Oh I'm so wasted."

I gently put my hands on Madison's shoulders and advised, „I think we need to get you to bed, come let's go."

I took Madison's legs and lifted her up the sofa and carried her to her bedroom where she talked along the way. „Oh Mikhail thank you for looking after me and taking me to bed, you're a real hero." Madison blindly moved her hand to stroke my face tenderly.

I slowly and gently placed her in bed, but before I could straighten my back, Madison opened her eyes and lunged her face towards me. Her lips met my cheek as she kissed my cheek and slumped her head on the pillow.

„Mikhail, I wanted to kiss your lips," whined Madison.

Madison revealing her attempt to try and kiss me on the lips did stun me, but I found it sweet she wanted to bestow me with such a loving touch I would only expect from Alicia. Now I know three women who wanted to kiss me, first it was Ofelia, then Gretchen and now Madison.

„Madison you're a very beautiful lady." Having said that, I really did mean it. Madison looked very good for her age, beautiful bright sharp eyes, straight bridged nose and fine lips, which looked very enticing to kiss. I can't believe I really have that on the mind, my school counselor wanting to kiss me so bad and I was half tempted to indulge her.

„Then kiss this beautiful lady," demanded Madison.

„Madison I would love to but it's just. I've never kissed a girl before," I confessed.

„No, never?"

„I haven't, I want my first kiss to be special, that's why I'm saving it for Alicia."

Madison paused and said, „Okay, I understand and I agree that Alicia should be your first kiss. However I want you to promise me one thing."

„What is it?"

„You owe me a kiss on the lips when you get married."

I smiled and without thought about my choice of response, I knew it was the least I could do for Madison so I acquiesced, „Sure, I promise."

Madison smiled looking happy that I made a promise to her that she hoped I'd keep. I was hoping that Madison didn't really mean it and she was so drunk she would regret her actions the next morning. When it came to talking to those that are drunk, you do have to be quite a smooth talker to please them and hope you don't aggravate them.

„Madison if you could perhaps lie on your side it will help you recover easier," I instructed, slowly moving Madison to her side to face me. „This is so you don't asphyxiate on your vomit in case you do throw up."

Madison did as I asked, she rolled to her side, opened her eyes and smiled at me. „That's so much better, thank you Mikhail," thanked Madison, stretching out her hand to run her hand through my hair. „You have such wonderful hair Mikhail, so soft and light."

I relished in Madison playing with my hair and encouraged her, „Thank you Madison, you have wonderful hair too, but now you got to get yourself some rest. It's getting late."

„Are you going to be okay?"

„I'll be fine don't worry, you need to focus on getting yourself some sleep," I coaxed, getting up and fetching some items to ensure Madison recovers and is safe alone. „Here's a bucket in case you need to throw up, a bottle of water and some painkillers."

„Oh Mikhail, you're such an angel. Why can't there be more people like you?"

„I guess the world doesn't simply yield and give us everything we want. We simply have to be patient and good fortune will find us."

„You really have learnt so much, you forgot how lucky you are to be alive and I'm happy you're alive."

Feeling really touched by Madison's blissful ardent words, I smiled at her smiling face and requested, „I'm happy you're alive too, but now it's time to get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning."

„Okay, good night Mikhail," said Madison in a whispering loving tone.

„Good night Madison," I responded, leant forward and kissed her on the head.

I withdrew myself from Madison, touching her hand and letting it slide off as I backed away and left the room, only to see her looking relaxed and closing her eyes.

* * *

I retired to my sleeping quarters which was the couch where Madison and I were sitting, where I made myself comfortable and tried to get some sleep. It was hard to sleep at first because I reflected on my counseling session with Madison. It was a very memorable and wistful moment, a moment I would never regret and always treasure as a memory. If only I did let Madison into my life and went to counseling sessions or accepted her invitation in her house. Rather than regret what I should have done, I replayed the whole scenario when Madison and I decided to have a little fun and do vodka shots. Cerebrating and dreaming about the laughs Madison and I had as we necked shot after shot, I could feel my eyelids getting heavy and before I could determine which part of the scenario I was at, I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up to a bright new day, with intense rays of sunlight beaming on my face, which gave me the energy to jump on my feet. My head did slightly throb from all that vodka I drunk, but I knew a nice hot brewed black tea would fix that.

Optimistic and full of zeal, I marched to the kitchen to make myself a light breakfast and a black tea to wash it down, only to be greeted by an unexpected visit as I burst through the kitchen doors.

There I saw to my amazement was Daniel wearing an apron and a frying pan in his hand. „Buenos Dias Mikhail, I hope you're hungry. I'm making a Salvadoran breakfast, my specialty. Just wait till you taste my fried bananas, you'll love them," greeted Daniel with a smile. „Come, come meet our guest, he's eager to see you," said Daniel, beckoning his head towards the doors that lead into the dining room.

I followed Daniel into the dining room where I would receive a morning surprise from someone I did not expect to see. There at the table I saw Qaletaqa Walker drinking out of a mug and below a finished plate of what I assumed to be Daniel's breakfast specialty.

„Hello Mikhail, so nice to see you again my friend. Please sit down we need to talk, we have a problem."

 **To be continued…**


	18. Chapter 18: Desperate Alliance

**Chapter 18: Desperate Alliance**

You must not fight too often with one enemy or you will teach him the art of war.

 **\- Napoleon Bonaparte**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 14.09.2010**

Throughout my life I've learnt the values of having friends, mainly to guide you or stand by you or just means to maintain your self-esteem. I've had one true friend called Matt, whose mysterious betrayal continues to haunt me, but there is a part of me that still misses him as much as I hate to admit it.

I've made many friends on the way, some who trusted and accepted me to those that were hostile but became friends subsequently. My late grandma always told me I should forgive those who wrong me and understand their motives for their wrongdoings, and that is what I tried to do with Daniel. Daniel did try to kill me, but then again Walker probably would have been compelled to do the same. I was willing to build a friendship with Daniel for the sake of Ofelia, who I still deeply cared for and hoped she was still safe.

* * *

„Who wants seconds?" asked Daniel, with the spatula readied in his hand to scoop up fried bananas from the pan.

„I'm okay thank you Daniel," responded Walker, raising his mug to his lips.

Daniel looked at me and I smiled, „I'm okay too Daniel, thank you but those fried bananas really are filling."

„No problema, I can save them for dear Madison if she wakes up. Maybe her little rascals will like them if they should ever wake up," bubbled Daniel, walking back to the kitchen to leave Walker and I to continue our conversation.

„Are you sure he's there?" I asked Walker.

„Yes he's definitely there, Marc Antony has officially taken over the ranch and is holding my people hostage. That's why we need your help, we are going to take back the ranch and stop Marc Antony for good, he's going to pay dearly for what he's done," growled Walker.

„What has he done or what is he currently doing?"

„He's confining people and conducting some experiments on them, I don't know, he didn't allow me to see. Whatever he's doing, he's not going to get away with this."

„Look I want to rid the world of Marc Antony as much as you do, but we're going to need a lot more help."

„Which is why I haven't come alone. I brought some friends with me, finish your tea and come outside and meet them."

* * *

Walker and I walked out into the fresh air where the birds were singing and there was a light breeze. Such a vibe was needed to dulcify the surprise that awaited me. In the distance I saw a small camp where people were sitting down and having breakfast as they noticed Walker their leader had returned.

The one who approached Walker and I was an old friend of mine who I knew from the Black Hat Reservation, it was Lee. Lee and I greeted each other with a firm brotherly handshake followed by a hug.

Out of nowhere I felt a sharp pain in my hip, I looked down to see it was the kid who I met at the ranch, it was Rico or little Rico he was often called.

„You're dead," said Rico playfully, „You got to think fast Mikhail, how else can you expect to beat Marc Antony with such a slow mind?" Rico stepped backwards smiling at me mischievously. „Better watch your back Mikhail, because the next one is going to do you in?" warned Rico, still looking at me and taking steps back. It did occur to me that Rico is a little psychotic brat, almost the same level as Troy (a British Troy) or Marc Antony. For a moment I thought there might be a connection, but I ruled it out assuming he was also a refugee like the others who escaped the ranch.

After Rico went his own way, I saw someone in the distance who I recognized from the past. It was a little girl whose face resembled the same as the one when I woke up from a coma back at the ranch. It was the girl that gave me a lollipop and the one who I bought an ice cream, it was Mina. Right at that very moment when I recalled her name she would enthusiastically call out my name.

„Mikhail," cried Mina, running towards me. When she got close enough she jumped at me grabbed my legs and buried her face in me. „Mikhail I can't believe it's you. Oh how I missed you."

Feeling this little girl's love through her mellow squeaky voice, I couldn't help but deliver an avid response, „I missed you too Mina, I'm glad to know your safe."

Mina pulled her face away from my body and looked up into my eyes and randomly reminded, „You know, you never told me about the Czar and Rasputin."

„You're right I didn't, I think I never got the chance to."

„Well lets say you owe me one, a bed time story."

Looking into Mina's bright crystal blue eyes, I could see how eager and earnest she was, like a puppy scrounging for food at the table.

„Mina, what did I tell you about wondering off without telling me?" scolded a female, who I recognized as her mother.

„I know mum, but I stayed in your sight."

Mina's mum looked at me with a dour and mistrustful look as she placed her hands on her daughter.

„Sorry," I said, and didn't get any response from Mina's mum. She just turned and walked away with her daughter back to the others. Looking at Mina and her mum walk away, I pulled out the lollipop I still had in my possession and looked how beautiful it looked shining in the bright sun. Maybe I should eat it sometime, but now I wasn't in the mood for something sweet.

„What's up Russian?" sneered a voice that sent shivers down my spine, I looked to where the sound was coming from and I saw the face of a ghost who came back to haunt me. Those cold menacing eyes, that mischievous smile and wavy brown hair that resembled flames, it was Troy.

„Troy, what are you doing here?"

„Did you think they were going to keep me in a can? Native Americans maybe considered savages, but starving their victims to death isn't in their nature, they like to collect scalps."

I nodded with Troy, understanding his racist statement and tried to change the subject, „Is Jake here?"

„No he's not, probably back at the ranch and already defected to Marc Antony and joined his cause."

The idea of Jake joining Marc Antony did make sense in terms of his grudge and wanting revenge on me. I just hope it wasn't true that Jake and I are now bitter enemies and we will stop at nothing until one of us is dead.

„You know, you might be right, but why are you here and not in cuffs?" I asked.

Troy raised his hands as if he was about to put on a dance number, „Meet your new comrade in arms, you and me Mik-Kyle are going to be buddies again. We are going to go in their and whoop Marc Antony's butt out of this world, now if you'll excuse me, I'm hungry." Troy skipped away back to the camp and straight to the campfire where breakfast was cooking. I was skeptical about Troy joining the fight, but I was ready to trust him more than Jake. It was obvious he was looking to where the advantage was and would probably betray Walker again should the mission be successful and Marc Antony is removed. Or maybe Walker would kill Troy or re-incarcerate once he gains control of the ranch.

* * *

After breakfast, Walker summoned everyone who will be fighting to a meeting, where we would be briefed and presented with a plan how we were going to invade the ranch. A map of the ranch with objects representing the buildings, turrets and guards (as empty shell casings) was devised. Walker would pitch his well strategic and elaborate plan to take the ranch. A team of highly trained soldiers (including Daniel, Troy, Walker and myself) would infiltrate the ranch while two snipers would be posted, one of them being Lee. A second sniper has not been allocated, mainly because there was only one sniper rifle and that was Lee's. I recalled the SVD Dragunov I was given among my air supplies, I can't be the sniper because I agreed with Walker that I should go in with him. Who else is a sniper, who else can do it? Alicia has expressed interest in the firearms I possess, her and I had a conversation while I was cleaning my guns. She asked me about them and I gleefully told her. I even let her hold them and taught her how to take them apart and put them back together. She was a fast learner and has demonstrated her aptitude and knowledge of firearms to prove herself a worthy candidate for the position as the second sniper.

* * *

Alicia and I arranged what I like to call our first date where her and I would do some shooting together. One thing Alicia told me while I lectured her about guns was if she had fired a gun before and so has Nick. Her father used to take her and Nick to the shooting range where they both got the opportunity to fire live rounds from a low calibre pistol. From that experience they accumulated basic knowledge with how to handle firearms, but this was a while ago, so Alicia must be a little bit rusty.

Alicia and I were both at our private personal shooting range, where both her and I would set up targets and get ready for some shooting practice. I showed off my skills to her with how quick and accurate I was with my Makarov, which would impress Alicia and make her crack a smile. When it was Alicia's turn, she did miss on occasions mainly because she didn't squeeze the trigger, she pulled it halfway and stopped before a round was fired. I instructed her that once she commenced squeezing the trigger, she doesn't stop until a round has been fired. Eventually Alicia got better, she hit each target without missing once.

After Alicia has perfected her skills with a handgun, I decided to let her try operating an assault rifle. As soon as Alicia laid hands on my AK and I started to fill her in on how to use an assault rifle, she told me that Jake taught her, but it was a Smith and Wesson M&P15. The only difference between the M&P15 and the AK is that the AK fired a heavier round, while the M&P15 was lightweight. One quality I tried to sell Alicia about the AK was how basic and simple it was to operate, unlike the M&P15 and other rifles in the M16 series, the AK didn't require much training or instructions on how to use it. In other words it was the perfect weapon for an amateur, no complex field stripping or deep cleaning, just pick up and shoot.

Alicia was taken aback by the recoil of the AK when she fired a light burst, she was too used to firing 5.56mm and not a flurry of 7.62mm. Just like anyone who's fired a low calibre and tried a heavier calibre, she adjusted to the kick of a 7.62mm and I felt it was time to move onto the weapon I was preparing her to use. I was trying to slowly build up her confidence and make sure she was comfortable firing heavier calibers.

Like a man presents his lover with an anniversary present, I presented Alicia with the SVD Dragunov sniper rifle. Alicia smiled and humbly took the rifle and laid out the sniper mat so she's more comfortable lying on her belly. Alicia had her eye fixed on the scope and had chosen a target in the distance, the stock was pressed into her shoulder and her finger was around the trigger. Before she was ready to shoot, I whispered further instructions into her ear, which I had no idea I was rambling and it became clear I was annoying and distracting her. She responded with what I vividly remembered as, „Dumb-ass, I can't concentrate with you whispering in my ear." I apologized and backed away and waited for Alicia to fire the first shot. A shot coughed out of the barrel and echoed as the target exploded into fragments. I felt so proud of Alicia for succeeding in hitting her target and praised her. If there's one thing I remembered more other than Alicia hitting her target on the first attempt was when she called me a ‚dumb-ass', I thought it was really cute.

* * *

After training Alicia how to use the sniper rifle and getting Walker to allocate her as the second sniper, I decided to give Alicia some space and have a tea break. It was at this moment I was approached by Nick and got to know him.

„Hey Mikhail, mind if I join you?"

I looked up to see Nick smiling at me, obviously greeting me and meaning good intentions. I responded with, „Not at all, please sit."

Nick sat on the sofa next to me and asked, „Have you got any fags?"

I hesitated over the shock that Nick is a smoker, but I answered him and pulled out my cigarettes, „Da, here."

Nick took the packet off me, pulled out a fag and I handed him my lighter and he lit his cigarette.

„You're not going to have one?" wondered Nick, with a cigarette in his mouth.

„I… I'm trying to cut back."

„What because of Alicia?" asked Nick, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and blowing a stream of smoke.

„Da I mean nyet, I decided smoking is bad for you so that is why I'm cutting back."

Nick looked at me with a wide smile, obviously sensing the lie and knew I was hiding something from him.

„That's what I came to talk to you about, I know how you feel about my sister. I've seen the way you look at her. Come on don't tell me lies, admit it, you like my sister."

Knowing I was cornered and blushing with embarrassment, I looked at Nick who was still smiling inquisitively. I looked at the pack of cigarettes I gave Nick just lying by his side. I grabbed them and decided to have a cigarette while revealing the guilty truth to Nick, not knowing how he felt about the idea of me dating his younger sister.

„Ladna, I admit it. I don't like Alicia, I love her. Sorry if you're against the idea of me dating your sister."

Nick shook his head and replied, „Not at all, in fact I've heard what you did for Alicia and my mum."

„You knew about that?"

„Yeah, before you came looking for me. I heard how you protected them and Travis from the militia at the Mexican border."

„Look about what happened in the military fuel depot and that fight from yesterday I thought I'd…"

„Mikhail I understand why you did it. I wanted to stop the fight between you and Luciana and I will admit I overreacted after you punched her."

„I know, should have let you handle it rather than me taking action."

„Still I don't approve of you punching my girl and putting a knife to my throat, but I'm willing to let it slide and try and build a friendship with you."

The word ‚friendship' coming from Nick and knowing he was offering it to me, warmed my heart.

„Nick I don't think I can express how much it means to me how you offer me friendship."

„Shall we start that bond with a handshake?" offered Nick, giving me his open hand.

„Sure future brother in law." Nick and I both laughed and shook hands. „You know my father is called Nick."

Nick almost chocked when taking the next drag on his cigarette. „What, really?"

„Well his name is ‚Nikolai' which is ‚Nicholas' in Russian."

„Oh that's interesting, ‚Mikhail' must mean ‚Michael' in Russian."

„Correct, kind of smart for some guy who never finished school."

„Yeah well neither did my sister and you know her, she was a top student."

„Da I know, kind of one of the reasons she amazes me with how smart she is."

„Yeah well before you get carried away talking about my sister let's talk about you assaulting my girl."

„I thought we're cool with that."

„We are, but I suppose it would be nice with an apology."

„I'm sorry I punched your girl."

„Don't apologize to me, apologize to her."

„I will when I see her next I promise."

„Well that apology isn't going to wait long, because here she is now with Alicia." Nick looked in the distance and I could see Luciana was walking with Alicia, Nick called out aloud, „Hey ladies." Nick acquired Luciana and Alicia's attention as they turned and walked towards us. „Remember just be sincere to her," whispered Nick, leaning towards me.

„Nick I've been looking all over for you," said Luciana.

„Well I have been too, I believe you've met our new friend Mikhail."

„I have, I don't recall you ever calling him a friend."

„He's cool, believe me him and I have been chatting and getting to know each other better. Isn't that right Mikhail?"

„Da that's right."

„If you could do me one little favor Luciana, I would like you and Mikhail to have a little conversation. I would like to talk to my sister a little bit if you don't mind."

Luciana put on a frown, drawing her dark eyebrows together and reluctantly answered, „Si, I'll do that."

„Good girl, no fighting you two," joked Nick, walking off with Alicia.

Luciana sat next to me and there was a moment of silence, as we were both uncertain where to begin, but then I remembered Nick's request for me to apologize.

„How's your jaw?" I asked Luciana.

„It's okay, still hurts a little when I eat," answered Luciana not looking at me, it was obvious she doesn't quite trust me.

„First things first, I'm sorry that I punched you in the jaw," I apologized, trying to sound genuine and not forced.

Luciana hesitated by taking a deep breath and breathing out, „I'm sorry too Mikhail, I'm sorry for pointing a gun at you. I just hope you understand that I do find it hard to trust you."

„I don't blame you, I'm still trying to figure out what those blackouts are. I know what the source of them is, but I think I know how to avoid them."

„How?"

„It's long and complicated, but lets say it's some sort of hypnotherapy, which is a result of tapes I listen to and beginning a recording before commencing a mission."

„But that mission tomorrow, isn't that going to cause another blackout when you go into the ranch?"

„I don't think so, I've found away around it. Luckily Daniel was able to translate what was on the tape so I know what my objectives are."

„I sure hope you're right about that Mikhail, we can't have you pose a risk to anyone who tries to intervene and assist you."

„Da I know, trust me Luciana. I know what I'm doing."

„That's kind of why I'm not going in, I'm going to be Alicia's spotter. I hope that's okay with you."

„Da that's okay, we need recon as part of the mission."

„Thank you for your understanding Mikhail, now if you don't mind I would like to talk to Nick."

„Da sure, please go right ahead," I said as Luciana got up and walked to Nick and Alicia in the distance.

I watched the trio and saw they were talking to each other, I don't know what the subject was, whether it was about me or something else, but I was fine with letting them engage in conversation regardless of the subject. All of a sudden I heard a squeaky little voice beside me and a small hand touch mine.

„Mikhail are you going to now tell me the story about the Czar like you promised?" asked Mina, looking into my eyes.

I looked back at the trio and didn't know if I wanted to interact with them or just leave them alone and spend time with Mina, whom I know I owe a story to.

„Da, I'll tell you tonight. We should go back to your mother, she should get better acquainted with me. It's more appropriate that way."

I got up and was ready to walk to the camp with Mina, but before I could, I saw Alicia look at me. She bestowed me with a smile, which I returned. It was certain that Alicia does like me, but that talk with Alicia would have to wait, I got a little girl who I made a promise to and this wasn't a promise I was willing to break, especially for a little girl's heart.

* * *

„So Mikhail, what's the story between the Czar and Rasputin? And please start with how it was before Rasputin came," request Mina, relaxed in her bed under the tent.

Before I proceeded to tell her the story, I looked at her mother who I saw outside. She requested I left the tent open. Understandable coming from a protective mother, unlike my father who just let me do what I want as long as I didn't get in his way.

„Well the best place to begin is the economic situation in Russia and why its people turned against the Czar. While the people struggled to feed themselves and stay warm, the Czar lived in luxury and tranquility, oblivious to what was really going on."

„Why didn't the Czar give food to the people?" asked Mina, looked perplexed like any young curious kid would act.

„Basically there were disputes over land and crop failures, which resulted in bread shortages. Bread was the natural food resource a starving nation depended on. There was however a buffet organized outside of Moscow called the Khodynka field, where thousands upon thousands of starving people turned up. As you can guess they were fighting their way through the crowd just to get food and that tragically resulted in over a thousand people being killed by being crushed to death."

„That's terrible, I just hope something like that doesn't happen. I was in LA and I saw people squabbling over for food and water. Mum just grabbed what she could and we ran back to the house."

„Good thing you did, got to do everything in your power just to survive."

„So what about Rasputin, who was he exactly?"

„The best way to describe Rasputin was he was a con-artist. He posed as a mystic and faith healer just to get money or anything else he wanted. It all begun when Czar Nicholas II and his wife Alexandra had a son called Alexei. They were happy to have a son who would succeed the throne, but the only problem was he suffered from hemophilia."

„Hemophilia, what is that?"

„An illness, which causes internal bleeding. Any scratch or injury of any kind was fatal, he nearly died on many occasions."

„And how did he survive?"

„This is where Rasputin came in. The empress was a superstitious and religious lady, she sought faith healers around the country and came across Rasputin. He volunteered to come and examine Alexei. It may have been something supernatural but whenever he was around or intervened in the affair, a miracle occurred and Alexei survived. This of course earned Rasputin respect and trust in the family and gave him an opportunity to live a superficial and luxurious lifestyle where he could get and do anything he wanted."

„What was it Rasputin wanted to do?"

„I can't give all the details (I didn't want to mention Rasputin was a womanizer who sexually assaulted women because Mina was too young.) but let's say he used to get drunk a lot and cause scenes. He even took complete control of the government and achieved absolute power, he could commit any act of treachery and get away with it. This of course angered the Russian people, politicians and other members of the Czar, they plotted to kill him."

„How did they kill him?"

„They invited Rasputin to a meeting where they gave him drink and cakes laced with poison. He consumed the poison, but it had no effect on him. So they decided to kill him by shooting him, but that had no effect either. They then shot him again and beat him to death and dumped him in the ice cold river where he eventually died."

„How was it that hard to kill him?"

„I really don't know, it never was explained. Maybe Rasputin really did possess such power he was so hard to kill."

„What about the Czar? Why did the people attack the palace."

„Well that happened after Rasputin was murdered. The best way to put it is that Rasputin already did the damage and ruined the people's loyalty and faith in the Czar, if that's not enough the country got involved in World War 1 fighting against Germany."

„Did Russia win?"

„Nyet, they were ill equipped and unprepared for war, the Germans annihilated them in the thousands. You see Russia had the manpower, but not the weapons needed to fight the Germans. German artillery surpassed the little to no artillery the Russians had at their disposal, plus some soldiers did not have their own rifle, they had to obtain them from a dead soldier."

„That's terrible, and that was what brought the Russians to breaking point and turn against the Czar?"

„Well it was the final nail in the coffin you could say. Many Russians refused to fight and would just leave the battlefield and return home. Even the Czars' palace guards stopped protecting the monarch they were once loyal to and joined the revolution. It became clear that Nicholas II had to abdicate."

„Abdicate?"

„Give up the throne and dissolve the monarch."

„Then they were killed?"

„Not right away, they were moved to Yekaterinburg, which is farther in the east near the southern border; not far from Kazakhstan."

„But why were they killed."

„I'm going to get to that. First they were under the impression that they were being relocated for their own safety, but little did they know who was really protecting them. Without sounding too confusing there were two groups competing for control of the country. The Bolsheviks, better known as the reds and the Provisional Government, better known as the whites. The Bolsheviks were the ones protecting the Czar, but when fighting between the reds and whites broke out near their location, the reds lured the Nicholas and his family into a basement where they were shot and killed."

„Including Anastasia?"

„I'm afraid so," I said, trying to sound mournful and sympathetic towards the murdered youth.

„Why did they make a film about Anastasia surviving?"

„The film you watched is purely fiction, but it was based on a theory and a rumor that Anastasia could have survived. It all begun with a lady known as Anna Anderson, real name Franziska Schanzkowska. She spent her entire life trying to convince everyone she was really Anastasia."

„And was she?" Mina sounded excited, still wanting to believe Anastasia survived.

„Nyet, I mean no. She was an imposter, she was only pretending to be Anastasia. They even did a DNA test which proved invalid and that she was a fake."

„Why would she do that?"

„Probably to seize money that they were inherited to, but of course she wasn't the only one. There were others posing as Anastasia and other members of the family, but they never proved themselves."

„Kind of like in the film, Dimitri and Vlad. They searched for women who would willingly pretend to be Anastasia, but then they came across the real Anastasia."

Mina making a reference to a film I don't think I ever saw all the way through, convinced me where the idea came from.

„Well it was obvious they wanted to make money."

„They were, but then Dimitri had a change of heart and really wanted to reunite Anastasia with her grandma."

„Well I know how heart warming that would have been, but unfortunately the reign of the Czar ended and the last remaining members of the Czar avoided captivity and assassination."

„What happened to Russia though?"

„The Bolsheviks gained control over the government and turned the country into a socialist republic, the USSR, better known as the Soviet Union."

„So who ruled Russia?"

„Vladimir Lenin, he won over the people with the promise of bread, land and most of all, he promised to end the war with Germany."

„So today Russia is called the Soviet Union?"

„Nyet, the Soviet Union came to an end, I was born the day the Soviet Union disintegrated and became a federation."

„So how did the Soviet Union end?"

I smiled and laughed, knowing that it was going to be another long story, „That's another story, which I will tell you someday. For now, you need to get some sleep."

I prepared to leave the tent, but Mina's small hand gripped my arm and she questioned, „Do you really have to fight tomorrow?"

I got the bad feeling in my gut, which I knew could be the day I die. I breathed in deep and breathed out and sighed, „Da unfortunately I have to."

„But why?"

„Because I'm a soldier, and soldiers fight."

„But you could be killed."

„Da that maybe true, but I don't want to die. I want to live, come back and tell you about the Soviet Union, if that's what you were hoping."

„Yeah I want to know more about this Soviet Union, and I want to learn Russian."

„Of course, I would be happy to teach you." despite knowing the language was hard for any beginner to learn. I had a hard time learning English as a second language.

„Promise me you'll come back alive."

I smiled at Mina and promised, „I promise."

„Pinky swear?" asked Mina, offering me her hand with her little finger stuck out.

Living in the States for a long time, this ‚Pinky Swear' was new to me, all I knew was ‚pinky' is another name for the little finger. So I humored Mina and did the same with my hand and she wrapped her little finger around mine.

„Pinky swear," I said with a warm smile. I got up and said, „Good night Mina."

„Good night Mikhail," replied Mina, sounding really tired.

I exited the tent and was immediately approached by Mina's mother, probably intending to tuck her daughter in after I left.

„You got a minute Mikhail?" asked Mina's mother.

„Da, sure," I responded, feeling intimidated by Mina's mother's presence, uncertain whether she trusts me yet.

„Mina has been talking a lot about you, it seems she really looks up to you."

„Well I'm happy to know she looks up to me. I never had any siblings so it really does feel like having a little sister."

„Mina however does have a sibling, well to be more precise, did have a sibling."

„O I'm sorry to hear if her sibling passed away."

„Mina had an older brother, who she idolized and was always there for her. One day before all this happened, he died in a car crash."

My stomach turned when I heard the phrase ‚car crash', it was the return of a bad memory and a reminder of how I almost died. First Madison's late husband and now Mina's brother died the same way, it was a shocking coincidence.

„That's terrible, once again I'm sorry to hear that. I know what it's like to lose a relative."

„We all had to experience loss after everything went to hell. Mina was never the same after that, she cut herself off from other people, even her friends at school. You were basically the only other person she connected to after her brother died."

„I'm really flattered by all this, but I hope she doesn't become too attached because I'm going to war tomorrow. There's no guarantee I will come back."

Mina's mum bowed down her head, speculating on that premonition, but looked up at me and said, „Do what you got to do Mikhail, but please try to come back alive. Mina needs someone else besides me who she can relate to."

Without ruminating too much on the fact I could die tomorrow, I only thought positive and imagined myself surviving and coming back to Mina and Alicia. I bestowed Mina's mother with a smile and assuaged, „I promise I will try to survive and come back. I know I can win the day and we can all live in peace and harmony."

Mina's mum smiled and nodded. „Well good night Mikhail and good luck."

„Good night erm… what is your name?" I asked Mina's mother.

„Marian," answered Mina's mother.

„Good night Marian," I said, before turning around and destining to my sleeping quarters where I would rest and replenish my strength and energy for tomorrow.

* * *

I woke up early in the morning to feel how cold the air was and how dark the clouds were and how red the sky looked. It was the setting mood for a day where blood would be shed and many would die.

Everyone who was fighting dined on a hearty breakfast before gearing up and assembling where Walker would give his motivational speech:

„My brothers, today is the day of reckoning. Our family are being held captive by the one who deceived us and poisoned our minds with the promise of trade and prosperity, but today we go and fight and take back our sacred land. Some of you wont be coming back, but know this, you gave your lives to save the many; and that is for the good of our tribe. We all emerged from the earth and today some of us will return there, only to reemerge as spirits. Maasaw gave us our land and we vowed to protect and nurture our land, our land, we as a family. If blood is to be spilled, then let it be blood, blood which gives birth to a new era. Never forget these words: Kyavtsi, Sumi'nangwa, Nami'nangwa and Hita'nangwa. These are traditions we live by and what makes us family, and why it's our duty to march to war and take back the land that was stolen from us. For Maasaw, for our land, for our tribe; to war."

A loud and boisterous cheer from Walker's men erupted as they raised their weapons in the air. I saw Troy just standing in audience next to me, just smiling sardonically at Walker. Obviously not manifesting any signs of loyalty to him or his cause, but was willing to fight for the ranch he helped his father protect from Walker's tribe.

Everyone dispersed and got ready to board their vehicles, which would drive them to the ranch. Just when I was about to breakaway from the audience I saw Matt. He was looking at me smiling and waving, obviously showing his support and wishing me luck. Guess that's one thing I needed to lift my spirits up, my deceased best friend showing up.

Before I got into my vehicle, I saw Alicia and Luciana stationed at theirs. They were riding with Lee and another member of Walker's tribe whose name I didn't know. I decided to approach Alicia just to boost my moral and take the opportunity to see her because I never knew, this might be the last time I see her.

„Hi," I greeted Alicia.

„Hi," greeted Alicia back with a smile, after she turned round and noticed me.

„Just wanted to see how you were before we go in and kick some butt." Alicia frowned with half a smile on her face, showing what I assumed was disapproval for my use of the language. „Sorry, I guess that's the wrong way to put it."

„Let's go and talk somewhere private," offered Alicia, handing the SVD rifle I allowed her to use to Luciana. Alicia and I walked farther away from the vehicle where we would talk.

„So how are you feeling about what we are about to embark on?" I asked Alicia.

„I'm feeling okay I guess. I'm the sniper remember, not going to be going into the lion's den."

„I know, that's why I have you as back up. You are to take out what I miss."

Alicia curved a smile on her lips. What a wonderful sight it was to see her still enticing lips and beaming eyes looking into mine. She then started to laugh what compelled me to laugh too.

After we stopped laughing, Alicia asked me derisively, „What about you, you nervous too or do you need someone to hold your hand?"

I laughed and replied, „Nyet, well a little nervous like everyone is, but you've got to understand that you need to use nerves in order to achieve your goals. It becomes adrenaline and that's when you don't stop and keep on going until it's over, it's what actors feel before they take the stage."

„You and your acting Mikhail, I knew when I saw you dance on stage there was no stopping you."

„Like I said, don't stop when the adrenaline kicks in." Alicia and I laughed again until there was a moment of silence and I asked, „You sure you're comfortable with everything, you know how to use that gun?"

„Dumbass, you taught me how to use that gun. I can take care of myself."

„Sorry it's just I'm looking out for you."

Alicia's reaction turned to awe as she smiled and lauded, „Oh Mikhail."

Once again there was a moment of silence with Alicia and I staring into each other's eyes. Could this be it? Is this where and when Alicia and I would kiss for the first time? Unfortunately it was not meant to be as Madison stepped in.

„You ready you two, ready to see some action?" asked Madison, with a sly expression on her face.

„Mum this is real not fun and games," laughed Alicia mockingly.

„I know it is. I wish I could come along too, but your brother and I have to protect the others who are not fighting," said Madison, expressing some signs of distress and concern.

„I understand mum. I promise I will be careful and come back in one piece," coaxed Alicia.

„I know you will," said Madison, lovingly stroking her daughter's face and taking her in her arms.

They released each other and Alicia begun to walk back to her vehicle. Not without saying last words of encouragement to brighten my mood, „Remember Mikhail, I've got you in my sights."

I smiled at Alicia's remark before turning to look at Madison who was already expressing concerns for my departure and whether I would come back alive. She impulsively threw her arms around me and pressed herself vehemently into my chest.

„Please come back Mikhail, Alicia needs you, I need you," pleaded Madison.

„I will I promise, I'm going to tell Alicia after the mission," I vowed.

I looked into Madison's mawkish face before I comforted her with a smile and turned away to walk to my vehicle.

„Oh Mikhail," called Madison.

„Da," I responded as I turned around to look at her.

„If possible and if he's still alive, please save Travis and bring him back to me."

That name brought back the memory of someone I forgot about since I left the ranch. Travis was probably still in a coma or hopefully he's come through. Whatever condition he's in, I had to find out and hopefully save him. Not only did I hope to save Travis and Ofelia, but everyone if possible, but I knew that I would have to accept the losses whoever they were.

„I promise Madison, I will do all I can," I swore, seeing Madison putting her hands over her mouth and shedding tears.

* * *

As I walked to my vehicle that was still waiting for me, I saw Rico wrestling with Troy. Little Rico was climbing on Troy's back with an arm around his throat. Troy was trying to shake him off, but Rico stuck to him like a monkey in a tree. I didn't know if they were just playing about or Rico was trying to mug Troy for something. Either way the fight was broken off by Madison as she led Rico away and left Troy to walk to his vehicle.

Looking at Rico I did start to suspect that he wasn't like any ordinary kid, not the fact he's a foreigner like me, but how he was wrestling with Tory. He sure is a cunning and devious, not a well mannered gentleman I would expect an English kid to be, but like a wild savage like from the book ‚Lord of the Flies'. He sure has the intellect and disposition to lead a group of savages like him. The more I thought about it, the more disturbing it was to know I had someone like him dwelling among the survivors, I don't know the chaos he could cause.

„Hey Mikhail, we got to go. Everyone is waiting for us," said Daniel, tugging my arm.

* * *

Daniel and I walked to our vehicle as it was obvious I would be riding with him. We sat in the back of the open truck and talked along the way. I wanted to remain silent and focus on the mission, but Daniel wanted to talk to me about his family.

„You like her don't you?" asked Daniel, looking at me with small attentive eyes.

„Who do you mean?" I wondered.

„You know who. Alicia, you like her don't you?"

Great, now it was becoming clear to everyone that I have eyes for Alicia. Might as well be honest with Daniel, what is the worst that can happen?

„Da it's true, I love Alicia," I admitted reluctantly, just hoping Daniel wouldn't gossip.

„I saw you two talking, you were smiling and laughing together. I know it's a sign there's something going on."

„Well Alicia and I are not officially a couple, we just seem to be friends."

„You never know Mikhail, a romance can happen between you and Alicia. You got to tell her how you feel."

Again another person finds out about my romantic interest in Alicia and persuades me to tell her.

„I will, after the mission. That way there's no obstacle or anything that can get in the way of our romance."

„There was a time Mikhail when I had a sweetheart, her name was Griselda. She was my everything, she was the one who could bring back stability in my life. Together we had one daughter, Ofelia. When Ofelia was born, we both promised to give Ofelia a normal upbringing and not the one we endured when we were children."

„I think you mentioned you were a soldier and experienced combat as a child?"

„Si and so was Griselda, which you could say made us the perfect match. You have to understand this Mikhail, Ofelia is all I have got and I need you to get her back for me."

„I promise I will do that. Ofelia is important to me too, she has a heart of gold. She revitalized my confidence and helped me start believing in myself again."

„She's a good girl my Ofelia. She chose family over her fiancee, still I regret Griselda and I didn't encourage Ofelia to follow her heart. Her fiancee was a good man, he would have taken care of my girl."

Reminded of how Ofelia sacrificed a chance to be married, made me think whether Ofelia still regrets that decision.

„Da you are right, but at the end of the day she made her decision. What is done it done, we cannot turn back time as much as we would like to."

„You cannot fight fate Mikhail, I learnt the hard way that you can't allow yourself to be tortured by your own past. You have to accept what has happened and move on with your life. But if there's one thing I would like to remind you of, it's better to express your own emotions. That's how you grow stronger. Each traumatic event and devastating loss I endured, I learnt from it and grown resilient against what fate has decided to take from me."

„Da," I acknowledged, reflecting all what Daniel has told me. You cannot fight fate, whatever number is cast on the die decides the outcome of the game.

* * *

We reached the outskirts of the ranch where we set up observation posts, preparing to advance to what has been modified into a well guarded fortress. There were guard towers, barbed wire fence Before we commenced the mission, we waited for the snipers to take position.

While we were stationed and waited for our snipers to report, I observed the ranch like everyone did, but unlike everyone else; I kissed the Orthodox crucifix that I wore around my neck. That's right, I started to revert back to Christianity. Yesterday I prayed for the first time in years, thought I'd give it a go since I might be dead today and I'm ready to find myself at God's mercy and hopefully be granted into heaven. I recited quotes from the Bible in my language to calm my nerves and gaze into what could become my grave. God give me strength and grant me victory for I shall put an end to the wickedness that is him, he is the devil and I will best him.

„Sniper 1 in position," said a male voice on the walkie talkie, who I perceived to be Lee's.

„Sniper 2 in position," said a female voice on the walkie talkie, who I knew was Alicia.

Hearing Alicia's voice was the impetus and solace I needed to ready my arm and proceed with the mission. The moment of truth had arrived, I pulled out my walkman with the tape in, pressed the record button and said, „Prodolzhat' Missiya: Константинopel, seychas." I blinked once and expected to awaken from a stupor and be in an unexpected place, completely unaware what's happened, ready to learn what I've done. Have I succeeded in rescuing Ofelia, or was she dead and I would succumb to Daniel's wrath and our antagonism would reemerge.

Instead I found myself exactly where I was, standing in front of my comrades, still having the helium balloon in my possession. This was when I knew I did it, I have averted in having another blackout. I was myself, able to carry out the mission my unidentified superior has allocated me and rescue Ofelia and hopefully Travis too. I was so excited and relieved what had just happened, but my moment of elation was interrupted by Walker tapping me on the shoulder.

„Mikhail, what's wrong with you? Let's go," said Walker.

I apologized and took the lead, following the strategy and plan accordingly. My first move was to approach the ranch via a blind spot near the guard tower. I had one of the bigger and burly soldiers from Walker's tribe crouch near the barbed wire fence (which I knew was electrified) and I used his back as a boost to hop over the fence. I stood with my back against the metal fence in line of the guard tower where I gave one of Walker's men a boost so he could climb the guard tower and take out the guard in it. Next I was to advance towards the main entrance where there were two guards posted. I took one guard while Walker took the other one out.

With the main entrance secure and the guards in the guard tower liquidated, everyone else gathered outside the main entrance and moved in. The interior of the ranch has changed, there were armored vehicles, tents, and cargo crates, it almost resembled a maze. Our weapons were drawn, fingers on the trigger and prepared for enemy fire in case we were detected. So far we had avoided detection and were able to remain quiet, but that would all change should we be detected and alarms would be raised. The snipers were only to fire should the base go on red alert or if Marc Antony was in sight and there was an opportunity to take him out.

Walking farther and deeper into the seemingly and disturbingly abandoned ranch, did make me feel uneasy and caused me to hear my own heart beat in my chest. Now I know what it was like to be a German soldier in Stalingrad during World War 2, in a big ravaged city where everywhere was a Russian soldier, hiding and waiting to shoot.

As soon as we came to a spacious part of the ranch, a megaphone screech and ear-piercing sound filled my body with fright.

„Welcome, bienvenida, dobro pozhalovat'," boomed Marc Antony's voice.

Everyone including me turned to where Marc Antony's voice was emanating from. Our weapons were aimed at him and so were his weapons which his own heavily armed troops were armed with. He was smiling smugly, still wearing his fur-coat over what looked like high-tech body armor and he was wearing expensive looking shades. He swiped them off and looked at me with his evil malicious eyes.

„Privet Mikhail, so glad you made it."

 **To be continued…**


	19. Chapter 19: Warzone

**Chapter 19: Warzone**

Better to die for something than live for nothing.

 **\- George S. Patton**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 16.09.2010**

I have survived many battles and have been subjected to many near death experiences. Only by wits and the will to carry on did I narrowly evade what could have been the end.

Each and ever day ever since the apocalypse happened do I ask myself why I fight. It was obvious that Alicia was the reason I fight, but the truth is, she was what gave me the will to go on living. I've meddled in other people's affairs as much as I knew how dangerous it was to get involved, but I knew I did it with good intentions.

The battle I was about to engage in I knew was with someone who I've had bad blood with back at school, it was Marc Antony. He has for some mysterious reason grown into some powerful tyrant and I was about to find out how. Not just that, I would learn the real reason why he wanted me dead.

* * *

„Well well well Mikhail, I see you've brought friends with you, even deserters," smirked Marc Antony, drawing his golden plated Beretta 92.

„Where's my people Marc Antony, what have you done with them?" grilled Walker aggressively.

„Oh they are somewhere, close by, incarcerated somewhere," answered Marc Antony with the look of deceit on his face.

„Where's my daughter? What have you done with Ofelia?" asked Daniel firmly.

„Ofelia, where have I heard that name before? Oh yes she's become our little volunteer in a little experiment. Don't worry she's been a good girl, she performed her role perfectly."

I saw Daniel's face scrunch and heavy breathing through his nostrils. „Where's my daughter?" snarled Daniel.

„Look Ofelia's dad," said Marc Antony, still adhering that insufferable smug face of his.

„Daniel," asserted Daniel.

„Right… Daniel, Ofelia is locked in the pantry somewhere. Don't worry, she's got company. However, she wont be lonely for long."

„LET OFELIA GO!" I yelled, feeling angry at Marc Antony's obvious lack of conscience for human life.

„By the way Mikhail, you might want to know that Ofelia has been calling your name. I'm suspecting that there's something going on between you two."

„There's nothing going on between Ofelia and I, we're just friends."

„Right friends, oh I forgot, Alicia is the one you love. Last time I remember she was Matt's girl and you tried to steal her away from him. Some friend you were to Matt, no wonder you two broke up."

„First you have no right to mention his name and second, Alicia is none of your business," I frowned at Marc Antony.

„Well it's too bad you wont get to live to have a romance with her. Your homies will be test subjects for the last phase of my experiment." Marc Antony drew his gun to me and put back on his shades. „As for you Mikhail, your role is over." Marc Antony put a cigarette in his mouth and had one of his henchmen light it for him. „I'm afraid I'm going to have to drop you."

Staring at the face and the hand with a gun in it, it was a sign that Marc Antony would pull the trigger and a shootout would commence. My weapon was aimed at him and I was ready to pull the trigger and wipe that sly confident mug off his face. A trigger was pulled and a shootout did commence, but it wasn't from Marc Antony's or my gun, it was a shot that echoed outside the ranch.

A fountain of blood spurted out of Marc Antony's shooting arm and he spun on his feet and fell on the floor writhing in pain. As a result, bullets started flying in the air and onto the ground, kicking up clouds of dirt. It created the perfect smoke screen to run for cover and evade the gunfire coming from Marc Antony's men.

„GET SOME SNIPERS POSTED NOW," yelled Marc Antony desperately, obviously feeling the pain in his arm. Knowing that Marc Antony was calling out snipers to counterattack the two snipers really got me deathly concerned for Alicia, knowing one of Marc Antony's snipers could find Alicia and take her out. I could not let this anxiety distract me, I needed to focus on the mission. Alicia can take care of herself, otherwise, what was all that training her for?

* * *

While the group scattered, I found myself on my own and searching for Ofelia, Travis or any survivors both Walkers tribe or ranchers. If possible, I hoped to find Marc Antony and take him out, that way I hoped it would diminish his soldiers' morale and they would surrender unless he had a second in command.

Out of blind luck, I saw Marc Antony disappear with one of his bodyguards into a maze of cargo crates, I decided to pursue him. While I was in the claustrophobic area, I listened carefully for footsteps or any other sounds that might give his position away. I did see spots of blood on the floor, which must be Marc Antony's, I decided to follow the trail. After following the blood trail, I saw Marc Antony still accompanied and being escorted by his bodyguard. Marc Antony spotted me and yelled to his bodyguard, „SHOOT HIM." Marc Antony dived for cover behind a crate which I dodged his bodyguard's bullets by kicking up the wall, giving me the height advantage and a clean shot at him with my revolver.

After taking out the heavily body-armored bodyguard, I peeked through the junction Marc Antony took and saw he was there with his back against the metallic wall. I saw him with a syringe in his hand as he injected it into his injured arm. The wound in his arm looked severe as the bullet did substantial damage, it could have practically taken his arm off. Once Marc Antony had finished injecting the unidentified substance into his body, he looked at me and smiled, „Morphine, never leave home without it." Marc Antony threw away the syringe and relished in the effect the morphine was having on him.

„Surrender Marc Antony, it's over. If you call off your men I'm willing to take you in alive and we can settle this."

Marc Antony laughed and snickered, „Mikhail, you don't get it do you. After all you've been through and all it's taken me to get this far, do you think I'm going to let you live?"

„Why are you doing this? Why did you betray me and get Matt to assist you?" I interrogated, holding my revolver to his face.

„First of all Mikhail, I never liked you. Ever since I saw you with Matt, I knew he was trapped with a dork like you. You heard me right, I never liked dorks, geeks, nerds or whatever they're called. You think you know everything and you like to show off and hope it gets you homies. You're all talk and never do, rather than go out partying and socializing you rather stay home and play dungeons and dragons. Unlike you, Matt was useful, useful to fulfill my goals whereas you were just another geek chasing your diploma and pathetic dreams."

„So is that what Matt was to you, means to an end?"

„As a matter of fact he was, I used him to get to his old man, who could provide me access to his line of work."

„Matt's dad was a scientist, what would you want with a scientist like him?"

„Bah that's a long story, let's just say I used everyone and everything just to get to where I am now. The military came and offered to help us, unbeknownst we were going to be rounded up and exterminated through means of deception. When I learnt what the military's true intentions were, I had to act and I did by bypassing their security and making the right connections to those who could provide me with the weapons and technology needed to build my empire. Don't you understand Mikhail? If you want to be a modern day conquer, you have to be better than everyone else. You must trust no one and love no one. The only one I ever loved is someone you took from me, my sister."

„Cleo?" I said aloud, hot sharp needles penetrated my heart.

„You remember her name, well Mikhail I'm touched you remember her name. However, it doesn't change anything between us because of what you did to her."

„Cleo wanted to date me, but I turned her down," I recollected, trying to make it sound less severe of what really happened between us.

„You did more than turn her down, you broke her heart."

Knowing what Marc Antony said was true, my guilt got more intense and I claimed, „I know she got upset when I refused to kiss her, but I didn't mean to make her cry."

„Cry hm, well you sure made her do that. In fact she told me all about it, she kept talking about you and how good you were to her. As much as I hated to admit it, I was close to approving the idea of you dating her. In fact she was just like you, a (coughs) nerd, I thought you would be perfect for each other; but I was wrong. She told me how you teased her and flirted with her, you played her like a violin (thought he was going to pun by mentioning the flute, which she played)."

„Nyet it was not like that, I was only trying to be nice to her, nice as I could ever be."

„That's not what I heard from her, I don't think misleading her was very nice."

„Well she's wrong, I didn't mislead her. She got the wrong idea."

„You better not be calling my sister a liar. One thing she never did was tell a lie. If she ate a cookie out of the cookie jar without asking, she would tell the truth and accept her punishment."

„I'm calling no one a liar, she just got angry."

„Angry, well I'm angry too, angry what happened as a result of you breaking her heart." The hole I felt in my chest was getting bigger as I would find out what really happened to Cleo. „You or hardly anyone knows this, but on the day school got called off early because of the outbreak, Cleo committed suicide." My mouth dropped and the hole in my chest got wider, it really felt like my heart was physically being torn in two. „Yeah give me that look of guilt which I know you should be feeling. If that's not worse, I had to watch her come back to life. And if that's not worse, I saw her getting put down by one of the National Guard. When I looked into her eyes, I knew she was dead and she wasn't the same person, but nonetheless she was still my sister. She was a hollow shell of her former self, possessed by a hungry demon whose only purpose is to feast off of flesh."

The more details Marc Antony divulged about the tragic passing away of his sister made me feel really bad about myself, my next words to him were genuine, I hoped he would accept my apology and sincerity. „Look I'm sorry about what happened to Cleo, believe me I didn't want this to happen to her."

„Sorry, well you haven't begun to know or say that you are sorry if you were to hear what happened after she was put down. She was treated just like the others who turned. Put down, just thrown into a pile and burned. Don't you understand what it's like to see the only other person you loved shot and killed by someone who got a kick out of doing it, watching her thrown onto a pile like she was garbage and burned?" I have to admit that by hearing how the National Guard reveled in killing walkers and showing lack of respect for the dead, induced my hatred for them, probably more than Marc Antony. „No of course you wouldn't. No one cared afterwards, no funeral or any sign of respect, not even from school did they announce her death and had so much as a moment of silence. So you see Mikhail, I have nothing but contempt and disgust for the misery and pain you have caused me. Only your death can satisfy me, only your death can honor my sister's death. I will kill you Mikhail and I will never stop. So if you're going to kill me, you better do it now."

Still having my gun pointed at Marc Antony's face, I hesitated about pulling the trigger because I was cerebrating and processing in my mind with what Marc Antony told me. His sister's tragic death and knowing how her remains were defiled caused me to have second thoughts about killing him. That would turn out to be a mistake as I saw Marc Antony's eyes roll up and I noticed he was looking at someone behind me on top of one of the crates. I took this as a sign that he wasn't bluffing and one of his henchmen snuck up behind me. I spun my body around and jumped backwards, only to find a henchmen on top of one of the crates with a weapon aimed at me. Before he could shoot, a shot which sounded like it came from the same sniper rifle, the one that shot Marc Antony. He fell on the floor like a broken limp doll. Marc Antony took the opportunity to escape and shelter himself behind the next crate. I knew he was armed because he tried to shoot me and he missed, mainly because he was using his other hand to fire his pistol.

My walkie-talkie beeped and I received a call from Alicia, „Mikhail are you alright?"

„Da I'm okay. Was it you who shot him?"

„Yeah, pretty good wasn't it?"

Alicia glorifying in what I assumed her second kill did take me aback, but I knew that it would be inevitable that Alicia would have to kill to stay alive.

„Da, you did good." Realizing the sound of the sniper round resembled the same Marc Antony was hit with, I begun to ask, „Were you the one who shot Marc Antony?"

„Yeah it was me, nearly took his arm. He's not going to be using that arm for a long time."

„You did good babe, I'm proud of you," having said that, I realized I flirted with Alicia, even when it was at an appropriate time.

„Dumbass, focus on the mission," said Alicia drolly.

„Sorry, talk to you later," I was almost compelled to tell Alicia I loved her, but now wasn't the time.

„So Mikhail, it was your bitch that shot me," agonized Marc Antony.

„You better watch your words Marc Antony, they might be your last."

„Your next move might be your last, better watch yourself for what I've got in store for you," laughed Marc Antony. „You have two options: you can one, save Ofelia. Two, you can rescue the ranchers and Indians who I've locked in the crates. You better hurry up and decide, because I've rigged the crates to unleash a new strain of walker. Not only that but others who aren't infected with the new strain are to be its first victims. As for Ofelia, well she'll also be a cute little snack for the new strain who I've deployed in the pantry. So what will it be Mikhail, sacrifice the one to save the many or save the one you care for and sacrifice the rest who you probably don't know or care for. Whose your loyalty with, Daniel, Ofelia's daddy or Walker? Better get a move on Mikhail, not enough time to decide or save everyone. Now if you will excuse me Mikhail, I have a flight to catch."

Marc Antony's voice ceased and I was left in a maze of large intimidating crates, aware of what was in them, but fearful knowing it wasn't going to be pretty. From behind me approached Walker and two of his companions. Walker asked, „What happened, where's Marc Antony?"

„No time Walker, we got to get these crates open now. There's people inside, including yours."

I left Walker and hurried to the pantry where Ofelia was. „Where are you going Mikhail?" shouted Walker.

„To save Ofelia, you got to hurry and save everyone else," I warned, before disappearing out of the maze and running as fast as I could to the location of the pantry, which I still vaguely remembered its location.

On the way I ran into a couple of obstacles which were two of Marc Antony's men. One I encountered who luckily had his back to me. I launched myself off a truck he was standing next just to amplify my vicious and surprising blow, which knocked him out. Of course I could have killed him, but I didn't want to, got to control myself and not get inflicted with bloodlust.

After I took him out, I sensed another enemy beside me who I was about to put down, but he was pelted with bullets behind and fell to the ground revealing Troy armed with an assault rifle. Troy smiled at me causticly and said, „What would you do without me?"

Without saying much, I thanked Troy and asked him to help the people locked in the crates, which I assume he did or was going to before I continued my race to the pantry.

* * *

I reached the pantry entrance and frantically opened the doors then armed myself with the RMB-93 12-gauge shotgun, thought I'd give it a try.

The farther I descended down the stairs and into the pantry the gunfire that could be heard outside faded and I could give my ears a rest. Being in the pantry again I remembered there being so many supplies on the shelving units, but it has diminished ever since. I'm guessing ever since Marc Antony has taken over the ranch he helped himself to whatever he could to supply himself and his troops.

After searching the pantry, I found myself in an open space near a cage where I could see who I was expecting, it was Ofelia. She was strung up with her wrists bonded with a blindfold around her eyes. What was most shocking was she was topless and it evinced the possibility that she was sexually assaulted. Her skin was wet, probably sprayed with a hose as a means of torturing her. I could see other signs she was tortured, she had light cuts and bruises on her brown skin, even bruises next to her small humble breasts. Whatever Marc Antony or one or some of his men did to her infuriated me. It only abated my anger to think how much they were going to pay for what they did to my friend.

Before I could approach Ofelia to comfort her and release her, I noticed something horrific directly ahead of Ofelia. It was three bodies just slumped against the wall and sitting down. Their eyes were closed and they had a collar and chain on their neck. On the collar was a blinking red light. Their faces were the real apprehension that twisted my stomach. Each one was shaved bald and their skin was grey. They were wearing an identical type of suit, which resembled high tech body armor, sort of like the one Marc Antony's men wore, but more light and skimpy. It looked bionic, they resembled like something out of a sci-fi film, kind of like cyborgs.

I assumed this was part of the mission, to take a picture of these monstrosities. I got out my camera and took a quick shot of the three sleeping cyborg like creatures. Once I had the shot, I decided to untie Ofelia.

Before I could touch her blindfold I could sense she was nervous. „STAY AWAY FROM ME, STAY AWAY FROM ME," yelled Ofelia, thrashing and left up her knees trying to kick me.

„Ofelia it's okay it's me," I assuaged.

Ofelia stopped thrashing and allowed me to remove her blindfold, which I did slowly and gently. She blinked sporadically, trying to adjust her eyes to the light. She looked at me and whispered my name in alleviation, „Mikhail."

„It's okay Ofelia, I'm going to get you down now."

I wrapped one arm around Ofelia to support her as I cut the rope holding her up. I lowered Ofelia and sat her on the floor and cut the bond bounding her hands together. Once her hands were free, Ofelia threw her arms around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder.

„Mikhail, I knew you'd come to save me," whispered Ofelia lovingly, holding me tightly.

„Ofelia, I was so worried about you."

Ofelia loosened her grip around my neck and looked into my eyes with her forehead touching mine. She was crying, obviously having experienced psychological and physical torture. Her crying ceased and she looked into my eyes, resuming the same look she gave me when it was clear she wanted to kiss me. Whether I wanted one or not, I thought I was going to get a hero's kiss, but I knew in my heart I wanted my first kiss to be reserved for Alicia.

Before a love scene could happen between Ofelia and I, there was a beeping noise and the blinking red light on the collar of the cyborgs turned green. The collar automatically came apart and fell off their necks. Their eyes instantly opened and simultaneously they slowly rose on their feet as if they were recovering from an injury. Once they were on their feet they spasmed into a pose with out stretched arms and open hands resembling claws. Like any walker they opened their mouths and gurgled their savage ravenous desire for human flesh. Their eyes were aimed at me and I knew I was the first course on the menu.

„Ofelia, stand back," I ordered, holding out my arm to block Ofelia from intervening.

The cyborg in the middle charged at me, it shocked me to see a walker run for the first time. I push kicked the cyborg-walker (thought I'd call them that) charging at me and he staggered back as the other two begun to attack me simultaneously. I jumped and spun in the air and kicked both in the face with each foot.

All three cyborg-walkers having sustained a hit, I could see they had the same reaction, unable to feel any pain. The only difference was they were more sturdy and agile, it was quite clear this new strain of walkers would prove a deadly adversary for me and my comrades. I just hoped Walker and his men weren't dealing with these back outside, because I can imagine the carnage these things would cause.

Rather than waste bullets on these freaks, I pulled out my MPL-50, my short handled spade. I swung at the closest cyborg-walker with a horizontal swipe across his face. The cyborg-walker halted and froze stiff, he fell to his knees and the plummeted to the floor with the top of his head falling off in one clean slice. With one down and two to go, I focused on the other two getting ready to attack.

One other thing these cyborg-walkers proved was how more intelligent they were compared to the average walker. The other two circled me and tried to outflank me. I remember elbowing one in the jaw and his jaw snapped sideways, but he was able to relocate it back in place as if his jaw was made out of rubber. I would learn how deadly their intelligence would be after I struck one in the face with my spade and I would attempt to slice the other cyborg-walker's face. This one would nimbly dodge the blow, grab my arm and attempt to bite into it. Just before his teeth could bite into my flesh, Ofelia crept behind and plunged a long knife into its skull. The cyborg-walker's eyes rolled into the air and its mouth hung open. It dropped to the floor dead and I looked at Ofelia standing half naked with a bloodied knife in her hand.

„Ofelia, I told you to stay back," I scolded, worried the danger Ofelia had put herself in.

„I'm not going to let you die Mikhail, I want to help you," asserted Ofelia.

Before I could say anything, I saw the last cyborg-walker grab Ofelia and hurl her across the other room.

„OFELIA," I cried. I charged at the cyborg-walker, only to be caught in its grasp and be violently thrown into a shelving unit. The impact and shock temporarily paralyzed me, I had to roll onto my belly and arch my back just to readjust my seemingly dislocated spine.

„MIKHAIL… HELP," shouted Ofelia, sounding like she was in danger.

I ran towards her and saw she was pinned to the ground by the last remaining cyborg-walker. He was clearly trying to bite her and I knew I had to hurry if I wanted to save Ofelia, because I knew one bite would already mean inevitable death. With my hand squeezed tightly around the handle of my spade, I delivered a vertical blow down of the cyborg-walker's head. The head split in two and flopped to the side revealing a traumatized, blood soaked Ofelia panting.

„Ofelia are you okay? Are you bit?" I asked, worrying about whether Ofelia has been bitten as I checked her neck and shoulders for bite marks.

„I'm okay Mikahil," responded Ofelia, breathing a sign of relief. Her face turned maudlin and she looked at my arm, the one which was almost subjected to a walker bite. „Mikhail are you hurt? Is your arm okay?" Ofelia was looking at my arm, gluing her eyes on skin that anyone could notice after a short glance wasn't broken.

„Ofelia my arm is okay, seriously stop worrying. I'm okay." I gently stroked Ofelia's arms until I got near her elbows where she was obviously hurt and had suffered friction burns and a few grazes.

„Ow," reacted Ofelia.

„I'm sorry Ofelia, I didn't realize you were hurt."

Ofelia placed her hands on my face and looked at me with tears in her eyes. „No Mikhail, I'm okay. Oh Mikhail if you got bit," Ofelia sunk her head, closed her eyes and cried, „Oh Mikhail if anything happened to you I would… I don't think."

Feeling sorry for Ofelia and not wanting to see her like this, I assuaged, „Ofelia." I wiped her tears from her eyes with my thumbs and placed my hands on her hips (making sure I didn't accidentally touch her breasts). „It's going to be okay, I promise," I coaxed, looking directly into Ofelia's eyes.

Ofelia pressed her forehead against mine and whispered passionately, „Mikhail, you have no idea how much I suffered. I was tortured and that thinking about you was what kept me going."

These loving and sweet words from Ofelia anesthetized my entire body, I could not move at all. All I could do was respond to Ofelia with more words of comfort, „Ofelia that's very sweet of you. Thinking about you was what kept me going and want to live again. I was so worried for you. I was worried that you were going to…"

Ofelia interrupted my words and pleaded, „No Mikhail, please not now. We are together again. Just please… let's just enjoy the moment."

Ofelia's nose was touching my nose and her mouth was slightly open. I could already feel her hot breath on my lips. It was the same closeness I experienced when Gretchen tried to kiss me, the only difference was, I just couldn't bring myself to push Ofelia away. This was it, I was about to have my first ever kiss and know what it was like to kiss lips. They weren't going to be Alicia's lips, they were going to be Ofelia's. I thought to myself, „Just do it Mikhail, just give Ofelia your first kiss. She isn't someone you love, but you do find her attractive and have an enormous compassion for, that must mean something." At the very crucial moment before just as I had butterflies in my stomach and felt my esophagus melting, a voice interrupted, jeopardizing what could have been my first kiss.

„Ofelia," toned a smooth voice.

Ofelia and I turned our heads to see that it was Daniel who'd come down into the pantry just to find his daughter in my arms and probably saw that we almost kissed.

„Papa," exclaimed Ofelia.

Daniel raced towards his daughter and took her in her arms.

„Oh baby I missed you so much, I was worried so much about you," cried Daniel tearfully, squeezing his body into Ofelia's.

„Papa, I thought you were dead," whimpered Ofelia.

„My angel, I thought you were dead too," replied Daniel, continuing to stroke Ofelia and kiss her on the forehead passionately.

I smiled at the spectacle seeing father and daughter reunite. I remember seeing a tear leak from Daniel's eye, I could tell how much he loved his daughter and that she really was the only light in his soul.

Daniel suddenly noticed that Ofelia's upper body was completely naked, he asked, „Ofelia what happened, did Mikhail…?"

„No papa, he didn't. He saved me, I was like this before he got here," confirmed Ofelia.

„It's true Daniel, she was stripped and tortured. I freed her and protected her," I declared, seeing Daniel believed my side of the story.

Daniel slipped off his jacket and put it on Ofelia, „Put this on Ofelia, we're going to get out of here. Just stay behind me and do as I say."

„I'm ready papa," obeyed Ofelia as both her and her father exchanged smiles.

„Lead the way Mikhail, we are right behind you," ordered Daniel, readying his weapon in his hand.

* * *

I lead Ofelia and Daniel out of the pantry and back out into the sun where the roaring and cracking of gunfire could be heard, it felt like the 4th of July where everyone decided to light the fireworks in the daytime. The first enemy I encountered was one of Marc Antony's mens stood on one of the crates. I shot him down with my shotgun and I took out another one of his men who shot at me, by rolling for cover and popping out to pump a powerful slug through his body armor. Ofelia and Daniel leaved most of the fighting to me as I knew Daniel was more committed to protecting his daughter, and for good reasons I understood.

If things couldn't get worse, I noticed a group of cyborg-walkers just taking down a small unit of Marc Antony's men. Even their weapons and armor wasn't enough to protect them from the strength and jaw power from the cyborg-walkers, which their own boss had created. Their limbs snapped and teeth were sunk into their necks, causing death by massive hemorrhage, having a big chunk of their neck bitten out.

The cyborg walkers (six of them) noticed me and roared at me with bloodied mouths and strips of flesh stuck in their teeth. They ran towards me and I stuck out my hand and ordered, „Leave them to me."

The first cyborg-walker pounced towards me and I used my foot to snap its neck back and he plummeted to the floor with a broken neck, completely paralyzed. The rest crowded me and I decided to deploy the use of my shotgun for close range attacks. Not only did I use it as a melee weapon, but also a shooting weapon to fend them off. Each move I made and I knew that if I made one wrong move it would be fatal, because I remembered one of them almost having bitten into my arm and one chucking me against the shelving unit. My strategy was to take them out as quick as possible, because I knew this was real life and not a Bruce Lee flick.

Each shot that has been fired, I would revert back on the defensive before loading another shell into the chamber and ready to fire. One cyborg-walker I killed using the shotgun as a flail and then shooting it point blank in the face with one hand. The rubber grip, shortened barrel and gas ventilation reduced the recoil, making the gun less painful to fire with one hand. I took out the last remaining cyborg-walker by shoving the barrel of my shotgun in its mouth and pulling the trigger, taking its head clean off.

Feeling safe or safer, I realized that it wasn't over. Ahead of me I saw another wave of cyborg-walkers advancing towards me.

„MIKHAIL, BEHIND YOU!" warned Daniel.

Behind me I saw the cyborg-walker whose neck I broke after being the first one to attack me. It appears he readjusted his broken neck. I almost forgot about him, which was why he succeeded in surprise attacking me. I grabbed his arms to keep him from biting me, but I knew I was slowly being pursued by another cyborg-walker unit who would surely finish me if I didn't come up with a more swift and slicker plan other than shotgun-fu.

„QUICK GIVE ME A GRENADE," I yelled to Daniel.

„Here you go," heeded Daniel, throwing me a grenade.

I kicked the cyborg-walker away from me and used the opportunity to grab the grenade the grenade Daniel tossed me. The cyborg-walker resumed attacking me with its gaping mouth and I shoved the grenade in its throat and pulled the pin. I grabbed him with both hands and used my strength to throw his entire body at the wave of cyborg-walkers advancing towards me. The cyborg-walker with the grenade in its mouth crashed into its comrades as some fell over. Subsequently as expected, the grenade did go off and the entire wave got caught in the blast radius, eliminating the threat they posed.

„Everything alright Mikhail," asked Daniel.

„Da everything alright," I responded, eyeing the cyborg-walker crawling on the ground towards me. His legs were blown off and his right arm was shredded from the grenade shrapnel. Dogged to crawl all the way towards me just gnaw at my leg, I remembered one of my mission objectives, I was to bring one of them in alive. I don't know it it meant they had to be intact, but just bring one in alive. I got out my mini rucksack, which I knew was an inflatable balloon. Without much problem getting the rucksack attached to the maimed cyborg-walker's back, I yanked the cord and the cyborg-walker levitated into the air. Daniel and Ofelia watched it as it slowly climbed into the air and then shot up into the sky like a rocket.

„What was that?" asked Ofelia.

„Just some new technology for transportation," I replied with a wink.

„Mikhail look out," warned Daniel.

I spun around and saw the last remaining cyborg-walker still intact and unaffected by the explosion. Before I had the chance to pop one in its head, his head exploded. I knew that neither Daniel or Ofelia shot it because they were behind me and Ofelia didn't have a gun on her. I estimated where the shot came from and saw in that direction stood the other survivor I hope to find, it was Travis.

„Hey Mikahil, better watch your back," remarked Travis, loading a shell into a Ruger Red Label 12 gauge double barrel shotgun he was armed with, „Can't protect you all the time." Travis loaded two shells in the shotgun and snapped the barrel back in place using one hand. I looked at Travis and was happy to see him again, but not so much as the current state he was in. Travis wasn't standing on his own two feet, he was sitting in a wheelchair. His face looked bruised and swollen and his left eye was ruptured. It was clear that Travis had taken a lot of beatings, he must have endured physical and psychological torture. The psychological damage was evident, because the light he used to have in his eyes wasn't there anymore, completely extinguished and expressing nothing but hate and bitterness.

„Travis, we got to get out of here. I need you to…" I tried to persuade Travis.

„You three get out of here, I got this," interrupted Travis.

„Okay, but I'll come back for you," I conceded.

„Don't bother," retorted Travis, turning his back to face me and ride away.

„Travis please, let us help you," pleaded Ofelia.

„I don't need anyone to help me," shunned Travis.

It seemed obvious that Travis was angry and full of hate, I didn't want to imagine the trauma he went through to become this way.

„Lets go Mikhail, we got to help the others," implored Daniel.

I realized that Daniel was right. By now Walker and his men must be encountering the cyborg-walkers and they would require my assistance.

* * *

We made haste to where the gunfire was coming from and I used the top of the crate as an observation post, doing my wall kick just to get up there, probably thinking I was trying to show off and impress Daniel and Ofelia. I could see prowling on the crate that Walker's men were coming under heavy fire and had taken cover behind immobile armor vehicles and other places where they can shield or avoid gunfire. Marc Antony's men were better equipped and their weapons were more advanced.

One thing I noticed was a helicopter preparing to take off with the blades beginning to rotate. I knew I had to hurry, not to only save Walker and his men, but also the prisoners and hopefully prevent Marc Antony's escape. I didn't see Marc Antony board the chopper, but I assumed it was his preferred method of escape.

Feeling bravado surging through my body, I gallantly ran into the open to join Walker and join the fight. While out in the open knowing I stand a 95% chance I will be shot, I opened fire while I was running. One thing I was trained to do was shoot while running and be able to hit my target in quick succession. I twirled my body round to face directions and to shoot any hostiles in sight, even switching shooting arms with a pistol in hand and managing to hit each target.

One of Marc Antony's men tried to outflank Walker and Troy, but I stopped him by putting a slug through his back, leaving a large gaping hole. „What would you do without me?" I wisecracked, looking at Troy surprised yet demeaned face, knowing he was snuck up on. „So Walker what's the situation?" I asked Walker, who seemed happy to see me. Seeing me renewed his confidence for victory and was reinvigorated with new energy.

Out of nowhere there was the thundering rapid sound of gunfire, sounded like it was a 50 calibre automatic weapon. I saw that it came from a Jeep, which drove in a straight line. If that wasn't worse, there were two jeeps with mounted 50 calibre machine guns firing at us. The volley ripped through Walker's men and turned them into mincemeat.

„Lee, can you land a shot at the jeeps?" asked Walker.

„I can see them, but I find it hard to hit them. They move so fast," responded Lee.

„Damn it," cursed Walker, „We need to take those jeeps out, otherwise we will all die."

I shared Walker's skepticism and he was right, it was obvious that if something wasn't done about those jeeps, the battle would be lost.

I watched and studied the pattern the jeeps made, they moved to the other end of the compound and then drove back to repeat the pattern by firing a volley. I had a plan in mind, I just needed the right timing to put my daring plan into action. Waiting for the jeeps to almost align and cease firing (know this might risk hitting one another). I rolled out into the open, took aim with my AK and fired a shot through the driver's window. The bullet penetrated through the window and the jeep swerved sideways and collided with the other jeep, putting both jeeps out of action.

Behind me I saw Troy armed with a M72 LAW rocket launcher, it looked like he was about to use it.

„Party pooper," sneered Troy, robbing him of the chance to take out the jeeps with the LAW.

Unexpectedly a loud mechanical noise erupted in the distance. A long metallic object rose up and it didn't take long to identify it was a rocket, the same one I remembered Marc Antony threatening me with. It was a nuclear missile and it was Marc Antony's backup plan all along.

„It's a nuclear missile, and it's about to launch," I affirmed, looking Walker directly in the eyes and trying to warn him, „You got to get your people out here fast or we will all die."

„EVERYBODY MOVE OUT," commanded Walker.

Every survivor of Walker's unit begun to withdraw and take the surviving hostages that were able to be rescued. I found myself in the stampede of survivors running towards the exit and on my way I came across someone I did not expect to see, and was sure was not happy to see me again, it was Jake.

„Jake," I uttered looking at Jake's battered and bruised body. His left eye was swollen and his right eye had a red ring around it. His lips were also swollen and he limped when he ran. It was quite clear that he disagreed to assist Marc Antony's appalling and disgustingly inhumane plan. I was convinced that he did not conspire with Marc Antony and was trying to stop him from experimenting on residents of the ranch, but failed.

Jake and I both heard a gunshot coming from what I perceived to be Alicia's sniper rifle. It was followed by a loud resonating gunshot and my walkie talkie started beeping and I answered the incoming call from Alicia, „Mikhail please help me, the sniper has just spotted us."

„Alicia calm down, where is he?" I asked Alicia, becoming grievously concerned for the danger Alicia was in.

„In the east, he's nesting on the balcony of Jeremiah's house. Please hurry Mikhail, I'm scared."

„Take it easy baby, just stay calm and if you can take a shot at him. I'll be there right now."

„GO," I ordered Jake.

Jake raised a smile on his face and said something that brought back a flashback when I woke up from a coma and found the photo with writing behind, „Save her." Jake ran towards the exit while I ran as quick as I could to get the location using the map I still had stored in my head.

Arriving at the house, I saw the balcony where the sniper was posted. I saw a bullet hit the balcony which splintered the wooden banister. This would be enough to scare the sniper and delay his shot. Just what I expected he changed position and aimed his rifle trying to locate his target. Not wasting a single second now that he was in my sights, I took my spade in my hand and threw it in his neck. The sniper reacted to the jab of metal in his neck, twirled and fell off the balcony with his rifle tumbling with him.

I was relieved to know that Alicia was safe, but just to be sure, I radioed Alicia, „Alicia are you okay?"

„Yeah I'm fine, thank you Mikhail. I owe you one."

This made me smile thinking how I can get Alicia to pay me back, but now wasn't the time to start arranging a date.

„Mikhail are you there?" beeped Lee on the radio.

„Da I'm here."

„The chopper is getting away, I tried shooting at it but the rounds aren't strong enough."

I looked into the far distance and saw the helicopter was now airborne and was flying away. It was obvious those jeeps were a distraction to guarantee Marc Antony would have a clean getaway. I was determined to stop him, but how? I looked at the sniper I killed and saw he was carrying a Barret M82. The cartridge was 50 calibre and its range was up to 1,800 meters, it was perfect to foil Marc Antony's escape plan and bring him down once and for all.

„Sit tight Lee, I'll take out the chopper," I assured Lee, grabbing the Barret M82.

I raised the rifle, pressed the stock deep into my shoulder and rested my cheek near the receiver with one eye looking through the scope. Keep the rifle steady, you might get one shot at this, otherwise the chopper goes out of range and escapes. I aligned the crosshairs, took a deep breath, held it in, squeezed the trigger and prepared to feel the rifle's intimidating recoil. The stock of the rifle struck me hard in the shoulder and the helicopter exploded into a big fireball and fell slowly to the ground.

I smiled and said to myself, „See you in hell Marc Antony."

„You did it Mikhail, I knew you'd do it," praised Lee.

„Mikhail, I see Travis. He's north west from your position next to the crates. He's cornered by walkers. Mikhail hurry, you got to save him," cried Alicia.

„I'm on my way. Shoot any walkers you can and guide me on the way," I instructed as I darted back to the crates hoping to save Travis.

Alicia gave me directions over the radio to guide me through the maze of crates and warned me of any walkers I would encounter on the way. After a grueling search, I found Travis surrounded by walkers fending them off with his shotgun. Eventually he ran out of ammo and was about to be gnawed to death by three walkers surrounding him. With one swoop of my spade I took out the three walkers from behind by taking the tops of their heads.

„Travis, fancy seeing you here," I quipped while watching Travis load shells into his shotgun while still wearing his scornful and bitter face.

„Hello Mikhail," greeted Travis apathetically, loading his shotgun ready to fire at the wave of walkers.

„Travis, we haven't got much time we got to get out of here," I pleaded to Travis, but before he could respond we were forced to open fire at the walkers nearing us.

In the midst of firing cartridge after cartridge and taking out each walker, an unexpected sound emitted. It was a hissing sound followed by an earsplitting roaring sound. Travis and I looked in the direction it was coming from and we saw a long object shoot in the sky with belching fire underneath. It was the missile, the nuclear missile that was about to launch. I had to hurry and get out of here with Travis before him and I would fall victim to the horrendous mushroom cloud.

„Travis come on let's got, we got to get out of here," I yelled.

„No Mikhail, you go. I'm staying here," refused Travis.

„Travis don't be silly, we'll be killed. I'm not leaving you behind."

Travis turned his gun on me and threatened, „Just go, I mean it. Don't make me shoot you."

It was obvious I was not going to reason and convince Travis to leave with me. Knowing his shotgun had a round in it and he looked like he would definitely pull the trigger. The missile would redirect in the sky and aim directly at the base, had to act now before the missile descends on the base and kills both of us.

I kicked the shotgun with an outside to inside crescent kick. This caught Travis by surprise and loosen his finger round the trigger and granted me the chance to do what I had to do. I leapt forwards and performed a cross chokehold on Travis. He did try to resist and shake me off, but I whispered to him, „Please Travis, don't fight it. We're getting out of here."

My grip was so tight it cut the blood rushing to Travis' head and he begun to lower his angry face and close his eyes. He was passed out and I was free to lift him out of the wheelchair and carry him out of here, knowing that time was short.

I ran with Travis on my back, knowing I would not be able to run that fast. It wouldn't be long before the nuke comes crashing down and we both get vaporized by its blast. There was the dreaded thought that I might not see Alicia again. If she doesn't see me again and both Travis and I would both be killed, I wanted Alicia to know that I want her to go on and be happy. As much as I didn't want to die without getting to tell Alicia that I love her more than I know and not kiss her lips, I had to accept however fate would turn out for me. Right now I didn't want to think about it too much, I wanted to think how much I wanted to live and how much I want to see Alicia again. I can do it, I can escape the nuke's blast radius. I maybe an ordinary man, but I can do it, it was what I was trained to do. I was trained to fight and survive against impossible odds and that was what I was going to show that I am more than a man.

I was able to carry Travis out of the ranch, having to shoot walkers at the same time just to make space. However I knew that the moment had come, the missile was descending from the sky and sooner than later it would hit the ground and destroy everything the ranch once was, it would become nothing but a crater and a memory.

I did hear an explosion from behind me and the heat from the explosion burnt my back. Still determined to live and escape death, I continued to run to where I could see my comrades waiting for me. I was getting tired and breath was getting shorter, it wouldn't be long until I pass out. Come on I can do it, I've saved Travis and myself. I am going to see Alicia again and tell her. Her and I are going to be together, I know it. You got to live Mikhail, you have to live for her, you need to take care of her. I'm not going to die, I'm not going to die, I'm going to live. Death will not take me, death will not take me. I am alive and I'm happy to be alive.

* * *

„Mikhail come on, open your eyes," toned a voice in pitch darkness. I opened my eyes and everything was blurry. I saw a figure, a female figure with dark hair and brown skin, it was Ofelia. „Mikhail, can you hear me?" asked Ofelia. My hearing was damaged and my ears were ringing, but my vision became clear and I could see Ofelia's face look at me. Her hands were on my face and I could see her smile and cry with elation.

„Da I can hear you."

„Ofelia, let me talk to him," demanded Alicia, stepping into my field of vision. „Mikhail are you okay?"

The ringing in my ears stopped and my hearing recovered as I answered, „Da, I'm alright." I let Ofelia and Alicia help me sit up and I could feel my head pounding and throbbing. „Ah my head, what happened?"

„You collapsed while carrying Travis here," revealed Alicia.

„I did it, I saved Travis," I smiled, looking at the Ranch, I would expect to find a crater. To my surprise there was no crater, just a heap of burning rubble and black smoke traveling in the sky. Was the missile really nuclear? Because I know from learning about the Hiroshima bomb that no human could outrun a nuclear blast. What happened and why was there no nuclear explosion? At that very moment, I didn't want to mull over why the explosion didn't go nuclear. All I cared about that I was alive and everyone I knew and cared for was safe.

* * *

I was relaxing and getting medical attention from Ofelia on my back while Alicia agreed to let Jake have a private word with her. Before then Jake approached me after I decided to have a cigarette to celebrate a mission accomplished.

„Need a light?" asked Jake in his friendly tone like how he used to talk to me.

This was after Jake saw me struggle to get my lighter to work (probably empty of lighter fuel). I knew I had matches and was about to use them, but for Jake, I decided to let him light my cigarette for me. This was a friendly gesture and a reminder of our former friendship. „Da Jake, I do," I replied.

Jake took out his lighter and gave me a bright yellow light for my cigarette. Inhaling the smoke and breathing it out, I forgot how good it felt to have a cigarette after waking up from a coma.

„I wasn't scared Mikhail, really. I knew you'd come back alive," said Ofelia.

„Really?" I took a drag and exhaled.

„Yeah, I knew you'd make it. You're a super hero like Rambo or James Bond if I may," joked Ofelia.

„Ofelia you really are funny. I may have survived and kicked ass, but I'm no superhero."

„Oh Mikhail you kidder," laughed Ofelia slapping me hard on the back where I was lightly burnt, I really felt the pain.

„Ow."

„Mikhail I'm sorry," apologized Ofelia, then I found something soft against my back and a sound which confirmed Ofelia kissed the exact spot she slapped. „Sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

„Nyet Ofelia, it was nice," I demurred. I had to admit, Ofelia did have soft lips. Not as stimulating as Alicia's when she kissed me on the cheek, but still it felt nice and numbed the pain.

„Did you tell Alicia how you feel?"

„Nyet not yet, I'm going to as soon as we get back home."

„Mikhail don't do it after the long journey back home. You'll both be really tired, get a good night sleep and plan to do something the next day."

„What did you have in mind?"

„Maybe a picnic or even just a walk, but make sure it's a beautiful spot. It needs to be romantic and fitting to get in the mood. There was a pause before Ofelia suggested, „Tell you what Mikhail, why don't I draw a plan on your back?"

„Why not?" I giggled.

Ofelia squirted something into her hand, I guessed it was ointment, which she smeared into my back in circular motion. Once she stopped smearing ointment, she begun to draw on my back and propose her date plan, „Tomorrow is going to be a bright new day with a bright happy sun in the sky (Ofelia draws a sun on my back). You are going to talk to Alicia (draws a stick figure of Alicia, even a skirt to indicate it's a female) and ask her if she would like to go on a walk. She says „yes", if not now then a little later. You both agree on a time and you meet up and you both go on a walk together (draws a stick figure of me near the stick figure of Alicia). You both talk casually about nice positive things, even share some funny memories together. Of course you're both going to be sitting down when you tell Alicia. Let me think where could you both sit where it will be romantic?'

„There's a river near where we live."

„Right a river. Okay, both you and Alicia will sit by a river (draws a river on my back). This is the crucial moment and where you might want the conversation to be romantic. Talk about how beautiful the scenery Looks, make the mood more romantic. Make eye contact and when there's nothing to talk about, tell Alicia that you've always loved her. See how she reacts, if she says she loves you back, you two kiss and the romance begins (draws a heart)."

„Then what?" I asked, taking one last drag of my cigarette and tossing the butt away.

„Well that's up for you two to decide," said Ofelia, rubbing the drawings she did on my back out to rub the ointment deep in my skin.

„Oh zdorovo, now I'll never get to see what you drew on my back," I whined, turning around to find my face close to Ofelia's. This weird moment brought back the nostalgia when Ofelia treated my arm back at the hotel where I first met her, and when we almost kissed.

Ofelia riveted into my eyes and looked mesmerized, even smiling and parting her lips. My lips were almost parted and I had butterflies in my stomach, feeling tempted to kiss Ofelia.

Ofelia broke the moment by putting her fingers on my lips and whispering, „No Mikhail, that kiss is for Alicia."

Ofelia was right, that kiss was meant for Alicia. I know I was attracted to Ofelia, but Alicia was the one I love and I would be doing the right thing by saving my first kiss for her.

When everybody was about to move out I would hear from Lee's search party who volunteered to check the helicopter crash site. Lee confirmed that no bodies or any traces of human remains were found in the wreckage. This rumor did haunt me but I allayed that fear with the assumption that Marc Antony did die in the crash and he's nothing but ashes that got scattered in the wind, not that I knew much about how long it takes a body to burn and turn into ash.

I would watch Alicia having her last conversation with Jake. Although I could not hear what they were saying. I could read their body language on what the conversation was about. I knew it was going to be a parting on good Terms, as I saw Jake smile and nod his head. They both agreed to hug as a final good well gesture of farewell.

Then out of nowhere, Troy slapped me on the back (it really hurt) and said his last words to me, which didn't sound at all sincere „Take care Mik-Kyle it was nice knowing you."

As I watched Troy walk to join his brother Jake, I saw Jake look at me. He didn't attempt to approach me and I didn't have any desire to approach him. We endowed each other with a gentle smile and walked away, never to each other again. It is possible that our friendship would never be the same again, but at least we rekindled our respect for one another.

„Ready to go back home Mikhail?" asked Alicia with a smile after a light punch in the arm.

„Da," I answered blithely.

Walker and his last surviving members of his tribe decided to crash round the cabin and the campsite nearby for the night. Mainly so they can rejoin with the tribe members who didn't take part in the fighting and leave the next day. A few ranchers joined us to be reunited with other ranchers who sought refuge at the campsite. Other surviving ranchers formed their own parties and just went their own way.

* * *

Returning back to the cabin and the campsite, I could see there were people waiting for us. I could see Madison and Nick standing together as Alicia and I walked towards them. As soon as Madison and Nick recognized Alicia, they paced towards her and both hugged her lovingly and longingly, relieved that she survived. I could hear Madison's heartfelt words whisper into Alicia's ears.

Madison of course would hug me with equal fervor and relief that I survived. It was like I was hugging my mother, which I so wanted to call Madison by.

Mina would of course see me and wrap her little arms around my neck and squeak her words of relief and love into my ear. I knew that now that I'm alive and have returned, I owe her more history lessons and teach her my language.

Madison was elated to see that Travis was alive, as he was carried out of one of the vehicles underarm. Travis looked catatonic and didn't respond when Madison tried to communicate with him, even when Madison kissed him his facial expression remained the same, morose and empty.

* * *

Later on that night when nearly everyone was asleep, I found it hard to sleep because of what I went through that day. Seeing people die, Ofelia being a subject of torture, the cyborg-walkers and having to kill for what I considered a good cause. I dulled the pain with a cigarette and sat on the porch outside. So far I was enjoying my solitude, until I was approached by one guy who I didn't expect was still awake.

„Hola Mikhail, you don't mind if I join you do you?" asked Daniel, approaching me from behind.

„Nyet, not at all," I responded. I took out my cigarettes and held them out for Daniel, „Do you smoke Daniel?"

„No I don't."

„You don't mind if I smoke do you?"

„No not at all." Daniel sat on the swing bench next to me, cleared his throat before mustering the courage to say what he had to say to me, „Ofelia told me about everything."

„Really, what about?"

„That you saved her from a group of rapists."

Remembering the day I first met Ofelia and saved her life like a true hero, I further humored Daniel, „Well I did it because I don't want to see any woman getting raped. She helped me and I helped her. We got to know each other well and we had a lot of fun together."

„I know, Ofelia talks a lot about you."

„Look about what you saw, it's not what you think. Ofelia and I are just friends."

„Mikhail, I know you love Alicia, but I have to admit I'm disappointed to know the fact that you don't want to come with us. I was hoping you'd come with us and be Ofelia's husband."

Daniel's dream of what he would have wanted, reminded me when Vernon Trimbol offered me to come and become Gretchen's husband. How I still remember Gretchen and hope she's okay and is doing fine with her Family. Hopefully she has found love by now. Without hurting Daniel's feelings I tried to only talk positively about Ofelia and that I really do want the best for her.

„Listen, Ofelia is a very beautiful and charming lady, but it's Alicia I truly love. I really do want what is best for Ofelia, believe me I do. I just hope you can understand that."

„I understand, I want what is best for her too. She needs a man and I want grandchildren, I miss the days when Ofelia was just a tiny little thing with bright eyes, just like her mother's."

„I understand Daniel. Ofelia must have been more than just a daughter to you."

„Just a daughter? Ofelia was more than that, she was a chance, a chance to make a difference. My late wife Griselda and I fought and killed just in the name of what we thought was right, we killed and ruined people's lives involuntarily. Bringing Ofelia into the world was our redemption. What we were coerced into we would not allow Ofelia to follow the same misfortune. Now all this has happened, I see my girl has had to kill to stay alive, even withstand torture."

I could see Daniel was getting emotional the more he talked about it. It was true we were all victims of an apocalypse that shattered our dreams and hopes for a brighter future. Regardless of what we've suffered and what loss we've had, it wasn't too late to make a better future for ourselves.

„At least Ofelia had a wonderful childhood. Now she is now a grown lady who I know can bring another child into the world. You can always start all over again. The fact Ofelia is alive and she's reunited with her father is what we should be happy about."

„You're right Mikhail, I'm always going to look on the bright side of life, no Monty Python reference intended (Daniel raised a smile on his face). Not only by saving Ofelia did you save another life, but also another man's life, mine. I know the concept of life and death. We all have to die someday, but theoretically a life is determined by our will to live. When Griselda died, a part of me died and Ofelia is a part of me that still lives. Without Ofelia, I know I'm dead. Sure I still breath and walk, but I would be merely just a hollow shell, walking the earth. Feeling lost and completely empty. If you ask me, that is a fate worse than death."

Hearing Daniel's theory of life and death reflected on what my life was like when I spent my last high school year wallowing in pain and loneliness, pining for Alicia and feeling hopeless and wanting my suffering to end by resorting to suicide.

„I can relate Daniel, one time I thought I lost everything, but now I haven't. I've found hope in my life and a future."

„I know, Alicia must be the one you're referring to."

„Da," I smiled feeling optimistic about tomorrow.

„You know, everyone needs love in their life. Love is what makes us feel truly alive and inspires us in many ways. With Griselda and Ofelia, I had a purpose and an incentive to provide for them and never give up on hope. This is something you must do for Alicia if you are ever to be together. The happiness, which I had with Griselda you hopefully get to have with Alicia. Like me, be positive, optimistic and supportive for that a loving husband is to do for his wife and family."

„You are right Daniel. I am going to tell Alicia tomorrow, I'm going to tell her how I feel and prove to her that I love her."

„Very good Mikhail. Now get some sleep, I want to see you so we can say goodbye before we leave," Daniel slapped my leg, got off and went back into the house. I was left to gawk at the pale moon and not think about today but think about tomorrow.

* * *

Tomorrow has come at last, where the sun was shining and warming up the day. The perfect start where everyone who was leaving was already packed and ready to go. There were a handful of ranchers, especially Mina and her mother who decided to stay.

As for Walker and his followers who survived, they were leaving. He told me he was done at the ranch and was hoping to find more of his people up north. I understood Walker's noble decision to reunite with his people and rebuild his society. Walker and I took hands and bade each other farewell and good luck.

„Goodbye Walker, I wish you all the luck in the world and that you find your people."

„Do svidaniya Mikhail, good luck with Alicia. You have thought bravely and courageously. You deserve rest."

Walker and I exchanged smiles before we parted and never saw each other again, but we knew that we would always be there for one another in spirit.

I saw Ofelia and Daniel next to a truck where I saw they were loading the back with supplies for the journey back to the dam, where they had found their new home. Ofelia noticing I was there watching her and Daniel approached me ready to have one last talk with me.

„So are you all ready to go to your new home?" I asked Ofelia.

„Well kind of. Can't say living at the dam is very luxury, but at least I'll never go thirsty," said Ofelia, lacking signs of positivity but laughed after her witty remark as I did too.

„Well I guess all I can say is good luck and I hope you and your father make it back safely," I bade.

Ofelia placed a hand on my face and looked into my eyes radiantly and enamor. It looked like she was really going to do it, she was going to kiss me. She did kiss me but on the cheek longly and passionately, this was the second time I felt Ofelia's lips on me. She pulled herself away and hugged me one last time and whispered, „Goodbye Mikhail, I'll miss you."

„I'll miss you too Ofelia," I hugged her back, knowing this might be the last time I would see Ofelia.

Daniel then approached me, grabbed me and kissed me on the other cheek and said, „Do svidaniya Mikhail and good luck." Daniel then looked over my shoulder and I turned to see Alicia was standing behind me. I looked at Daniel who then said to me, „Le gustas a ella."

I realized that Daniel spoke to me in his language, unfortunately I didn't speak Spanish so I asked him, „What does it mean?"

Daniel smiled and slyly said, „I'm not telling, it's something you have to find out yourself."

„How will I find out when I don't speak your language?"

„When the time comes you'll know."

„Well basically it means that…" Ofelia interrupted by giving me what I assumed was the answer.

„Ah ah Ofelia don't tell him," interfered Daniel, walking over to Ofelia to whisper in her ear.

„You'll know what it means sooner than later Mikhail, just follow our little plan from yesterday and you'll know."

„Ladna, I understand. Well safe journey to you both," I said cheerfully waving to Ofelia and Daniel.

„Mucha suerte," waved Ofelia.

„Adios," waved Daniel.

Both father and daughter climbed in the truck and drove away as I watched their truck disappear in the distance. I breathed a sign of happiness and sentimentality and Alicia stood by my side.

„You think they're going to be okay Mikhail?" wondered Alicia.

„I think so, the dam is not far from here. They should make it before nightfall."

„I don't know about you but I am going to miss the Salazars."

„Da me too, but they need time to celebrate their reunion."

„Yeah."

„Say Alicia, what does ‚Le gustas a ella' mean?"

Alicia smiled and hinted, „I do know what it means Mikhail, but I'm not telling. It's something you have to figure out for yourself."

„Come on now, I don't speak Spanish. How am I suppose to know?"

Alicia was walking away from me, but she turned round and responded flirtatiously, „When the time comes, you'll know."

 **To be continued…**


	20. Chapter 20: Love's Confession

**Chapter 20: Love's Confession**

Love is flower you've got to let grow.

 **\- John Lennon**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 17.09.2010**

There are the proverbs „Now or never" or „Better sooner than later" which I have let slip by and have missed several opportunities to do what I meant to do after being reunited with Alicia. The only reason I delayed that opportunity was because of other issues or just because the time wasn't appropriate. I needed to be alone with Alicia and I needed to be confident so I could convey my words that would convince her that I really do love her.

Now that I have surpassed and eliminated all obstacles and tied up all loose ends, the time was now. Today was going to be the day I finally tell Alicia how I feel and just hope she feels the same.

The day was young and nearly everyone who was once here was gone. Ever since then it's been quieter and deprived of human activity. The place had become less of a community and more suburban. Only the Clarks, Mina and her mother, Luciana, Rico (da that little brat) and a handful of people whose names I haven't learnt, including myself now dwell here. I was aware that while the Clarks and I sleep in the cabin, the rest have to sleep in tents or RVs, which I knew wasn't going to be luxury for them when winter came. Not even RVs could shield anyone from the elements in the Californian winter, which I know will break the morale of our new recruits. Madison being the caring and strong-willed lady she is I know, would find a solution for the others. This could mean that whether I liked it or not, we might have to relocate.

I know this might sound cold (figuratively speaking), but that was the least of my concerns. Today is a day to relax and to do what I've been waiting to do, talk to Alicia.

* * *

After Daniel and Ofelia took their leave and Alicia was walking back into the cabin after giving me a little hint what Daniel said in Spanish, I wasted no time in asking Alicia.

„Alicia."

„Yeah," answered Alicia zealously.

„Do you want to do something later, maybe go for a walk?" I asked, feeling nervous like any normal man would when asking his crush out.

„Sure Mikhail, what time?" asked Alicia with a cheerful smile.

I thought about a time, but not wanting to think too long, I impulsively said, „Around 19:00 shall we say."

„Sounds good," replied Alicia.

„Let's meet at the porch at 19:00," I said, but Alicia didn't respond. She just continued to walk towards the cabin. Knowing she said „yes" and she didn't respond after I suggested a meeting place, I didn't worry about her changing plans at the last minute.

I felt something cold drop onto my head and it trickled down my forehead. I dabbed it and saw it was water. Then I felt more drops of water from the sky and I looked up into the sky and noticed the sun was obscured by think grey clouds. A clashing sound of thunder toned in the sky and the rain got heavier and I knew it was time to go back inside. I hurried back in the cabin where I saw others including Mina and her mother taking shelter in the cabin.

* * *

With everyone in the cabin and the repetitive sound of thunder and rain splashing on the windows, Madison put on the kettle and prepared to make everyone coco.

Everyone was sitting in the living room, apart from Alicia who was probably making speculations for our date. Mina and Nick, were also absent, maybe they were playing together and getting acquainted, knowing how good Nick was with kids. Or maybe Nick was in a private room with Luciana.

I stood near a window looking outside and how the rain was dousing everything and turning the ground into mud. I started to worry if it was going to be like this all day and I would have to cancel plans to have a date by the river or at least change plans and take Alicia somewhere less romantic. Once again misfortune rains on me with a rainy cloud already there to ruin my day. Before I could further despair, I heard Madison behind me clearing her throat.

I turned around to see Madison with a cup of coco in her hand hading it to me, „Here we are Mikhail, got to have something to take your mind off a miserable wet day."

The coco tasted good and did lift my spirits, even made me feel hopeful that the weather would clear and the sun would come out again before 19:00. After 15:00 at least, the ground needs to dry up first.

Following Madison's advise about doing something to take my mind off a wet miserable day, I decided to pass the time by going out into the porch with the guitar and sing a fitting song. I walked out into the open where it was cold and it was still raining, luckily the porch provided me shelter from the rain. I sat on the swing bench with the guitar that Gabe gave me. Gabe was the last remaining member of Gretchen's group of friends who was grateful I saved his life, and in return, he gave me his guitar which I was thankful for.

After another roar of thunder and with the guitar resting on my lap, I begun to play the guitar and sing a song. I decided to sing „Blame It On The Weatherman" by Irish girl band B*witched, which has been one of my all time guilty pleasures. I'm more into rock and roll, but it makes me cringe so much that I could like this one song by a girl band. Mainly because it reminds me of a happy moment in my life where I felt so complete and blessed. Besides the song's lyrics pertained to the mood I was in that I wanted the weather to get better and have the perfect date with Alicia.

I sung out aloud and strummed the notes on the strings and stared at the rainy scene. While I sung with passion and effort in my own privacy, little did I know that I was being watched by Madison, Alicia, Nick, Luciana, Mina, her mother and others, who were probably listening back in the inside with the front door open.

When I finished the song I received an applause from my audience, who I only realized was there when I turned my head to look at them clapping enthusiastically. Madison complimented, „Bravo Mikhail, I never realized you could sing so beautifully."

„Thank you Madison, kind of getting back into singing."

Madison gawked out into the open and I saw the bright yellow sun illuminate her face. „Well what would you know it's stopped raining. Looks like your singing has stopped the rain, bravo to you again Mikhail," praised Madison, looking happy to see the sun again.

I looked out into the open to see the rain really has stopped, but rendered the ground muddy. The sun only peeked behind the rusty red clouds and shone on the cabin as if it was a touch from God. Eventually the clouds disappeared and there was a bright and colorful rainbow in the sky, which caught everyone's attention. It reminded me of the closing scene from Noah's arc, where the flooding stopped and God created a rainbow as a promise that he would never cause another armageddon by flooding the world. The rainbow to me was a symbol of hope and premonition that this was going to be a promising and happy day for me.

* * *

Unfortunately the sun coming out would not make everyone happy, there was one survivor who has been in the same room in the exact spot since yesterday. I'm talking about Travis, the man who wanted me to leave him and save myself. Not since has he shown gratitude, just sat in the same room staring out of the window. I will never forget the scene I heard from behind the door closed when Madison attempted to talk to Travis.

„Travis, please talk to me. You haven't touched your coco I made for you," complained Madison.

„Go away Madison, leave me alone," retorted Travis.

„Travis, don't be like that. Please, I'm really worried about you. You haven't eaten anything since we got here."

„I SAID GO AWAY," yelled Travis and there was a loud clash against the wall near to the door. There was a brief moment of silence and I heard the scurry of footsteps and the rattling of broken china. The door opened and Madison zipped past me into the kitchen where I followed her.

Madison aggressively threw the bits of broken china in the trash and stood over the sink with her arms spread out and sunk her head. She was shaking, breathing intermittently and clenching her hands.

„Madison," I whispered, slowly advancing towards her.

Madison was clearly sobbing, I could see a tear leak from her eye and travel down her nose. She wiped it away and sniffed. I slowly and gently placed my hand on her shoulder and her sobbing got more intense. I was expecting Madison to slap my hand off her shoulder, but she turned around to look at me with tears leaking her eyes. I wiped her face clean with my thumbs and she in response wrapped her arms around me and cried and blubbered in my chest, „Mikhail, what happened? What has become of Travis?"

„I don't know, he didn't want to live. He wanted me to leave him, but I persisted and forced him to come with me. I don't know what he endured while in captivity, but I'm sure we'll know soon enough."

„He just isn't the same anymore. He was kind, pure-hearted and very supportive."

„Travis has done so much for me, he helped me get through my struggles in high school and I felt I owed him."

„Why did I ask you to rescue him? I should have asked you just to let him rot there," growled Madison.

I pushed Madison away from my chest with my hands on her shoulders and peering into her eyes. „Nyet Madison, you don't really mean that. I'm not going to give up on Travis and neither should you. He needs our help and support, we owe it to him for all he did for us. He might not want it, but soon he'll pull himself together and open up. Just have faith in him Madison."

„You're right Mikhail, you're such an angel," praised Madison, as she placed a hand on the scarred side of my face. I smiled and noticed a trickle of blood running down her arm.

„Madison you're bleeding."

Madison stared at her hand looking indifferent. „I must have cut myself on the broken pieces of china."

„Lets get that cut cleaned."

Madison washed her cut hand under the tap and I used vodka to disinfect the wound. I remember Madison saying, „Don't you want to save that vodka? You never know you might want a drink later on."

Seeing Madison smile, I smiled too and clarified, „I'm not really into vodka to be honest."

„But I saw you drink it. We drank it together."

Being reminded of when Madison and I nearly went through the whole bottle and not feeling good in the morning, I explained, „I was only being polite. I wanted to make you happy, which is why I wanted to drink with you because you wanted to."

„Funny, I thought all you Russians drink vodka."

„And I thought all you Americans were fat and ate nothing but McDonalds or Burger King." Madison frowned at me in a playful way as if she was going to laugh at the stereotype, but I further added, „Well while I lived in Russia that is, but you're not fat, you're very pretty."

Madison blushed and said, „Thank you Mikhail… oh and I got some of my blood on your cheek. Might want to wash it off."

After I've finished treating Madison's cut and patching it up, I was at the sink gently wiping the blood off my face. I turned to Madison and asked, „Is it off?" Madison nodded. „Horosho, I want to look good for my date with Alicia."

„You've got a date with Alicia?," marveled Madison.

„Da, at 19:00."

„19:00, that's a long time to wait. What are you going to do until then?"

„Well I've made an arrangement with Mina, she wants to learn Russian and I'm going to have a tea party with her."

„Tea, I never knew Russians drink tea. I thought that was what the British drink."

„Nyet, tea is very popular in Russia. Families invite their friends over for tea and spend hours talking and drinking tea. It's a real social event where everyone gets together and bond over a nice hot warm cup of tea."

„Oh I see, that's very interesting. Any ideas on what you're going to do on your date with Alicia?"

„Nothing special, not much to do on a date now we have no restaurants or cinemas. I was thinking a simple walk in the woods and sit next to river would be ideal."

„Sounds perfect and romantic if I may add. The first date should always be something humble and less exciting."

„I agree, can't overdo it. I want to charm her not scare her away by being too keen."

„Well Mikhail, good luck with your first date with Alicia. Let me know how it works out. Right now I better go and help our guests. They're probably asking questions about how we're going to prepare for winter."

„The winter of course," I said sarcastically.

„Oh and you're having dinner before you go on your date with Alicia," quipped Madison, starting to act like my mother.

* * *

When the ground was dry and the sun was still shining, creating a beautiful scene. I thought it was best to have to have a tea party with Mina and teach her my language. Mina and I were sitting under the sun at a folded table surrounded by bright green grass. It started to look like the scene from Alice in Wonderland where she meets the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. It also reminded me when I used to have school lessons out in the open back in Russia in Smolensk. I always did like having lessons out in the sun, it was more relaxing and refreshing, rather than sitting in a classroom where it was stuffy.

It was too bad I didn't have a samovar, didn't know where in California I was ever going to get one. Unless I was going to be issued one when I next receive a supply drop, but I doubt it was going to happen. I settled with the biggest metal pot I could find and brew tea in it. Luckily I was able to find two cups and two non-matching saucers to go with the tea party. I remembered to bring the sushki which is a custom to always serve tea with snacks, besides Mina is a little girl, little girls love snack food.

„So Mina, lets begin our our first Russian lesson with the basics. Let's start with some words starting with what we'll be drinking. This here is tea which we call „chay" which we drink out of a „chashka" a cup."

„chay…. chashka," repeated Mina looking at her tea in the cup.

I picked up one of the sushkis and manifested, „This here is a sushki, the many snacks Russians like to have with their tea. When you are at a tea party you must have one of the snacks even if you're not hungry, it's considered respectful and good manners. Shows you appreciate their hospitality."

Mina took a sushki, bit into it and critiqued, „This is really good, tastes like breadsticks only a little more sugary."

„Glad you like them. Now I'm going to show you what you can add to your tea," I picked up on of the sugar cubes and translated, „This here sakhar sugar or if I'm to be more precise I would say sakharnyye kubiki sugar cube."

„Sarkarrnii… kuuuu..bi…ki ki I can't say it right," mispronounced Mina.

„Take your time, try breaking the word like this. Sa-khar-ni ku-bi-ki."

„Sarkarni kubiki," syllabled Mina.

„Better, now lets go over the four words in Russian that I just taught you."

I pointed at each item and Mina would recall each word I taught her, „Chay, chashka, sushki and sarkarrnii kubiki."

„Ochen horosho Mina, you remembered all four and prnounced them right," I praised

Mina smiled with pride before asking, „So do we put sugar in our tea?"

„Nyet, we usually put a sugar cube in between our teeth and drink tea at the same time, but we wont be doing that. It's not for beginners, trust me, I made a mess and nearly choked to death. It was so embarrassing. Besides, I like to sweeten my tea a different way. Not with sugar, but with this stuff here, med; which is Russian for honey."

„Med?" mispronounced Mina.

„Miiyed," I stressed.

„Myed," pronounced Mina more accurately.

„Horosho you go it. Now that you can say honey in Russian, it's time to show you how I make the perfect honey black tea. My grandma taught me this, she called it the pchela or pchelinyy sok, which means honeybee or honeybee brew. This is how you do it. First you pour the chay into the chashka. Then you get a spoonful of med and stir it into the tea slowly and gently. The reason why we don't put the honey in first because the tea will only taste sweet at the bottom, and that is not what we want as a result."

I gave Mina a demonstration and then allowed her to try. She did everything right until she got to stirring the honey in the tea, where she scraped the inner walls of the cup. I advised her not to because that doesn't blend the honey in and that my grandma considered it bad manners. Mina sipped the tea and was surprised with how good the honey made the tea taste. I even showed her how some Russians like to drink tea by pouring tea into a saucer and drinking from it. Mina tried herself by supporting the saucer with her fingertips just like I showed her, but she made a mess and got tea down her neck and down her shirt. She didn't feel embarrassed, she just laughed it off. She did try it again, but did it slowly and cautiously and was able to drink the tea without spilling any. Like any little girl who just won something, I could see how proud she looked.

Then out of nowhere, Rico turns up and interrupts our tea party, „You're drinking tea without milk, how uncivilized."

„Well I don't understand the meaning of putting milk in tea, tea goes down better when it's hot," I argued.

„Yeah well you Russians drink bland muddy water if you want while I have a good cuppa of proper English tea, with milk in it. Anyway I'm not here for tea, I want to ask you for a cig."

„Rico you're not old enough to take up smoking, you know it's bad for you."

„Okay okay don't give a kid something that will kill him, but you should know a lack of nicotine does make one very angry."

„Rico go away, leave us alone."

Rico maliciously smiled and with big bulging eyes he leaned towards me and blackmailed, „Okay I'll go away, but maybe I'll crash the little date you have with your dear Alicia."

The pang hit me like a long sharp knife plunge into my heart, I couldn't have anyone especially Rico interfere. I had to appease him.

„Okay Rico you win," I fetched out my cigarettes and held out two, „Take these and please leave us alone."

„Yes sir," said Rico with a mocking salute. Just when he was about to walk away he turned back and taunted, „By the way, I don't know what Madison or anyone else is going to think about you giving a kid cigarettes, after all." Rico lit the cigarette in his mouth and punned, „They'll kill ya."

With Rico gone and I could continue my tea party with Mina, I could see she was eyeing me. Now she overheard the date I have with Alicia she asked what I thought she'd ask, „You got a date with Alicia?"

My face muscles scrunched into a smile, which I had no control over and reluctantly admitted, „Well erm it's just that Alicia and I…." It was no good, Mina was smiling too knowing the truth „Okay I'll admit it. I've got a date with Alicia."

Mina rested her clenched fist on her chin with her twinkling eyes, twinkling into mine. „I knew there was something going on between you two. I've seen you two together and I see it in your eyes. You're in love with her."

Knowing it was futile hiding the fact from Mina, I confessed, „Da I do. I've always loved her. She's precisely the reason why I'm here."

„Are you going to tell her you love her?"

„You bet, before the sun goes down I'm going to tell her."

„Are you two going to kiss?" asked Mina, mischievously smiling and squeezing her hands.

„Well of course we are going to kiss. It's what people do when they are in love. You should know you're a little girl, romance is your thing."

„I maybe a little Girl, but I'm not stupid. If you really want Alicia, you need to go someplace romantic."

„Da I know, I know just the place." I then started to daydream about my date with Alicia. The excitement was so intense, my gut was rumbling and my appetite was shrinking.

* * *

Later on in the day two hours before my date with Alicia, Madison had dinner prepared. She cooked a stereotypical American home-cooked dish, which was baked macaroni with cheese. When Madison dished a scoop of the yellow slop onto my plate, she joked saying, „You live in America Mikhail, better get used to eating good old American food."

I humored Madison and tried her home-cooking for the first time and was surprised by how it tasted. It tasted good, but in a very tangy way. I got a mouthful of cheese and soft pasta, which was the part I wasn't so keen on, but the crust on the top was a different story. The crust was the best part, it had a crispy texture which I earnestly enjoyed. Judging by the amount of cheese that went into the dish convinced me, the Americans sure do love their cheese.

I gazed outside and just as I predicted it was still daytime outside and the sunlight was dimming. This was it, I was going to tell Alicia before the sun goes down and the night sky emerges. All I did was wait patiently out on the porch for Alicia.

* * *

While watching the orange sun in the sky already feeling the nerves course all over my body, I continued to plan the date in my head and what I was going to say. I had already spruced myself up, made sure I looked my best for Alicia. My face still looked half mutilated, but that shouldn't be a problem, Alicia saw me for who I was and where real beauty truly lies.

The front door slowly creaked open and my heart was racing when I saw Alicia step onto the porch. Alicia looked at me sitting on the porch swing and I saw how stunningly beautiful and alluring she looked. She was wearing a blue and white floral short sleeve summer dress, something I've never seen Alicia wear. Her hair was tied in a ponytail with strands hanging down her face. She was wearing make up with light colored lips, furnished with gloss and she wore eye-makeup around her big expressive eyes. She smiled at me, which made me feel my insides melt and completely bewildered by her sirenic beauty. I didn't think it was this possible for a woman to be so beautiful, so beautiful not even the most sophisticated writers could describe in their romances. She was beyond beautiful, she was angelic, heavenly and divine. It was clear Alicia did this all for me, I looked my best for her and she looked her best for me. She was here and I was here, now was the time. Just her and me, alone and no interferences. I stood up and walked towards my date trying my best to sound confident and colloquial.

„Alicia wow you look… you look so glam, so elegant," I astonished, finding it hard to put such a compliment into words.

Alicia smiled, giggled and asked, „Thank you Mikhail, you look good too. So are you ready?"

„Da," I responded, feeling the nerves and shorter of breath.

* * *

Alicia and I walked in the woods and under the trees, where light from the sun gleamed through small spaces between the leaves and branches. It was like walking through a grey violet arboraceous corridor with autumn leaves gently falling onto the ground, it was so enchanting and breathtaking.

Along the way to the river, Alicia and I did have a casual conversation where I brought up the topics that I thought were appropriate for our date. We talked about how we were going to rebuild and prepare ourselves for the winter. I even remember bringing up Madison's cooking and joking how cheesy it was, which made Alicia laugh at my little pun. I complimented Madison's cooking to Alicia who then surprisingly admitted it was the one thing she hated eating.

Alicia and I found ourselves in the open and approached the river bank where we sat ourselves down and continued our conversation.

„I don't know what it is, but I just feel so safe here. Being quite far away from the cabin and being all the way out here I know, but something about this place brings back memories," disclosed Alicia.

„You went fishing with your dad?" I asked.

„Yeah. I know it's strange, but I never got bored when dad used to take me fishing. Many people get bored with fishing, but I didn't, it's just so relaxing and revitalizing. Being with someone, having conversation and share the exhilarating moment when you've got a bite."

„A bite, what do you mean?"

Alicia looked at me with a frown and perplexed, „Wow, you've lived in this country for so long and you don't know what a bite is when it's in a fishing context?"

„Nyet."

„Well basically it means you've caught a fish and you wheel it in. Don't tell me you've never been fishing."

„Nyet, never been fishing. There was a lake in my town in Russia, but I didn't go fishing."

„Not with your dad?"

„Nyet, my father never could be bothered to spend time with me."

„Too busy or something?"

„Nyet, he just wasn't interested. He just came home and just dropped into the armchair with a bottle and went to sleep. Most nights he would just sleep in that armchair and not in a bed."

„What did you do at the lake?"

„Nothing much really. Take a book and go read by the shore or just watch the sun go down just like what we're doing now. Boring I know."

Alicia shook her head and disagreed, „No it's not boring, in fact I find it amusing. Some people are just so hooked on things like TV and videogames, they just don't see or just forget how beautiful nature really is."

„You're right Alicia, some people just don't get it." the conversation died so I changed the subject, "So tell me more about your father and what he was like as a father?"

Alicia drew her eyes back at the river and reflected on the memories she had of her father before she expounded, „Well he was loving, caring and always there for us, but he wasn't always like that you know. I'm pretty sure you know the story."

„Da I know, I'd rather you didn't tell me the sad moments. Just the happy moments I'd like to know please."

„Very well. So where to begin? One thing about him I most remember was how he came home after work and the first thing he did was play with us. He was always funny, jolly and kind of childish if I must say so. Together as a family we used to go out on trips and have fun. We always took pictures and collected mementos so we never forgot what the value of family was. Then one day that all changed, he came home feeling tired, just sat on the armchair and passed out. Later on he started to become less engaging and more withdrawn from the family. We tried to lift his spirits up, but he would just shun us away it got to the point where we just didn't try anymore… oh I'm sorry I'm talking about the bad memories of him."

„Nyet it's okay Alicia, I'm sorry to hear about your father's unexplained change of attitude."

„I'll never forget how he used to help me with homework and teach me ethics in life. He taught me that with small accomplishments transcends to bigger accomplishments. I actually believed him and I worked very hard at school just to make him proud. Even when he became reserved and not his affable self anymore, I worked even harder to please him and that didn't change anything. He didn't smile, he didn't congratulate me and he didn't even tell me how proud he was of me anymore." Alicia's words started to show how emotional she was when she talked about her father no longer being supportive or encouraging. I could see Alicia's face and noticed she was on the verge of tears.

„Alicia please stop, don't hurt yourself by thinking of the bad times you had with your dad. At least you had a dad and I didn't."

Alicia wiped her thumb over her eye, looked at me confused and perplexed, „I thought you lived with your dad and your grandma came to visit."

„True, but he wasn't really my dad, he was my father. A dad sounds more admirable and a more affectionate title for someone you love. My father just put up with me, never was supportive, engaging or even interested in me. Whenever he came home, he just sat on the armchair and get drunk. The only things he ever said to me were to quit dreaming and get a real job after school. He never liked my aspirations to become an actor, he always thought it was just childish nonsense and a waste of time."

„Mikhail I'm so sorry to hear that. I guess I really do fail to see my dad really was a great dad. He just needed help, but it's sad to know it was too late."

„Alicia, it's never too late to prove to him you can do amazing things. I don't know if you believe in God or any superstition, but if he could see you now, I'm sure he's still proud of you for all you done and achieved."

Alicia turned her head to smile at me. „Thank you Mikhail, thank you for inspiring me to keep making him proud."

„Don't mention it," I smiled.

Alicia and I kept staring at the river feeling a little lost where to continue our conversation.

„So where is your father now?"

„He went missing. Where ever he is, I don't think he's looking for me. I doubt I'll ever see him again, if he's still alive that is."

„You never know, he might be nearby. Maybe he's realized he was in the wrong for mistreating you and wants to start being a dad to you."

„Well let's hope," I said, not feeling optimistic about the idea.

„So Mikhail, is there ever been someone you liked, a girl perhaps?"

Alicia's question struck me so hard it pierced my chest and caused my heart to go up my throat. I found it hard to answer that question in a calm and articulate manner.

„A girl well I….. I… to be honest, I was never into girls. Well when I was a kid that is, well actually no, I wasn't into girls after I…"

„When you hit puberty?"

„Right, even when I hit puberty, I just didn't take an interest in girls, not even sexually. Kind of weird I know, but for some reason the idea of naked woman never came into my mind."

„No, you never thought about naked women?"

„Nyet, I noticed the changes in my body, but I never got involved in conversations where men would only talk about girls."

„So you've never been in love before?" asked Alicia, asking the question I could have answered right away.

„Love, well that's different. You don't think about sex when you're in love." Come on now, this was it, I thought to myself. It's time to tell Alicia here and now how you feel. „The truth is, I have been in love before," I started to shake and get a dry mouth, I wet my lips and continued, „Actually I am in love, I've been in love with her ever since I first saw her in Paul R. Williams High School. I remember having lunch outside and being all by myself. It was a nice warm sunny day with a gentle breeze, I could not have imagined a more beautiful day. The only problem was I wasn't more appreciative on how beautiful the day was, but that was a sign of what was to come. What I will never forget was when I laid eyes on her, it was like an angel who came down from heaven and was bathing in sunlight. She was so beautiful, I didn't think it was possible for a girl to ever be so beautiful. Those elegant expressive green eyes, long brown hair and full lips." My heart was rapidly beating as it was clear I gave Alicia a conspicuous description of the girl I was talking about. I licked my lips and further expounded, „She looked so fragile, delicate and almost like she was an illusion. She quickly disappeared from my sight the moment I took my eyes off of her. She was all I thought for the entire day onwards. The next thing I hoped was to see her again and learn her name, and I would learn her name when I attended the award ceremony for best student. Once I learnt her name, I realized what an intelligent person she was. It augmented my love for her, it even made me feel inferior compared to her. When I won an award for being the best student in English, I would never forget seeing her in the audience clapping and smiling at me. The only time I ever remember talking to her was after the talent show, she came out to speak to me. I even showed her how to dance. It was so fun, I really thought that we… Oh what am I doing, I'm just rambling now. Alicia, what I have to tell you is…" I turned to look at Alicia and noticed she was looking right at me with a smile on her face. She was illuminated in a rutilant light intensifying her beauty and more alluring to look at. „What are you looking at?" I asked, feeling confused by Alicia's subtle stare.

Alicia frowned in bewilderment and responded, „What do you think dumbass?"

Then at that very Moment, I knew this was it, the moment I've been longing and pining for. You've wanted to do this for so long and this was a sign that she wanted it. Just do it, I was thinking to myself. Just do it and show her you love her, you don't have to say anything. Just do it and tell her after.

„O you want to… eh da okay… I'm just going to," I stuttered, feeling immensely nervous knowing I was about to have my first ever kiss. My stuttering did make Alicia smile and giggle, which was the face I wanted to see before I kissed her. On very rare occasions did I ever see Alicia smile, then again who would normally smile in a post apocalyptic world? Alicia's smile and crystal green eyes caused my heart to erupt and warm my blood, I felt really intoxicated and excited to kiss for the first time. I slowly inclined myself towards Alicia's waiting lips and could feel the butterflies in my stomach and my throat melt like butter in a hot pan. This was it, I was going to finally do it, I'm going to kiss Alicia and no one is going to stop me. My lips were dry, I might not know how to kiss, but I didn't care. Take the opportunity now and bask in your first real kiss with the woman you love.

Getting past the perimeter where I got close to kissing a pair of lips, my lips were finally touching hers. I kissed Alicia's lips slowly and tenderly and tried to follow her lead. After a third soft tenderly kiss, I drew my head back and reflected on what I will always remembered as my first kiss. I was on top of the mountain and in complete rapture. Alicia's lips were exactly how I thought they were, they were so soft and pliable. There was nothing so enticing or thrilling than kissing Alicia's perfect full lips.

„So how was it?" asked Alicia with a sly smirk on her face.

„Alicia it's… it's," I struggled to put it into words, I even heard Alicia snicker. „Alicia that was amazing, it was even better than I thought."

„It was your first kiss wasn't it?"

„Da that's right, first girl I've ever kissed."

„Saving it for me have you," asked Alicia, nudging me in the arm.

„Da, there were other girls who wanted to kiss me, but I couldn't. You were the one I love and wanted to sell my first kiss to."

„You love me?" baffled Alicia, as if she didn't think I was in love with her.

I looked into Alicia's eyes to make it look more honest and confessed, „Da, I loved you. I always have, ever since I saw you for the first time. You're the reason why I've come, why I've come a long way. I came all that way to tell you that I love you with all my heart and I would do anything to protect you and your family."

Alicia's attentive expression then turned into another smile and feel flattered by my confession. „Mikhail that is very sweet of you, I'm really happy to have you with us. I was the one who convinced my mum to follow you after you left the ranch."

„You were?" I felt surprised.

Alicia nodded and hummed to confirm.

„Well Alicia I don't know what to say. Guess you really did need me."

„Of course I need you Mikhail, you're the best fighter," said Alicia, slapping her hand on my leg.

I felt really flattered and honored, I blushed, „Well I do what I can."

After a short pause looking into Alicia's eyes, she then said to me, „Now that we kissed, I can now tell you what it was Daniel said."

„Le gustas a ella'," I recalled, „What does it mean?"

„She likes you," answered Alicia.

The translation thrilled me and compelled me to ask, „And do you like me?"

„Yeah Mikhail, I do," responded Alicia earnestly with a flirtatious smile.

This prompted me to smile and feel elated and exclaimed, „Alicia I can't believe it, you like me and I like you. Nyet I love you, that's what I meant to say."

Alicia smiled and after a moment of silence, she asked, „So are you going to stare at me or are you going to kiss your girlfriend again?"

„Sorry, of course I'm going to."

I leant forward and kissed Alicia again but this time I did slowly. I took everything I learnt from my first kiss and made this kiss more methodically and passionately. While I was basking in kissing the lips I've always wanted to kiss, our intimate moment was interrupted with the sound of a click, followed by a whirring sound. Alicia and I broke our kiss to look where the sound came from and there we saw was Rico with a camera. It was obvious he took a photo of us kissing as he pulled out the photo that slivered out of the slot under the lens.

„That's a keeper, wait till the folks get a load of this," smiled Rico shrewdly, waving the photo before he showed us a accurate shot of Alicia and I kissing. „Oh come on you two, I've got a picture of you two kissing, you're going to want to remember this."

„Thanks Rico, we really wanted a picture," I said sarcastically.

„Oh I'm keeping the picture, after all, I took it. Besides, I think I would like another one." Rico held the camera up to his eyes and quipped, „Smile you two and say cheese." The flash went off and it blinded me temporarily, it took five seconds to regain my sight again. „Hey you didn't say cheese."

„Rico I'm going to…" I snarled, preparing to get on my feet and retrieve the camera and photos from him until I felt Alicia's hand on my arm.

„Mikhail no, let him go, he's not worth it," assuaged Alicia. I decided to abate my anger towards Rico for his cheeky act and sat back down.

„Hurry back you two, it's getting late," wisecracked Rico, before taking his leave.

Alicia and I continued to stare at the river which was a dark blue with ripples and a reflection of a red sun. I took a deep breath and asked Alicia something I needed to know, „Why me? What is it about me you like?"

„Because I always thought you were interesting. Well actually you were more like a mystery to me," answered Alicia.

„A mystery?"

„You were always on your own always doing something odd and quirky, I always wanted to know the person behind the quirks."

„So that's why you approached me after the talent show because you wanted to know me."

„Yeah, I used to think you were weird, but after getting to know you, I realized how full of life you were. Besides, you remind me of someone."

„Who your father?"

„No, well in a way, but I was thinking of someone else. Also I saw you buy Mina an ice cream and I thought that was very sweet and kind of you to do something so thoughtful and generous." Being reminded of my noble unselfish really convinced me I was a good person.

„Da I guess I really am weird, but with a big heart which I give to you….. I, I don't know what else to say."

„Come here," giggled Alicia, pulling me towards her and throwing her lips onto mine. Alicia slowly removed her lips from mine and pressed her forehead up against mine and offered, „Would you like to sleep in my bed tonight?"

„I don't know, I think you're going to need the bed more than me," I answered.

Alicia tore her forehead away from mine with a frown and clarified, „No dumbass, do you want to sleep in bed with me?"

The thought of sleeping in the same bed with Alicia made me feel queasy in my stomach, but in comforting way. Kind of the feeling you get when you hear good news, almost like when I was announced as the winner of the talent show back at school.

„Da, I would love to sleep in the same bed as you, it would be my pleasure. Oops that didn't come out right."

Alicia laughed, kissed me and said, „Wait till everyone has gone to bed and sneak into my room. I'll be waiting for you."

Unable to find an appropriate response, I decided that words weren't necessary. Not at a time like this. Tonight I was going to be sleeping in the same bed with the woman I love who is now officially my girlfriend. Now she was mine and I was hers, there was only one thing I could do from that moment on, kiss her again and taste those soft exquisite lips again.

After another passionate kiss, Alicia rested her head on my shoulder and we stared at the river that was slowly fading into darkness, until it was looking like an endless pit of blackness.

One of my favorite things to do in the summer back in Russia was to sit by the lake and watch the sun go down. It was so therapeutic and peaceful, almost made me forget my troubles of having a neglectful father and a mother I knew nothing about. Now it was different, I was here in a similar place. I was already feeling the nostalgia and most of all, I was holding hands with the woman I love, and she was resting on my shoulder. All I could think about now was getting back home and sleeping in a bed with my girlfriend.

 **To be continued…**


	21. Chapter 21: Broken Hearts

**Chapter 21: Broken Hearts**

We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving.

 **\- Friedrich Nietzsche**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Audio Journal 18.09.2010**

Being in a relationship for the first day does feel refreshing, kind of like being born again. You wake up to a whole new world filled with beauty and anticipation. Was this a love that is meant to last? It is too early to tell.

While it seemed everything was going well for Alicia and I, there was a romance I knew was how should I say? On the rocks. As the one now reveling in happiness, I felt it was my duty to fix the hearts that were broken.

* * *

Alicia and I did arrived back at the cabin, trying to find our way in the dark. Thanks to my experience of guiding myself through the dark and navigational skills, I got us home safely. When we got there, we saw Madison was outside sitting on the swing bench and looking relieved we returned home safe. Madison embraced her daughter, obviously having assumed the possibility Alicia and I were ambushed by bandits or attacked by walkers.

Once we were inside, we were sat at the table with coco and Madison would ask about the date. I let Alicia do the talking and she would only talk about the date in vague details, nothing that gave her the idea that Alicia and I were now officially a couple. It became clear Alicia did not want to tell her mother yet that we were a couple, presumingly on the account she was seeing me and not wanting to announce it to everyone.

Once we finished our coco, we agreed that it was time for bed and we went to our own sleeping quarters. I would lie on the couch which had been my bed ever since I got here, but I knew tonight wouldn't be my bed. My bed I would be sharing with Alicia, which I was already excited about, too excited I couldn't sleep.

* * *

I waited until it was quiet, so quiet I couldn't hear the floorboards creak. Slowly I got myself on my feet, feeling the adrenaline that pumped through my body before combat engagement. I administered my stalking tactic and tried to sneak to Alicia's room undetected.

I came across Alicia's door and saw it was open and Alicia was peeking through the open door greeting me with an appetent jaunty smile. She beckoned me to come to her door and I silently and cunningly accelerated to the door where I squeezed through.

I sat on the bed, hoping her to follow and climb onto the bed with me, but she stood near the door just glaring at me like a teacher who spots one of her pupils misbehaving. Her fingers tapped against the door frame like she was playing a piano, obviously signaling that she was waiting for something.

When I got off the bed and approached her, she lifted a smile on her face, looking more gratified. I was doing what she wanted me to do. I could see she was wearing a blue silk nightdress, which perplexed me where she could get something so extravagant and elegant, unless she got it as a gift. At this time it didn't matter, all what mattered was how captivating and enticing she looked. Her long lavish curly hair hung down her shoulders and she freshened up with a little splash of perfume.

I stood by Alicia and looked submissive, waiting for me to do something audacious which was something I did next. I grabbed Alicia with an arm around her back and the other behind her legs, as I lifted her feet off the ground and carried her like a princess to her bed. Her reaction was of surprise, it was if she was not expecting it.

I gently placed her on the double bed and she gave me a surprise of her own by grabbing me by the collar of my shirt and kissing me. With her lips around mine, she then proceeded to strip off my shirt. She then pushed me onto my back so she could play with my stomach muscles. Her fingers tenderly stroking my belly caused my muscles to twitch in tittilation. Then she unbuckled my belt and zipped down my flies. From this moment on, I knew what she was intending.

„Alicia I….." I tried to explain to Alicia, but she interrupted me with her face close to fine and a finger on my lips.

„Shh Mikhail, just relax okay and by the way, I'm not wearing any panties," revealed Alicia with a seductive flutter of her eyelashes. „Look," instructed Alicia, lifting up her dress to show she had no panties on. Her skin was serene and peachy, no scars sustained after all that time engaged in conflict and near death experiences.

I did feel powerless and unable to articulate the words I wanted to say to her. I wanted to tell her stop, but before I could say another word to her, her hand clawed my underwear. She pulled them down, exposing my genitals. Alicia hovering me attempting to make love to me was overpowering, kind of like when I encountered my first walker and I was paralyzed from the waist down.

Alicia grabbed the bottom of her nightdress and begun to strip, but before she exposed her breasts and I pleaded, „Alicia please, please stop."

Alicia stopped, looked at me and questioned, „What's the matter Mikhail, you don't want to do it?"

„Da I do, I mean… Alicia listen, I'm sorry, it's just… well I'm not ready," I explained, trying not to hurt Alicia's feelings.

Alicia hesitated, looked down with her eyes directed at my still uncovered genitals. „I can tell you're not ready because it doesn't look ready," remarked Alicia.

„Alicia it's not you believe me it's just well… I think it's too soon. We've only been together for less than a day and it's all happening too fast."

Alicia looked at me funny and concurred, „Okay, it's just we live in a world where the dead walk and people are killing each other. Thought you'd think this would be the best time to have intercourse, after all, you don't think things will ever be normal again do you?"

I thought about it before answering Alicia's skepticism, „Da, you are right, things might never be the same again. At some point we will be forced to take up arms and fight even if it means there might never be peace and order restored."

„Aren't you ever going to make love to me?" asked Alicia, putting on a sad face and stroking my stomach muscles.

„Alicia, of course I am. I want to make love to you. It's just I want to give it a little more time, when we both feel ready."

Alicia frowned in confusion, „Okay, understandable."

„We can still cuddle and kiss. I like that."

„Okay let's do that then."

Alicia slumped her body onto mine and endowed me with lustful kisses. We were kissing for some time, until we felt sapped with energy and tried to go to sleep while engaging in conversation.

While Alicia rested her head on mine, I caught a glimpse of something on her lower arm next to her elbow joint. It was in the shape of a heart but it was drawn in a line that outlined and spiraled inwards to form the shape of a heart. This was something that connected me to the past, back when Matt and I had just become friends. Experiencing a flashback, I found myself out in the bright warm sun and on the playground. I had a pink chalk in my hand and I could see right beside me was Matt as a kid drawing on the concrete slabs. Matt was drawing on one slab and I was about to draw on my own slab. Me not being the artist, was uncertain what to draw and Matt would just tell me to use my imagination, just be impulsive and draw the first thing that comes to mind.

I placed the pointy end of the chalk on the surface and decided to draw a line, a curved line. Undecided where I would direct the chalk next, I did exactly what Matt advised me and went with my impulses. I stopped in certain areas and drew the chalk line inwards.

After I was done I looked at what I've finished drawing and it was a heart, a rigid shaped heart in a spiral.

Matt looked over my shoulder laughed, „You drew a heart. What compelled you to draw a heart? Are you in love?" Matt was looking at me smiling as if he was about to laugh.

Feeling embarrassed, I denied, „Nyet nyet, a map of India. Nyet, a diamond that's right a diamond, a spirally diamond."

Matt laughed and said, „Mikhail there's nothing to be ashamed of. My dad told me that hearts are not just for loving and for pumping blood all over your Body. No, hearts are more than that. It's the most sensitive organ in our body, well not scientifically speaking. Whatever your mind tells you and how you respond is felt in the depths of your heart. Whatever you feel, whatever you choose to do you must always follow whatever your heart tells you."

This quote Matt gave me always etched in my memory and has resonated from time to time. It's unfortunate that this wasn't something Matt aways abided by, that was until he became a bigot and tried to tell me what to think and who to be.

When our friendship was officially over, I was reminded with an experience of heartbreak that Matt wasn't kidding. The emotions are felt in the heart and the pain of losing a friend was like a hot sharp blade plunged right in there. It was only until I saw Alicia did my once broken heart heal and start beating again.

„Mikhail what are you doing?" asked Alicia rebukingly.

I snapped out of my flashback unaware I was stroking Alicia's tattoo with my finger the whole time.

„Alicia I'm sorry it's just…"

„You're admiring my tattoo?"

„Well erm it's very pretty."

„Thank you. I did it myself."

„Really?"

„Yeah, it was painful, but well worth the effort."

„I see."

I then pondered on how Alicia got the same symbol I designed on her arm. Then it occurred to me that Matt did take pictures of all the drawings he did and obviously kept my drawing as part of his collection. Matt must have drawn that heart on Alicia's arm and Alicia tattooed over it in black ink. She did a neat job I must say. Why Matt drew that heart on Alicia's arm became another mystery to me, does it have something to do with me?

„Alicia can I ask you something?" I asked.

„Sure."

„About Jake I was wondering if…"

„If I slept with him?"

„Da, that's what I wanted to ask." I was already feeling the tension and ready for Alicia to reveal to me whether she was a virgin or not.

„No Mikhail, we kissed, but we didn't have sex." It was a relief to hear that Alicia did not have sex with Jake, I was lost for words until I felt Alicia stroke under my chin and ask, „Why, are you jealous?"

„Absolutely," I said sarcastically.

„Did you think that just because I kissed him I'm in love with him?"

„Well I…"

„You don't have to be in love to kiss you know."

„Da, that's what Ofelia told me."

„Why, does she know?"

„Da, if it weren't for her. I would have never found you."

The conversation halted and I thought briefly about Ofelia and how she was doing with her father.

„So why did you pick me instead of Jake?"

„Dumbass, isn't it obvious? I'm not in love with Jake, I just find him hot. I was close to having sex with him, but then I thought about you. At that moment I couldn't bring myself to give my virginity to him."

„Why's that?"

„What do you think dumbass?"

„Because you wanted it to be with someone special?"

„Exactly," responded Alicia, tapping my nose. „And don't you dare ask who that special person is."

„Nyet I won't… the answer is obvious. Anyway, as much as I admit I was jealous of Jake, I kind of miss him as a friend."

„He was your friend?"

„Da, if it weren't for him I wouldn't have got far. It's just unfortunate him and I became enemies after he accused me of murdering his father."

„You didn't kill him did you?"

„Nyet, it was Marc Antony. I only gave Walker his severed head."

„Well Jake did talk about you."

„Pravda, what did he say?"

„He said, „I hope Mikhail looks after you and he treats you right"."

„I do regret him and I never got to apologize, but at least we buried the hatchet."

„Well enough about Jake, he's in the past. Now lets talk about us and our future."

Talking about the future was a big step for me. Now that my heart is like a vast ocean and the world in my eyes has become a more vibrant place, I said the first thing that pops in my head.

„Our future, hm that's an interesting subject. First we need to find a new place where everyone can be provided with shelter for the winter."

„I was thinking about us dumbass, what are we going to do now that we're boyfriend and girlfriend?"

„Oh that future, let me think. First I think I need to teach you how to fight."

„Ooh this is getting interesting, you going to teach me how to fight like hmmm I don't know…. Wonder Woman?"

„Maybe not exactly like Wonder Woman, but you'll become a real badass I promise you."

„And one thing you must promise me is that you'll have sex with me right after we've found a new place to live."

„I promise, I promise by then I'll be ready."

After promising to Alicia I would have sex after relocation, time froze and I thought back on my promise. I knew that sooner or later I would have to have sex with Alicia because that would be the next step in our relationship. It was reasonable I turned her first offer down after only being in a relationship for less than a day, but I knew after many nights sleeping beside her, I would be ready for sex.

Alicia and I eventually would decide it was late and it was time to go to sleep. We lay on our sides, facing each other and close to one another. Seeing how beautiful she looked and how lush her lips looked, I inclined myself towards her face to kiss her one more time before I would close my eyes before going to sleep. As much as I enjoyed kissing her lips, I knew one was enough. It's time to let my princess get some sleep until we wake up to a new beautiful morning.

* * *

When my eyes were closed and I drifted off into sleep, I had a nightmare about me getting bitten and Alicia tearfully volunteering to put me down before I turned. I remember whispering to Alicia, „It's okay princess, do it… put me down… I love you." Alicia had a tear roll down her eye, held her breath before pulling the trigger with a flash spitting out of her rifle.

I woke up in shock and saw I was alive and that Alicia was laying right beside me still asleep. Alicia did moan and flinch a little, but her eyes were still closed. I was about to lie back down and go back to sleep, but then I heard a voice out of nowhere disturb me.

„Hello Mikhail my bruv."

I turned to see someone standing beside Alicia, it was Matt. My old apparition come to visit me, probably to talk about the obvious.

„Matt what are you doing here?"

„Shhh, the baby is sleeping. Don't want to wake her up now do you?"

„Nyet I don't."

„Then let's take it in the kitchen," suggested Matt, pointing his finger to the door.

„Da let's do it," I acquiesced and silently left the room with Matt.

Matt and I went into the kitchen where he sat himself at the table and I prepared to boil some water and prepare tea.

„Mikhail what are you doing?" asked Matt.

„I'm preparing us some tea."

„A little too late for tea don't you think?"

„What I thought you like tea, you used to drink it whenever we visited my grandma's."

„Well it kind of takes long, plus I'm feeling like a proper drink. Break out the vodka."

The ‚v' word immediately put the taste of that strong overpowering sensation in my mouth, like a mouthful of acid.

For Matt's sake and giving into his request I agreed, „Okay let's drink vodka then."

I got Matt a glass and poured a splash of vodka in.

„Aren't you going to have some too?" wondered Matt.

„Nyet," I bluntly responded.

„You don't seem to like vodka do you?"

„Nyet, I don't know what you Americans think about us Russians, but not all Russians like vodka and I'm one of them."

„Ah Mikhail be a man and learn to drink the good stuff."

„Akh please that stuff burns, it's like drinking acid with your insides burning."

„Your body will get used to it. Come on don't be a wimp and have a vodka with me."

Feeling reluctant in my bones and inclined to stubbornly refused, I looked at Matt smiling and gave into his plea and got myself a glass.

„Na zdorov'ye," said Matt in perfect pronunciation, holding up his glass.

„Na zdorov'ye," I responded apathetically and we banged glasses and knocked down the stuff.

Matt's reaction when necking down the vodka was different than mine. He winced and scrunched his face. He repeatedly slammed against his chest and breathed in and out raucously.

„Damn that is strong stuff. You weren't lying that shit sets your insides on fire," coughed Matt.

I knew how Matt felt, my reaction wasn't like his. I was able to tolerate the stuff going down and I was already feeling a raging fire inside my belly. This was the same vodka Madison and I drunk and she was able to handle it, being the tough mother she is.

„So now we've had a drink, I suppose it's time we talked serious," suggested Matt, giving me the same look a teacher gives a misbehaved student after class.

„About what?"

„About Alicia dumbass."

Matt calling me a dumbass didn't come out as well when Alicia called me that, because when it came from her it was cute. Coming from Matt it was just a parody and reference.

„Akh Alicia… right… Alicia. Well it's official we're going out, sorry if you don't like it."

„Did I say I didn't like it?"

„Nyet, I thought you'd disapprove."

„What am I going to do about it? I'm dead and the one thing I wanted was for Alicia to move on and be happy."

„Well our relationship is barely a day old, it's too early to tell if she's happy."

„Oh right that was the reason you turned her down when she offered herself to you."

„I think you misunderstand the meaning of sex Matt. When it's between a man and a woman who love each other, sex should be something special and not something one is coerced into because they think they should."

„You're right about that bruv, Alicia and I didn't have sex when we started dating. In fact, I was planning to after I arranged a date at the beach. We would watch the sun go down and then go back to my place where my parents weren't home and then do it."

Matt's story of how he planned to make love to Alicia resonated with my date with Alicia. We both watched the sun go down and came back, oblivious to the fact Alicia intended to have sex with me. Turning her offer down was the right decision and I don't regret it.

„Let me guess, you got bit and didn't show up."

„Ten points bruv, kind of sucks if you ask me. I was about to get laid and I became one of the first victims of this viral outbreak."

Reflecting on Matt's misfortune did renew my sympathy for him, he had everything planned for a beautiful and passionate night and it was all taken away by the cruel hand of fate.

„Da it kind of does suck, maybe I'll die before I get laid."

„That's why you need to keep fighting Mikhail. Fight for her, be her hero."

„I wont be doing all the fighting, Alicia can fight. I'm going to teach her how to be a better fighter. Together we'll survive and fight for a better future."

„Well said Mikhail," applauded Matt, „Whatever you do don't wait too long, Alicia is going to want to get laid and if you keep turning her down, she'll think that you don't love her."

„You're right Matt, you're absolutely right," I agreed. I stood up and took the glasses to the sink to wash them and asked Matt the question I've been meaning to ask him, „By the way Matt, I have to ask the mother of all question. Why did you betray me to Marc Antony?"

I turned to look at his face as he would tell me the truth, but as I did he was gone. He was not sitting at the table and he was nowhere to be found in the kitchen. I called his name and he didn't respond. It was like he just vanished and proved to only be a delusion. With Matt gone I decided it was best to get back into bed with Alicia and hope she hasn't woken up to not find me by her side.

I snuck into the bedroom without making the door creak and walked to my side of the bed where Alicia suddenly rolled to face me. Her arm was outstretched and she glided her hand up and down just to feel an empty space.

„Mikhail, where'd you go?"

„I'm here Alicia."

„What are you doing out of bed?"

„Em I needed the bathroom, sorry."

Alicia slapped her hand on her bed and longingly demanded, „Come to bed."

„Da."

I eagerly and slowly slipped myself back into bed and gently took Alicia in my arms. Alicia rested her head on my chest as I lay on my back and had my arm around Alicia. While I stared at the ceiling and looked at Alicia's head on my chest, I heard her groan and felt her hand stroke my abs. This tenderly touch Alicia was applying to my abs I didn't know whether it was love or physical attraction. Knowing that Alicia was using my chest as a pillow and she was stroking my body with an affectionate purr convinced me it was love and I wanted to believe it was. It didn't matter what the status and meaning of the relationship was, only that I kissed Alicia and she was in my arms. Now I can do the one thing I haven't done in a long time, sleep in a nice warm bed with my girlfriend and wake to a new happy and exciting day.

* * *

The first thing I noticed before I was waking up was Alicia's voice tingling in my ear. „Mikhail, are you awake?"

„I'm awake," I responded, without opening up my eyes because they were glued shut.

„No you're not, your eyes are closed."

After a long pause, I again heard Alicia's voice and her fingers stroking my belly.

„Mikhail get up, I'm hungry."

„Okay, I'll get up. I just need a few more seconds."

Then I felt Alicia hover over me and her lips on mine. Just what I needed, a morning kiss to wake me up. Unfortunately it didn't wake me up, it only compelled me to go back to sleep again.

„Mikhail get up," Alicia raised her voice and hammered her fist on my left shoulder.

This shot me out of bed and yelp in pain, I found myself sitting on the floor with my back against my side of the bed, nursing the pain. It was clear Alicia hit me right where I sustained a bruise from firing that 50 calibre rifle I used to shoot down the helicopter.

„Oh come on Mikhail I barely touched you," tutted Alicia.

„You hit me right on the bruise."

„Oh Mikhail I'm sorry," apologized Alicia sincerely. She wrapped her arms around me neck and kissed me on the cheek. I looked down at my bruise and saw it was bright yellow, only in bright sunlight was it directly visible.

Without warning, the door opened and there standing by the door was Madison. At first she walked in casually as if she was waking her daughter up, but then her facial expression turned to shock and surprise. I was sitting on the side of the bed (topless) and Alicia still had her arms around my neck. We were both staring at Madison's still shocked, but non-angry face.

Madison smiled and said, „Breakfast is ready you two."

Madison left the room looking happy and content, leaving Alicia and I to get dressed appropriately for the breakfast table.

Breakfast wasn't the stereotypical excessive amount of food that Americans normally eat for breakfast, but a more light cooked breakfast consisting of eggs and toast. I was expecting Madison to cook me some American pancakes, but our food supply was limited so we had to make do. Nonetheless it was well cooked and the eggs were well seasoned, Madison sure knew her spices.

Madison didn't join us for breakfast, she just made herself a cup of coffee and just sat calmly at the table, as if she wanted to begin a discussion.

„Mikhail, can I have a moment alone with Alicia please?" requested Madison.

„Sure," I obeyed, „I'll go out for a cigarette."

„They're bad for you," remarked Alicia as I got off my chair.

„I know I know. I'll cut down I promise," I said as I walked outside to have a cigarette in the cool breezy outdoors.

* * *

I sat on the swing bench, enjoying the rising sun and the song of birds chirping while enjoying a cigarette. When I said to Alicia I'd cut down on my nicotine intake, I really meant it. I would have a cigarette after meals or after a long grueling fight. Only after a full stomach and catching my breath after a fight did a cigarette taste so good and really felt rewarding. The question was whether I would give up smoking after finding a solution to cutting back on how many I smoke a day? As much as I did enjoy smoking, I did know that these burning sticks out of tobacco and paper would kill me. I didn't want to die, I want to live. Now I'm with Alicia and have finally found happiness, I became more health conscious and decided I was going to live healthier.

One thing I still had in my possession was the lollipop Mina gave me. They do say lollipops are one of the best substitutes to quitting smoking, which was something I'm working towards. Unfortunately I only have one in my possession.

„Hey Mikhail, how's it going?" greeted Nick warmly and sitting on the bench swing next to me.

„Hey Nick," I greeted back.

„Do you have a spare fag?"

„Da, I do."

I whipped out my packet of cigarettes and lighter for Nick.

„So I've heard that it's official now between you and Alicia," said Nick, blowing the smoke out of his lungs.

This corroboration from Nick made me assume that he overheard Madison and Alicia's private talk, which I agreed not to interfere with.

„Da it is true," I admitted with sweet conceit.

„How does it feel to be a boyfriend?" asked Nick in a jokingly manner.

„Feels honored to carry that title, but most of all, it feels great. It feels really great."

„Yeah well now that you're Alicia's new boyfriend, you do understand she's still my little sister. You have to treat her well and not use her for sex, do you hear me?"

The tone in Nick's voice was firm and should be intimidating, but I wasn't intimidated, because I knew sex was the last thing on my mind.

„Da I do, but to be honest, I don't think about sex."

„No?"

„Having sex is and should be a part of being love, but only when two consent. Just because I'm in love with Alicia doesn't mean I want to get inside your sister," realizing what I just said, I apologized, „Sorry that didn't come out right."

Nick instead smiled and said, „No problemo, I understand what you are saying. One thing that's always concerned me about anyone dating my sister is that they will use her for sex and then break up with her. I feared the same with her last boyfriend, I thought he only acted charming just to get lucky."

Nick gave me the hint that he didn't like Matt and never trusted him. Rather than continue to talk about Matt as a subject, I decided to ask Nick questions about him.

„So how are things with Luciana?"

„Oh well we've been talking about whether we're going to be staying here."

„I know right. Winter is coming and we need to find shelter for everyone."

„No not the winter. Luciana wants me to go with her to Mexico and rescue her people, but I'm unsure about that. She offered me the chance back at the ranch and left without giving me the chance to decide, now she's offering me the opportunity again and I'm still unsure."

„Understandable, you're burdened with the choice to stay with your family or leave with the woman you love."

„I know, kind of sucks when you're stuck with decisions you don't want to make."

„Da well, unfortunately for me, I didn't have a real family. My grandma died, my father disappeared and all I have was Alicia. She is the only path for me in life."

„Well Mikhail, I'm sorry to hear about your family and I'm sorry you don't understand what it's like to know you love and care for your family, but having to sacrifice a chance of romance."

„Well if Luciana means so much to you, then you should go with her."

„I know I know. I left my family once, I don't think I could leave them again."

Feeling disturbed by Nick abandoning his family propelled me to ask him a question.

„Why did you leave your family?"

„I don't know why, I guess I didn't like the way things changed. Not only with the world, but my family as well. My mother committed murder and I could never look at her in the same way again."

The idea of Madison committing murder was shocking, and so was Alicia's revelation to me that she too committed murder. I abated the shock and condoned Madison's action with an understanding that part of surviving in this world is adapting to the changes, and killing just to survive.

„Why did you come back?"

„I didn't really come back. I was enjoying my new start in life with Luciana. My family found me thanks to you of course. It was only when living on the ranch did I decide to stick with my family, but unfortunately Luciana didn't want to stay and that's why she left."

„Why did she leave?"

„Because she wanted to find her people and because Jeremiah Otto was a racist asshole. Can you imagine a Latino living in a place where she would be segregated and treated like a second class citizen?"

„Da, I don't blame her. Almost the same treatment I got just because I'm Russian."

„Yeah well people loved you afterwards and you know why."

„Da I do."

There was a pause in my conversation with Nick until he finished his cigarette and discarded the butt.

„Anyway, I've been thinking. If I knew where you were, I would come and visit. That way I could leave with Luciana and come and visit."

„True, but where? It would have to be a permanent place of residency and not temporary shelter."

„You're right. Until then, I have to try Luciana's patience and risk my relationship with her again."

Nick's statement resonated with how I'm testing Alicia's patience. She's my girlfriend and I know that I too can't keep testing her patience by avoiding sex with her. It didn't matter the way we look at it, part of life is about taking risks, even if they have positive or negative results.

* * *

After a relaxing cigarette break with Nick, him and I went back inside where Madison and Alicia were sitting at the table. To my surprise and I'm sure Nick's, Luciana was also sitting at the table.

Madison turned her head to look at me with a smile and greet, „Well back so soon."

„Sorry, were you still talking?" I asked, wanting to sound considerate.

„Oh no, Alicia and I are done talking. We've just been talking about you, and Alicia has confirmed it, it is now official."

Madison's smile got wider and her bright radiant smile prompted me to smile too and even laugh.

„Da, well… word gets out there quickly." Madison and I both laughed before I decided to change the subject and ask, „So what's new with Travis?"

„Well we might not be on speaking terms again, but I'm happy to know he's eating again."

„He's eating again?" I was astonished to know that Travis was coming out of his depression and eating.

„Yep, he cleans his plate like a dog."

„Madison that's no way to call your boyfriend," I jokingly chided Madison.

„Well him and I will be boyfriend and girlfriend again when he starts talking again."

„Has he had his breakfast?"

„I gave him breakfast, maybe he's finished. If you go and fetch his plate I'll make some black tea and we can talk about the wedding, deal?"

„Deal," I responded, walking affably to Travis' room where he'd been a hermit ever since we got here. On the way, I heard Alicia playfully admonish her mum for making a witty remark about a wedding I never bought up with her.

* * *

Arriving at Travis' door, I heard noises behind the closed door. It's true if your senses are damaged or disabled, your other senses amplify and that's what happened with my sense of hearing. Behind the door there was the clicking and rattling sound of metal, but a clicking and rattling I was familiar with and what I identified it to be. It was the rhythm of a gun, a revolver and that is what I knew what was happening in the room, Travis was attempting suicide with self inflicted gunshot.

I tried the handle and threw my shoulder against it and the door flew open. I saw Travis sitting at the window in the bright morning sun. He turned his head to see me, and good thing he did, because it bought me a few precious seconds. The cylinder in his revolver was closed and a shot was in the chamber, but to my relief, pulled the hammer down unaware it was a double action revolver.

Before the hammer was pulled down to the upper-grip, I leapt over the bed and landed on Travis. I gripped his wrist with the revolver in it, pulled it away from his head and pointed it at the ceiling.

„Let go of me Mikhail, let me do this," growled Travis through his teeth.

Travis tried to hook punch me in the face and I deflected it. I then backed away with Travis' shooting arm stretched out. Sliding my grip up his wrist to his hand, I twisted it and his forearm twisted as well. Travis anguished and roared in pain, which loosened his trigger finger, enabling me to disarm the revolver out of his hands.

Travis now disarmed, launched himself out of the wheelchair with his arms and dived towards me, attempting to attack me. I held out my palm and pushed him to ground where he landed on his back. Stubborn and refusing to give up, Travis then again tried to flip on his belly, as a means to resume attacking me. I quickly hovered over him, placing my knee on the forearm of his right arm and the foot of my right leg on his other arm. I further rendered him powerless by gripping his hair and holding his head down. I was prepared for Travis to spit at me, but to my relief, he didn't.

„Stay down," I ordered firmly, like a parent disciplining his child.

„What's going on here?" asked Madison who was standing behind me.

„Travis was trying to shoot himself," I replied.

„Travis," reprimanded Madison furiously.

I helped Travis sit up, picked him up under his arms and sat him back into his wheelchair.

Out of nowhere a stench hit my nostrils, it was a sour musty kind of smell, baking in the hot sun.

„I smell something."

„Who is it?" asked Alicia, sounding a little inappropriate after an almost successful suicide attempt.

„Not who, somewhere." I drew breath through my nostrils and sensed where the smell was coming from, „From the window."

Alicia walked to the window and inspected it and acknowledged, „You're right, I see what looks like… dried spaghetti sauce." Alicia opened the window and the stench got more intense, it made me want to throw up. Alicia backed from the window and coughed, „Mum you're not going to believe this, Travis hasn't been eating his food, he's been dumping it out of the window."

The light that had already extinguished in Madison eyes then reignited and her eyebrows drew closer together. Her hand clenched and her fist trembled. Her body was quivering with rage, I don't think I ever saw Madison this angry before. She marched towards Travis, gritted her teeth and swung her open hand across his face. The force was so powerful it looked like she broke Travis' neck.

„Mum," worried Alicia, trying to placate her angry mother.

Travis looked at Madison looking scared and intimidated by her rebuking.

„You bastard, first you waste food and then you try to kill yourself. How could you fucking hurt me more?"

„Mum please," persuaded Alicia.

Madison picked up a smeared dried plate with matching sauce that was found on the window. She held it in front of Travis and further rebuked, „What's wrong Travis? I thought you liked spaghettiOs, aren't they your favorite?" Madison's voice then turned to sarcasm and she put a smile on her face, „Oh wait I forgot, you're not hungry." She reverted back to her angry face, lifted the plate high in the air as if she would smash it on Travis' head. Instead, she smashed it onto the floor. „WELL FINE, I give up Travis, and you know what?" Madison snatched the revolver I received from Travis and slammed it in his lap and chided, „Here you are, just do it, just kill yourself if that's what you want. Just do it, no one will miss you."

I could see the tears build up in Madison's eyes as she then turned around and stormed out of the room to cry. Travis' face turned to shame and regret, knowing how much he hurt the one who was patient with him and tried to help him.

„Mum," called out Alicia, following her mum.

I grabbed the gun off Travis (no resistance) and followed Alicia out of the room and as I turned her found, her face was leaking with tears, they were tears she shed for Travis and his selfish act.

„Alicia don't, it's going to be okay. I promise."

„Mikhail I don't believe it, how he could he…?" sobbed Alicia, crying more tears.

I wiped the tears dry from Alicia's eyes and consoled, „Alicia, it's going to be okay, I'll talk to Travis."

„Mikhail."

„Alicia take this," I gently placed the unloaded revolver in Alicia's palm and asked, „Go and help your mum."

Alicia looked at me with sorrowful eyes and nodded. Stimulated by the cute look in her eyes, I leant forward to kiss her tenderly on the lips. She smiled and I saw I brought the twinkle back in her eyes.

Alicia separated to tend to her mother while I walked back into the room to see Travis looking sad and stunned.

„Travis, I think we should talk."

„Mikhail, there's nothing to say."

„O there is, there's a lot to talk about. Starting with why you attempted suicide when you've still got those who love and still care about you."

„Why tell you Mikhail? You wouldn't understand."

„Maybe not know how you feel, but understand a motive. Maybe losing loved ones (I was careful not to give out names) or in captivity."

„You're warm, but it doesn't compare with what you've done to me."

„What did I do to you?"

I was shocked when Travis revealed that I wronged him somehow.

„The way you treated Chris, you shunned him and really hurt his feelings. You could have been a real friend to him, but no, you just turned him away like he was nothing."

„Travis nyet, that's not true. I tried to help Chris, I tried to help him get good grades. It was wrong I didn't give him a reasonable explanation, but I didn't want a friend at the time."

„Oh what Chris isn't good enough for you?" hissed Travis.

„It's not that, Chris was very easy to work with and I was proud of how well he approved. If you're trying to say I went the wrong way about rejecting Chris, you are right. I could have helped him understand that I wasn't the right friend for him. Even if I did accept him as a friend, I wouldn't have been able to give him the friendship he deserved. If I could go back in time I would sit Chris down and have a talk with him and make it a clean break."

Travis hesitated, nodded and changed the subject.

„So what about Madison hey? I heard you both got really drunk and you took advantage of her. Did you like it Mikhail? Do you like older women?"

Reflecting back to the time where Madison got really drunk and tried to kiss me, pierced me deep in my chest.

„Nyet that's not true, Madison and I did have too many drinks, but I never kissed her. I love Alicia." Travis looked at me with scorn and I further explained, „Okay I love Madison too, but not in that way."

„It's not what Marc Antony told me. He may have psychologically tortured me, but in all honesty, I'd say you're no better than him and neither is Madison and her family."

„What do you mean?"

„Abandoning me and leaving me to Marc Antony to torment me everyday and tell them they forgot me."

„Travis, we didn't abandon you, there's a reason for that."

„Oh please, more excuses just like all students back at high school. My dog ate my homework, Jane Doe won't go out with me or I didn't make the team."

„Travis stop it, please let me explain what happened."

Travis glared at me, feigned a smile and said, „Okay Mikhail, shoot."

„While you were still in a coma, Marc Antony threatened to launch a nuke into the ranch unless I left, which I did. I did it to save everyone, including you. Madison and her family left too, because they were worried about me, but… that's not to say they didn't worry about you too. In fact, they hoped you would come out of that coma and then join us. Walker and his tribe volunteered to look after you, but unfortunately Marc Antony took over the ranch and we begun planning a rescue mission to get you out. Madison even pleaded me to get you out safely and that was something I swore I would do, and I did."

„You should have left me to die Mikhail, like I told you."

„Which I didn't, and I would never do."

„Well you should have done, I was trying to save your life, which I was half inclined to do."

„What do you mean?"

„I was this close to putting a shotgun round in your face," snarled Travis, signifying with his thumb and index finger how close I was.

„Travis, even if you were going to kill me, I still would have saved you. Not only did I do it for Madison, I did it for Alicia and mostly, I did it for you. You were the one who always stood by me and believed in me. You were my favorite teacher, you were the reason I endured so much hardship at school. If it weren't for you, I would never have accomplished so much and become a star pupil and have won that award."

Travis' face turned morose and his eyes drew close together, it seemed what I said to him further resonated and jogged his memory.

„In fact enough of talking about school, how about we talk about our little reunion back in Mexico. You came to help me, even when I declined your help and ordered you to stay back. I risked my life trying to protect you, Madison and Alicia. You even risked your life for me, which I've always been grateful for. How about the time you came to enliven my spirts after Alicia scorned me, or even the time you came to keep me company at the ranch?"

Travis didn't answer, he remained mute, but I could tell it was all coming back to him.

„Now I've reminded you of what you do know, how about I tell you something you don't know. When Marc Antony shot you in the spine and you went into a coma, you were so close to death's door. I saw Madison, Alicia and Nick cry over what could have been your dead Body. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here now."

Travis looked up at me with his mouth hung open and his eyes blinking sporadically. His eyes were moist and it looked like tears were about to flow.

„You were losing a lot of blood, there wasn't any donated blood that had your blood type, so someone had to give it. It turned out that there was only one person who had the same blood type as you, me."

A tear leaked out of Travis' right eye and ran fast down his cheek.

„Da, it was me. I gave my blood for you. I gave a lot of my blood, I nearly died. I could have died, I was willing to die, die to save you for Madison and her family. I was only lucky to survive the ordeal and be here right now, so we can have another reunion and become one big happy family."

„Mikhail, I don't know what to say…" wept Travis.

„Do you still want to die Travis? If you do then I don't know what to say. If you do want to live, I suggest leaving the past where it belongs, pick up the pieces and move on." I took out a food bar out of my pocket which was a hematogen, a nutrition bar made from cow's blood, eaten a lot in Russia. I threw in on the bed next to Travis.

„Here, if you ever get hungry, here's food. Feel free to throw it out of the window, if not, get it down your neck."

I turned my back on Travis and prepared to leave the room, indifferent what he was going to do next, knowing that I tried everything I could to reason with him.

„Mikhail," called out Travis.

I froze in position, and without turning my head I responded, „Da?"

„About the night when you won the talent show and I asked to speak to your dad and grandma in private. It's just that… well… I… I was the one who told your grandma that you took up smoking."

I stood at the open door with my hand on the door in my own little trance. This disclosure from Travis would have caused someone irrational to lose control and respond violently in retaliation, but me, I wasn't the irrational type. I concluded that Travis wasn't in hindsight responsible for my grandma's death. It was me who decided to take up smoking and I got caught in the act, it was only Travis who informed my grandma about my habit. I then felt forgiveness in my heart, took a deep breath, breathed out and said, „Thank you Travis."

Without having anything to say to Travis, I left the room, closed the door and allowed him solitude.

This little epiphany with Travis telling me the truth about telling my grandma that I smoked helped me find closure and stop feeling responsible for my grandma's death. I was tempted to have a cigarette like I would do after recovering from a psychological moment. Looking at my pack of cigarettes, I then realized how very recently I had a cigarette and that I vowed to have a smoke after meals. Being reminded of my grandma, I resisted the urge to have another cigarette and put the packet back in my pocket.

I walked into the lounge and saw Alicia and Madison cuddled up on the sofa. Madison got up off the sofa and walked passed me and bestowed me a smile. I could see it on her face that she had been crying. Her eyes were slightly red and she was glistening below the eyes, the tears really did do their magic. All she had to do was express her emotions, shed tears and she was happy again.

I sat on the couch with Alicia, who looked delighted to see me. We cuddled up and Alicia asked, „Is Travis okay?"

„Travis is going to be okay, I promise. He just needs time."

„Thank you for saving him."

„You're welcome Alicia, I did it for you as much as I did it for your mother and myself."

„What is Travis to you?" Alicia lifted her head off my shoulder to look at me.

„He was my favorite teacher, no, he is my father figure."

What I said there was true, Travis was more of a father to me than my actual father ever was. He was more supportive than my father ever was to me, and as far as fathers go, that is one of the traits that makes a good father.

Alicia looked at me awkwardly and frowned, „If Travis became your father, we'd be brother and sister."

I laughed, „Travis isn't your biological father."

„It was a joke dumbass," Alicia punched me in the arm.

„I know."

„Mikhail, can we see the sun come down again?" asked Alicia, gazing into my eyes with adoration.

„Sure Alicia, whatever you want."

Her eyes sparkled into mine and her lips twitched into a smile. I knew what the look was, by now that look indicated she wanted to kiss and I knew it was the go ahead. As always, I craved to kiss her impeccable lips, which I knew were mine to kiss. I slowly and delicately took Alicia in my arms, threaded my fingers through her soft silky hair and caressed her lips with mine. I relished the moment of being inside Alicia's mouth and wanted this intimate romantic moment to last, until to my dismay the voice of someone clearing their throat intervened.

My eyes shot wide open and both Alicia and I turned our heads to see Madison holding two cups in her hands. She smiled as she handed Alicia her drink and then me my drink, which I could see was black tea.

Madison sat on the couch with her bright eyes on Alicia and I. It was quite obvious that Madison liked the spectacle of Alicia and I together.

„So what's going on with Travis?" asked Madison.

The tone in Madison's voice sounded passive and that she wasn't angry with Travis about the little falling out they had.

„Travis is going to be okay, I know it. Him and I had a little talk and I convinced and reminded him that you still love and care for him. I even told him that life is worth living and that he just doesn't know it yet."

„Mikhail, you would have made a great school counselor, you succeeded what I failed to do with Travis."

„Well Travis had a hard time being in captivity, he was subjected to both psychological and physical torture. It's understandable why he was the way he is. Just give him time and he'll come through."

I just wish he told me these things," signed Madison, resting her elbow on back rest of the couch.

„It's kind of hard to find it in you to be honest. I should know, I've been there. I could have come to you for counseling, but I just didn't have it in me."

„You just didn't want to tell me you were in love with Alicia?" Madison smiled slyly.

We both laughed and so did Alicia.

„Da, it was partially that, but there's no point talking about it because Alicia and I are already dating." I slung my arm around Alicia, pulled her in and kissed her on the head.

„Mikhail, not in front of my mum," whined Alicia sarcastically.

„What? Your mum saw us kiss anyway."

„Yeah but that wasn't meant for her eyes."

I was expecting Madison to bring up the idea of a wedding, but all she did was gawk at us and smile. Maybe she forgot about the subject and wouldn't bring it up again until a later date.

* * *

It was late afternoon and the sky outside was turning red. Alicia was in her room getting ready for our second date. We weren't going to go far from the cabin, we decided to relax by the porch and watch the sun go down from there. Not much of a date I know, but I guess it's because Alicia wasn't too keen on the idea of going far away from the cabin, which was a decision I respected.

I was already dressed and spruced and I smiled how true it was that girls take longer than boys to get ready for a date. While I waited for Alicia to come to me looking ungodly pretty, I decided to check on Travis.

I peeked through the keyhole in the door and saw Travis was in the same position I last found him. The hermatogen bar was still on the bed, which hadn't been eaten yet. Before I tore my eye away from the keyhole, something amazing happened. Travis turned his wheelchair to face the bed, grabbed the hermatogen bar and started to unwrap it. He took the first bite and he chewed on it for half a minute before swallowing. His reaction was neutral, he didn't react as if he enjoyed the taste, but nonetheless took another bite and continued to eat the bar.

Once he was finished, he then proceeded to pick up the fragments of the plate Madison smashed. With all the fragments collected, he then proceeded to the door and I stepped away.

I watched Travis wheel himself to the kitchen that dingy with only a beam of sunlight radiating through the window. Travis threw the fragments and the wrapper in the bin

Madison walked in the kitchen to see Travis in the process of disposing of the fragments. She wrapped her arms around him lovingly and pressed her face into his shoulder.

„Madison, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for hurting you," cried Travis with a tear rolling down his face.

„It's okay Travis, I'm sorry too," muffled Madison, also crying.

After they stopped crying, Travis held out his open hand and saw there was blood running down his arm.

„Travis you're bleeding," shocked Madison.

„I'll be okay, it's just a small cut."

„Don't be silly Travis, you should know better that you should always clean cuts."

Madison cleaned Travis's hand, dried it and then placed a band-aid on the cut. I watched as I saw both Madison and Travis smiling at each other, this was a sign that Travis was going to recover and his romance with Madison would hopefully rekindle.

This beautiful sight was interrupted with an even more beautiful sight, which was Alicia, who had appeared at my side. As always Alicia was beautiful, even when she was without make-up or wearing pretty dresses. This wasn't to say I didn't like seeing Alicia spruced up, which I did. It's just I knew she went all that way and all that effort to impress me.

Alicia was wearing a new dress, a skin tight white dress with a split from the thighs, probably to enable leg movement. The dress was also laced with a vertical black stripe on each side, giving the dress more style. The neckline of the dress was a v-shape, which exposed her collar-bone and a patch of her bare-chest. She wore the same perfume as yesterday, which had a strong sensational aroma, I can see she sprayed it on her neck. Her hairstyle was different this time around. She altered her hair in light, delicate luxurious curls, which glistened whenever light touched them and draped over her slender shoulders.

Alicia smiled at me and offered me her hand, which I ardently took and allowed her to lead me outside where we would spend our date.

* * *

The evening atmosphere was placid and serene, with a mild cool temperature and an orange setting sun to beautify the scenery. It was what anyone who like me appreciates nature and natural beauty could wish for. Especially when you have someone to share it with.

Alicia and I were sitting on the swing bench, having a glass of red wine and watching the sun slowly descend, and for the night sky to cast its shadow.

„Mikhail, I don't know how to say this but… I get the feeling life is going to get better," speculated Alicia, sounding content and optimistic.

Alicia's words coincided with mine and I knew how words like that could never be truer and sweeter. I took my hands in Alicia's and whispered into her ear, which was close to my mouth, „You're right Alicia, things will get better, I know it. We are going to make things better, together."

Alicia squeezed my hand passionately and stroked my hand with her thumb.

„Together?"

„Da, together. We're going to make our own community, we're going to build it from the ground up. We're going to invite other people to join us. Good people, those who appreciate our offer for protection and prosperity."

„But first we need to find them. They are so many out there who are in danger and need our help."

„We'll find them Alicia, I promise." I delivered a delicate kiss on Alicia's head.

„Unfortunately we are going to have to fight, there are many who will want to kill us and I need to be ready."

„You're a tough girl Alicia, you can take them. You made a great sniper, if it weren't for you I'd be dead." I stroked the back of Alicia's hand and tightened my embrace around her, feeling a warm fuzzy feeling for the girl I loved and knew saved my life.

Alicia broke out of my warm embrace just to face me with eyes gazing into mine.

„You're a tough guy Mikhail and I need you to teach me how to be tough like you. I need to learn how to fight." Alicia stroked my chest and raised a persuasive smile to appease me.

„Da, I will teach you how to fight. Together we're going to become a fighting duo."

„Like Bonnie and Clyde?" asked Alicia, flaring her smile and shining her eyes into mine.

„Da like Bonnie and Clyde."

I smiled fervently at Alicia's beaming delightful face. She was so beautiful, a real angel standing over me. She was an angel I could touch, an angel I could confide in an angel that would be by my side to show me the way. Looking at her twinkling eyes and alluring lips, ready to kiss me, I closed my eyes as her face got closer to mine.

With my eyes closed and feeling her soft lips wrapped around mine, I was reminded how I was waking up from a coma. I opened my eyes to find myself lying in a hospital bed, except this time, I would open my eyes to an even better and pleasant sight.

Still engaged in kissing Alicia, I kept my eyes closed and pulled her into me to feel her light fragile body on mine. This was a kiss I never wanted to end, only inside the mouth of Alicia was a liberated from all pain and suffering. Everything I endured and suffered, all to get to this very moment where Alicia was mine and I won her heart. I have done enough fighting, I deserve a long well earned break. No fighting, no more crying, no more grieving. Just happiness, got to enjoy it while it lasts. What future is in store for Alicia and I, does it lie together? Whether that is true or not, I didn't want to think about the future or the past. I want to live in the moment, my moment, with Alicia.

Alicia and I broke our long kiss and I saw her rest her head on my chest. I saw how peaceful and happy she looked, bathing in the purple night sky that hovered over us. Sleep Alicia, sleep my angel, sleep my princess. Tomorrow we wake up to a new day, a day I hope will be better than the last.

Before Alicia was asleep, I said endearingly into her open ear, „I love you Alicia."

„I love you too Mikhail," responded Alicia sincerely.

This response made me smile to hear that Alicia loves me too. Not wanting to say anything else to her and let her sleep, I closed my eyes and joined her in her slumber.

 **To be continued…**


	22. Chapter 22: Victor Strand

**Chapter 22: Victor Strand**

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.

 **Bruce Lee**

* * *

 **Mikhail's Journal 29.09.2010**

Living in peace and harmony with the woman I love and the family I have adopted as my own. I never thought life could be so sweet.

Just when I was truly enjoying my holiday, I had to accept that my superiors have allocated me another mission. It was time to pick up my gun and continue the fight.

* * *

Each day that went by and remembering how many days it's been since Alicia and I begun a romance. It was like a fairytale, waking up to a bright lively, sunny day and the song of birds playing in the background. My princess would be resting her gentle head on my chest and if I was lucky, I would wake up first to see her open up her eyes and greet me with a warm loving smile. Her eyes would sparkle into mine and I would receive a morning kiss. This would endow me with the energy I needed to get up and get on with today's chores.

The day was mainly spent working on menial or hard labour tasks around the camp or going out on expeditions in search of food or other supplies. One other thing that these weekly expeditions served the purpose of was for new shelter we could relocate, before winter approaches. Sometimes the expeditions were fruitful and it kept us supplied and furthered the productivity of our small and humble community, but there was no discovery of a new sanctuary. Our community was still vulnerable to both walker and human attacks, so finding a new fortified sanctuary was crucial and the clock was ticking.

Finally that good news would come. Before then there were members of our community that ran out of patience and decided to leave our community and take their chances elsewhere. It seemed our community was shrinking until it became just the Clarks, other smaller families, lone survivors and myself. Those who chose to stay either trusted Madison or relied on me for protection. Of course I could mention the other incidents and issues our community has been facing, but that's too much to tell in one sitting. For now I want to talk about the day help came, but at a price. A price that I thought I had to pay with blood.

„Mikhail, we have a visitor," informed Madison, crashing in on my intimacy with Alicia.

„Really, who?" I asked.

„I don't know, he said he wants to speak to you."

A visitor who wants to speak to me, I wonder who he could be? Someone I know? Whoever this person is I just hope he's a friend.

„Okay, I'll be there shortly."

Madison nodded and closed the door leaving Alicia and I alone to get changed.

Alicia and I were in bed partly clothed, we had just gotten up and have been engaging in kissing and sweet talk, but now it was time to get out of bed and get changed.

„A visitor, someone you know?" asked Alicia inquisitively.

„Nyet not to my knowledge, I don't have any friends back in L.A. or back in Russia."

„Oh Mikhail you sad lonely man," tutted Alicia, crawling behind me and stroking my back. „You really need to start letting more people in your life other than me, we talked about this remember?"

I put on my socks and turned to look at Alicia smiling at me and submitting to my advance.

„Alicia, I'd rather not think about it. That was yesterday and I don't want to fight about it, okay?"

While stroking Alicia's head, she placed her hand on my face and smiled, „Just try to be a little more open okay, don't be cold and so serious like you were last time okay?"

„I promise Alicia," I smiled, looking deep into Alicia's eyes and finding myself magnetizing towards Alicia's lips and kissing her, unable to stop.

„Dumbass, don't keep our guest waiting, go and say hello," ordered Alicia.

„Okay Alicia, sorry Alicia."

I bestowed Alicia a smile and kissed her lips one last time before breaking free, getting changed and walk into the kitchen.

* * *

I walked into the kitchen where I was greeted by Madison and our guest sitting at the table with a hot brew. The guest was a man aged around 40, with a shining bald patch and light brown hair that looked like a pair of curtains arched from his ears to the back of his head. He had pale blue eyes, with a white light in his pupils. His nose was hooked and the right side was damaged, showing broken blood vessels, it's possible he might have suffered a burn. His lips were thin, which he often tucked in to make his bottom lip look fuller or just make his lips look like a long black slit. The whole head looked like a skull, a polished skull with skin and eyeballs embedded in his eye sockets.

The while light in his pupils targeted me and his facial expression turned to joy as he got off his seat and greeted in a raspy Russian accent, „Mikhail, Mikhail Romanenko." He then continued to speak, but spoke in my language as he approached me to offer his skeletal hand, „So happy to have finally met you tovarishch."

I took the dry bony hand of his and said in my language, „Happy to meet you too. Listen, Madison and no one here speaks Russian. It's better we speak English."

„Nyet tovarishch, what I'm about to tell you is private, that's why we speak in our native tongue," declined the man.

The man sat back down at the table and requested in English, „Madison, do you think you could give us a moment to talk? What I'm about to tell Mikhail is important and private."

Madison looked at the man disapprovingly, but then concurred, „ Okay."

„Spasibo," rasped the man.

I was left alone with the man who has not yet given me his name, but instead dug into his coat pocket and pulled out a cigarette packet. He pulled out himself one and placed it in between his lips, he looked at me and extended the packet towards me, „Cigarette?"

„Nyet," I declined, „I'm cutting down."

The man just looked at me and froze until he suddenly moved his lips bobbing the cigarette up and down, „You need to live a little tovarishch, life is too short to resist life's many pleasures."

I found his statement kind of ironic that he smokes to shorten his lifespan, but true and reminiscent of what Alicia said to me, I've got to enjoy life a little more.

The man lit his cigarette and gave me his name, „My name is Dimitri Johanovich Vladinov and I'm here to brief you on your new mission."

The word ‚mission' hit me in the stomach like a bullet, it was a bad feeling knowing I was now risking my life in the name of duty.

„Wait a minute, you were the one who sent me those tapes?"

Dimitri took a drag on his cigarette and blew a thick cloud entrapping me in it.

„Da, I'm in charge of supplying you goods, but I'm not the one who orchestrates them."

„Nyet, then who is?"

„Unfortunately that information is classified, but you will meet him soon enough."

„Okay then, why do I experience blackouts whenever I listen to those tapes?"

Dimitri hesitated, took another drag on his cigarette and blew another cloud of intoxicating smoke, which went down into my lungs.

„I don't know, all I know is we wont be sending you tapes from now on. We've decided your time has come and you've earned a place in our humble prosperous community."

„Community?"

„Da community, but before I take you there, you must complete this final mission."

„About the community, can I ask you something before I'm briefed on this final mission?"

Dimitri took another drag on his cigarette and permitted, „Yasno Mikhail, shoot."

„Everyone here is struggling to set up a new life here and winter is approaching, do you think we could take them along?"

Dimitri looked at me with a frown and cold steel eyes, before taking another drag to respond to my question I hoped he would respond with, „Da Mikhail, they can come too. However, they have to go through an initiation process and agree to our integration rules."

„Ochen horosho, okay I'll tell them."

„Horosho, but now I must brief you on your mission if that's okay with you?"

„Da, please proceed."

Dimitri pulled out a large brown envelope underneath the table and slid it on the table towards me. I opened it and saw stapled papers, but what caught my eye was a photo of a black man, probably the age of 40 paper-clipped in the left corner.

„Your mission is to capture this man, his name is Victor Strand. He's a con-man and a former blackmarket weapons dealer. Back in the Cold War he turned to anyone who he could profit from, American or Russian it didn't matter to him, whoever pays he serves. At the end of the Cold War he took his golden opportunity to seize and sell Soviet arms on the black market to anyone who had money. Of course the Russian Federation didn't tolerate such a man selling our property to fill his own pockets, so he became an enemy of the state. We want you to bring him to us." Dimitri gave me time to read the first page, before I turned over and he continued to brief me, „We know his location, he's being detained at a stadium in Baja California called El Bazar. It's basically a trading post, but also a detention center, which is where Strand is being held."

I looked at a picture of El Bazar and I could see it was a place swarming with people coming in and out of the building. There was even a map of the building with the names of each section. Without much scrutinizing, I saw where the detention cells were.

I looked up at Dimitri and question, „So why do you need my help? Can't you just go in and apprehend him?"

„Tovarishch, I wish it was that simple, otherwise we wouldn't approach you and give you this job. The place is well fortified with heavily armed men, this is no job for a meager task force, this is a one man job. Reading your record you were always the best in infiltration and stealth operations, this is why we have assigned you to go in and extract Strand."

I nodded and studied the map carefully, trying to work out how I would sneak around the premises and evade security.

„This has to be done soon tovarishch, because tomorrow, Strand will be executed."

„What's the insertion method?"

„You will go in dressed in civilian clothes. Once you're in, you will be greeted by our contact. You should find his photo on the next page."

I flipped a page to see my contact's face and instructions how I should approach him and a codeword, which should immediately identify me as his contact.

„He will supply you with weapons and equipment."

I looked at the next page and saw what I'll be equipped with for the mission. One was a pistol, but it was unlike any other pistol I've seen in my life. It was a small handgun with a long barrel which was round like a pipe, sort of like a blowpipe. I would read down the page and discover the gun holds gas piston like rounds that are tranquilizers.

I was even introduced to another piece of equipment I would be allocated with. It was a round magnetic disk, which was used to silently open locked doors. Once attached to the lock it would administer a hydraulic acid foam that would spread out and corrode the lock.

„Once you have located and apprehended Strand, you will meet us at the extraction point. You will find it on the last page." briefed Dimitri, as I looked at the last page where the extraction point was pinpointed.

On the last page detailed that once I've found Strand, I was to set a smoke flare to signify that target has been secured and then smoke bombs would be detonated simultaneously, which would secure the escape plan.

Rereading through the pages I did have my doubts and skepticisms of how the mission would go and if it really was going to be as easy as it looked. How was Strand going to react when I first encounter him? Was he going to be cooperative or was he going to resist, either way I had to expect the unexpected.

„What the fuck," sputtered Madison walking in the kitchen and staggering towards the window to open it. „With all do respect Dimitri, we don't allow smoking in the house," reproved Madison, eyeing Dimitri.

„Sorry madam, I will remember next time."

„Madison, you're not going to believe this, but I think our long search for new shelter is over."

Madison's eyes lit up and she was intrigued to listen.

I told Madison about the community I was promised a place in should I carry out this mission, but she was never filled in on the conditions required to be initiated. She and the others who decided to come along will be introduced to the initiation program.

Madison did ask me what the mission was and Dimitri reminded me that it's classified, but was permitted to bring others along as long as they don't interfere.

* * *

The next day, before I was prepared to travel with Dimitri and his driver who he gave his name as ‚Igor' to El Bazar. Alicia and Madison would show their support.

„Ready to go into the lion's den Mikhail!" asked Dimitri.

„Always am, I think it's past their feeding time and they wont need feeding for another hour," I quipped, trying to sound cool for Alicia and Madison.

„Mikhail?" asked Madison as I turned to face her.

„Da."

„Be careful, make it back in one piece."

„Come on Madison I always do."

I looked at Alicia who gave me a smile and I requested, „How about wishing me luck?"

„Good luck," smiled Alicia.

„Well I was thinking perhaps I could get…"

„Mikhail not in front of my mum okay."

„Akh Alicia."

„When you make it back in one piece and we are alone okay."

„Ladna," I huffed.

Madison suspiciously frowned at both Alicia and I, knowing what we both meant.

Before I got in, I got superstitious that Alicia not kissing me for good luck would mean this mission would be a failure, but what could I do? Going to have to rely on my skill and pre-planning in order to complete this mission and come out alive.

* * *

When we reached El Bazar, I could see what a big place it was, swarming with humans going in and out like ants around an anthill. Never have I ever been inside a stadium, but then again I've never been a sports-buff, so who am I to know what a stadium is like. Nonetheless I studied the map carefully and know where everything is, where to find my contact and obtain my gear and where Strand is. I was ready, ready to walk in casually and find my contact and hope I don't arouse any suspicion.

Getting past security wasn't a problem. I paid my admission, frisked for any concealed weapons and granted entry.

Upon entering the stadium, it was roaring and teeming with people who either were visiting or working there. The whole place reminded me a bit like the Novopodrezkovo flea market or the Danilovsky market in Moscow, went there as part of a school trip. We were always told to stick together and not wander off, otherwise we would get abducted and never seen again.

I always did enjoy my trips to the market, seeing all the goods that were on sale. It was a shame I didn't have any money on me, but I was inclined to steal, despite my grandma always told me stealing was distasteful.

There were people of all ages and ethnicities, obviously seizing the opportunity to either make a quick buck or just seek shelter from the cruel and savage outside world.

Some even tried to approach me and sell me their products, like a real hustler would, but I had to squeeze past them.

Eventually after getting past them I would find my contact sitting at a table alone, who matched the description in the file. He was drinking out of an old plastic cup and riveting his eyes on me. He was a young man, bald with a wide bulbous nose and blue eyes.

I gave him the password, which was to offer a refill and he would respond in my language, „zapolnyat'" meaning ‚fill it up'. The waitress answered our table and got us drinks, my contact got a refill and I ordered something non-alcoholic, not a time to be drinking in the middle of a mission.

Once we had our drinks, he gave me the current status of Strand and told me he hasn't been relocated and is still located in the same holding cell. I was even informed that the smoke grenades have been stashed in the ventilation ducts and were ready to be detonated. Feeling fully briefed about Strand's current condition and the plan to break him out, I received something push against my foot. When I looked down to see what it was a parcel, which I grabbed and took my leave, giving my contact a friendly nod.

I went to the toilet where I would indulge in privacy and open up the parcel. It was as I expected, the equipment I needed to get to Strand. A tranquilizer gun, acid breaching charge and a red smoke flare. Now that I was armed and dangerous, I proceeded with the mission.

* * *

I memorized Strand's location and followed the map I had drummed in my head. Locating him wasn't hard, but getting past security was nerve-racking. There were security cameras I had to watch out. Two of them I was able to sneak past, but one I had to disable in order to get further, which meant I had to hurry before security come and investigate.

I was able to avoid detection and having to use my tranq-gun as I was able to take out a couple of guards with my barehands. I didn't kill them, but I choked one out cold and knocked the other one out cold. This was necessary to reach Strand's cell.

Reaching the exact cell number and with no guard in sight, I placed the little breach charge, which magnetized on the door. I pressed the button in the middle and foam squirted out around the edge. The foam started to melt the lock and the exterior started to corrode. Once the foam ceased to burn away the metal and was only bubbling, I tried the door and it pushed open.

To my right I saw a lone man in the corner, surprised to see me. He matched the description in the file, it was Strand, Victor Strand.

„Is it time?" asked Strand suspiciously.

„Victor Strand, I need you to come with me."

„Who are you the Grim Reaper? I never knew the Grim Reaper was a Commie."

Strand calling me a Commie rung a bell and I realized it was a slang term for Russian. He obviously assumes that I'm Russian.

„Nyet Strand, I'm not the Grim Reaper. I'm your rescuer and I'm here to get you out."

„Who sent you, who are you with?"

„No time for questions Strand, we need to get out of here… fast."

„Okay, lead the way whoever you are."

„My name is Mikhail."

„Okay Mikhail, I sure hope you know the way out and a good hotel you can take me to."

Strand proved to be such a character and kind of a charmer, then again it's the traits what an arms dealer and con man needs to succeed in the business. I was wary of how cooperative Strand would be or if he is a loose canon. He wants to get out alive so I'm sure he'll be cooperative. I set the smoke flare on the window and made sure the smoke was flowing out the window. We both exited the cell and were ready to proceed to the exit, hoping no obstacles would be encountered.

„Hey you stop," toned a voice behind Strand and I.

I turned around and saw a guard already aiming his weapon at Strand and I. Impulsively I dropped to one knee and put a tranquilizer round in the guard's neck. First time I used the gun and I'm surprised that the gun had no recoil.

Two other armed guards with machine guns jumped in the corridor with their weapons aimed, but they were caught in a cloud of smoke. Guess the smoke did come in handy after all, which is why they call it a smoke screen.

I ran towards the disorientated guards and rammed my weight into them and quickly incapacitated them. Not killing them, but wounding them. I would dislocate one guard's knee and deliver a knee to his face and the other guard I deflected his machine gun down to his foot. His gun would go off and the rounds shredded his foot. To spare him the agony, I slammed his head to the side of the wall to incapacitate him.

We made it to the rubbish chute, which would be our way out. It opened and the stench hit our nostrils and made us want to heave.

„So Strand this is our way out."

„Jesus Christ it stinks."

„Sure does."

„Well, last one in is a rotten tomato," joked Strand, climbing into the chute and disappearing down it.

Of course I was going to be the last one in, I had to protect Strand while he climbed down the chute. I held back the guards, shooting two more with my tranq-gun, before jumping down myself and holding my breath. The sound of gunfire that hit the interior of the chute echoed and hurt my ears, but I felt safe from the gunfire and we would escape.

I would slide down a dark long chute until I would see daylight below my feet and would fall out and crash land on a heap of garbage. The garbage heap broke my fall, but I knew I needed a wash when I get back.

I saw Strand standing beside me and brushing off garbage that stuck to him. There were mountains of trash that was rearranged into recyclables and we could see there were those in overalls working on the garbage heaps and raking out the recyclables.

There was a worker standing next to the gate looking at us with suspicion and apprehension.

„Open the gate now," I ordered, pointing my tranq gun at him, which immediately intimidated him into opening up the gate.

Once the gate was opened, I placed a tranq-round in the back of his head. Outside the gate, I could see our getaway vehicle where both Strand and I boarded and we were quickly driven away.

„Privyet Strand, long time no see old friend," grinned Dimitri who sat next to Strand while I sat on Strand's other side.

„Dimitri where have you been? Last time we met was in Kiev," smiled Strand, not looking or sounding too surprised.

„And here we meet again in Mexico," retorted Dimitri, widening his smile and gleaming his teeth. Suddenly he whipped out a pistol and pressed it against Strand's temple, „Mikhail… cuff him."

Strand froze and didn't look scared, it was like he was used to having guns pointed at him.

I didn't hesitate and followed Dimitri's orders by cuffing Strand and assisting in abducting a man I only met this morning.

„Victor Strand, you are under arrest for theft and deception of Russian property. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. If you can't afford an attorney, you're out of luck, no attorney will save you," wisecracked Dimitri.

„Do I get to make a phone call?"

„Don't play dumb Strand, just shut up and don't move, otherwise you get a bullet in the kneecap."

Strand didn't say another word, he just sat there and was as good as gold on the way back to the cabin.

* * *

We arrived back late afternoon, where we were approached by the campers who surrounded the vehicle. I stepped out and saw Madison and Alicia had come to greet me.

„Mikhail," exclaimed Alicia, throwing her arms around me. After only a short squeeze, Alicia released me and backed away and choked, „Oh Mikhail you stink."

„I know, I've been down a rubbish chute just to escape."

„Strand," frowned Madison, noticing that Strand was being dragged out of the car by Dimitri.

„Hello Madison," greeted Strand.

„What are you doing here?" asked Madison.

„He wont be here for long, he's coming with us."

„I guess I really needed that good luck kiss, in fact I could do with one right now," I smirked at Alicia expressing displeasure.

„No Mikhail, you need a wash," declined Alicia.

„Maybe we can have a wash together," I tried to tempt Alicia into something kinky, but Alicia frowned at me in discontent, „Okay fine I'll go and wash up."

I walked to the cabin to have a wash and I could hear Strand say, „Do I get to have a wash, I've been down in the dumps too."

Strand was then struck behind with soap water from a bucket with Dimitri mocking, „There all clean."

„Do you think I could have a towel, I'm all wet?" Request Strand.

„Oh we'll get you dried up soon," smirked Dimitri.

„Good, because I don't think you want to get the seat wet," relieved Strand.

„Akh you're not getting back in the car, you're being transported by air."

„Oh you mean like a private jet? Been a while since I flew first class," said Strand, not feeling intimidated by Dimitri scornful face.

Out of nowhere Igor attached something to Strand's back, which then shot out an inflated balloon that hoisted Strand into the air. Strand expressed shock and panic as he kicked in the air and struggled as he climbed higher.

Dimitri got out his radio, pressed the button and said, „Tsel' gotova k vzyatiyu." Which means that Strand is ready to be picked up.

We both gawked up in the sky to see an An-124 Ruslan plane fly towards Strand. The balloon was caught on the wing and Strand was dragged along. Hopefully he'll be safely helped into the cargo hold before he catches hypothermia from the windchill.

I had a wash just like Alicia wanted me to do and I walked back outside with wet hair to interact with Dimitri who was happy to see me.

„So Mikhail, are you ready to go to your new home?" asked Dimitri cordially.

„Da I sure am."

„Horosho, step into your chariot tovarishch."

Dimitri opened the door and stepped aside, allowing me access to step in, but I stood still and hesitated.

„Wait is it just me going?"

„Well da of course, who else are we going to take along?"

I looked at everyone looking bewildered about this sudden announcement that I would be breaking away from the group and going to meet my people. Looking at Madison and Alicia also looking maudlin, I just couldn't bring it in myself to leave my new family.

„Nyet, I can't. I'm sorry, I can't leave my family behind."

„Then bring them along, there's room for two more," suggested Dimitri.

Looking at not only Alicia and Madison, but also Travis and Nick who were also part of the family. Knowing that we can't all fit in, I looked at Mina with her mother's hands on her shoulders. I looked back at Dimitri with an idea.

„Can I make a request?"

„Sure Mikhail."

„Could you take Mina and her mother?"

„Shto?" baffled Dimitri.

„Listen, Mina is a little girl and she needs her mother with her. She's the only kid we have (knowing Rico was also a kid), I think she and her mother should go."

Dimitri just looked at me dubiously, slipped his bottom lip under his top lip and responded, „Okay, if you wish."

„Wait," intervened Madison, „Why don't we wait until morning and go together?"

„Out of question, it's 19 hours drive. HQ wants us back and doesn't tolerate lateness."

There was a long moment of silence, until Madison opened her mouth with another alternative.

„Okay fine, but can we at least have directions?"

„Certainly, but before I give them to you I have to ask Mikhail if this is what he really wants."

I looked at Alicia and I saw she was smiling, obviously a sign she wants me to stay and go together the next morning. I turned back to give Dimitri my final answer.

„Very sure."

Dimitri again hesitated and gave me that disappointed look before he shrugged his shoulders and said, „Okay… come along little girl and your mother."

„Her name is Mina," I confirmed with Dimitri.

„Okay come along Mina," beckoned Dimitri.

Mina ran to me to hug my legs and plead, „Mikhail please don't stay, come with us."

I bent down to look at Mina in the eyes and convince, „Mina you have to go, it's best for you and your mother. I'll be with you soon I promise."

„Pinky swear," said Mina, holding out her little finger like a hook.

I locked my little finger with hers and responded, „Pinky swear."

Mina smiled and I reciprocated the smile. I allowed her to kiss me on the cheek before I watched her climb into the escort vehicle with her mother. Her mother turned to smile at me approvingly before she climbed in after her mother.

Before the escort vehicle drove off, Dimitri approached Madison to give her a folded up map.

„We are located in Montana, just follow the directions and you will find us."

Madison smiled as she took the map from Dimitri.

Dimitri went to the back of the vehicle and opened the trunk. He took out three large rectangle crates and set them down below my feet. On one of the crates it read in Russian ‚Warning High-Explosive'. This gave me a vague hint what could be in the crates.

„Well Mikhail, this isn't goodbye, but see you later tovarishch," beamed Dimitri, offering me his hand.

„See you at base, tovarishch," I said, taking Dimitri's hand and shaking it.

I watched Dimitri get into the front at the passenger's seat and then watching the vehicle drive off with Mina waving at me, as I waved back with a comforting smile.

Once the vehicle was out of sight, I turned to look at Alicia who was smiling at me.

„You did a very noble thing Mikhail, I am proud of you."

I blushed as I responded, „Little girl's life is precious and no girl should be without her mother."

„Do you think she'll make it safely?" asked Alicia, expressing concern.

„I'm sure of it," I smiled.

Alicia put her arms around my neck and I put my hands on her hips, we were about to kiss until Madison intervened.

„Alicia… Mikhail what are you two doing? Time to pack your bags. It's moving day tomorrow," exulted Madison. The smile on her face revealed how excited she was, excited like a little a little girl who was going to Disney World tomorrow.

„Guess that kiss is going to have to wait," cooed Alicia.

„I know, better get moving," I responded with an enamored smile.

Alicia gave me a quick kiss on the lips and she went her own separate way. Feeling a little cheeky and daring, I slapped Alicia's behind and she looked at me with a kinky expression on her face. Doing what I thought I'd never do because I wanted to be a gentleman towards her, really kind of gave me the hint that I revived the spark in my relationship. I was giving her a little sexual contact, enough to satisfy her until we would make it to our new home and have intercourse for the first time like I promised her.

Right now, I decided to check what was in the three crates and then assemble the rest of my belongings, because tomorrow was going to be the big day, moving day.

 **To be continued…**


End file.
